*Warning: idk anything about the scheds sa mga univ na ginagamit ko dito. Am just using them kasi feel ko don lang sila bagay huhu pls excuse me nalang.

*I repeat, this is a work of fiction so literally anything is possible.

Ryujin was currently power walking through the parking lot to her car where she can’t wait to blast the ac and just sit there in pure bliss after walking under this absurd heat.

Namiss niya bigla yung pagiba ng mga seasons sa japan.

She leaned back towards the headrest and exhaled in relief. Although mainit parin ang loob ng kotse niya hindi niya ito pinansin dahil nakatapat naman sakanya ang mga aircon.

‘Loco~

Hey!’

Not removing her head from its current position, she blindly swept her hand through her things until she felt what she was looking for.

Lazily bringing it up to her ears, she answered “Hello?”

“San ka?” Bungad agad ng kabilang linya.

“Bakit?”

“Tapos na klase mo?”

“Kakatapos lang. Bakit?”

“Uwi ka na?”

“Sana kaso... Anong balak mo?” Ryujin was starting to get suspicious. Knowing winter, she’s either bored or she has something she needs to do that requires ryujin accompanying her.

“Tara sine” Aya agad ni winter.

“Ngayon?” Kumunot ang noo ni ryujin. “Bat biglaan? Saan?”

“Nag aaya si ning, sa uptown daw”

Ryujin was hesitant in going. Marami siyang reqs na kelangang ipasa by tomorrow pero hindi pa kasi sila nagkikita ni ning simula nang nakauwi siya kaya nagdadalwang isip siya.

Umuwi agad si ryujin ng probinsya pagkatapos nung usapan nila sa amo yamie non. Si ning naman nagpa-china at kakauwi lang last week since mag sstart na klase nila sa DLSU.

“Anong oras daw?”

“Mga 6 daw. Sabay sabay daw tayo mag dinner since last show pa naman daw yung papanoorin”

Ryujin clicked her tongue. Magccram nanaman bukas.

“Sino mga kasama?” She connected her phone to her car and slowly drove out of the parking lot.

“... Tayo tayo”

Napatawa ng mahina si ryujin sa pagkasagot ni winter. “You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific than that win. Sino sino?”

She could hear winter clicking her tongue as she smoothly entered the busy street of Lacson Avenue “Tayo nila chae... Tas grupo nila”

Napangiti si ryujin kasi naiimagine niya yung simangot sa mukha ni winter ngayon.

“Magiisang buwan nang lumipas ah? Di mo pa napapatawad?” Ryujin asked curiously.

Just a few days after their talk she received a message from yeji asking her if their friends knew kasi minessage daw siya ng mga kaibigan niya. She immediately felt bad for not giving yeji a heads up at the very least.

R: Ansabi nila? Sorry hindi na kita nasabihan. Biglaan lang din ako napakwento eh.

Y: Okay lang. I’m just surprised that it took you this long to tell them.

Y: Chaeryeong said she couldn’t believe I did that to you, Yuna’s disappointed and Winter... Y: I just got ‘Just wow. Hwang Yeji’. Yun lang.

Y: Quite scary if you ask me.

R: I’m really really sorry Yej. Kakausapin ko nalang sila.

Y: No, it’s really fine ryu. I apologized to them naman na but I haven’t heard anything.

Y: I totally get why they’re mad tho. I deserve it anyways...

Y: Since I hurt you and all.

R: Omg sorry talaga. Nakakahiya. But I’m sure they’ll forgive you

R: Just give them time.

“As if may choice naman ako? Ikaw tong ex. Kung napatawad mo nga ako pa kaya?” Winter scoffs “Naiirita lang ako tuwing naaalala ko.”

“Pero nakausap niyo na siya diba? Kayo nila chaeng?” Ryujin rested on her seat as she waited for the traffic lights to change.

“Oo. Pero alam niyang inis parin ako sakanya. Sila yuna naman okay na sila. Sabi mo nga ang tagal na din kasing kumipas.”

Ryujin chuckled before reminding her lightly “Be nice later win. Ngayon nalang ulit tayo makokompleto lahat. Not since-”

“Senior high, I know. Don’t worry, I’ll play nice”

“Anong play?” Ryujin rolled her eyes “Actually be nice.”

