"I get it... if you don't want to talk right now. I just needed to know you're okay."

By the way Eunbi's sitting at the end of the mat, she's been here for a while. Looking at the sunken look on her face overwhelms me and makes me want to cry. She draws her knees up to her chest and rests her chin on top.

"It's probably all really confusing for you right now. I'm sorry." I shift to sit, but I turn away to face the window. A sad laugh comes out of her as she leans back into the wall with her nose pointed up. "Yuna won't even look at me... I don't regret what we did. I don't think I ever will. Because I loved it. Because I love you." She pauses, and I can feel her eyes on me. "Yuna made a choice, and so did you. But I need you to know that I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

The other takes steps towards me, but i can't tell how far away she is when she stops behind me. "Yerin? Please say something..." her voice shakes. "Please?"

But I can't. I don't think I can say anything that I won't take back immediately. I don't want to hurt her, and I don't want to get her hopes up. So all I do is look over my shoulder and at her shoes.

I hear her sniffle, and my chest tightens. My eyes are trained to one spot even after she walks out, leaving me in the eery silence.

I don't go back to the dorms until dinner time for a fresh set of clothes and to charge my phone. It's empty when I arrive, and probably has been the entire day. My eyes glaze over my side of the room as I look at the posters and pictures hung on the wall. There's a poster of my favorite K-pop group from when I was a kid, a picture of my family, and a couple of pictures of me at tournaments over the years.

There's a small pile of printed pictures and Polaroids on my desk, because I always forget to put them up. I pick up the one at the top that I used to keep in wallet everyday— me and Yuna on the morning of her birthday. She was against me taking a picture of us because she just woke up, but I told her she looked beautiful. The younger held up the bowl of seaweed soup, almost spilling it, and put her cheek against mine. Under the picture is one I forgot I had, mainly because I stole it from Eunbi as a joke and never gave it back. It's Eunbi taking a picture of herself in front of a glass display's reflection, but Yuna and I are posing behind her, ruining the aesthetic. 

With the little sleep I had last night and the physical activity from today, I feel my body about to give out at any moment. And with the tournament tomorrow, I need to rest.

Everyone does, for a moment. 

-

It's disappointing, to say the least, that I don't get into the top three. As a student of my school and a member of the team, it's great to see a teammate get first place. As a friend... and with my emotions, my heart feels light when Eunbi receives the award in front of everyone. At the podium, she bows and I could've sworn she looked at me for a sliver of a second.

On the bus ride back to campus, I listen to music with my earbuds in while leaning my head on the window. I feel my seatmate stand but then sit back down. A hand on my arm surprises me, and one of my earbuds almost falls out of my ear when I turn my head.

It's Eunbi.

With the medal around her neck, she simply takes my earbud, puts it into her own ear, and lays her head on my shoulder as she cuddles my arm. No words are spoken throughout the ride, but she tells me all I need to know through her fingers playing with my hand.

Everyone goes their own ways once off the bus, but Eunbi keeps my hand in hers before I can go further. "Walk with me?" 

We walk in silence to one of the quads on campus, near the track field. I've been told it's at a good elevation, allowing for a high view of the whole school. She drops her bag and sits cross-legged while looking out at the view. I follow suit right beside her, almost rubbing against her arm at our closeness.

The wind is a little warmer today. Less cold, I should say. It blows past us lightly as the sun peeks out from the clouds. For a Saturday, campus is quiet.

"When you bumped into me that first time," she starts. "Well, when I bumped into you... I was angry up until I recognized who you were. Like, what a coincidence that we're going to the same school now. But then you got mad. So I decided that despite my initial impression of you, I didn't like you. And I could tell you felt the same way. Then, it just kept going. Since I didn't like you, of course I didn't want you for Yuna. Then... I found it fun to mess with you. It was amazing how easily you got riled up on one thing I would say."

I purse my lips at how true that statement was. Eunbi had that talent of getting people on the edge, whether it be good or bad. And I take her bait everytime.

"I should have just told you I was allergic to grapes." She laughs, but her smile falters.  "Then... in the closet... I was already in a terrible mood because of being chosen, but your face made me furious. It's like you hated the thought of me even breathing your air. It hurt, to be honest. That's when I realized how much of a nuisance you were to me. To my life." A heavy sigh escapes her lungs, and she pulls at some grass absent-mindedly. 

