You really know how to make me cry 

when you give me those ocean eyes.

Soon-ok had long ago stopped imagining the scene of her meeting with that person ever again. 

Without a doubt, there had been a period where the woman had found herself wishing to see him again, a part of her holding on to the fact that he might not be like she remembered him. A fool is what she saw herself as. A weak fool who in that time could have easily given him a second chance if he would have reached out. But as she reminisced, Soon-ok could only shake her head at the idiotic thoughts of her past self and thank the Lord for forbidding her from seeing him. She had realized with time, as the child in her warm belly grew, that she should spare her loving for someone who truly deserved her. 

But somehow, God seemed to have found the need to test her all over again. Just when Soon-ok felt like she had finally gotten up on her feet again, she would crumble once more.

Never had Soon-ok expected it to happen, nor had she presumed it to awaken the strong emotions that she was sure she had moved past, put in reality only suppressed.

Yet, there he was- frozen in his steps as paleness visibly took over his skin. The expression contorting his features in a mix of shock and fear made it seem like he was experiencing his worst nightmare, but Soon-ok could only find it ever so comical, that she was the one being looked at with such fearful eyes. But truly, what had she ever done to earn herself such a look? And from him? She had suffered all on her own, it boiled her blood that he would even for a second act like it had been the other way around. Perhaps he had seen the erupting, scarlet flames in her eyes? Perhaps, her hot glare had intimidated him? As his reflection burned her orbs, Soon-ok’s nails dug into her palm as her hands closed up into fists, trying to contain the raging anger thundering throughout her body. 

He should be scared, she thought. He had left her with a child, silently letting her know that the love he had sworn to her, had truly never existed. The least he could do was to be ashamed of his actions.

The two exes were equally stunned as the male approached the pregnant woman slowly. Steps were careful and light, resembling the ones of a wary cat as if to not scare her away- although he was the one looking terrified. Were the memories of their life together overflowing his mind as he drank her in like that? Was that why his expression seemed to soften the closer he got? That wasn’t the case for Soon-ok. She was suffering, living every disappointing word he uttered towards her, all over again, picking her heart apart piece by piece as she convinced herself the hard times were going to be worth it.

How could she have been so foolish? She would never forget the first thing he had asked her once she had announced the news of her pregnancy to him. The words that had officially destroyed her, tearing her down like an old, unwanted building. The words that till this day, contorted her heart in pain and induced tears to gather in her eyes.

He had hurt her so much, she never treated him like that. She would never treat herself so poorly, much less let anyone treat her like that ever again. It was an oath to herself and the new life growing within her. 

Seojun’s orbs were trembling once he stood in front of her, his gaze taking in every millimeter of her figure before him. Had this been just a month prior, her heart would’ve skipped a beat. But now it was nervously thundering against her ribcage, wanting to escape, and Soon-ok hoped it was only so it could strangle him. 

“Soon-ok ah,” he breathed out, and Soon-ok hated how she felt herself slowly falling apart at just the sound of his voice that she had oh so longed for. She wanted to despise it, but it was just as beautiful as she remembered it. Her breath stilled while her already murderous expression darkened even more if it was even possible.

Once again she wondered why God had let this happen after so much time, she wanted nothing to do with him, and yet there he was, looking at her like that. Who would have ever thought that she would have met him like this? During her working hours, attending her rival that had entered the camera shop beforehand. If it hadn’t been for Seojun, she would have been inside the shop, evaluating cameras to get for their project with Baekhyun, with fresh AC air blowing into her neck instead of this unbearable heat. 

As she let her name hang heavily in the air, Soon-ok hadn’t noticed how her project partner had walked out of the store when he had noticed that she wasn’t following him. Baekhyun had halted in his steps for the shortest moment when his eyes had caught the figure of another man trying to speak with her. For a moment, he was worried for her, but seeing the murderous look on her features told him that the unknown male was probably more in danger than she could ever have been. Making up his mind, the rival approached the woman silently, not knowing why his body had acted so protectively when he pressed his chest against her back to let her know that he was there with her. 

