As for my self introduction? well I came from a wealthy family, lived a simple life and went to a not-so-expensive schools and universities... why? well... I believe that, people in schools or universities like those are real and true to themselves, and it gives my mindset that impact where I could also be real and true to myself... and I'm right about that thought, cause not long after I introduced myself in my class, I met my now, 5 years friends.

"We should probably eat first before going further, what? I'm hungry" Seulgi's that type of friend who's gonna act like she's not worried or concern about you, so she'll speak like she's always referring to herself... She's not that quiet but also not that loud, she's also careful about her words, judgment and showing her feelings, so you wouldn't know what's really going on inside her mind. Though, she can also be social, joyful and altruistic...and maybe that's, what makes her a bear, Get it? cause bears can be fierce and cute at the same time, and you wouldn't know if they're being friendly or just wanted to play with their food before eating it? but uhm, not that type of eating for Seulgi of course... ahem ANYWAY!

"Oh yeah... we should definitely eaaat! I'm STARVING.. but was that guy checking on me orrr?" and if you have a friend like Seulgi, you definitely might have a friend like Joy. Opposite of Seulgi, she's bold, ferocious, straightforward... in a way, I could say... well yeah, She never pretend to be someone or anyone, because for her... everyone's perfectly different in their own way, and because of that belief... she's also flirty, clingy and tenacious... she's a real chick.

Because of them... my first year wasn't bad at all, but the real fun is when, I joined the music club, not long before my 2nd year in college.

 

"ugh...I'm really, really tired of cameras and make up now" Joy greets us with her usual rant. "oh yeah? then why're you NOW, taking selfies with your food?" Seulgi phlegmatically asked. "Oh well..force of habit" I, then can't help to just laugh to their usual bicker. "anyway.. I can't eat with you guys later, I have an event to attend" Joy mentioned. "yeah right...Joy's theater club and the dance club are having an event tomorrow, together with the music club... so I also can't eat with you tomorrow" Seulgi added.

it's indeed kinda depressing to just eat alone tomorrow, so I speculate that it's better to just eat alone... cause I also have no choice, but to do so. "You should join some clubs Wendy, you're a great singer... music club isn't a bad organization for you." Seulgi suggested. "I'm fine, really... dont worry about me" I stated. And as usual, Seulgi interfere "I'm not worried to you at all, but to my conscience" I chuckled.

 

Before going home that same day... I thought about Seulgi's suggestion, and went to the music club that exact time. Checking if someone's still in there, a voice crept behind me, making me jump out of shock. "Audition is lunch, earlier...not now" I slowly turned around, just to see one of the prettiest girl I've ever seen... "hi- oh I mean I-" I stutter, soon I realized that I'm biting my tongue, out of shyness. "It's almost 7, but I'll let you audition now...I don't want to send you home, when you seemed to be waiting here for that" The girl stated. I simply and FAKELY coughed "Y-yeah.. I-I'll make it quick" Blech... that's the cringes thing I've ever done... at least this year?

I looked around as the single light, lit inside the club was on me.

Some people live for the fortune

Some people live just for the fame

Some people live for the power, yeah

Some people live just to play the game

Some people think

That the physical things

Define what's within

And I've been there before

That life's a bore

So full of the superficial

Some people want it all

But I don't want nothing at all

If it ain't you, baby

If I ain't got you, baby

Some people want diamond rings

Some just want everything

But everything means nothing

If I ain't got you, yeah

Some people search for a fountain

Promises forever young

Some people need three dozen roses

And that's the only way to prove you love them

Hand me the world on a silver platter

And what good would it be

With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all

But I don't want nothing at all

If it ain't you, baby

If I ain't got you, baby

Some people want diamond rings

Some just want everything

But everything means nothing

If I ain't got you, you, you

Some people want it all

But I don't want nothing at all

If it ain't you, baby

If I ain't got you, baby

Some people want diamond rings

Some just want everything

But everything means nothing

If I ain't got you, yeah

If I ain't got you with me, baby, oh, ooh

Said nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing

If I ain't got you with me, baby...