"Yet you helped me. You dealt with my stubborn . You carried me. You looked at my bruises. You told Sojung and Yuna that I missed them when I was too scared to tell them myself. I was falling for you. Hard" Eunbi turns to look at me with softness in her eyes. "And when you almost kissed me, I thought I had a chance. So I tried," she shrugs. "The more time I spent with you, the more guilt I felt. But I couldn't stop. And Yuna knew somehow."

She sighs again with a shake of her head. "I don't know why she broke up with you. But when I found out she did... It felt like it was my fault. So I thought it was best that I stay away from you. I really didn't expect you to go swimming with me that day. But that was my breaking point."

She shifts closer, releasing a shaky breath. "Yerin, I hope we can stay together. We can fix things with Yuna and Sojung together. I... I want to continue what we've started."

Eunbi laid her heart out to me. A lot of things make sense now, and my thoughts are slowly coming back to place. Why end this for an unsurety which is Yuna? I don't know why she ended things between us, but Eunbi's here now with me. It could work. It will work.

I nod, and she tackles me in a hug that has us fall into the grass. "Just give me a little time, okay?" I mutter, her cheek. Because only time can help me recuperate. Her medal peeks out from under her jacket. "I don't think I've told you this yet: Congratulations Miss Gold."

She frowns and rests her head on the ground. "You deserve it more."

"I'll get 'em next time. Don't worry about me. Your win is a win for all of us." She pecks me on the lips so naturally that I freeze for a moment. A blush comes to my cheeks, and she kisses me again.

---

Days turn into weeks, then almost two months of not speaking to my roommate or Yuna. It's not like I'm necessarily doing it on purpose.

It just so happens that it's athletics season, so all students get busy with training, traveling, tournaments, and on top of it all, studies. I've found myself studying in the library, studying in the gym, in the café, in the bus, or in the lobby of the dorms. Thankfully, I still get to see Eunbi in between because of the team. 

She told me once that she's experiencing the same thing. Yuna's always had a different schedule, and now she sees her even less. "I'm glad I still have you," Eunbi whispers as she takes a nap beside me on one of the big library chairs. I pat her legs that are over my lap, and put my arm around her to draw her closer. I rest my laptop on her thighs so I can continue reading, and I can sense her breathing change as she finally goes unconscious.

We're tired. And we miss our friends.

A few weeks ago, we had a heated argument after a tournament. She thought I was mad at her because she was in the ranking, and I wasn't. Again. Sure, I was frustrated that my hard work wasn't bearing results, but I was no less proud of her. But I said the wrong thing and somehow put the blame on her.

"I'm sorry for getting an award? What am I supposed to do? Give it back?" she told me.

"I do my best! There's just so much happening, and my body hurts, and I never get to be alone!"

"Do you hate me that much for being around? If you need space, then tell me instead of whining like a child."

"I am not a child! I can't rest easy when you're not around me, but at the same time, I don't know what to do alone!"

I walked away after that, contradicting my own statement. But at midnight that night, I got her to come down to the lobby and we both apologized. I've only ever argued with my brother or my parents, so it felt weird knowing that you can't just bounce back like you're two-faced. Eunbi was still upset with me, but she warmed up easily after getting snacks and cuddling on the couch.

Then it happened again earlier this week.

I took something and blew it completely out of proportion after she mentioned that a guy has been trying to talk to her. She knew he was interested in her, yet she entertained him anyway. It got worse when she said she actually met up with him after one of her classes just to reject him because she thought it was funny. I don't like thinking about it anymore, because I know now that I did the wrong thing.

But I made her cry. Even if I did comfort her once she started, it doesn't change the fact that she cried. Looking at her now beside me, I hate knowing that the first time I ever saw her cry was caused by myself.

"Eunbi, can you say it for me? Please?" I asked her after her breathing started to level.

"It's okay. And you're still with me."

My mom used to have me say that to calm down as a kid. I told Eunbi about it once, and now she even says it when I'm not around. Whenever we argue, or feel sad, or just feel like crap, we say it. It's like our thing. 

I kiss her forehead tenderly after she shifts a bit. Eunbi always looks so sound when she's asleep. Makes me want to take care of her even more.

Someone enters the library section and searches around for a free chair or table. I glance up from my screen, but look again when I see who it is. She may be wearing a mask, but I recognize those doe eyes anywhere.

Her gaze meets mine, and her eyes also look to the sleeping person in my arms. She quickly walks past us, and I can't see where she goes because of the large backrest of the chair and Eunbi on me.