“No promises” Winter joked lightly “Sige na. Chat nalang sa gc” Ryujin hummed before ending the call. She played a bunch of kpop songs afterwards, blasting it loudly through the speakers all the way until she arrived home.

Ryujin showered and changed into more comfortable clothes. Seeing as she still had a few hours before 6 she decided to get some well-deserved nap after having stayed up late the past few nights.

*

Dinner was... interesting to say the least. For the most part, conversations flowed freely among them. If Ryujin didn’t know any better, she’d say everyone was having a great time. But she did know better, having three childhood friends and an ex, who was seating on the other side of the table, among them.

Ryujin couldn’t help but notice that Yeji is being cautious in her conversations with Yuna and Chaeryoung despite being forgiven by the younger two. It wasn’t really obvious but having grasped the mannerisms of the older woman, ryujin somehow knew.

It was in the way Yeji’s left brow would raise just slightly after each question, which meant she was being careful. It was in Yeji’s shy grin that meant she was relieved at something. It was in the way Yeji would discreetly include winter into their conversation that meant she was trying to reconcile wth the younger woman.

Winter, who was sat beside her eating nonchalantly, more or less was able to converse with Yeji, albeit reserved. On the surface, winter blamed it on the insanely hot weather for her low-tension but ryujin knows that this was currently as civil as winter could get with the older woman.

Ryujin supposes it was fine, as long as everyone was getting along. It’s all in the past anyways. She was suddenly curious as to whether or not Yeji told her friends about their break up as well, and if she did. What exactly did she say?

Ryujin might never find out.

Having bought the tickets before they had dinner, all they have to do now is waste time until 9 o’clock. They were now walking around Uptown entering and leaving shops here and there.

Ryujin doesn’t exactly know how winter got everyone to agree on watching don’t breathe 2. So now, Chaeryeong was already panicking and stressing about her sleep, if she’s able to.

“Gusto mo sa bahay ka nalang matulog?” Inoffer ni ryujin kasi mukhang paiyak na si chaeryeong eh may isang oras pa bago mag start ang movie.

Chaeryeong took a shaky breath but shook her head “Kadorm ko naman si yuna. I’ll be fine... sana” She tried giving a smile but it clearly looked forced. Ryujin could only pat the younger at the back softly to comfort.

Winter overheard them talking and immediately got close before grinning wickedly, teasing her “Pag takot pikit”

Chae just rolled her eyes before shoving winter hard. Since nasa pinaka harap silang tatlo sa grupo nila, nakita ng iba kung paano sumobsob si winter sa sahig. Ayan tuloy tinawanan siya ng lahat.

“Tangina! Fragile goods here?!” reklamo ni winter habang pinapagpagan ang nadumihan niyang pantalon at kamay.

Chaeryoung’s just stared at her ridiculously, up and down, wondering which part exactly was fragile about her “More like damaged good”

Napagtawanan ulit ng lahat si winter dahil nakatameme nalang si winter sa narinig niya.

Ryujin caught something at the corner of her eye. A store that displayed different kinds of watches. She purposely lagged a little, letting the others walk before her before tactfully making a Segway to the said store to look around.

She’s always been wanting a leather watch but hadn’t had a chance to buy one herself as she still hasn’t found one that suits her tastes exactly. By now nakailang ikot sa siya sa store, fascinated by the designs, hanggang sa may naramdaman siyang may umihip sa tenga niya ng napakalapit.

“PUTANG-”

Nilingon ni ryujin ang kung sino man ang bastos na ang lakas ng trip at pagmumurahin niya na sana sa inis when she was met with the one and only who, by the way, was clearly holding in her laughter.

Ryujin exhaled a breath she didn’t know she was holding, all the words that was just about to fly out of was discarded completely.

“Ano ba naman yan Rina.” Ryujin clicked her tongue in annoyance. “Pasalamat ka maganda ka” She muttered.

Karina let out a chuckle at ryujin looking annoyed while furiously rubbing her ears.

“Sorry” Both of them knew she didn’t mean it. “Hinahanap ka ng iba, bigla ka lang daw kasi nawala”

Ryujin looked at her phone and saw the time. “ sorry, hindi ko napansin.” Halos 20 minutes din pala siyang patingin tingin lang sa store.

