So if I love you, It’d be just for you, So when I’m touching you-

Can I trust you?

Warm, insufferable, drops of sweat trickled down the exhausted Soon-ok’s temple when she stormed through the door of the rented conference room. Her breath was ragged and short, the growing belly had become so much heavier and soon she wouldn’t be able to do all the things she was doing now. The woman was waving one hand in front of her face in an attempt to create a soft breeze to soothe her boiling skin but to no avail. This certain room was not graced by the luxury of conditioned air, and the young summer had begun with its unbearable heat hours.

It was late, she and Baekhyun should have met up a little more than ten minutes ago, but surprisingly, there was no trace of the male. Soon-ok settled herself in the meantime, taking out her newest sketches and notes for the upcoming project. Although her mind-maps and sketches laid before her, ready to be used and developed, while unpacking the bag, Soon-ok had suddenly paid attention to herself. 

The woman couldn’t bring herself to even touch the pen in front of her. Somehow, it had suddenly dawned on her how long, how large the dress she was wearing was. Shaking hands reached out for the fabric covering her legs, dragging the fistfuls to behind her waist, allowing the dress to tighten around her body. 

A lump formed in upon viewing the true size of her belly. When her trembling fingertips went over it, its comforting warmth seeped through the texture of her dress, just to connect with her directly. Soon-ok for the first time came to realize how it wasn’t just any warmth. It was someone else’s. Someone whom she hadn’t met yet, but nonetheless, was the one closest to her. 

The one closest to her heart, someone who had been protecting it throughout the many injustices, hence, she couldn’t help but believe that the beautiful blossom within her had picked up the pieces of her heartbreak, putting them together with its gentle petals.

The lump gradually grew when a familiar wetness began to sting behind her eyelids as she caressed her belly softly. 

“It’ll only be me and you,” She whispered and her voice got caught in , teeth furiously drilling into her trembling lips, the taste of salt melting on her tongue, “I hope you’re okay with that. I hope I can be good for you.” She, Park Soon-ok, was about to become a mother. But she had no one. 

“I am so sorry,” Her child was going to grow up without a father and all she could bring herself to think about was the haunting question as to whether she would ever be enough. Would she ever be a good mother? She who for so long had been so immersed in her own work, in her own surroundings that she had in many occasions forgotten that there was a blooming flower within her. One that she couldn’t allow to wither at all costs. 

She was its source of life. Though, Soon-ok knew that if she hadn’t had this life growing within her, she would have been the epitome of emptiness, walking without a purpose in this cruel world, probably still crying over the man that had mercilessly ripped her heart to shreds.

Everything was falling upon her as if the pressure of a waterfall crashing onto her .

She tried to contain her tears, she tried to not let out the sob that was hiding behind her quivering lips. But it was too late. Before she had known it, her heart had sped up while loud cries left . “Oh my God,” Her whole body shook along with the rhythm of her sorrow as she clumsily reached for her phone, dialing the number that she knew by heart. Sehun answered right away, not giving the woman a chance to catch her shortening breath. His worried voice resounded in her ear when all he got to hear was her uncontrollable sobs.

“Sehun-ah,” Soon-ok wailed unintentionally, but it had felt like his name past her lips could have been the closest thing to a grasp of comfort. Internally, she asked herself whether she would be able to say more than so. Though, as of now, just getting to hear his breathing next to her felt soothing, like a tender blow onto her scars. She closed her eyes and with much struggle tried to catch her breath between the choking sobs stealing the oxygen in her lungs.

“Hey, hey,” Sehun had murmured gently, wishing that he could’ve been there physically. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” He soothed, “ I am here.” He reassured, and for a moment, she believed he had been crouching next to her, ready to take her into his strong arms, but the scent of ink and electronics would always be there to shatter the comforting pictures embracing her in her mind.

“I just,” Soon-ok had to halt herself to take another trembling breath, “I Am-” She hiccuped. It was all futile, her tongue refused to form any sentence as her voice was taken by her infinite cries. Cries that clenched her heart and shook her body tremendously. Soon-ok couldn’t see anything as her tears distorted her view. The best friend waited patiently for Soon-ok to find her words, knowing that perhaps she wouldn’t be able to find them at all, but that was fine as well.

