Winter: New Dreams are Born

It was cold. Mark probably should have been used to it by now. He’d been driving around the snow-covered streets since early that morning, and his car was less than adequately heated as always. But no matter how many hours passed, the cold still shot straight through him, tingling his nerves. He was too much of a California boy for this. Why on earth had he come back to Korea after all this time, much less to the kind of town that reliably got hit hard every winter?

He wondered that for the thousandth time, but still here he was. No one had even asked him to drive around and help strangers out of the snowbanks caused by last night’s blizzard; he’d chosen to do that on his own. He had no room to complain about Korea, the cold, or the absence of California comforts. These were his choices, even if he sometimes couldn’t fully grasp why he’d made them.

In the distance, Mark could see the shape of some kind of van or bus half-buried in snow. “What’s someone doing all the way out here?” he wondered aloud. He’d saved the area around Eunbae Girls’ High School for last because he didn’t think anyone would be there. School had been cancelled, and the roads leading to it were too winding for it to be designated as a shelter zone. Anyone who couldn’t get home had stayed at the Yongbae Boys’ High School—Mark’s alma mater and current workplace—or the community center across town.

He approached the van slowly in his car. At first he thought it had been abandoned, but then he noticed a figure crouching by one of the wheels, digging snow out with the flurried motions of a squirrel burying a nut.

Mark stopped his car and opened the door. “Hey, I’ve got a snow blower in my trunk,” he called out to the stranger. “I’ll help you with that.”

The stranger struggled to his feet. His legs looked stiff with the cold, and he wasn’t adequately dressed for the weather in khaki pants and white tennis shoes. He didn’t even have a scarf. When he turned to Mark, his cheeks were wind-reddened and his nose was running. He looked to be about Mark’s age—fortyish, with wire glasses and a wind-blown head of dark hair.

“Thank God,” the stranger said. “This is a rental, and I’m already overdue in getting it back. I tried to call a plow, but-”

“There’s been outages all over town. Have you been stuck here long?”

The stranger nodded towards the high school building. “I had to stay there overnight. I was driving back our student council from an event last night, and hit a snow drift and got stuck.”

Mark’s eyes widened. “Wait, are the students still in the school? Are you all OK? Did you have enough to eat? Was there heat?”

The stranger waved his hand. “The kids are fine. I was able to drop them off at the community center before this happened. Then I came back here to drop off the van in the lot and pick up my own car, but I underestimated how bad the roads would be.”

“Christ. Were you able to hold up in the school OK?”

“Yeah. I slept in the nurse’s office. Could have been a lot worse.”

“I’ll see about getting the van out. When I’m done, I can get your car.”

“That would be amazing. Glad you showed up. I was about ready to give up and walk home.”

“And how many miles is that? You’re a teacher, right? Don’t you know your basic survival skills?”

“Pardon? I’m sorry, but it’s a little hard to hear you through your scarf.”

Mark grabbed his scarf, pulling it off. “Here, you take it. You need it more than me, anyways.”

The stranger stared at him, his expression suddenly frozen in a look of shock. “Wait…” he said after a moment. “Mark?”

Mark blinked. “Huh? You know me?”

“You’re really him? Mark Tuan?” The stranger(?) took a step back, looking truly shocked, as if he’d seen a ghost.

“Yeah, that would be me,” Mark said, scratching his head.

“I…I can’t believe it. What are the chances?” The stranger shook his head sharply and smiled at Mark tentatively. “You probably don’t remember me, but we went to school together. I was two years below you. We never really talked, but you really stood out back then, so I knew who you were.”

“Oh,” Mark said, processing this surprise. He’d never actually thought about the possibility of running into old classmates when he’d come back. He was forty-five—high school felt like ages ago, and other than his closest friends, who’d all moved to bigger cities after college, he didn’t really remember the other kids at the boys’ school that vividly or have any idea what they would look like as middle-aged men.

“What’s your name?” Mark asked. “I hope I don’t sound rude for forgetting.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m Park Jinyoung.”

“Park Jinyoung,” Mark repeated. Once he said it out loud, he recognized it. “No, wait, I remember you. You were a family friend of Jaebum’s, right?” Jinyoung was right that they’d never interacted, but Jaebum had definitely pointed him out to Mark on campus once or twice. Not enough for Mark to recognize him immediately, but now that he thought about it, the distinct ears matched his fuzzy memory.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Jinyoung said. “Jaebum hyung and I go way back. He didn’t say anything about you being in the area, though. But I guess he wouldn’t, since you and I don’t really know each other.”

“That, and me being here was a bit unplanned. I was actually on the website for Yongbae Boys’ High School for nostalgia reasons, and saw that they had an opening for an English teacher. I just kind of jumped on it without putting too much thought into it.”

“Wow, so you’re teaching at our old school? I’m surprised I didn’t hear about it. Usually the boys’ school administration keeps in pretty good touch with the girls’ school. Maybe they’re just bitter about our higher college acceptance rates and test scores last year. No offense.”

“None taken.” Mark suddenly shivered. Until now—for the first time all day—he’d actually forgotten about the cold. “Hey, I should get to work on snow blowing before it decides to start snowing again.”

Jinyoung glanced back at the van as if he’d forgotten it entirely. “Right. I’ll get out of your way.”

It was time-consuming work. Jinyoung had really driven the van in deep. The roads and visibility around the girls’ school were really shoddy for such a high-traffic area, which made this kind of thing inevitable in bad weather. It was lucky there were no trees around to run into, and that the students had gotten home safely and hadn’t gotten stranded along with their teacher.

Once the van was out, Mark shut off the blower and stretched out his tired limbs. Jinyoung glanced at his phone. “I think the rental company will still be open,” Jinyoung said. “I really need to get this back. I don’t know if the school will cover the late fees.”

“I can drive along with you in my car so you won’t end up stranded after you turn it in,” Mark said. “But if I do, I won’t be able to take care of your car in the parking lot. It’ll be evening by then, and I’d rather not drive on these roads unless it’s daylight.”