I'm still deleting all the chords out of my system, when she walks up to me, and gave me a piece of paper. "Thanks for auditioning...I would love to see you again tomorrow, together with the professor and the head" the corner of her lips slightly curved. Soon I then realized that I'm now standing alone at the University's entrance, still smiling... wait she's already gone? 

"I- YEAHHHH!! HOOOOO!" I kept shouting, not until "Who's there?!" ! the guard! I simply shook my head and started walking to my dorm.

 

​​​​​​"Aaaand that's what happened" I cheerfully told my friends the start of my love story. "Sooo... did you get her number?" Joy slapped me hard with that question. "I bet she didn't even got her name." Aaaand Seulgi killed me with that question... They're right, I let my emotions ruin everything. I immediately threw my phone lightly on my bed, followed by my body, voluntarily dropping itself on the floor. I managed to pull a pillow from my bed and used it to cover my face... "aaaAHhhhHHH!!!!"

"ahem.. Wendy, we're still here hun" Joy stated, followed by the sound of someone leaving the call. "Seulgi left the call now, so it's just me here hun" she added.

_______

The next day, I prepared myself for the main audition. After our last class before lunch, I'm already on my way to the music club. The moment I stepped my foot inside, other students were the first ones I saw there... then I saw her, I can't help but to mesmerize her beauty, before moving forward. As my body once again, voluntarily move somewhere else...I saw her going my way. "Hi!"  I messed up-"Hey...I'm glad you came" she smiled, AHHHHH SHE SMILED AT ME!!! or maybe not? "Of course I would, why wouldn't I?" I followed that with a nervous laugh. "I actually thought I...scared you yesterday" She lowered her head as she grips on the book she's holding, tighter. "Then let's start again!" I suggested, her face seemed to lighten up as she offers me a hand. "Irene, Irene Bae, this club's secretary" I shook her hand then "I'm Wendy, Wendy Shon, 2nd year student from the faculty of medicine" Introduced myself. 

I actually got accepted to the club, and actually got closer to her.​ Then the first semester ended, thankfully, our connection to each other didn't. We would always talk to each other every night, hangout sometimes... we actually seem to live in two different countries, because of how far, our places were to each other. Soon after five months, We... STARTED DATING EACH OTHER! welp, I got excited there... anyways. We decided to date each other, it's not about why, where nor how, but because we felt like it... It's more tiring to do efforts for someone who have nothing to do with you, you know? but whenever I'm with her, I can be whoever she wants me to be and just be happy about it... everything feels right when I'm with her, or even if she's just around me.

"You know what? now I'm actually curious about that girl" Joy stated. "correction girlfriend" I cleared... no actually I'm just flexing "Okay, this might be the first time I'm gonna say this but, I'm also curious" Seulgi said that made squeal. "Oh.. my GAWDD!! Seulbear, admitted that she's curious about some for the first time!!!" I chuckled. "I'll introduce her to you guys next week.. same place, same time" And by that...we all ended the call.

As I lay on my bed, my phone on my chest, my hands clutching it... I'm actually excited for her to meet them,and them to her... they can be ferocious sometimes, but they were real kind at most of times.

 

The day then finally came. Me and Irene were currently walking to my friends favorite place. Joy immediately went to hug me, as she pull Seulgi with her and in for the hug...Joy then lets us go and looked at Irene, she eyed her up and down, where I could see Irene gulping. "Joy I-" she then jumped again and hugged Irene. "NEW FRIEND!!!" She stated, Irene chuckled before patting Joy's back. "I'm Seulgi, that one's Joy... and you should be Irene" Seulgi stated, followed by a look at me "YES! she's Irene, my one and... ahem...only" I can feel my ears heat up. I then, asked them to eat before they notice.