Karina just shrugged indicating it wasn’t a big deal at naglakad na palabas ng store.

Ryujin immediately walked beside her but it was right then that she noticed that no one else was with her “Yung iba?”

“Bibili daw sila Gi sa starbucks eh, baka andon na.” Napatingin si ryujin sa kasama niya.

“So bumalik ka lang for me?” Ryujin could already feel her lips curving up into a smirk “Aww that’s so sweet” she teased.

Karina just rolled her eyes “You’re an ”

Ryujin just chuckled but appreciated the gesture nonetheless. She actually had no problems with following after them alone but she thinks walking together with someone sounds better.

Comfortable silence washed over them as they walked past different shops all the way until they were just a few stores from starbucks.

Ryujin felt a hand grab onto her elbow making her look back. Karina was looking hesitant and worried which made her frown a bit.

She took a step closer and gently held the older woman by her arms as she slowly caressed it up and down for comfort. “You okay?” She asked softly.

Ryujin noticed a frown forming on karina’s forehead as she lightly bit her lower lip. “Hey... Is there something wrong? What is it?” She said, trying to catch karina’s eyes that was darting everywhere.

Once she caught them, ryujin caught a trace of... shame? She wasn’t sure which was why ryujin held onto her hands, rubbing her thumb onto the back of Karina’s palm.

“Come on. What’s bothering you? You can tell me” She coaxed gently. Ryujin stared into Karina’s eyes encouragingly.

“This would sound ridiculous but...” Karina let out a sigh “I’m sorry”

Ryujin almost wanted to laugh at how random she was being “Sorry? Para??”

“I mean, I know it’s been a few years but still... I’m sorry... For what my bestfriend did” The gears in ryujin’s head clicked.

Ryujin rolled her eyes “Ano ka ba. Dati ka pa nagsosorry, I already said it’s fine remember?”

“No. Yea I know. I know.. I just...” karina combed her hand through her hair looking somewhat frustrated “I guess I just wanted to say it personally.”

Ryujin smiled softly. She’s finding the frustrated Yoo Jimin to be quite an attractive sight.

“It’s fine.” She shrugged. Karina looked like she was searching for something in ryujin’s eyes. When she failed to find anything, Karina breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Tara na?” Ryujin had just resumed walking when she heard karina call her stopping her in her tracks. She looked back

Karina was now a few feet from her biting her lower lip, clearly looking hesitant.

If a frustrated Jimin looked hot, then a hesitant Jimin looked adorable. She laughed softly “Rin, what is it this time?”

Her eyes met with Jimin’s as she spoke “I don’t know if you know but back then... Yeji...”

Ryujin felt her heart thump once at the mention her name. Was it apprehension? Anticipation? She didn’t know but still, she patiently waited for the other woman to finish.

“I know she acted like she was fine while you two talked but... she was a complete wreck after that.” Karina walked until she was right beside the younger woman. Patting ryujin’s shoulder, she smiled half heartedly “... I just thought you should know.”

Ryujin remained still even after karina went ahead. She smiled dejectedly, watching her hands as she continuously grasped nothing but air.

That makes two of us.

*

The whole room lit up as the ending credits rolled and people started standing up from their seats and proceeding towards the exit. She would have wanted to stand up as well but seeing as chaeryeong was still tightly holding on to her shirt as she hid behind her shoulders, she decided she could wait a few more minutes.

“Chae, ayos na. Tapos na yung movie ohh”

“Tangina. Mapapatay ko talaga tropa mo ryu.”

Ryujin let out a few chuckles as she watched Chaeryeong slowly leaned back at the loveseat couch and exhaling in pure relief.

Ryujin handed out an opened bottle of water to the younger girl to which she happily took and drank straight up.

“Tropa mo din naman yon pero sige. Support lang kita” Tawa niya

“Sino papatayin naten?” Inosenteng tanong ni Winter na sumilip galling sa katabing couch.

“Ikaw” The younger replied almost immediately.

Winter pouted. “Why naman ako?”

“Pasalamat ka nalang muna na magkadorm kami ni yuna.” Chaeryeong rolled her eyes before standing up.