“I can’t...I just...I’m sorry for bothering-” 

“Soon-ok, “ Sehun cut her off before she could say something derogatory towards herself. “You know I love you, and I’ll always be here for you. You can call me whenever you want, even if you don’t know what to say. I want you to.” His words were like the soft caresses she yearned to feel on the crown of her hair, Soon-ok could only cry louder at the gentleness of her friend who truly, always, knew what to say and how to comfort her. Although her tears doubled after what he had said, they were now more of a relief.

“It’s okay,” Sehun continued to comfort his best friend as she let her emotions slowly seep out of her. Soon-ok had just begun to calm down when the door suddenly opened with a loud noise and instinctively, the girl whispered a quick: “I have to go!” Before ending the call unexpectedly, though allowing Sehun to sneak back to his work. 

Soon-ok ran her sleeves across the delicate skin of her cheeks to dry her tears, breathing harder to stop the snot from dripping down her nose. “Are you okay?” a breath that she didn’t know she had been holding tumbled down her lips. Shaky and slightly louder than intended, nonetheless, Soon-ok could only remark how relieved she was to hear the voice of Song Jinah instead of Baekhyun.

A careful, and somehow amiable hand landed on  Soon-ok’s shoulder followed by the scent of honey shampoo emanating from her colleague’s long hair washed over her. 

“It sounded like you were crying,” Jinah confessed quietly, almost shyly even.

 “And I wanted to see if you were okay- but if you want me to leave it’s also okay and-” Despite her state, Soon-ok couldn’t help the little chuckle that the younger one had prompted although unintentionally. Jinah halted her rambling upon hearing Soon-ok’s sudden laugh and broke into a shy smile, a little question mark hung above her head, not really knowing what she was smiling at but happy to see her friend wear a lighter expression.

“Do you need to vent?” Jinah cocked her head to the side with an inviting, gentle expression on her features, however, Soon-ok shook her head while still wearing a smile. 

“It’s all fine now,” She hummed contentedly and Jinah couldn’t help but let her gaze wander down, carefully taking in the way Soon-ok’s hands were constantly resting on top of her stomach, rubbing it repeatedly, as if a motion of reassurance.

“You’re amazing, Song Jinah.” Soon-ok ended the short silence with a murmur, amusement, and fondness coated her voice like a sheer veil while she let her eyes focus outside of the window, where the blue immensity reflected in her glossy orbs.

“Huh?” Jinah shifted curiously in her seat, leaning closer as the woman had unconsciously started speaking lower. “How so?” She wondered with her pupils dilated with eagerness to know more. Her heart raced excitedly in her chest. 

“Before you came in, I was just wailing my soul out,” Soon-ok laughed at her own self while reminiscing, “Then you sat down and all you did was ramble and ramble,” Her hands left the subtle baby bump just to gesticulate in a circular motion before turning her head to face the younger girl. “And it cheered me up.” Jinah’s eyes widened once more, and suddenly it looked as if they had stolen the universe to reside within them, the glistening emotion revealed the entire galaxy when Soon-ok’s joyful, yet thankful, crescents were directed to hers.

“I’m happy I could do that for you.” The younger one beamed.

***

The aching in Baekhyun’s throat reminded him constantly of the fight he had just had with the woman he was supposed to call mother. Her high-pitched voice ringed like obnoxious alarm clocks in his ears. Her pleading timbre, begging him to let go of the most important thing in his life. The expression in her eyes that he absolutely despised, and his father standing mute in the corner of their living room, as if any emotional tie had been cut years and years ago, there wasn’t even a trace of them. Just the thought prompted his fingers to curl into fists, his nails leaving marks inside of his palm as he pressed them closer.

“Why are you so insistent with this? Why can’t you give us a chance!?” She had cried desperately, and the young man had to give it to her for constantly trying to change his mind, compared to his emotionless father who had stopped connecting with his son ever since that day. Though Baekhyun hadn’t been able to help the mirthless laugh that had boomed in the luxurious space. 

Us? What was us? Baekhyun had for a long time believed he had lost everything he had. He found it so humorous how everyone suddenly seemed to know even a single thing about him, especially in the moments he dared to make decisions that didn’t profit them. 

Everyone seemed to know him so well except for himself, Baekhyun, who had barely decided who he wanted to be. 