_________

"And that's how my vacation went" Joy stated, after telling us, like...3? 4? different stories that doesn't sense at all. "That's nice, oh and I don't want to be rude but, I probably should go home" Irene said, as she kept looking at her watch. "I'll send you home" I suggested, but she placed a hand on my right thigh and shook her head, while smiling softly. "are you sure?" She nod "I'm certain" she answered before picking up her bag and leaving the place.. she actually, also tried to pay for her food, but all of us disagree.

I trust her...no matter what or how all of these will go or end, I'll trust her...even if it feels like she doesn't want me at the end of the day, she never call nor text me when the night falls... I'm scared to call it out, Im mostly scared about what consequence will it be. 

And that's how our relationship went... we'll always celebrate our anniversary and monthsary on weekends. We'll have fun, feel free, feel loved... until the sunset reminds both of us that it's time to say goodbye.

Our 3rd anniversary is where I first met her little sister. I remember how she gave me that I-doubt-this-guy look... that is also the first time, she let me drop her home. Her sister's waiting infront of their house.

"oh Yeri, this is Wendy...my girlfriend" Yeri just nodded her head then lets her sister in. I drove home confused by that look after that.

Four years... maybe it's time to move forward? 

It's our 4th anniversary, today I'll ask her to move in... We'll both graduate next year, so I want to be with her while getting to know her better than I do before. But the moment I saw her, was the first time I saw that reaction to her face. I tried to enlighten the situation and asked her to eat somewhere, she gave me a soft smile before giving me her hand. I took her hand and walked with her the rooftop of my dorm's building. 

As soon as she stepped a foot on the rooftop, I clicked the button in my pocket, which turns the light on. I used some tent tools and materials to cover the sunlight...because I'm sure that she's not gonna say yes to a night out date. She looked around, her hands covering , before turning to me and hugging me tightly. Soon we started eating.... we actually had less conversation than usual, though I can feel her glancing to me, a lot. I ignored it and moved forward to the next thing in my list. 

enjoy the made-up-night. As we watch the movie, all I can feel is her looking at me... "Is there something you want to tell me?" I asked, she faintly shook her head and returning the question back to me. That's my chance so I faced her, held both of her hands then "It's been 4 whole years... I've felt nothing but happiness and love when I'm with you, you made me feel those feeling, I have never felt before... experience those things I never knew exist... I would never get tired of getting to know you, I love you Irene... will you move in with me?" She gave me that familiar look, the look that her sister gave me, but she seems more confused... She gently pulled her hands from mine, and held my left cheek softly by her right hand. It's like she's memorizing every corner and details of my face then..."Let's break up" 

I didn't know what happened next... my world seemed to stop as it breaks down into pieces at the same time... what went wrong? 

 

I woke up in my room... I have to get up and go to the University, but it feels rather right to stay here...alone, in my room, on my bed, with my phone...just me. I want to cry till my eyes, my body and my heart feels tired...but nothing's coming out anymore. Then I remember that call from Yeri last night. I quickly changed into something casual and brushed my teeth to remove the alcohol scent from last night. 

I opened the door and "Wanni-" Joy and Seulgi were about to go in "I have to go, I'll talk to you guys later" I stated then rushed to the stairs.

"Oh my god...she seems to be crying all night" for the first time, Joy said those words without her cheerful and sassy behavior, Seulgi then pulled her gently in, for a hug. "She's gonna be okay...she's a tough one" (Third Person's POV) 

_______

I immediately went to the exact address, in the text I got from Yeri earlier... It's a hospital... I had a weird feeling as I walk inside, I asked for Yeri's name on the front desk...what's more shocking is "Oh, Doctor Yeri is waiting for you in her office" The lady stated. "Walk straight through that hall, turn right, you'll se her name there" the lady added. I followed her directions then found Yeri's name on the first room. I knocked before going in. There, I saw Yeri standing near the window. "have a seat" I did exactly what she said Immediately, as I'm eager to know what really happened. "I hate to go around the bushes so I'll say it all at once...Irene's sick, she's ILL..." My heart sunk. "Our parents died when we were young, she's only 15 that time, but she did everything she could to find a job and earn money, so she could put a meal on the table, that will fill our stomachs... She wanted to be a psychologist and I wanted to be a musician... but who knew, that because of her last job, I'd wanted to dream her dream job?" Every word that comes out of , it all seems to hurt something in her... 