“That’s fair.” Jinyoung chewed his lip. “The van is the higher priority for me.”

“I can drop you off at home after we drop it off. We can worry about your car tomorrow.”

“All right, that works. Hopefully I don’t run into more snowbanks on the way to the rental agency.”

“I’ll spot you. Drive cautiously.”

Mark returned his snowblower to the trunk and got back in his car. Well, that was an interesting turn of events, he thought. Running into an old schoolmate after all these years. Park Jinyoung, Jaebum’s friend. Huh. It really is a small world after all.

0

Mark wasn’t all that surprised when there was no staff at the rental agency when they arrived. Like a lot of local businesses, they’d taken a day off until everything was properly cleared of snow. Luckily, Jinyoung was finally able to get in touch with them by phone, and they told him to leave the van in the lot, and they’d finalize payment and returning the keys tomorrow without adding any late fees.

“You know what?” Mark said suddenly when Jinyoung got in his car to go home. “I haven’t eaten in hours. Want to grab a bite?” He definitely didn’t want to go home and cook, and he wasn’t sure his stomach could wait until after Jinyoung had been dropped off to eat. “Looks like that place across the street is still open.”

“Sure,” Jinyoung said. “That’s the same place I go for drinks in the evening, and they’ve got decent food. I’m pretty hungry myself.”

“Were you able to eat anything at the school?”

“Yeah, there was some stuff in the teachers’ lounge. Probably belonging to my coworkers, but we won’t mention that.”

Mark pulled the car over across the street. He hadn’t yet familiarized himself with the local drinking establishments—when he’d left this city years ago, he’d been too young to drink, and what he had drunk back then had been filched from siblings, both his own and his friends’. This particular bar looked like a bit of a hole in the wall, but a cozy, rather old-fashioned one. Definitely the kind of place popular with older working adults like them rather than young people. Which was perfectly fine with him. Maybe it was the whole teaching at a high school thing, but Mark was definitely feeling his age these days.

The bartender smiled at Jinyoung when he walked in. “Oh, good, you’re still in one piece.”

“Yeah, though I wound up having to get rescued.” Jinyoung nodded to Mark.

“Oh, right, I saw you out earlier getting cars unstuck,” the bartender said to Mark. “Thanks for that. How about a drink on the house? You really did our community a solid.” He smirked at Jinyoung. “You’ll still have to pay, though.”

“What if I was going to buy his drinks?” Mark interjected quickly. If anyone deserved a drink on the house, it was Jinyoung. Mark couldn’t imagine hunkering down in an empty high school in the middle of a blizzard.

“All right, all right. Give me your order, it’s on me just this once.”

Jinyoung found them a table in the corner, away from the drafty front window. “So you came back to Korea ahead of the start of the school year this past March?” he asked Mark when they’d taken their seats. “You’re pretty settled in if you even have a snowblower.”

“I hadn’t forgotten what winters were like here. And I’m not willing to get up at ungodly hours to shovel my car out.”

“Were you living back in California until now? Must be quite a change to be back.”

“You knew where I was from?”

Jinyoung smiled faintly. “Yeah. You were the only foreigner at Yongbae at the time. Everyone knew where you were from. Plus you kind of made a stir when you left, too. Remember Heeyeon?”

“Oof, not my proudest moment,” Mark winced. Heeyeon had been his girlfriend, who he’d pretty much dumped without a second thought when he graduated. He’d wanted to go back to the States, and she had gotten into Seoul University and wasn’t about to give up that opportunity. Breaking up was pretty much a given, but he’d been a little too indifferent about the whole thing and came across looking like an unfeeling jerk. Which was fair. He had been a bit of a jerk back then, like your typical teenage boy. Not that this was a good excuse for his behavior.

“Is she still around?” Mark asked. “I’m not going to run into her, am I?”

“Do you want to?” Jinyoung asked curiously. “That would be very romcom—rekindling the old flame.”

“No, I’m good. She’s probably married by now, I’m sure.”

“Yes, I think she is. Anyways, she doesn’t live around here anymore.” Jinyoung’s eyes strayed to Mark’s hand. “You’re not married?”

“I wouldn’t have been able to just uproot my life and come here if I was.” Mark took a sip of his beer, then cleared his throat. “Divorced.”

“Ah. Sorry for bringing it up.”

“No, it’s OK. It just kind of fizzled out.” He wasn’t sure that was the right word for it. What had happened felt a lot more like a mid-life crisis for both himself and his ex-wife, minus the having an affair part. The had never been bad, and they’d never fallen in love with anyone else. They’d both just realized the life they’d imagined for themselves when they’d gotten married hadn’t materialized, and they weren’t fully satisfied with what had resulted instead.

For Mark, who’d dreamed of getting into editorial modeling after dabbling in it as a high schooler in Korea, he’d burned out early in his career after facing a lack of opportunities for Asian men. He’d been initially optimistic about shifting gears to talent management in his 30s, but fifteen years later, he felt even more burnt out as the industry flooded with the products of nepotism. 80% of the agency roster filled with influencers and socialites who treated him like he was a nobody. Even worse, in a world ruled by people like them, he was a nobody. Not a day went by where Mark didn’t question his worth. He’d fallen so far from his dreams, and had nothing to show for it but a fractured sense of self and not a single iota of faith in the industry he’d staked his whole future on.

His ex, who’d been coasting at a software company that refused to promote her, had at least some idea of what she wanted to make her life something she could be happier with; the problem was that Mark didn’t see the same things for himself. In fact, he didn’t really see anything. He didn’t know what he wanted now, and that was the problem.

So he’d gone back to Korea, his form of going back to square one. Teaching had never been on his life roadmap in the past, but the one thing he’d enjoyed about his agency job was mentoring, on the rare occasion he had a talent that wasn’t so far up their own that they couldn’t see when they needed guidance. He’d thought it was worth a try, if that was how he could easily get his footing back in Korea. He’d been a cocky little back in the days he’d lived there, but he’d also felt sure of himself, like the world was his oyster to crack open. He wanted to take that feeling back, if only he could find it again.