Dumila si winter na parang nahihiya. “Sorry... But on the bright side!” Pumalakpak siya ng isang beses “At least napasaya mo si ryujin!” Winter finished brightly

Sabay kumunot ang noo ng dalawang ngayon ay nakatayo. “Ha?” “Ano daw?”

Winter shrugged “I mean halos the whole time pinagtatawanan ka niya kanina diba”

Lumaki agad ang mata ni ryujin at aakma na sana siyang aalis kaso hinawakan agad siya ni Chaeryeong sa kamay at pinagpapalo siya sa braso.

“Aray!” Napapayuko nalang si ryujin sa mga parating na palo galling sa mas nakakabata “Chae naman!” reklamo niya.

Sinamaan lang ni Chaeryeong ng tingin si ryujin nang tumigil na siya.

“Isa ka pa” Chaeryeong huffed before walking towards yuna na ngayon ay nagsstretch sa upuan niya sa dulo na katabi si lia.

“Sa susunod kayo nalang magtabi mga gago!” Sigaw neto palayo

Nagkatinginan lang si winter at ryujin at natawa nalang sila parehas at sumunod palabas ng sine.

Palabas na sila ng mall nang nakita ni  Ryujin na may binukas si Karina sa phone niya “Mag ggrab kayo?”

Karina just hummed, still fiddling with her phone and setting up the coordinates.

“Ikaw lang?”

She shook her head “Kaming tatlo ni Lia.”

“Akala ko ba same sila Lia tsaka ning ng place?”

“Same nga pero don daw siya makikitulog samen tonight” Karina answered before muttering under her breath at how insanely high the prices were.

Nilipat ni ryujin ang tingin niya sa iba at napansin niyang naguusap yung iba habang si winter naman nakaupo sa gilid, looking like a kicked puppy.

Ryujin snorted before sitting beside her. “Chura mo”

“Pano ba naman kase, pinilit ako nila ningning na ihatid sila don sakanila” Winter clicked her tongue “Imbis na maaga akong makakauwi aba”

Ryujin could feel her lips threatening to tug upwards before she leaned her back on the wall. “Pumayag ka din naman sa dulo”

Winter huffed and turned to look at her frowning “Mukha bang may choice ako? Kilala mo naman sila ning jusko”

Ryujin let out a low chuckle “Sabagay”

She looked around and seeing as the others were either talking or in Karina and Yeji’s case, on their phone, so ryujin opted to close her eyes. It’s been a long day at mukhang matatagalan pa ata sila Karina mag hanap ng grab kaya papahinga lang siya ng saglit.

Maya maya narinig ni Ryujin na nagsalita ang katabi niya “Antok ka na?” Ryujin just hummed, annoyed “Dami kong kelangan ipasa bukas lintek. Puros mga minor feeling major amputa.” Reklamo ni ryujin ng hindi parin binubuksan ang kanyang mga mata.

“Ahh...” Ang sinagot lang ni winter pero dahil malakas ang sixth sense niya sa mga kagaguhan ni winter, may naramdaman siyang kakaiba kaya binuklat niya ang mga mata at tama nga. Halatang may binabalak na masama ang gago sa ngiti palang.

Ryujin narrowed her eyes at her “Ano nanaman yang nasa utak mo”

Winter pouted feigning hurt “Grabe wala pa nga akong ginagawa eh”

“So may balak ka nga?”

Winter just grinned mischievously before shouting, quite loudly to be exact. “Yeji!”

Lumaki agad ang mata ni ryujin at aakma sanang takpan niya ang bibig ni winter kaso pinaglihi ata sa bulate ang bugok sa bilis umilag at lumapit na sa nagtatakang babae.

Ryujin cursed winter under her breathe, deciding it was best to stay in her seat watching the two talk. She could see winter talking animatedly. Yeji looked like she was about to decline but as soon as karina joined, the oldest instantly took hold of the conversation and agreed to what winter suggested.

She saw winter walking back to her looking all smug with this glint in her eyes.

“Ayos na. Nasabi ko na” Inangat angat ni winter ang kilay niya.

Napasimangot si Ryujin. “Huh? Ang ano?”

