Chap 6.

 

~~~   MONDAY:   The school restroom is a clean and bright space, with white countertops and shiny silver taps. The air had a tincture of bleach, naturally, it is that kind of place. Yet infused with that is the scent of lavender, a calming reminder of the natural world.    Minjeong sits in a handicapped restroom stall and plays Fortnite while listening to music. She puts the toiler lid down and sits on it; spreading and resting her legs on a small counter. She refuses to attend the first period simply because she doesn't feel like it.    She has told the teacher that she was not feeling well and she wished to have some time for herself. The teacher agreed since she promised she would finish all of the assignments by tonight. Every time she feels snippy, instead of tying into her energy, she would step back take a deep breath, and spends as much time needed to calm herself down.    She has not talked to Jimin ever since they came back from Ryujin's disastrous party - not like Jimin cares anyway. Minjeong realized that she was in over her head and was about to spin out of control. She did look like a whiner - the type who whimpers and acts with no responsibility just to get what she wants. She must have confused the heck out of Jimin and probably traumatized her.   She is grateful for the opportunity to alter the past and proves her love for Jimin. It is just that she has a hard time letting go of her life with her girlfriend. The Jimin who loves her unconditionally. The Jimin who depends on her and showers her with love. And so she put the pressure on the confused 17-year-old Jimin who might doesn't know if she likes girls yet.    As guilty as she feels, Minjeong doesn't feel like apologizing, at least not now. As a matter of fact, she doesn't know what she would say to Jimin. Maybe she would not talk to her. Not at all.    She hears footsteps and some girls walk into the restroom. Immediately, she realizes they are Jimin and one of her close friends - Yeji.   "I can't believe you got wasted last Saturday night and I wasn't there to see it!!" Yeji says. Then comes the sound of water splashing.   Minjeong puts her earphones away and focuses entirely on their conversation. Eavesdropping in a handicapped bathroom stall, she has stoop that low.   "It wasn't that fun," Jimin says. Minjeong imagines her leaning against the counter.   "But Ryujin got suspended for it! Must be a hell of a party!"   Jimin scoffs. "What do you expect? She threw a party at a celebrity's house! And the celebrity is her cousin!"   "She is a legend!" Yeji sounds completely smitten and undoubtedly that would earn eyes roll from Jimin.    "How is Irene in real life?" Yeji squeaks.   Now that Yeji mentions it, Minjeong remembers how Jimin was pretty nonchalant when Irene appeared at the party.   "I tried to keep my cool but..." Jimin pauses and the sound of water splashing comes.   "I nearly die." Jimin continues, her voice in a high pitch. "She is so pretty, Yeji. So so pretty."   Minjeong has never heard Jimin say that to anyone. Now she is jealous of the iconic kpop idol.    "I bet!" Yeji laughs. "Did you meet any cute boys?"   Jimin goes quiet for a while then she says, "Not really. But there was someone."   "Who?!"   "... I don't know. They kissed me at the party."   "How?! Tell me!"   "I was drunk and we were playing some kind of kissing paper game? Anyway, they kissed me, and then they got mad at me."   "Jimin, this guy sounds like a douche-bag."   "It was a game. Maybe I overreacted. Everyone was drunk. Probably nothing to worry about."   "What did you think about the kiss?"   Minjeong's heart starts beating faster as she waits for Jimin's answers.   "I..." Jimin struggles to find the right words. "I don't know."   "At least give me something! Terrible? Amazing? Like seeing fireworks? Sloppy?"   "Like I was sitting near a crackling campfire during a windy winter night. That type of feeling."   "Jeezus, Jimin!"   "But I was drunk and it's weird to dwell on whatever happened because nothing happened that is too important to think that something happened."   "Okay...?"   "Maybe it's best if we keep our distance from now on."   Minjeong smiles bitterly to the sting in her chest. She feels it increasingly grows as the realizes she could have burned the bridge with Jimin. Looking pathetic in the eyes of your soulmate cut deep. Minjeong quietly puts her legs up and hugs them close; her chin leans on her knees. She tries way too hard and Jimin doesn't even consider them to be friends yet.    "Agree! You got one less problem without him." Yeji laughs and Minjeong can imagine Jimin sharing that laugh with her.    Even though she appreciates Jimin for not spilling out her name, Minjeong's mind can't help but skid back over their times together, desperate to remember. With how things are going right now, she is afraid to even the most precious memories could be erased forever.   