Mark shook his head, clearing away the bitter thoughts. “What about you?” he asked Jinyoung. “I don’t see a ring on your finger.”

Jinyoung laughed nervously, darting his eyes away. “Me? Ah, I don’t think marriage is really in the cards for me. Probably never happening.”

Oh? Mark studied Jinyoung’s evasive expression. This was definitely not the marriage response you got from someone who was joyfully committed to staying uncommitted, or the bitter kind of response you’d get from incels who wanted to get married but were too toxic for women to deal with. Actually, it was rather like the responses he’d get from his gay and lesbian friends about dating before they were comfortable coming out.

There was no way he was stupid or rude enough to ask Jinyoung outright, though. It wasn’t his business. If Jinyoung wanted him to know, he would have said so.

“Anyways, it’s been pretty good so far, being back,” Mark said, going back to the original subject. “A lot of things have changed, but a lot of things haven’t. Some of the graffiti in the boys’ locker room at the school is the same as when we went there.”

“Please tell me the running tally of who would and wouldn’t sleep with their clone isn’t still carved into the back of that one locker.”

“It’s still there. Team Would-Sleep-With-Their-Clone is winning.”

“Which team were you on?”

“Are you kidding, Jinyoung? I was hot as in high school. I’d tap that.”

“Just high school? Your looks haven’t changed all that much, you know. I was able to recognize you for a reason.”

Mark ran his fingers through his hair self-consciously. He knew he was still fairly attractive, but he was a bit sore about the gray hairs that were appearing, and the fact that his face showed his exhaustion way more than it used to. Between the two of them, he thought Jinyoung had aged better—he was bright-eyed and fresh faced, at least, though Mark didn’t really remember his younger face well enough to compare.

“I was Team Wouldn’t-Sleep-With-My-Clone for the record,” Jinyoung said.

“Why not?”

“Clone-Me would absolutely harshly critique my performance and about it regularly.”

Mark laughed. “I wonder how many more years that tally will go. Wouldn’t it be great if our classmates’ great-grandchildren got to continue the clone ing debate?”

“By then, clones might actually be a thing and this debate a legitimate moral issue,” Jinyoung chuckled. “I’m glad I’ll be too old or too dead to care.”

“Hey now.” Mark lifted his glass. “Here’s to a long and happy life for us both. We’re not all the way over the hill yet.”

Jinyoung grabbed his glass and took a deep drink. “So, we’re close to the end of the school year. Are you planning on staying in Korea?”

Mark nodded. He’d wondered this himself a few months ago. He didn’t feel any more fulfilled than he had back in the States, even though he didn’t dislike his job and got along well with his students. All the same, he didn’t like the thought of giving up so soon. He’d told his family he’d give it another year, and if he didn’t feel any happier, he’d reevaluate his life then. Again.

“Yeah, that’s the plan,” he said.

“That’s great,” Jinyoung said. “You know, I don’t have many…acquaintances…outside of work these days. We could…network. Since we’re both teachers and all.”

He seemed hesitant to suggest that they should be friends. Mark didn’t blame him for that. Friendships were harder when you were an adult. Mark didn’t even have kids, and still he’d found making plans and actually following through with them more inconvenient than not.

“Sure,” Mark said. “I’m genuinely surprised we never managed to run into each other before now.”

“Minus coming here, I’m a homebody,” Jinyoung said apologetically. “And I spend admittedly way too much time at school. I’m the faculty advisor for the student council, and I try to attend all their meetings and functions.”

“How do you like it?” Mark definitely hadn’t been the student council type in high school. He wasn’t even sure what the student council even did.

“I love it, honestly. I was secretary back in the day. But the students on the current council are something else, at least for the girls’ school. They’re so driven.”

“I don’t really know much about the council for the boys’ school. I know the President, of course…”

“Jongmin? He’s a great kid. Previously, our council did a lot of joint work with the boys’ school, but nowadays…” Jinyoung shrugged. “I don’t know, I think something must be going on between the administrations of our two schools. We usually do a joint pre-graduation celebration event, but apparently that’s not happening this year either. The girls are really disappointed about it.”

“I bet. I remember being that age. We all used to live for events with the girls’ school. For the guys without sisters, it was the only time they really even got to talk to girls. And the pre-grad event…” Mark frowned. “Oh yeah, that was when I broke up with Heeyeon, huh. Maybe not such a great memory.”

“My classes’ wasn’t so bad. We threw a nice party at the community center. I think some people got successful confessions in before we left for college. Anyways, it’s a real shame it’s not going to happen jointly this year. The girls’ council is planning a smaller scale event for just Eunbae students, but they’re not all that excited about it.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll help them make it fun, somehow.”

They stayed at the bar a little over an hour, drinking, eating, and chatting. Though they weren’t technically old friends, Mark found it incredibly easy to talk to Jinyoung based on the connections they shared. It was nice to spend an evening like this, he realized. He really needed to get out more. Maybe Jinyoung was good motivation to start.

When they’d finished eating, Mark drove Jinyoung home. He lived about five minutes away, in a small place near a park with a children’s playground.

“Here, I’ll give you my number so you can call me tomorrow,” Mark said. “I’ll drive you out to get your car.”

“Thanks. You really are a godsend.” Jinyoung input Mark’s number into his phone and sent him a confirmation text. “I’m seriously grateful for all your help today.”

“Any time. See you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow, then.”

0

First thing after breakfast, Mark drove Jinyoung back out to the girls’ school. The snow had melted a little, so it was much easier to clear out the lot and get Jinyoung’s car out.

“You should make sure a professional plow is called out here later today,” Mark advised. “The school week will be here before you know it, and I’d hate for any of your students to get stuck.”

“I’ll do that,” Jinyoung said. “And in the meantime, I’ve got a lot of errands I need to catch up on now that I’ve got my car back. Thanks again for this.”