Tsaka niya lang napansin ang dalawang babae na nakasunod sa likod ni winter.

“Sabi mo kasi na ikaw nalang ang maghahatid sakanilang dalawa kasi sayang lang bayad sa grab”

Napaka putangina mo talaga Kim Minjeong.

“Diba?” Winter smirked, looking quite proud and ryujin wanted nothing more than to wipe that smirk off of her face.

“Sure ka ryu?” Tanong ni Karina. She looked surprise but also hesitant while Yeji was simply staring at her, not saying anything.

Ryujin doesn’t know what the older woman’s thinking but since nakakahiya namang tanggihan sila harap harapan, sinakyan niya nalang ang trip ni winter.

It was definitely not because of how driving Yeji home would mean that she’d get more time to gaze into those sharp and mesmerizing eyes. Definitely not because of that. Nope.

Ryujin just nodded and gave out a small smile “It’s fine Rina“

“Really? But I heard you live somewhere around ayala right?” Karina asked

“Kanino mo narinig?”

“Present” Winter answered cheekily and ryujin rolled her eyes because, of course, who else but winter?

“Somewhere around ayala ave lang. Why?”

“I just checked” Yeji was now frowning at something at her phone. “It’s almost a 30-minute drive from ours, and that’s if there’s no traffic.”

Yeji looked up at her and shook her head. “Jinnie wag na.” Her tone resolute “It’s too much of a hassle for you. We could just take the grab. Karina had found one naman na.”

Ryujin’s brow twitched, if anything, she hated being ordered around. Just before yeji could grab Karina by her arm, ryujin stopped her. “Yej. I said it’s fine didn’t I?”

Tiningnan lang siya ni yeji, clearly looking doubtful. Ryujin knows na ayaw lang maging abala si yeji sa ibang tao kaya tumatanggi siya,

She pushed on “Besides, it’s late and I don’t trust a complete stranger to get you home safe anyways.”

“There’s the app, you could just track our loc-“

“I don’t care.” Ryujin stubbornly cut her off and surprising the older woman.

“Please. Just” She stared into Yeji’s eyes and was immediately blown away with how the dim lights are being perfectly reflected in those dark brown orbs. She didn't even realize that her voice naturally lowered into a gentle soft tone. A stark difference from how she sounded just moments ago “Let me drive you home”

“...Okay” Yeji breathed out. Ryujin could feel a smile threatening to break out of her face

“Okay?” She repeated just to make sure.

“I said okay” Yeji chuckled lightly, looking amused. At this ryujin showed a toothy smile and nodded her head up and down to herself. “Alright”

Ryujin was naturally a protective person, especially if it’s about her friends. This is fine, she chanted to herself. Yeji and Karina was her friend so it was just natural for her to want her friends safe. This is fine.

Ryujin caught Winter smirking at her from the corner of her eyes, she ignored it and instead focused on the two in from of her. “So... Tara na ba?” Aya niya.

Tumango naman yung dalawa at nagsimula na silang magpaalam sa iba.

Tinawag ng dalawa si Lia habang nilapitan naman ni ryujin si winter at sinapak ito ng mahina. “Puta. Para san yon?!” Reklamo ni winter ng nakabulong pero pasigaw.

“Tsk. Kung ano ano kasing pumapasok sa isip mo. Akala ko ba naiinis ka pa sakanya?” Tanong niya ng mahina

Winter scoffed “Ibang usapan yon. Pabebe ka pa. You could’ve said no” before mocking her “Ikaw lang din naman tong nag insist sa huli diba.”

Walang masagot si ryujin don kaya naman sinuntok niya nalang ulit ng medyo malakas “Putang-“ bago niya iniwan si winter at sinalubong yung tatlo niyang ihahatid na palapit sakanya. “Tara na ba?”

The three nodded at the same time. Ryujin bid her other friends goodbyes, winter was glaring daggers at her while ningning hugged her tightly before whispering in her ear. “Hang out again soon?”

She just nodded as an answer and proceeded towards the parking lot with the three women in tow.

Mas nauuna si ryujin ng konti kaya naman napapansin niya na lahat ng nadadaanan nilang tao ay nakatingin sa likod niya. Kaya naman napalingon siya at gusto niyang matawa dahil syempre, the three of them are either unaware of the stares they’re getting or they’re used to it na.