"She had her first boyfriend...she didn't love him, but had to date him just so she could afford my school bills... and that monster tried to-" she clutch her fist as she tried to continue her story " her...she managed to escape, she was only 17 by that time...Even if something wrong happened to her, she kept working just to make sure I live a normal life... everything worsened, when she got a new job, waitress... in a club, they gave her decent payment but monstrous treatment. She's harassed... but to keep the job, she let them be, she even had a relationship with her boss, to make everything feel a little right... until one day, she couldn't take it anymore that she leave that place...the night she got home is where the real hell started" she paused and showed me a video.

"because of her savings, we managed to keep our house, when I started tutoring rich spoiled brats, I also managed to buy a cheap CCTV, I only checked the footages after a week... If I didn't bought it, I would never know what hell, my sister had been living all these time. Every night, she hurts herself, when she's sure I'm asleep...she'd hurt herself to remove the memory in her head and just focus on the physical pain... particularly obsessive-compulsive disorder, that turned into major depression...

I graduated psychology when she's 28, I did everything I could to help her... thankfully, everything seems to go well, with the help of therapy and medicines. Then she decided to study again...She kept telling me that she's fine, but when I realized that she's home before it gets dark... I knew she's lying" She paused and showed me the diagnosis.

"But when she turned 30, 2nd year...she seemed to be more cheerful in the morning, but proceed to hurt herself in the dark... I doubted you, the first time I saw you... but I realized how different you were from those bastards, Something about you, changed her...I hope you'll keep loving my sister, and not resent her" She sighed.

(....) 

"I probably should go home" 

"Let's break up" 

"Where is she?" I asked... but then she gave me a letter.

________

That's the last time I heard about her... it's been 15 years and I'm still waiting. For the past decade and half, I made myself better, decent, presentable for her... So when she's finally back, she'll be proud of me, she won't even think twice. From being a med student, I'm now an Idol... Whenever I think of her, I'll write it down and turn it into a song... being a musician helped me too, to be an idol...not to flex too, but I got good voice, myself... hoping that as I sing every song, she's somewhere listening to it. 

Seulgi and Joy are now surgeons we, still talk sometimes, but barely hang out because of our tight schedules.

"Wendy are you ready?" my manager asked. "Yes."

As the audience here in U.S starts to cheer...there's only one person, from the crowd looked clear to me.

Nun gameumyeon deouk seonmyeonghaejineun ge

Eotteon mallodo seolmyeongi an dwaesseo

Yuri wireul honjaseo georeoga

Geudael hokshina apeuge halkka "isn't she supposed to sing Best friend?".... "I have no idea" 

Naega yeogi inneunde

Nareul mollabonayo

Neomu bogo shipeo

Hancham gidaryeonneunde

Soni dachi anneyo

Geunyang meonghani seo inneyo

Annyeong annyeong annyeong Goodbye

Kkumindeutae jakkuman gateun ildeuri

Nareul jogeumsshik muneojige manhae

Jamshinama nareul gieokaejudeon sungan

Gijeok gatasseo jeonbu kkumman gata

Naega yeogi inneunde

Nareul mollabonayo

Neomu bogo shipeo

Hancham gidaryeonneunde

Soni dachi anneyo

Geunyang meonghani seo inneyo

Annyeong annyeong annyeong Goodbye

Shigani jinado byeonchi anneun 

Naman aneun geudaeye jinhan geu hyanggiga

Nal arabonayo nareul chajannayo

Hayake tto bami beonjeogayo

Geudael apeuge han nari jinago ttodashi

Annyeong annyeong annyeong Goodbye

Annyeong annyeong annyeong Goodbye

 

I finished singing the song that's supposed to be the title track of my next album...it's not even done yet, but the words voluntarily came out of my mouth, and finished it... as I'm about to go to her seat, she looked beside her, then carry a young girl, to her chest...she's- 

I shook my emotions and feelings aside and thank the crowd,before going back to the backstage.