“Of course.” Mark put his blower back in his trunk. Unlike yesterday, he didn’t really have a reason to linger around any longer. It surprised him a little that he wished he had an excuse to stay and chat. Usually he relished spending his days off by himself. “So I’ll see you around?”

“Of course.” Jinyoung looked for a moment like he wanted to say something more, but stopped himself. “See you around, Mark.”

I wonder what he was going to say, Mark thought as he got back in his car. And I wonder if we are actually going to see each other around. I’ve been here since March, and this my first time seeing him.

Well, he had his number, and knew where he went for drinks in the evening. If Mark wanted to see him again, it wouldn’t be hard. It would be nice to finally have a friend here, he thought.

When he got home, he called Jaebum.

“Wow, look who’s finally talking to me,” Jaebum snarked when he picked up. “You know, you call me even less now that you’re in Korea than you did before.”

“Sorry. If I hear your voice, it makes me long to see you in person and I don’t have time to make that drive with my work schedule.”

“Seriously?”

“No.” He wouldn’t mind seeing Jaebum again—it had been a few months—but he certainly didn’t long to see his face. “By the way, guess who I ran into?”

“Uh…your high school ex-girlfriend?”

“Heeyeon? You don’t even remember her name?”

“Nah, why should I? Ancient history.”

“Jinyoung remembered.”

“Jinyoung? As in Park Jinyoung? Wait, are you saying the person you ran into is Jinyoung?”

“Yeah. We kinda live in the same town now. You should have mentioned.”

“I didn’t think you would even know who he was,” Jaebum said defensively.

“I don’t know him know him, but I wouldn’t have minded the connection before now. I mean, you know he teaches at the girls’ school and I teach at the boys’ school, right?”

“Right…” Jaebum sighed. “To be honest, I didn’t think it’d be a great idea for you two to meet.”

Mark drew back in surprise. “Why not?”

“Being honest, he hated you in high school.”

“H-Hated me?” Mark was so taken aback he didn’t know what to say for a moment. “Really? He didn’t give any indication of that when I talked to him.”

“Well, it’s not like he was going to say that to your face. He’s a good guy.”

“What reason would he have? We didn’t even really know each other back then.”

“Yeah, but you were considered a popular kid or ‘insider,’ whatever the kids call it these days. The underclassmen knew all about you.” Jaebum cleared his throat. “To be fair, rather than hating you per se, I think he was just grossed out by you and Heeyeon.”

“Grossed out?” Mark felt a little wounded. “Were we that sappy or something? It’s not like PDA was an issue since we went to different schools.”

“I think it’s more that he thought you were really Barbie and Ken-ish. Like all fake perfect and matchy matchy and frankly way too self-important about how cool and enviable every should think you were. I know it sounds like a weird thing to hate people for, but Jinyoung really used to have a complex about happy couples when he was younger.”

“Oh. Well, Heeyeon was really into couple stuff, wasn’t she? I went along with it because that’s what makes teenage girls happy. I didn’t mean to be gross about it. But yeah, I guess we were a little…” He trailed off. Now that he thought about it, he and Heeyeon had definitely overacted their relationship when other people were around. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend back then was like a status symbol with their classmates. Dating Heeyeon had given him a certain cachet with the other boys. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t take advantage of that.

“Well, I really shattered that image when I dumped her so unceremoniously, huh?” Mark said. “His impression must have gone from bad to worse. But he was really friendly when I met him, I promise. Whatever happened back then is water under the bridge. I may have been a ty kid, but I’m an OK adult.”

“Yeah? Anyways, Jinyoung can be a little sensitive, so I just worried he’d hold onto the bad feelings from back then. But if he’s over it, that’s fine. I’m sure you two can bond over your teacher thing. Speaking of which, isn’t it almost graduation season?”

Mark stayed on the phone with Jaebum another twenty minutes catching up. It had been an enjoyable call overall, but he began to feel a little bit moody after it ended. Was it really possible Jinyoung had hated him back then, and was only pretending to be happy to see him back in Korea because it would be rude to act otherwise?

The only way to know was to ask, and like hell was he going to do that. His dignity was far more precious to him now than it had ever been back then, and putting Jinyoung on the spot would hardly force him to be honest.

If I can’t ask him, all I can really do is get ahead of any lingering bad impressions and make him change his mind, Mark thought. If he realizes I’m pretty decent nowadays, any old bad blood won’t matter, right?

He hoped so. As a teacher, he fully understood how obnoxious arrogant and self-involved high school boys could be. He had no doubt in his mind that he had been very much the same, and couldn’t really fault Jinyoung for being put off by it in the past.

The question was how to show the face of a better man. Going around and digging out cars in his free time was probably a point in his favor. But being divorced and purposeless were probably minus points, which left him in the negative.

He tapped his chin. Jinyoung had been disappointed about the lack of a joint graduation party between Eunbae and Yongbae students this year. Maybe there was something he could do about that. He was sure he could gain points by proving competence and initiative—people like Jinyoung always appreciated those qualities.

Mark cracked his knuckles. This was perfect. He’d been feeling a bit aimless recently. A little image rehabilitation was just what he needed to light a spark.

0

During his lunch break, Mark singled out one of the school administrators, Mr. Hong, in the staff lounge. “Hey, I had something I wanted to ask you,” he began. “I ran into one of the Eunbae teachers over the weekend, and got the impression the relationship between our schools may have soured. Is something going on?”

Mr. Hong groaned. “Don’t look at me. The Eunbae principal was the one who decided to ice us out. Did you not hear about the issue at the girls’ volleyball game earlier this year?”

Mark shook his head.

“There was some kind of hidden camera found in their locker room before one of their games. Fingers got pointed, and it was suspected one of our boys did it up until a parttime janitor confessed. But even though Yongbae was cleared of any involvement, the girls’ school principal decided to shut down all association between Eunbae and Yongbae until better ‘behavioral and moral protocols’ could be agreed upon for joint activities. Which, fine, but who is making these protocols? Are we forming a committee? No one knows, because Eunbae administration isn’t talking to us. All we get is radio silence.”