He had a clear plan in his head, but it always seemed to float further away from him, the harder he tried. As if a feather, by now caught by the wind and impossible to reach with his bare hands. Sometimes he wondered if it was meant to be- but he truly wanted to make it... for her.

I know what I want, he had said to himself, a pair of words that would daily cloud his thoughts, only to be met by the hurtful truth.

He didn’t know anything, nothing at all. He felt as if he was made out of the sand, building his way with his bare hands, but it was so extremely weak and constantly crumbled underneath his weight, and then he would find himself with his arms falling limp next to his sides.  Strong, weak, he was everything in the middle of it. Nothing at all.

***

The chair next to Soon-ok was vacant, Jinah had left for her desk just a few minutes ago when the door suddenly burst open. The breath hitched inside of the pregnant woman’s throat when she realized that the footsteps hurrying inside were too heavy to belong to her friend. Within a few seconds, Soon-ok had recognized the continuous stressful pants as Baekhyun catching his breath followed by the noise of his jacket being swiftly shrugged off. She stilled in her seat, aware that the salty stains of her tears were very much visible on her red cheeks. 

“Sorry for being late,” He had muttered the apology rashly, still stressed out despite being in the office and being allowed to be at ease. Soon-ok only let out a distant hum, not wanting the male to see her red eyes and eventually ask anything about it. Knowing Baekhyun, she wouldn’t know why he would care if she cried, on the other side, if there was an opportunity for him to mock her he would take it, and she was simply too tired to deal with him.

The woman was caught off guard when suddenly, an arm placed itself by the side of her head, a beautiful hand landing next to her working one on the desk. A scent of rain and pinewood embraced her senses as if a soft blanket being draped on her shoulders, and a frown kissed her forehead at the shiver that ran down her spine. Baekhyun had leaned over her shoulder to observe the papers she had been working on, however, regretting his actions immediately when he noticed how close her body was to his. The crown of her hair was just below him, and all he needed to do was to look down to nuzzle his nose into her hair. His eyes squeezed shut for a while, mentally trying to repress the addicting, sweet smell of strawberries deriving from her hair. His chest brushed against her back and a trembling sigh left her lips, her thighs closing tightly, it felt as if her skin was burning underneath her shirt. Nervous, why was she so nervous at his proximity?

Clearing , Soon-ok made a weak attempt to ignore the warmth suddenly pooling on her cheeks, mentally shooing the butterflies tickling her belly as she hesitantly started telling Baekhyun about the things she had written down. Reading out loud the dialogues that she had come up with, knowing that they would possibly fit well with their ad. Baekhyun was quiet the entire time as she spoke softly, patiently, nodding as a sign that he was listening to everything she was saying. Soon-ok’s heart throbbed painfully when the male leaned slowly down so that his eyes could rest on her face, the pen in her hand trembled along with her fingers.

Once she was done, he leaned away and Soon-ok finally felt at ease, noticing how she had been holding her breath all the while. A sigh of relief tumbled down her lips while Baekhyun crossed his arms over his chest and reminisced about her dialogue.

“I like it,” He murmured gently and took a seat next to hers, making the girl scream on the inside when he had to sit ever so close to her again as if the previous position hadn’t been enough to upset her. “It sounds perfect, except that we could do some touch-ups here and there,” Baekhyun nodded towards her papers but quickly averted his gaze on her. 

“What do you think?” He quired, leaving space for her to disagree with him if she wanted to. But she was happy with his answer and soundlessly bobbed her head, letting the relieved smile blooming on her lips be the answer to his question.

That smile wouldn’t stay on for long as she remarked the way her rival had been baring an unusually soft tone in his voice while speaking to her, confusion twisted her features, but soon she decided to leave such unnecessary thoughts be.

Baekhyun hadn’t missed the way Soon-ok’s eyes were red and slightly swollen, the glassiness indicating that she had cried, and the dried paths of salty water on her cheeks were all he needed to confirm his assumption. At the view, it was as if all of his issues got replaced with questions about who could have caused her tears, his thoughts rushed and he found himself unable to sort out anything of it. His tongue-tied as an outcome of the inner war going on in his mind. A part of him wondered why it would be his business to know? But at the same time, Baekhyun had never considered himself to be that much of a cold man, showing concern wouldn’t suddenly mean that he necessarily wanted to get involved with the woman on a deeper level. Hence he would show that kind of concern to anyone, Soon-ok wasn’t anyone special.

