The train station is not far. Hundreds of H.O.T. fans are all heading in the same direction, and this means that Donghae has a valid reason to keep holding Hyukjae’s hand. So he does, and he feels like he is floating on clouds.

He doesn’t know what Hyukjae thinks about it.

He risks a quick glance and finds that the other man is looking at him too, his expression unreadable. He’s not glaring at Donghae or pulling away, but he’s not exactly squeezing Donghae’s hand affectionately and twining their fingers together the way Donghae wishes he would.

They get to the station, and Donghae unfortunately has to let go of the other man’s hand to pay for their train fare. Hyukjae puts his hands in his pockets, and Donghae doesn’t know if it’s because he’s cold or because he doesn’t want Donghae to cling to him for the rest of the journey home.

But-

, it really is cold, isn’t it?

The snow has gotten heavier and Hyukjae has no coat on, just his form-fitting suit and thin-soled business shoes. When Kyuhyun had told him Donghae was coming to see him, he must have run down from his office to see what the emergency was, not only leaving his wallet behind, but also his warm coat and scarf. And while the concert venue had been heated, it is ing freezing outside. Hyukjae’s shoulders are hunched and his nose is pink from the cold.

‘Here,’ Donghae says, urgently pulling his own jacket off. He’s only got a t-shirt on underneath but he doesn’t care! If Hyukjae wants it, he can have the t-shirt too! He drapes the jacket around Hyukjae’s shoulders.

‘What are you doing?’ Hyukjae stares down at the jacket and then at Donghae, brows drawing down in confusion.

Donghae smiles foolishly.

‘I’m not cold,’ he says, and it’s the truth; he is feeling all sorts of warm tingles seeing the other man bundled up in his jacket. It’s a very different look for Hyukjae, worn leather instead of anything soft or formal, and it’s definitely doing things for Donghae – but sadly this doesn’t last long, because Hyukjae immediately takes the jacket off and hands it back.

‘I’m not going to look after you when you get hypothermia. Put it back on.’

‘You wear it,’ Donghae insists, pushing it back. Despite the temperature, he knows he looks good in a t-shirt. He knows his chest and his arms are being shown to their best advantage. He hopes Hyukjae will notice, and-

He does.

His eyes skim quickly, guiltily, over the tight fabric and exposed skin. Then he glances furtively around them at the other waiting passengers.

‘Who are you trying to impress?’

‘Nobody,’ Donghae says, and he sort of, really, wants to impress Hyukjae. Hyukjae just shoves the jacket back into his hands and then it’s awkward because Donghae feels like he can’t put it back on right after saying he doesn’t need it. He slings it over one shoulder in an effort to look cool and careless instead, but he’s beginning to lose feeling in his fingers because of the cold.

‘Idiot,’ Hyukjae mutters.

Donghae puts his jacket back on.

The train pulls in then, and they join the throng of concert-goers pressing inside. A girl knocks Hyukjae accidentally with her backpack and Donghae glares at her, putting his arm out to prevent it from happening again. He lightly touches Hyukjae’s back to guide him to a less crowded spot. There’s standing room only in the carriage, but at least it’s warmer.

Hyukjae is looking at him again, and his expression is a little strange. Donghae desperately wants to fill the space between them, so he does it with words, inanely explaining the technical details of the stage, laughing a little at a group of women at the other end of the carriage as they shriek quietly over a distorted fancam on somebody’s phone.

Hyukjae is quiet.

Donghae feels guilty, all of a sudden, for selfishly pulling him away from his work and making him attend a concert that he probably didn’t even enjoy.

‘I’ll walk you home when we get to your stop,’ he says. ‘I’m really sorry, I don’t have enough money with me for us to go for dinner. M-maybe next time?’

‘Next time?’ Hyukjae’s eyes find Donghae’s, and he is frowning a little.

‘Donghae, what- um, what is this?’

Donghae blinks.

‘What’s what?’