“Whoa. So you’re saying there’s been no interaction at all since then? I thought our schools shared a few tutoring and extracurricular resources.”

Mr. Hong sighed. “They seriously won’t even let us bus clubs to the same regional competitions. It’s been a real pain. I know incidents happen, but it’s all way too excessive. What are we teaching our kids? That girls and boys shouldn’t interact at all? Are they even going to know how to talk to each other when they’re older? What about our declining birth rate, huh?”

“Hmmm.” Mark saw an opportunity with this. A potentially time-consuming and laborious opportunity, but one he was willing to take if it made him look like a responsible, sensitive man to those who may doubt him. “Well, if no one’s stepped up to work on protocols, I’m more than happy to take the lead. My acquaintance at Eunbae is Park Jinyoung, the student council advisor. What if we got together to iron something out between us, with the support of our respective student councils? I think it would look even better to the Eunbae principal if the students have input, especially the girls.”

Mr. Hong whistled. “You sure you want to do that? You’re not even our own student council advisor.”

“Yes, but Mrs. Kim is going to be having her baby soon. I don’t want to pile work on her at this stage. I don’t mind helping. I think the students really want to be able to have their pre-graduation event together.”

“Hmm…that’s not a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all.” He rubbed his chin. “Listen, I’ll get in touch with my counterpart over at Eunbae and get a feel for how open their principal will be. If she gives us the green light, it could really open the doors to solving the issue.” He patted Mark on the back. “I’m impressed, newbie. I thought you were a bit of a loner, but you seem like a real go-getter after all. Great show of initiative.”

Mark grinned. Perfect. Now let’s see if I can get Jinyoung to think so.

0

A few days later, he found himself chaperoning the president, vice president, secretary, and treasurer of the Yongbae Boys’ High School student council to the community center, the designated neutral zone for this first peace meeting with the girls’ school student council. Jinyoung and the four representatives of the girls’ council were already inside when he opened the door to the meeting space they were using, all seated on the left side of the table.

“Thanks for coming, Mr. Tuan,” Jinyoung said, quite formally though his smile was as warm as ever. “Please take a seat.”

“Thanks for meeting with us, Mr. Park,” Mark said. “We’re looking forward to working together.”

The girls and boys of the councils exchanged polite nods. Definitely no dangerously uncontained hormones to be found in this room. Mark was pretty sure college ranked #1 in the hearts and minds of most present for the time being.

“I want to start by saying that the incident earlier this year with the hidden camera was horrifying, and should be taken very seriously,” Jinyoung said once everyone was settled in. “I know a lot of us are unhappy with the resulting separation between our schools, but I hope we can at least acknowledge that those kinds of incidents are a sad reality of our culture and deserve to be addressed.”

Everyone nodded. Mark was grateful for the boys for not trying to protest that the particular incident hadn’t been their fault. He didn’t really know this particular bunch of boys all that well other than the president, Jongmin, but they didn’t seem like brats, which was promising.

“With that being said, I think we should start by hearing from the girls, since Eunbae was the one directly impacted by what happened,” Jinyoung said. “Do you have any thoughts on what kind of protocols would make you feel comfortable and safe at joint events?”

One of the girls raised her hand. “I wouldn’t say I ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe, exactly,” she said. “I always had a good time having events with Yongbae students in the past. I just want to know that if someone says something and inappropriate and gross to me and I tell a teacher about, the teacher will actually do something about it instead of saying ‘oh, that’s just what high school boys are like’.”

“That’s a good point,” Jinyoung said. “Do you think it would help if there were one or two designated teachers you could bring issues to, teachers you know you can trust?”

Two of the girls immediately pointed to Jinyoung. Jinyoung smiled sheepishly. “You know I’m always happy to help.”

One of the other girls interjected. “But I think there’s two issues with that. One being that if someone thinks we’re a tattletale, we’re only going to be harassed more. Two being is that most of the truly gross stuff doesn’t happen to our face. It happens behind our back, when guys are talking about us to their friends. And I don’t really think most guys are going to report their friends for being ist pigs.”

Mark could feel the student sitting next to him bristle upon hearing ‘ist pigs,’ and knew he had to get ahead of it so a conflict didn’t break out so soon in the meeting.

“I’m glad you brought that up,” he said quickly. “I don’t think people realize how that kind of gossip contributes to a bad atmosphere, even if it’s just happening ‘between friends.’ When I was at school, I remember some of the guys came up with a ranking list of the most attractive girls at Eunbae. It seemed like innocent fun to them, and they weren’t planning to show it to the girls, so they thought ‘no harm done,’ right? Except it leaked out, and it hurt a lot of feelings, and creeped a lot of other people out.” He turned to the student next to him, the one who had bristled. “It’s harmful no matter who’s doing it, too. I mean, none of you would like to be officially ranked as the ugliest boy at Yongbae, right?”

His response seemed to work. “Yeah, I don’t mind if someone wants to think that about me,” Jongmin said. “But I definitely don’t need the whole class confirming it”

Jinyoung also nodded eagerly. “I think that’s the key to all of this. The Yongbae boys deserve their dignity. The Eunbae girls deserve the exact same thing. And we teachers need to support you in facilitating that. I completely understand your concerns about being harassed for tattling, Sooyi. Do you have any ideas about how we could deal with that?”

Over the next hour and a half, they brainstormed and jotted down their ideas to build a framework for the school administrations. Mark was relieved by how well the two councils worked together once they got the ball rolling. At the end of the day, everyone just wanted to be able to interact and intermingle like regular teenagers in a good environment for both sides, and they were willing to do the work to make that happen.

“This really looks promising,” Mark said as they began winding down. “Jin—ah, Mr. Park—do you think the administration will be satisfied with this as a start?”