And yet all Baekhyun was able to do was steal uncertain glances from the corner of his eyes as he settled down beside her in the office room where they, as usual, were alone. The words “Did anything happen?” or “Is everything okay?” danced eagerly on his tongue, his vocal cords itching to tell them, but despite so, Baekhyun drilled his teeth deeper onto his lips.

Minutes passed in absolute silence as the two fumbled with their project in concentration, Baekhyun eventually managed to discard the urge to ask the woman about her well-being. Clearing his throat, he slid the sketches of the designs and mind maps he had worked on during his free time closer to the woman for her to see.

“So I came up with a few ideas for how the commercial can look…” Baekhyun initiated the conversation with a soft murmur, afraid that his voice might break whatever calm atmosphere had laid itself upon them like the softest veil. They would always be fighting, bickering, and screaming at each other. But this once, Baekhyun couldn’t help but enjoy the peacefulness, it felt refreshing. His heart swelled in satisfaction at the number of hours they had been working, trapped within the best flow ever. And he hadn’t been the only one to think that.

Minseok and Chanyeol had passed by Baekhyun’s and Soon-ok’s rented office, their loud voices hearable through the thin walls.

“Woah, not a single noise from that office,” Chanyeol had exclaimed while activating the coffee machine, Minseok hummed in agreement. 

“They must have realized that they actually make a great team,” Minseok added cheerfully, it was typical of him to utter such positive words. However on the other side of the wall were the two, with their faces aflame while furiously ignoring the fact that they had both heard the words, but decided not to acknowledge any of it, refusing to give up their competition.

The rivals’ little mental war was interrupted by the door to their office gently peering open, revealing a hesitant Jinah and the two simultaneously let out the breath they had been holding- only to once again stiffen in their seats when realizing their similar actions. They were both secretly happy when Soon-ok was invited by the new girl for some tea break. Quickly the woman left and Baekhyun took the opportunity to completely slack against his chair, wondering what the hell was going on with him. Baekhyun tiredly massaged his temples, reminiscing about his actions, wanting for nothing else but to disappear. He had found himself being ever so cautious as if he didn’t want to upset her, but where the hell did that come from? Since when did he even care about that wench’s feelings?!

“I’ve been craving ice cream so bad!” Soon-ok’s voice boomed from the other side of the wall, and Baekhyun’s mind automatically wandered to the fact that she was pregnant and how she was most likely going through all sorts of things. 

“We should go have some soon!” Jinah suggested with a chuckle, eventually squealing when Soon-ok demanded MC’Donald’s fries with it too. 

“You must taste vanilla ice cream and fries, it’s so good! My mouth is watering.” Baekhyun grimaced to himself at the ridiculous combination leaving his rival and partner’s lips- His eyes focused on nothing in particular, however, his ears remained perked for as long as he could hear their voices discuss by the water boiler.

It mustn’t be easy on her, he thought, especially since she had been trying to keep it a secret with all her might. Baekhyun found himself displaying her figure before his eyes, remembering how she had started wearing undeniably larger clothes recently, succeeding on looking natural while hiding her baby bump.

For a second, he wondered how big it was. But soon wished he had never done that, for the flashback replying in his mind brought nothing but discomfort. Remembering when Soon-ok’s nurse had asked him for a word after the ultrasound. How she had whispered different ways to please his pregnant wife in different ways, into his ear. Baekhyun felt the urge to punch the air in embarrassment because, despite himself, he had imagined it...And the pictures in his head fluttered his chest, speeding his heart rate up.

The sun had set a few hours ago when the two rivals had finally started wrapping up their work. On the other side of the windows’ danced a gentle breeze and the moon was bright, it was still warm enough to wander around without carrying a jacket. The office was shrouded in a silence almost eerie as the two were, as usual, the only ones left.

Baekhyun had been pondering over his words for the next ten minutes, maybe twenty even, he felt like was going crazy. But in the end, he did it. He asked the question he felt too disturbed to ask. “Hey, Park Soon-ok,” Baekhyun blurted, voice gentle yet loud enough to break through the thickness of the silence. The woman whipped her head in his direction.