_______

Since then, I actually saw her more... but not in a way that we're together, faith seems to be really getting into my nerves... until one day, I felt like visiting my old dorm. It's all so new now, but every memory were still in there... visible.

I walked my way to the rooftop and found a girl standing...It's almost dark now, who in their right mind would-

"MA'AM!" I rushed to the lady, when she suddenly, started hurting herself. "ma'am what's happening!?" she kept digging her nails to her skin as she glides them down, punching and hitting herself... now me. "Irene...?" When I got a clear view of her face, my heart sunk, just like the day I found out about everything. I want to hold her tight, but she thinks the opposite. She tried to get off of my grip and go, but I kept my hold firm, till she got tired of fighting. 

We both drop to the floor. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" it's not the punch, hit, kick that really hurt... but seeing her crying and apologizing for hurting me. I hushed "It's fine...those couldn't even compare to what you might've been experiencing all these years... shh" and comfort her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for not being there when you needed someone...I'm sorry for not being aware when you needed someone to know... I'm sorry" I apologized as her tears wet my shirt.

Now I know, why she decided to build a family, be cause she needed someone to be there, when I couldn't...

 

"It's time to go to bed sweetie" I gently hushed my daughter to sleep...

not every couple or love teams has a happy ever after, at the end of their stories... but NOT ME! I have a happy ending!!

 

​​​​Knowing that she already have a family, and now that we both calm down, I still managed to say "Be with me again" she gently touched my cheek, like how she held it when she broke up with me. "We can't-" I cut her words short "Because you already have a family?" I interfere, but the look on her face, made me think too. "I don't..." She simply replied "Then who's the kid-" The kid...I remember her... she's Yeri's daughter. 

"I'm afraid, I can't be cured... I'm afraid, I'd affect your career... I'm afraid I'd ruin your life, listening to your songs were everything to me, it gives me hope that I could be better... but they kept messing with my head, I can still hear their voice" Her voice breaking... is the most painful sound, I ever heard.

"I don't care, how it will affect my life...I'm not gonna be here, if It's not you...looking and waiting for you, kept me going" I paused and wipe her tears. "Now that you're back, now that I found you, now, that you're here...Nothing matters anymore but you"

Every second of that moment, hurts a lot... knowing that she's been through a lot... couldn't be compared to anything I've experienced while looking for her. Cause after all my hard works... she's finally, back.... I'm finally, home. 

She said yes to me, we immediately got married after a week... don't judge me okay?! It's been 15 years, time to settle. Every night, she'll wake up and hurt herself, its like a habit at this point... after 2 years, her condition slowly gets better, we then decided to adopt... a beautiful girl named Youi. Having Youi in our life, made everything so much better... we gave her love and spoil her with everything, while still showing her the meaning of kindness... 

Now she's already 6, she'll start her 1st grade in middle school tomorrow... as for my beautiful wife, she's been well for 4 years now... 

We celebrate two times on our Youi's birthday, first the day we finally called her our daughters, then the day of being well of Irene. We actually believe that, Youi is the solution to our every problem... every problem is just Youi's one-smile-away. 

"I'll go to bed first hon" Irene stated, I nod and gave her a kiss before letting her go upstairs. As I pull the letter from 10 years ago, all I can think is Irene and Youi... this letter could be filled of answers to the questions, we still can't solve up till now... but I'm certain, that to answer those questions... we have to move forward first, and never look back to our past. 

I threw the torn up letters to the bin outside out house, together with our dim memories. I entered our house and followed my wife to our bedroom, and didn't look back...

Now, as I look to my two most important person. I can say that this isn't my happy ending, because we would have more journeys to come and experience, before our real happy ever after.

 

 

 

 

oh and... Seulgi and Joy aren't a couple...or are they?