She can’t deny that her friends are all gorgeous and beautiful individuals but seeing the top three divas among them walk together hand in hand, looking like they’re on the Paris fashion show, was a sight to behold.

Hwang Yeji, especially, took her breath away. With her tall but lean stature and her pink highlights that brings out her bright eyes and that shy grin she wears that shows the cute dimple on her cheek has ryujin utterly weak at her knees. Yeji was just so devastatingly charming that she can’t help but force herself to look away because the urge to pocket and keep yeji to herself is getting harder to ignore.

Napalunok siya at napahinga ng malalim kasi Lord, bakit naman po ang ganda niya masyado? Napakaunfair naman po ano.

Ryujin didn’t want to admit but she felt a pang of disappointment when Yeji sat at the back, but she just shrugged it off and supposed that it was for the best.

She has to somehow get used to their friends-only dynamic now that they’re bound to keep meeting up as a group.

Kakapark niya palang sa entrance ng Blue residences at bumaba na din siya para makapaalam ng maayos sa mga kaibigan niya.

“Thank you ryujin-ah” Lia said after hugging her goodbye.

Karina side-hugged her next “Take care on the way home hm?”

Ryujin just hummed and nodded. The two proceeded towards the lobby first leaving Yeji with her.

“Pasok ka na-“

“Thank you sa-“

Napatawa nalang silang dalawa. “Sorry” Ryujin gestured to yeji “Go ahead. Ano yon?”

“Ah.. Wala” Yeji shook her head smiling “Just wanted to thank you and, um, sorry. Napalayo ka pa tuloy.”

“Ayos lang.” Ryujin assured her “I insisted naman”

Yeji just nodded and they both kind of just stood there, not knowing what else to say.

The older woman burst out in chuckles na ikinalito ni ryujin but at the same time amused so she asked “Bakit?”

Yeji covered her face with the back of her hand shyly. Cute. “Wala.. Ang awkward lang naten”

“Ahh...” Ryujin chuckled a bit herself, napakamot siya sa ulo niya “Sorry... Ang weird lang kasi”

Yeji looked around her and saw a bench “Gusto mo umupo muna?”

Ryujin agreed and followed after her.

They both sat on the bench, with ryujin being a bit careful and placing space between them that was not too far but not too near.

They allowed the noise of the streets to fill up their shared space as both got lost in their own thoughts.

Ryujin inhaled the night air deeply and took this chance to figure out exactly where she’s at and what she’s feeling towards the woman beside her. “What are you thinking?”

Napatingin siya sa katabi niya, Yeji was currently looking at the night sky and holding her hand out as if she was reaching for something.

“Just... Stuffs.”

Yeji giggled eyeing her slightly amused. “Still the same I see”

Ryujin just smiled and shrugged not knowing how else to respond. Yeji leaned back before looking back up once again.

Another comfortable silence took place over them, but this time Ryujin made herself comfortable by lifting her left leg on the space between them, sitting sideways. She placed her arms folded on top of the backrest and laid her head on it, simply gazing at the older woman’s side profile

She quietly drank in the sight of how delicate and mesmerizing Yeji looks under the dim street lights, but at the same time Ryujin couldn’t help but notice that the she appears to be somewhat exhausted.

Ryujin knows it’s mean but personally, she’d always thought that Yeji looked the most beautiful like this. With the latter’s eyes, evidently tired and drowsy and the dark bags under it indicated that she lacks sleep. It made her want to hug and care for the older woman.

Ryujin smiled a bit and felt somewhat proud when she recalled something that Yeji had mentioned once or twice. Yeji said that her hugs had always made her feel safe and calm and that the younger woman was all she needed to feel at home.

Ryujin could instantly say that it was the same with her before but now... Nakita niyang humikab si Yeji “Pasok ka na?”

Lumingon sakanya si Yeji at mukhang nagulat sa posisyon ni ryujin pero umiling siya “Maya maya na.” Ryujin nodded.

She could feel her lips tugging upwards knowing that Yeji is starting to feel embarrassed by her staring. Her darting eyes and fiddling hands gave her away but ryujin didn’t let up.