“What is it, Byun?” Soon-ok hummed, not sounding the least interested in what he had to say. Turning her head away again, she started packing her bag. This casualty, this calmness between them was so unfamiliar, so scary to Baekhyun, a part of him needed things to be as they used to be just a day ago, and quickly, because he wasn’t comfortable with this new change. Despite everything, he was polite when he asked;

“Do you have a ride home tonight?” He finally said the words, feeling like the weight on his shoulders had been partially lifted, but not quite yet. He was glad that she was looking away because his hands were fidgeting like crazy and he couldn’t stop it. What would she think of him now?  “Why is this idiot asking me this?”

The imagination made him want to put his hands in his hair and tear every strand out of his scalp. He couldn’t take a step without second-guessing everything he did.

To his surprise, Soon-ok seemed nonchalant when she simply answered, “Nope, public transport for me,” she chimed in, chuckling a little to herself.

“No,” Baekhyun disagreed softly, not really knowing why or what he had pronounced that two-lettered word for.

“Huh?” Her eyebrows met into a frown as she faced Baekhyun with confusion twisting her features. For a second, the male thought he saw question marks popping above her head. 

“I’ll drive you, it’s late.” Baekhyun left no space for interjections as he had spun on the balls of his heels and left before Soon-ok could even have said anything.

Just moments later, Soon-ok found herself sinking comfortably against the familiar seat of Baehyun’s luxurious car, completely shrouded in the scent of him, and she found it so obnoxious that he would perfume his car like that. Despite that, the woman unconsciously inhaled the fragrance, on and on again.

Baekhyun started the car wordlessly, pulling out of the parking lot and driving away. His lips were pressed into a thin line and his eyes slightly widened as they took in the road before him, Soon-ok noticed the single drop of perspiration trickling slowly down his temple and wondered whether he was okay- perhaps nervous about something? Whatever was going within that big head of his, Soon-ok didn’t dare to ask the man, instead placed her hand on the armrest and skillfully pressed a button. Her actions prompted the window to roll down just a tiny bit, allowing the fresh breeze to squeeze through, and Soon-ok knew she had done well when her rival sighed with relief, his neck craning backward to rest against the cushion, not aware of her gaze. 

The gel in his tresses was more than worn out, and it was a miracle that it was still holding up that amount of hair. Though soon enough, the wind had blown gently, pushing through his brown locks and eventually putting an end to the gel’s effect. Within seconds, the bangs had fallen onto his eyes. To her surprise, the male continued to drive, not minding the ends of his hair tickling the skin of his eyelids.

Long...She remarked, his hair was kind of long.

With a sigh, the woman leaned her cheek onto her palm and tiredly gazed outside the window, the other hand absentmindedly her swollen belly. A frown made its way on her face when Baekhyun took a different route than usual. Soon-ok didn’t even make it in time to question his action when he had already parked outside a bright building, the LED lights cheerfully spelled Gelato, tinting the night in its inviting colors. 

Questioningly, she eyed her rival, eyes slightly wide but Baekhyun just rolled his eyes, snapping at her.

“What?” He gritted, “I want ice cream.” Baekhyun justified himself defensively and stepped out of the car, leaving the girl in slight shock, flabbergasted at what she had just witnessed. Soon-ok didn’t know how to read his actions, nor how to make sense of the fact that he brought her instead of going alone after dropping her off. Nonetheless, the tingling on her tongue made her give in easily, she had wanted ice cream for a while now.

“You should treat me,” Soon-ok teased while nudging his side with her elbow as they scanned through the different flavors. Baekhyun didn’t budge, however, surprised her with the soft agreeing hum he let out.

“What flavors do you want?” Baekhyun murmured, finally placing his gaze upon her figure. Their eyes met almost right away and Soon-ok was thrown off guard by the gentleness swarming like melted gold in his brown orbs. “Vanilla?” He breathed out, eyes traveling across her face for confirmation, causing her heart to skip a beat. How had he known? Why were his eyes looking at her in such a way tonight? Why did his gaze ooze with such warmth? Questions and even more questions had begun swimming endlessly inside of her mind and she almost lost her tongue when confirming Baekhyun’s right guess. 

“Yeah.” She had marveled breathlessly, and the male had simply nodded before turning his body towards the counter, ordering their ice creams.

Neither Baekhyun nor Soon-ok could believe that they were currently sitting next to each other on a bench outside t