“Seojun,” Scowled Soon-ok, not minding that her rival was standing so close in front of her ex. Hence, his presence gave her a sense of ease that she never thought she would find next to him. The way Seojun’s gaze switched to the man next to her with disbelief did not go unnoticed by the enraged lady. Something shifted within his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat, the man finally decided to say something.

Seojun eyed her stomach, not looking the slightest surprised to see that it was different from the last time they spoke to each other. He gave a little nod of his head and locked their gazes.

“So you..” He trailed off, “You kept it?” Seojun ended up stating the obvious, which irritated Soon-ok greatly. She scoffed but didn’t provide him with an answer since her standing there in front of him, looking the way she did should have been enough. The ex-boyfriend shifted a little uncomfortably but nonetheless attempted once more to converse with the person he used to call his woman. Taking in a shaky breath, he spoke. 

“How...How is the child then?” He asked gently, peering at her from underneath his lashes, not having the courage to look at her directly and Soon-ok could feel it in his demeanor, she knew why. He probably didn’t feel like he really had any right to ask that question. But he still did, and it urged the woman to sigh loudly through her nose, closing her eyes for a few seconds. It didn’t really help to contain the anger she felt as much as she had hoped it would.

Soon-ok gritted through her teeth. "What makes you think you have the slightest right to know?" her voice was dark and threatening, the skin of her palms was turning paperwhite underneath the cage of her fingers. Baekhyun placed a calming hand on her waist, pushing her gently closer to himself, hoping that it would do anything to make her feel okay, but he wasn’t so sure. The strong emotions going through the woman reflected in her beautiful eyes that had always been like the mirrors of her heart, her feelings radiating right of her body. She looked ever so enraged. 

Despite that, Baekhyun hadn’t missed it. He had noticed the way her fingers trembled helplessly before she had tightened her fingers into her palms.

“Soon-ok-” Seojun pleaded, and for a second time, and yet Soon-ok was distracted by how the wind had gently brushed through his soft locks, but before she could be trapped in another nostalgic memory she averted her eyes to his again.

“I’m sorry for what I did back then I-” It seemed as if he had a hard time finding the right words and neither Soon-ok nor Baekhyun could pinpoint whether the emotions of regret on his features were genuine or not. Was he really sorry? Did he really regret what he did...or did he just want to feel better about himself?

“I should have helped you, made sure you’re fine I-”

“Honey?” Seojun’s rant was interrupted midway by the gentle voice of another woman that soon appeared next to him. The breath stilled in Soon-ok’s lungs, she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to scream, laugh or cry desperately. It wasn’t the fact that the woman next to him was ever so beautiful, with delicate features and a gentle aura surrounding her that bothered Soon-ok. Well...Maybe a little, she hadn’t been able to help herself when she remarked how this woman was everything she was not.

His new lover questioned worriedly, “What’s going on, love?” And placed a hand on Seojun’s shoulder as he looked rather shaken up himself. Baekhyun was also analyzing the messy situation, intensely shifting his orbs from the unknown woman to Soon-ok’s ex, not saying a single word. From the looks of it, it seemed like the man had already unveiled every card on the table despite never having any proper explanations. The silence was deafening although the group was standing outdoors, every sound deriving from around felt like it had been suppressed underneath the pressure of the heavy conversation.

However, that silence was soon shattered like glass by the choked-up chuckle leaving Soon-ok’s lips, disbelief and shock dripped from her voice. Six pairs of eyes fell on her, only to find an almost crazed expression sitting on her features. A disbelieved hand reached for her face as she let out another incredulous laughter. Her eyes had gone wide, visibly glossy to all of them, though she didn’t care about the overflowing attention. All Soon-ok could really focus on was the supporting hand Seojun’s woman held on her womb. It was subtle, way more subtle than hers, but a pregnant woman could recognize another. Suddenly, it was as if all the blood had drained from her head, making the world spin uncontrollably. But Soon-ok wouldn’t have minded if the ground had disappeared from her feet in that moment of realization.

Her lips had started vibrating tremendously as she desperately attempted to find her voice.

“I can’t believe this,” Soon-ok gasped for air. “you actually-” She sobbed, ragged breaths puffing her aching chest and leaving her trembling lips. She was no longer able to mask the wrenching pain spreading in her whole body. 