“I’m not going to make any promises, but I will promise to advocate for this as much as I can.” He grinned at the students. “You should really be proud of yourselves. I think what we have so far is fantastic.”

“But it’s only a month and a half until graduation,” Jongmin pointed out. “Do you really think they’ll approve anything in time for us to have an event together?”

“We’ll see what we can do. But if you think about it, we have a higher chance of making that happen now than we did before, right?”

This coaxed some smiles all around. Mark had gone into this trying to impress Jinyoung, but now he felt himself being impressed. Mark didn’t know if Jinyoung had always wanted to be a teacher, but that he’d become one was God’s calling. He was clearly good at his job, and the girls in the student council clearly adored him. Mark couldn’t help but admire him for it.

Both Jinyoung and Mark hung around to make sure all the kids had a way home. When they were all gone, Mark loosened his tie. “Phew,” he said. “That actually went well.”

“Thanks in part to you,” Jinyoung turned to him. “I heard you were the one who arranged for all this. I’m seriously touched that you went the extra mile for this.”

“Well…” Mark scratched his head, feeling suddenly abashed. “I just gave it a nudge, you know? All I really did was figure out what was going on behind the scenes for you so we could get around that obstacle.”

“So you’re the humble type nowadays?” Jinyoung’s smiled widened. “Don’t make light of your part in this. You really did a great thing for these kids. And honestly…some of the best ideas we had came from you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I was expecting you to do fine with the guys, but you actually related well to the girls’ perspectives, too. That’s not always easy for the male teachers to do.”

“I have sisters. And I’d like to think I’ve learned how to be more sensitive to women than when I was a teenager. But I’ve really got nothing on you. They really look up to you, huh?”

Jinyoung shrugged. “I guess.”

“Now who’s being humble?”

“Always have been.” Jinyoung gathered together their notes from the meeting. “Um, Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“The truth is, Jongmin was right about the deadline here being tight. If we’re going to have a joint event, not only are we going to have to get this approved, but we’re also going to have replan and rebudget the event itself. Both the girls and the boys have already come up with plans for separate events, so it’ll be a real scramble changing those plans.”

“Right…” Mark frowned. “Is it at all doable this late in the game?”

“I think it would help if you and I come up with the basic groundwork for a joint event ahead of time. That way, if it gets approved, it’ll be less for the students to do, and if it doesn’t get approved, they won’t have gotten their hopes too high. But…” He looked a bit uncertain now. “That would involve us putting in work outside of our normal work hours. I don’t really want to ask that of you.”

“Hmm, about that.” This could be a good chance to elevate himself even higher in Jinyoung’s good graces, now that he thought about it. He was sure he’d already brought his approval score out of the negative, but a little cushion wouldn’t hurt. “If we go back to that bar you like and get a start on it over a couple of beers, I don’t think I’d mind.”

“Oh? Perfect. I still owe you for last time, so it’s my treat.”

“But our drinks were comped last time. You don’t owe me.”

“They were comped because of you. You can pay next time. There’s no way we’re going to finish this in one day, after all. No arguing. I’ve got this round.”

“OK, OK. I’ve got you next time, then.”

0

One night at the bar together quickly turned into five. Part of it was because there was a lot of work to do if they wanted to make a joint event a feasible possibility. The girls’ planned event wasn’t even remotely similar to the boys’ event—the girls had planned for an event at the ice rink, while the boys had planned to rent out a bowling alley. But part of it was also because Mark wanted to keep coming back regardless.

It was nice having a drink after work. It was nice having a friend to talk comfortably with. He’d forgotten how much he’d missed it. He’d lived for hanging with his friends in high school and college, but when adulthood had hit, he’d replaced most of those moments with time with his wife. He didn’t regret spending time with her, of course, but he was realizing now that it had been a mistake cutting friendship out entirely. He’d needed his own life, too.

“So I’m all for choosing a new location,” Mark said. “But can we strike the gymnasium off the list? No one’s going to get amped for an event on school grounds.”

“But it is low-budget, and we won’t have to get special permission,” Jinyoung protested.

“Jinyoung.”

“Fine, fine.” He crossed it off the list. “Should we narrow it down more? I still think the students should have the final say, but it would help to limit options.”

“Agreed.” Mark studied the list. “Maybe we should nix the ski lodge? There’s no way that’ll be in budget.”

“You’re probably right.” Jinyoung absently chewed on the bottom of his pen. “Or maybe we could revise it?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“That one inn, the one on the hill overlooking the park? It’s not luxury by any means, but the kids could use the lobby, and if they want to do snow stuff like sledding or tubing, they could do that, too.”

Mark nodded slowly. “That could work. We’d have to make sure that no one got ideas about using the bedrooms…”

“They’re not going to sell hotel rooms to minors, Mark.”

“There’s such a thing as fake IDs and lying, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung stared at him. “Don’t tell me you…”

“No comment.” Mark was pretty sure he lost a few points for that, but too late now. “But the good news is I’m the kind of hypocritical adult who won’t let today’s youths do what I did in my youth. Maybe we can work out banning our students from everywhere but the lobby and grounds with the proprietor. Make a note of that.”

Jinyoung did so, then set his pen down. “OK, I think that’s enough for now. It’s Friday night, we need to stop thinking about school.”

“Got any plans?”

“Me? Stay at home and read. You?”

Mark shrugged. “Catching up on chores.”

“What exciting guys we are.”

“Well, I’m at least planning on spicing things up in the evening by watching copious TV.”

“Scandalous.”

“I know. I’m such a bad influence.” Mark tilted his head. “Speaking of which, I just thought of something. I’m two years older than you. Why don’t you call me hyung?”

Jinyoung looked stricken. “I…I just thought since you were American and all…I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“Nah, it’s OK, I was teasing. You’ve been a teacher longer than me—I should be calling you sunbae.”

“No, no, the fault was on my end. I apologize, hyung.”