They finally leave the restroom to attend the second period - PE. Minjeong stays put; sinking into the unsteady beat of her heart and the clench of her fists.   ~~~   In P.E class, the teacher makes them pair up and starts stretching exercises. If it isn't bad enough, the pair is randomly assigned by number.   And once again, Minjeong is paired with Jimin. Normally, this would send her flying on cloud nine. But this time, Minjeong slumps her shoulder and looks to the ground instead of Jimin.    Jimin sightly groans while crossing her arms in displeased. She stands in front of Minjeong, eyes staring at her up and down.    "Shall we?" Jimin asks impatiently since Minjeong refuses to say anything. Minjeong gives a small nod.    Minjeong gulps at the sight of Jimin in her school gym uniform. She chooses to wear shorts today while the others wear sweatpants. Minjeong stares at her for a few beats, checking out her long slender legs and long slender arms until she glances at Minjeong and she averts her eyes.   They are doing the high-kicker’s stretch. The girls sit on the ground while spreading their legs, their feet touching each other and pointing upward. They extend their arms forward and clasp hands with the other. Jimin's hands are cold and her face is calm; almost with no emotions. Minjeong wonders if she had any breakfast this morning. If she did then her hands wouldn't be this cold and shaky.    The girls slowly lean back and forth with their arms extending forward. Despite the loud chattering of other students, awkward silence surrounds their group. Minjeong exhales. Even Jimin's straight face is making her nervous. She created this mess. It's time to be the adult and clean it up.   "Hey," Minjeong says in a small tone. Her lips press together, earning her a sharp look from Jimin.   "Saturday was stupid, wasn't it?"   Jimin doesn't respond. She learns forward; following the stretching exercises. Her eyes stay on Minjeong.   "Even if it was just a game, I did freak you out."   Again, Jimin chooses to stay silent. The anxious feelings rummaging inside her mind make Minjeong suffocate. It might explain her bad mood. She grips Jimin's hand tightly; almost as if she is trying to warm her up.   They go for a minute of awkward silence. The sound of Jimin's softly breathing calms her down a bit.   "I'm sorry. You can forget all of it ever happened." Minjeong offers an apologetic smile.   Jimin looks at her curiously. She pulls her hands back and breaks out of their position. The stretch exercises are finally over.   "What makes you think I care?" Jimin's tone is a mixture of mocking and stating the obvious.   Jimin stands up and extends her hand to help Minjeong, but instead of taking it, Minjeong rams her hands back into her pockets, forming fists.    Dread fills her when Jimin is being this cold and emotionally unavailable. Minjeong sighs; tears start forming in her eyes. She gets up.   She hasn't spoken. She simply stares at Jimin. Her cheeks are aflame with rage. Jimin must think of her as a fool. A laughing stock.    "Of course, you don't." She snorts. Minjeong crosses her arms and turns away   The annoying RINGING in her ears appears again. Her anxiety reaches its highest as the RINGING won't stop. A group of boys step into her vision, they play soccer on the opposite field in an aggressive manner. Minjeong fixes her look on the soccer ball.    Jimin hasn't moved from her spot. She stays behind Minjeong; curious about her intentions.    One of the boys kicks the soccer ball so strong that it flies out of the field and heads toward Minjeong's direction. Minjeong stares at it in a daze. The ball almost hits her head if not for Jimin grabbing her shoulders and pulling her back with great force. Minjeong trips on a pebble and falls into Jimin's embrace.   Jimin hugs her tightly and keeps her steady; she is resting the side of her head against Jimin's chest. Her body feels the warmth and the yearning in Minjeong's heart refuses to let go. She hears Jimin's heart beat quicker in her chest. She feels dizzying sweeps in, turning her tingly. The familiar scent of Jimin's body makes her flushed. The ball hits the ground with a loud thud; creating a whirlwind of dirt and sand. The boys apologize to them. Had the ball hit her head, Minjeong would end up hospitalized.    Minjeong doesn't move an inch, not even when Jimin pushes her aside as if she has been burned.    "Are you okay?" Jimin seems genuinely concerned. She rubs her hands up and down against Minjeong's arms and then she glances around and curses at the boys.    "What the hell was that?" Jimin looks at Minjeong again.   Minjeong pouts her lips and furrows her brows. She blinks away the hot tears; her eyes glint. She wants to sob so that Jimin would hug her and tells her that everything will be okay. But Jimin wouldn't even if she curls up in a ball and cries her heart out; not th