Ryujin was enjoying the sight of Yeji not knowing what to do before the latter suddenly huffed and turned towars her. Their eyes met and none of them moved

Ryujin wasn’t aware but she unconsciously gazed at the older woman with such warmth and fondness that Yeji can’t help but soft so she ended up copying ryujin’s position.

“What’re you thinking about?” Yeji asked softly, as if speaking any louder would disrupt whatever bubble they were suspended in right now.

“Just...” Ryujin was distracted at how the lights looked like they were dancing around Yeji’s eyes “... Us.”

Yeji hummed as she leaned her head on her right arm as her left hand ended up playing with the loose thread of her pants.

With her voice still hushed, Yeji asked “What about us?”

Ryujin didn’t respond but the older of the two waited patiently.

“Kung hindi ako nangibang bansa” Ryujin paused, watching the other’s reaction “Tingin mo tayo parin?”

Umangat ang kilay ni Yeji pero inisip niya parin ng mabuti.

She shook her head “I’m not sure.” Before shrugging “Who knows”

Ryujin just hummed before yeji threw back her question “Ikaw ba? Do you think we’d still be together if you hadn’t left?”

“Honestly?” Ryujin asked warily. Yeji nodded.

Ryujin pursed her lips before sighing and sitting up properly. Yeji followed but her attention was still on the younger woman. “I don’t think so”

“Oh? Why?”

“If you think about it...” Ryujin her dry lips “Our relationship was somewhat toxic”

That piqued Yeji’s interest “In what way?”

Ryujin studied the older woman but saw nothing but curiosity so she went on “Kasi nga diba we almost never left each other’s side, so we also ended up having no time for ourselves. Yes, we grew together relationship-wise but we didn’t get grow individually, outside of that relationship. Gets mo ba?

Yeji silently nodded.

“We didn’t think too much of it then kasi we were too consumed with our wants that we neglected our needs in order to have a healthy relationship. We were too drunk in love and na we didn’t realize that that, itself, was already a budding problem.”

Ryujin laughed in spite of herself while absentmindedly staring at the stream of cars passing by. Lumingon siya kay Yeji “Masyado kitang minahal na wala akong naitira para sa sarili ko” Malungkot na ngiti ang naibigay siya sa kaharap niya.

“I know you loved me” Yeji just stared at her, silently. Ryujin gazed into those sharp and alluring eyes, feeling captivated. “And that you gave a lot of you in our relationship as well. Pero hindi natin napansin – or siguro napansin nga pero binalewala lang natin – na hindi na healthy yon for the both of us.”

Ryujin reached out slowly, carefully looking if she would frown or show any sign objection towards her action. Yeji showed nothing of the sort, so ryujin plucked up the courage and shifted closer and held the other’s hand placing it on her lap.

“Hindi man tayo mag b-break agad agad pero... sooner or later, I’m sure that those negative aspects that we ignored would slowly catch up to us and bite us right in our asses. Pipigain natin ang sarili natin hanggang sa wala na tayong maibibigay at tuluyan nalang tayo mapapagod sa isa’t isa”

“But what if” Yeji paused, swallowing the lump in , watching as Ryujin slowly clasped their fingers together and squeezing her hand gently. “What if, we realized back then a-and changed what needed to be changed.” Yeji stuttered over her words.

“Do you think...” Yeji didn’t get to finish her question after seeing ryujin’s knowing look. She immediately understood. She supposed nothing could have saved them from their inevitable fate.

The older woman could do nothing but look down at their intertwined hands, smiling dejectedly.

Although their regrets and all the other unspoken what ifs filled the air around them leaving a bitter aftertaste in Ryujin’s mouth, she found solace in knowing that she wasn’t the only one with all the questions.

After a while, Ryujin stood slowly, tugging Yeji up along with her. Now standing a few inches away from each other, she chuckled after seeing the puzzled look from the older woman.

“Tara na. Late na.” Aya niya. Just as she let go of her hand and turned around, she felt a tug at the back of her shirt causing her to stop in her tracks before feeling, what seems to be Yeji’s head, behind her nape.

She heard a low “Jinnie...” and tried turning around but couldn’t because Yeji was now clutching tightly to her shirt. She could do nothing but gently turn her head to the side to try to hear better.