Mark was about to protest that he really had been joking, but now that he heard it out loud, he kind of liked being called hyung. Jinyoung had a youthful look about him, but he was still as much of a middle-aged man as Mark was. It was kind of cute having a grown guy calling him like a big brother. After living so long in America, it had become a novelty all over again.

“No apologies necessary,” Mark said brightly. “Jaebum was right, you really are a good guy, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung ducked his head. “No, I’m not. I’m really not.”

“False modesty doesn’t work on me. I really do respect all that you do. It does my heart good to know someone is capable of growing up so well.”

“Hey now, you’re seriously sounding like an old man now. You may technically be a hyung, but I’m hardly a kid compared to you. It’s just two years.”

“Just wait until you’re forty-five. The back pain is like a ten-year difference on its own.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes. “Well, this old man is getting a bit drowsy. Want to call it a night, hyung?”

The ‘hyung’ again made Mark soften. “All right, all right. Thanks for the hard work.”

They walked out to the parking lot together. “I think I’ll hear back from the principal on Monday,” Jinyoung said. “Whatever way this goes, I’m proud of what we’ve done so far.”

“Me too,” Mark agreed. “Thanks for bringing me along for the ride.”

“Along for the ride? You’re the co-captain here.” Jinyoung waved goodbye. “See you Monday?”

“Sure thing. Until then.”

0

On Monday, Mark received a text from Jinyoung around lunch time: WE GOT THE GREEN LIGHT!!

Mark almost leapt out of his chair. He’d been hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. He didn’t know the Eunbae principal well, but he’d assumed anyone who so abruptly cut off the entire boys’ school wouldn’t be willing to be flexible. He was happy to be wrong. He also got the feeling Jinyoung had done additional work on his own to smooth the process. Whatever the case, it had worked.

After school, he practically broke down the student council door in his excitement. The faculty advisor, Mrs. Kim, looked so shocked that she’d instinctively wrapped a protective arm around her pregnancy bump. “Mr. Tuan…?”

“The Eunbae administration approved our protocols,” he crowed. “We’re clear for a joint event!”

The boys whooped and high fived one another. “We gotta get planning, then!” Jongmin said hurriedly. “I need to call the girls’ council.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Mark said. “I’ll be seeing Mr. Park this evening. We’ll reserve the room in the community center and schedule another meeting. We’ve already been drafting some event ideas and potential budgets for everyone to look at.”

“That’s very thorough of you, Mr. Tuan,” Mrs. Kim said. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“We’ll definitely need a hand with setting up transportation and catering when it comes to that point. But I’ll be happy to step up for event set up and clean up. I don’t want to put any undue strain on you.”

Mark felt a new burst of energy as he drove to the bar to meet Jinyoung. It was strangely satisfying, having been part of a successful mission. It had been a long time since he’d felt anything like this. He rather enjoyed it. Maybe this was a sign that he needed to get involved in something in the long term, something to keep him busy and motivated.

As soon as he saw Jinyoung, Mark threw an arm around his shoulders. “Look at us! We actually did it!”

“Back at you! Drinks are on me.”

“No, no, let your hyung treat you. I have a lot to thank you for.”

“No more than I have to thank you for.”

Mark shook his head. He didn’t want to say it out loud, but he’d gotten involved because he wanted to improve Jinyoung’s image of him. It was a pretty superficial reason, but he’d gotten a lot more out of it then he’d been anticipating, and he genuinely appreciated that. Meanwhile, Jinyoung would have gotten involved no matter what, without needing such a stupid motivation to drive him.

“Looks like we’re going to have shift our work back to official student council meetings, though,” Mark said. “From now on, the students should take the lead.”

“Right, but…” Jinyoung paused for a moment, then shook his head. “Hyung. I come here most nights anyways. Even if we don’t have any work to do, there’s always a spot for you at my table.”

Mark was surprised by how touched he was by this. “You sure?”

“Oh, come on. I think we’re something like friends at this point.”

“Something like?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been that guy with a lot of friends. That was always you. But…” he smiled tentatively. “This feels like we’re friends.”

“Yeah. It’s not often I have my friendships formally announced to me, though.”

“Sorry.”

“No. It has its own appeal, somehow.” He shook Jinyoung’s shoulder playfully. “Now, how about those drinks, buddy?”

0

In early February, the graduating classes of Yongabe and Eunbae high schools rented out the lobby of the inn for their party, with catered food and carefully curated music indoors, and snow activities outdoors from sledding to snowman building.

Mark kept an eye on the indoor crowd as a chaperone. Seeing the kids like this really took him back. A lot of memories that came back were happy ones, but he felt a little sad at the same time. Looking back, he really wanted to kick himself for making Heeyeon cry to the point where she’d locked herself in the bathroom at their graduation party. What kind of would do that? Even if they were going to break up no matter what, did he really have to do it at the class party?

He hoped that in some small way he’d healed his karma by making this the kind of event where all the kids could laugh and have fun and talk to each other about their high school memories and everything that was still to come. When he saw a couple holding hands in front of the fondue fountain, he wished them well in his heart, with all the sincerity he had.

They’re all probably dreaming big dreams right now, he thought with a sense of wistfulness. I hope the world doesn’t disappoint them. Maybe we should have taught them all that sometimes simple dreams will do in a pinch.

He felt someone bump him on the shoulder, and turned around to lock eyes with Jinyoung. “You’re getting misty eyed, hyung,” Jinyoung said, handing him a bottle of water. “Nostalgic?”

“A little.”

“Me too. Every time I attend one of these things, it makes me remember my own graduation like it was yesterday. I remember that two of the guys snuck in vodka. It made a couple of rounds before they got busted, too.”

“I bet you didn’t have any, Mr. Goody Goody.”

“You’d win that bet. But I did break a chair which was technically community property.”

“How’d you manage that?”

“I just sat on it, and it broke. Thank god it was right at the end of the school year, since everyone started calling my ‘the destroyer of worlds’ after that.”

Mark almost choked on his drink. “Can’t say I’ve ever had a nickname like that.”