Just when she had managed to get over the fact that he had probably never truly loved her, more secrets unveiled before her, things she wished she had never known. Her broken gaze shakily searched for Seojun’s, begging for the littlest hint that she was misunderstanding everything. But his eyes were solely apologetic for what she had just discovered.

“Soon- I’m sorry, I just…” He pleaded, but the ex cut him off before he could begin to ramble useless excuses.

“You just, what. Seojun!?” Soon-ok retaliated, overflowing with the familiar sensation of slowly losing herself to the strength of her indomitable emotions. Her voice had raised beyond her control, startling the clueless and frightened girlfriend. Soon-ok thought she had said goodbye to the dark feelings seeping into her chest long ago, but once again there she was, letting them slowly consume her away as she glared at the man that had broken her in so many ways. She didn’t want to be this kind of person, she wanted it to stop. She wanted to leave him there and never see him again. She wanted to be strong. But why was it so damn hard? Why did her body insist on giving him a piece of her mind? Her lips longed to make the things he did to her known to the whole world- to ruin him just as much.

Her lips parted, taking in a breath to prepare before speaking, but before she could even let out the carbon oxide, her actions were stopped by a strong hand enveloping around hers. Suddenly she was being dragged away from the scene, the view of Baekhyun’s broad back guiding her way to a quiet corner dilated her pupils. Soon-ok was too shocked, too tired to even utter a noise of protest. Baekhyun halted his steps once they were far from any distraction. The lump in was suffocating her, and badly so. She just wanted to cry, cry out every single tear her body had to offer, and never go through it again. All of this was so bad for her baby.

Meanwhile, her rival faced her with his body, gently waiting for her to say something. But what was there to say? She couldn’t even bring herself to look at him. What kind of rival would she be to show herself in such vulnerability once again? The tears in her eyes were too thick, too obvious, burning with their saltiness into the skin of her cheeks. A little sniffle that she hadn’t been able to help left her lips, and she wanted to disappear. Baekhyun was probably very bothered by this whole ordeal happening during their working hours and now he was stuck with her. She was wasting their time. How more useless could she get? 

Soon-ok’s breath hitched in when Baekhyun once again, did the unexpected and placed a careful hand on her cheek, tracing the tear that had escaped her eye away with the pad of his thumb. It was warm, a gentle bandaid on her cuts. Oh how much she wanted to hate it, but she wished he never would remove his hand.

"Don't do that," He pleaded within a murmur, his eyes darkening as they searched for hers, eyebrows arching with pain. "Don't cry for him, he... He's not even worth a spec of your anger." Baekhyun whispered brokenly, his thumb had unconsciously started caressing the apple of her cheek, the warm touch created an unknown kind of friction to bestow in her, sending shivers down her body.

The woman finally dared herself to meet his gaze, only to feel her breath falter once again at the golden intensity swimming within his dark oceans. Teeth drilled deep into her trembling lip as she tried to swallow down the cries bubbling in . It was futile, all it had taken her was one sob to completely lose control over her body. Her cries were endless and Baekhyun was no longer more than a blur in her teary eyes.

"You don't understand Baekhyun," he hiccuped on his name. "I kept this child within me thinking it was the best thing to do... And I'm not regretting it but every time I think of him I just can't help but remember that this child will be stripped of their right to a father, and it'll be just me. I feel so angry, so lonely...It’ll be just me." Her eyes wandered across his features that today seemed to carry nothing but genuine worry and care in her regards. Soon-ok felt confused as to why Baekhyun was once again being so gentle, looking at her with such eyes, as if he wanted nothing but to follow her wherever she went through.

“Will I ever be good enough?” Wailed Soon-ok, prompting Baekhyun’s touch to stray away from her cheek. A gush of cold replaced the warmth of his hand. Before she knew it, the comforting heat that had been on her cheek was now embracing her body from every angle. Baekhyun had tenderly circled his arm around her shoulders while the other hand curled around her waist, pulling her to his chest, letting her feel the core of that warmth that she yearned for so much. His scent, his touch, his temperature- was everywhere Soon-ok could detect. Musk and rain swirled her senses immensely, but as always, despite herself, the woman secretly welcomed it through her deep inhales against the fabric of his shirt.