“Ano yon?” She asked softly.

“Do you think it was worth it?” uttered a small voice.

Ryujin frowned because Yeji was going to have to be more specific. “Ang alin?”

“Us...” At this, ryujin immediately turned around but Yeji was looking down, not meeting her eyes with her fists clenched beside her.

“Fighting for me... Waiting for me... Getting hurt by me...” Yeji swallowed, feeling smaller than ever.

Ryujin could feel her heart clench at how vulnerable and fragile she sounded. “Yeji...” She called out tenderly as she took a step closer, invading her personal space before holding the taller woman’s face gently.

Ryujin felt like the wind was knocked out of her as she felt Yeji pressing herself almost desperately towards her touch. Yeji’s eyes were closed, brows scrunched up, and her breaths low and deep as she savored the warmth she hadn’t felt for years. “...Was I worth it?”

“Oh baby...” Her voice, thick with emotion. Ryujin pressed their foreheads tightly together as Yeji let out a whimper at hearing her call her with so much affection.

Ryujin took a shaky breath as she felt tighten up with all the words she wanted to say. The freight train of emotions slammed against at her ribcage, franticly struggling to burst out and explode.

“God, Yeji...” She wished she could instead show her just how worthy she is every single day because that is what Yeji deserves, but she can’t. No matter how much she wants to, it was no longer her right. Their time together has passed and all good things come to an end. “You were all, and so much more love.” She managed to croak out.

Seeing the tears streaming down Yeji’s face and hearing her whimpers felt like someone was “No baby, please don’t cry” Ryujin softly pleaded before naturally placing a soft kiss in her forehead like she did when they were still lovers. Her lips lingering for a while, whispering sweet nothings before Yeji buried her face at the crook of her neck, holding on to her tightly.

They just stood there swaying as Ryujin continuously soothed the older woman. Once she felt her calm down, she leaned back and took Yeji’s face into her hands once more. Chuckling a bit seeing Yeji’s eyes swollen and nose red from all the crying.

Pinunasan niya ang mga dinaanan ng luha sa ukha neto at tinitigan ito sa mga mata, napalunok siya sa gusto niyang itanong sa kaharap niya.

“Pwede ako naman?” Ryujin joked in attempt to hide just how tense she was feeling. Yeji nodded and focused her attention on her.

“Was I worth-” She paused before shaking her head and changing her mind. “No. Nevermind that” Ryujin lowered her hands from Yeji’s face, down to her shoulders before reaching her slender hands and gently grasping onto it.

“Was I enough?”

Yeji closed her eyes tightly at the question, as if to keep more tears at bay. She nodded before knocking her forehead onto Ryujin’s lightly. Their lips were a few centimeters away from each other, their breaths mixing together as they stood close to each other. Just one move and they could kiss but none of them moved another step as they stared deeply into each other’s eyes.

Ryujin felt her heart throb, in a good way, as Yeji whispered back sincerely “You were all and more than what I could've asked for. My love"

That was all she needed to finally come into terms with herself and her own feelings.

Ryujin lifted their hands and placed a small and tender kiss onto Yeji’s knuckles, causing her breath to hitch, before muttering a small ‘Thank you’ and gently lowering them and placing it back to the other’s sides.

She smiled gratefully at Yeji. Looking at her with all the love she that has, both romantic and platonic, and hoping that those feelings was conveyed sincerely in her eyes as she bid goodbye.

“Pasok ka na” Ryujin pointed towards the lobby.

Yeji bounced on her toes, finally feeling the embarrassment creep up on her at their heartfelt conversation. “Thank you, for tonight”

“I could say the same” Yeji laughed softly at Ryujin’s never-changing nonchalant tone.

“Drive home safe, yea?” Yeji reminded as she started walking backwards.

Ryujin chuckled, nodding and waving goodbye as Yeji disappeared into the lobby.

She entered her car and started the engine.

The soft beat of the music filled the silence as she felt herself weightless and her mind, high up in the clouds, now that she had finally - and officially - closed the past chapter of her life.

Ryujin wasn’t aware but there was a ghost of a smile on her face as she drove all the way back home.