“Didn’t Heeyeon and her friends call you America-oppa or something?”

“True, but that’s pretty basic when you think about it. It’s nothing special compared to yours.” Mark exhaled. “It feels kind of weird, you know. It feels bittersweet now, but back then, I wasn’t sad about graduating at all. I just thought, ‘here’s where the real fun starts’ and was in such a hurry to get back to America. I thought Korea was way too strict and judgmental, and that it would be easier to enjoy myself in America.” He hesitated. “Not to make it sound like I wanted to do bad things, or anything. It’s just that the looser expectations felt easier on me. And now I can’t help but wonder what all the hastiness was for. I ran all that way for nothing, and I’m right back here after everything.”

“For what it’s worth, hyung, I don’t think everything before now was for nothing,” Jinyoung said seriously. “Personally, I’m glad you’re here, and I think your students feel the same. If your experiences before now brought you into the lives of your students, it wasn’t for nothing at all.”

“Maybe.” He swished his water bottle back and forth. “What did you see for yourself when you graduated high school, Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung considered. “Not a whole lot, actually.”

“Really?”

“You sound surprised.”

“You’re an intelligent and capable person. Didn’t you think ‘hey, I can go far in life?’”

Jinyoung snorted. “There are a lot of intelligent and capable people in this world. We can’t all go down the same brilliant path. There’s not room for all of us. I just wanted space enough to do the small kinds of things I like to do, like educating the next generation of talented young women and reading way too many books in the process.”

“And you feel like you’ve done everything you wanted?”

“For the most part. I like teaching. I’m happy here.”

“Hmm.” Mark sighed. “Meanwhile I thought I was going to be a top model, my vision of the eternal Mr. Popular Cool Guy, and life has just felt like one big reality check since I graduated. I don’t really feel like I’ve gotten to be the me I wanted to be.”

“Maybe so. But hyung…” Jinyoung’s voice got lower. “You know how I said I’ve gotten to be me ‘for the most part’? There’s still another part of my life I’ve shut out.” He nodded to the same couple Mark had noticed earlier. “I’ve never had that part of life, you know.”

“Ah…” Jinyoung was opening up to him a little, but Mark still knew better than to say a word about his potential uality, particularly not here at a school event. “And…you regret that?”

Jinyoung nodded. “So I’m not really fully myself. And you’re not really fully yourself. But in parts of my life, I get to be exactly what I want to be, and I think the same is true for you. Jesus, you’re so unapologetically yourself sometimes that it makes me jealous. You say what’s on your mind. You’re refreshingly honest. You don’t get bogged down in status quo. Maybe you don’t have everything sorted out the way you want, but I’m pretty sure you’re on the right track.”

“Wow,” Mark said. “Thanks. No one’s ever said that to me before.”

“It’s nothing.” Jinyoung looked a little embarrassed now that he’d said his piece. “A little nostalgia is fine, but I want to see you enjoying this event you put so much work into.”

“Well, when you put it like that…” Mark glanced around him. Everything was going well. Graduation always did carry a note of sadness with it, but in spite of that, so many people were smiling. The future could be a terrifying thing, but it was worth facing. They all knew that. Maybe it was time for him to remember that, too.

“Oh, and Jinyoung?”

“Hmmm?”

“Since you’ve given me a little lecture, I get to say that you shouldn’t count yourself out either. And don’t tell me you’re too old to fall in love. That would mean it’s double game over for an old fart like me, and I would very much like to fall in love again one day.”

“Old fart? Hyung, again, it’s just a difference of two years.”

“That’s not the point. You do think you’re too old, don’t you? Or that you’ve missed your chance?”

Jinyoung sighed, but nodded.

“BS. You’ve only missed your chance when you’re dead.”

“Er…”

“Need me to say it again? If I’ve got a lot of life ahead of me, so do you. Don’t you forget it.”

“OK.” Jinyoung didn’t look fully convinced, but conceded. Mark understood. He knew what it was like to see the whole world for others and just the smallest speck for yourself.

With that off their chests, they turned back to the event. One of the student council girls hurried up to them. “One of the boys brough a karaoke machine,” she said. “Is it OK to turn it on and sing a few songs?”

“Sure, we have permission from the proprietor to be as noisy as we want up until 5,” Jinyoung answered.

“Teacher, you’re a good singer, right?”

“I’m OK…”

“Can you get us started? Some of the girls are really shy about singing. I think it will help contribute to making a good environment, like you promised.”

“Oof, did you just borrow our buzzwords?” Jinyoung cracked his knuckles. “Do kids your age know Stevie Wonder at all?”

“Who?”

“Seriously? Teacher is about to educate you in the joys of the oldies. He was before my time, too, but it’s important to know the classics-”

“Um, Teacher? Can you not be like this outside of school?”

Jinyoung clutched his heart. “Ouch. Should I just do Super Junior or something?”

“They’re old, too. Just do your Wonderful Steve, all right?”

Mark laughed, a lightness returning to his heart as he watched Jinyoung take the mic. There were definitely things worth being regretful for, there was no denying that. But there were things worth being happy for just the same, things not stuck in the past, but unfolding right in front of his eyes. Things that carried traces of the old—a former underclassman singing a song from their parents’ generation—but still held the promise of the future at the exact same time.

0

A/N: Look who's back, back again, sonicboom's back, tell a friend.

No, but I'm quite sorry I've been gone so long, I didn't mean for that to happen! Real life has gotten a bit busy for me, and being busy in most aspects of my life makes me even lazier in my free time T^T This author acknowledges her failings.

That being said, I hope this fic can refill you a little! I really wanted to write a friends-to-lover story, and these days I've liked stories about older gentlemen, probably because I've hit the age where I find the Dads the more attractive charaters in movies and TV shows (no, but, John Corbett as Lara Jean's dad in To All the Boys? I grew up on My Big Fat Greek Wedding, so I suppose it makes sense). I hope you all enjoy it~