"You're not alone…” He breathily spoke down her neck, mindlessly a soothing hand through her hair. “I'm here, aren't I?" The words only made the girl erupt in disbelieved laughter, puzzling the male when she immediately put a distance between them, her hands on his chest as she pushed him away. Soon-ok shook her head frantically, once again looking into his eyes- only to regret it for the umpteenth time. They were too deep, too complex and no matter how much she tried, she would always end up getting lost. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. 

"What are you saying Baekhyun... We are rivals. I hate you and you hate me, we, what-" 

“Shh,” Baekhyun hushed her before she could lose her mind all over again. She was confused, too many things were happening all at once and Baekhyun understood that this new approach between them wasn’t exactly easy to swallow. It was the same for him after all. Everything was just a swirling storm within his head, an untamable ocean in his pounding chest. To which the view was obfuscated, all he really found himself doing was acting on these strong impulses to...Have her close to himself.

"Then just for today,” He proposed, “let's pretend that I'm not Baekhyun,” His voice was just a tender whisper caressing her ears as he attempted to close the distance once again. Baekhyun’s gaze was droopy, filled to the brim with something Soon-ok could only describe as pure comfort and softness. “And you're not Soon-ok." He breathed out, caressing the apple of her cheek with his knuckles, tickling her skin as if a light, playful feather. Her heart skipped a beat, more tears welled in her eyes. She couldn’t take it anymore.

With a sigh, Soon-ok allowed the male to welcome her into his embrace once again as she hid her face into his shirt, secretly melting into the scent of his fabric softener- into the softness of his body against hers. Closing her eyes, she repeatedly told herself that she was letting this happen just this once, only because she didn’t want him to see her cry any more than he already had.

It was such a ridiculous excuse though, she was softening up to him and she didn't know when she had even started to allow it.

Live jazz music filled the luxurious mansion, expensive drinks were being served in crystal glasses, and soft chatters blurred into the background. Another mundane party was thrown by his stepmom to make sure that their contacts were still intact and would be for a long time on. Judging by the contentedness coating their guests’ faces, Baekhyun could only guess that it was doing the job. He himself was getting tired of having to hold up this dumb facade of a happy and obedient son. He was anything but, and for all the right reasons. 

In the corner of the lounging room was his father, cornered by important businessmen, carrying what seemed like a lighthearted conversation, but the reality was that he had never witnessed anything faker than that. The plastic smiles on their faces screamed nothing but lust for more and more wealth. He couldn't wrap his finger around that whole concept. When were these people ever going to get enough? Didn't they realize that they weren't going to take all that money with them down to the grave? And his father. It afflicted Baekhyun with great pain in the chest, to see that his father blended into that group of people so well. He could barely recognize him anymore.

He wasn't like that. The Byun Sungwoo that Baekhyun had grown up with, was no longer there. 

“Byun Baekhyun?” A familiar voice called for him, and the man couldn’t believe himself when the image of Soon-ok had flashed before his eyes, although the woman waiting for him hadn’t been her. The voice had been completely different as well, he truly was hitting the rock bottom with this. That woman had refused to leave his thoughts ever since he had held her in his arms. Something that Baekhyun was never going to admit to himself, was that perhaps- no, probably, it hadn’t been her. It had been him refusing to let her go.

“Jinah?” Baekhyun’s eyebrows raised with surprise at the unexpected guest. “What are you doing here?” He queried after offering her his arm. 

“I’m here with my father!” The younger lady explained excitedly and almost a little shyly curled her slender fingers around his forearm, biting down onto her lipstick-coated lips. t Baekhyun’s action had been completely unexpected, she had never known she’d get to face the man elsewhere than behind his desk back at the office. And now, with his face so up close, she could finally admire his beauty from up close- the timber of his soft-spoken voice now closer to her ears. Before she knew it, warmth was gathering on her cheeks. “I had no idea my and your father had business in common,” She hummed thoughtfully, gently pushing the long portion of hair resting on her chest behind he