All these years, I kept that knife stabbed in my heart... Cause they said, it'll get worst if you pull it out. I kept these feelings for my best friend and hide it cause I'm sure it'll get worst if I said it out loud, if I let it all out... And I might lose the most special person I know.

It hurts, how I witnessed their love story... From the moment I saw her, to the moment I developed these feelings, to the moment I felt sure about it... Till she finally found her happiness...and I'm slowly dying.

Maybe this is the reason why "friendship limits" exists...because if you over look the line, it'll make deep wounds and incurable pain.

"Wendy-a..." her arms suddenly wraps around my waist, her head leaning on my shoulder, as I cook our breakfast... I'm mad, I'm hella mad but I can't show it, not to her. "hmm? What is it" I swallowed those words I want to tell her and started acting normal. "Let's date" She stated, as I almost drop the bowl of oatmeal I'm holding. "I realized that... We're not going somewhere together, these past months. You must be mad at me by now aren't you?" I removed her arms off of my waist as I turn to face her. 'yes I'm mad! I'm really mad... But not because of your time' "mad?! Pft why should I? You and Sooyoung needed more time to catch up with each other right?" I tried to act and talk normal...

"Well yeah... But I owe you a lot of dates now rig-" I aggressively placed the bowl on the table "Seul!" she flinched. "Not dates... Hangouts, drinks, nightouts... Use those words instead" I swallowed those words I meant to say again and instead, I used these normal once. "But you've never had problems about me using that word before" She made her way in front of me. "You're right... You're right Seul but now, now's different. You're in a relationship, you're committed...We're just friends and if others heard you talking to me like this, what would they think about us?! And don't tell me that you don't care, cause now... Now Seul you have to care, we're just friends and we need to be more like friends now... I'm gonna take a shower, you eat first" I rushed to the bathroom before she even find the right word to make me realize things between us again.

I locked the door as my body felt the weight of the situation around us, I fell on my feet while my back lean against the shower wall. I turned the shower on before letting these tears fall down... These tears I'm keeping since earlier this morning, since the moment I saw her today... I guess I can let it all out now.

I placed both of hands on my mouth, covering it tightly so that It won't let any noise escape. I can't let her know how I feel... Not anymore.

*****

'​​​"yes... Sorry Joy but I can't... I can't leave today, let's just have dinner together okay? No.. there's nothing wrong babe, I just need to fix something...yeah I love you too" ​​​​​​

I walked outside the bathroom, seeing Seulgi at the balcony... She must have been talking to Sooyoung. I walked to the table, seeing the bowl still full... She didn't eat it. I sighed as the door creeks open, letting Seulgi walks inside... Currently making her way to me. "I found a place to eat for lunch! Remember that rice cake shop near the university?" She's more smiley than usual, I looked at her and nod "Let's go there later okay??!