Needless to say, I shut my laptop, slip it into my bag, and close my eyes as I snuggle into Eunbi's warmth.

When I wake because of my arm losing feeling, the sun's gone from the window, and Eunbi's scrolling on her phone. "Hi," she tells me, fixing my messed hair.

"What time is it?" I ask sleepily.

"It's almost seven."

"How did I sleep like this for two hours?"

She just shrugs, rubbing and punching my arm to get the blood flowing again. 

I crack the joints along my arm and rub my face. "How long have you been awake?" 

"A half hour, maybe? I left to the bathroom, and when I came back, you didn't move an inch. You must be really tired."

I smile sadly. "I've been better. Finals is going to kick my ." 

"Let's go get some food, hm?"

--

I pass all my finals, and I make it to fourth place at the last tournament for the school year. So close. 

The semester comes to a close, and everyone in the dorms packs up for the summer. Over the last two weeks, I've noticed my roommate slowly start to pack her things as her desk clears, boxes fill up by the door, and her wall is plain. I never see her pack until today: one day before the official last day of school. We still have about two weeks before we should move out, but it seems that we both plan on leaving right away.

"Hi Yerin." She actually says it instead of nodding at me or silently waving.

I'm so stunned that I almost forget to greet her back. "...hi Sojung."

"Did you have a good final?"

"I had one this morning, and just barely got the results... You?"

She pauses from folding her clothes and nods at me. "I did. Aced my Korean writing."

"That's good... good." Putting my backpack down, I awkwardly start arranging the things on my desk to put into my luggage as there's no talking again.

"Do you have a final tomorrow?" she breaks the silence.

"My last was today. But uh, I have a last training tomorrow."

"Why do you have training?" I hear her laugh, but maybe I'm imagining things.

"One last before the summer. And also for assigning personal drills for the summer." Sitting on my bed, I face Sojung and twiddle my thumbs. "How's archery been?"

"Oh, it's been good. Got bronze and silver. I still get nervous everytime, so... I gotta work on that." She glances at me a few times, but still focuses on her clothes. "You and Eunbi doing good?"

I except something bad to come, so I just say, "Yeah." 

But it never comes. Instead, Sojung nods in understanding. "I heard Eunbi got gold once."

"T-twice, actually." My phone vibrates, and it's a text from Eunbi asking about my score on the final. Eunbi can wait, I surmise and put my phone down. 

She chuckles and puts her clothes away in a box. "I know. I was just testing you." Her long legs stretch out in front of her as she leans back on her hands and just looks at me. "Any plans for the summer?"

"I'll be an instructor for a taekwondo class. Mostly teenagers preparing for collegiate level."

"With Eunbi?"

I internally panic at the question. Was it a genuine question, or is Sojung messing with me?

"That's been her summer job for a while. I'm just assuming she got you one at the same place?" Right. I almost forgot Sojung knew Eunbi before I did.

"No... No, hers was too far away. I got one closer to my house." 

Her gaze pans to the window as rain drops start to tap the glass pane. "I guess we're all trying to hit two birds with one stone. I'm an instructor for an archery program, but it's for older people who do it as a hobby." She  looks to me again with an eyebrow raised. As if she can read my mind, she answers, "In case you're wondering: no, Yuna's not doing anything related to running. She actually does music lessons when there's no school. To keep herself 'well-rounded'. She's such a dork."

I laugh, and she smiles at that. As we sit just listening to the pitter-patter of the rain, I start to reminisce all the memories we've had both in this room and out. Both the good... and the terribly bad. But without Sojung, my first year in college would have been unimaginable. "It was great having you as a roommate, Sojung."

She lets out a sigh, and I can see her shoulders relax. "You too, Yerin. I'm sorry... for everything. I accused you terribly. And then I proceeded to not talk to you or Eunbi. But you two aren't bad. I just... I really want you to talk to Yuna. That's all I'm asking as her friend. As your friend." Sojung steps towards me and places a hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to tell me— I'll talk to Eunbi too. Though it'd be nice if you could give her a heads up."

She goes to clean up her things again, and I stare at her back. "Thank you," is all I can say.

"I wanted us to leave this room like how we entered it. N-not as strangers, I mean. But as two college kids looking for a friend."

I stare at the floor for a moment as I ponder on her statement. "Is Yuna in her room?"

"Not sure if she still is. Is Eunbi not?"

The thought suddenly reminds me to reply to Eunbi's text. "She's studying with a friend."

"Then I guess it's best to know yourself." 

Before I go knock on her d