‘This,’ Hyukjae says. ‘Taking me to the concert. Walking me home. Wanting to get dinner.’  

‘I- uh-’ Donghae fumbles for words. When Hyukjae says it like that, it sounds a lot like a date. Donghae wants it to be a date. But he’s pretty damn sure that the moment he phrases it like that, Hyukjae will reject him. So it’s sort of an undercover date, where they get to spend time together without any pressure, and in the hope that Hyukjae might like it and agree to an actual date the next time.

Hyukjae is still looking at him, waiting for an answer. Donghae’s never been good under interrogation and it’s on the tip of his tongue to just blurt out because I like you, when there’s a sudden commotion at the other end of the carriage. One of the H.O.T. fans turns to Donghae.

‘Please take our photo,’ she begs, holding out her phone. ‘They just announced a prize draw for posting a selfie on the way home from the concert!’

The women pose together, pointing out their merch and waving their banners enthusiastically for the photo. Donghae hands the phone back, and they huddle over it excitedly, tagging and posting themselves.

‘We should take one,’ Donghae says to Hyukjae, pulling out his own phone and making a silly, kissy face at the camera.

‘No! I wasn’t ready!’ Hyukjae ducks sideways to escape, but Donghae has already taken the photo; himself in the foreground, a bit out of focus, and Hyukjae in the background, the split second before he realized Donghae was taking a selfie, lips parted in surprise, eyes round, hair fluffy, cheeks pink from the cold.

‘Delete it!’ Hyukjae demands. ‘Donghae, I’m serious, don’t you dare post that!’

‘I’ll take another then,’ Donghae says, but Hyukjae pushes the phone away.

‘I’m in my ing work clothes!’

‘I’ll tag you,’ Donghae says, teasingly. ‘What’s your insta?’

‘I don’t have one,’ Hyukjae says. ‘Donghae, I mean it-’

Donghae’s already flicking through the filters to find something cute, tagging himself then posting the pic with a caption ‘HOT!’ and a row of fire emojis. He’s not actually interested in winning any meet and greet, but he very much appreciates the excuse to have taken a pic with Hyukjae.

‘You didn’t post, did you?’ Hyukjae asks.

Donghae puts his phone in his back pocket.

‘Nope,’ he says.

‘Donghae-’

The train makes a stop then, and some of the louder fans leave. There’s room to sit now, if they split up, but Donghae hopes Hyukjae will stay where they are; standing together, shoulders softly bumping with the rattle and sway of the train. There’s still three or four stops until his exit.

Hyukjae doesn’t move away. They travel in companionable silence for a while, watching the other passengers. Hyukjae starts to look sleepy, his face uncharacteristically relaxed and unguarded.

Donghae loves it.

The natural little pout, his round nose which is so different to Donghae’s own, his slow blinks, the effortless way he balances, lost in his thoughts.

Donghae wishes the train ride would last forever.

They are approaching another station when one of the nearby fangirls removes her jacket. Donghae sees that she is wearing the same t-shirt as what he purchased for Henry. It’s quite a slim fit, shaped nicely to her body, and Donghae is suddenly worried that the one he bought will be too small. He decides to point out the girl out to Hyukjae and discretely ask if he thinks the shirt on her would also fit a young man.

And so, as the train slows, he leans in, angling his face so he can whisper in Hyukjae’s ear.

This is where everything goes suddenly and horribly wrong.

Abruptly pulled from his thoughts, Hyukjae gasps and jerks back violently, eyes widening, hands coming up to shove Donghae away. Donghae is startled too and reaches for Hyukjae to reassure him, but Hyukjae has already stumbled back, almost falling in his effort to put more space between them.

‘Hyukjae?’ Donghae’s hands are still stretched out to help, ‘Hyukjae, it’s just me-’

‘Get the away from me!’

‘Hyukjae,’ Donghae tries again, bewildered and frightened. ‘I didn’t mean to- Hyukjae!’

The other man has turned and is pushing through the crowd of people disembarking, just making it through the doors before they close.