After a few days back home with her family, Hyejin was absolutely exhausted. It was a good thing: she was forced to get up at a decent hour and her parents didn’t let her much time to laze around. She still hasn’t told them about her mental health or her worries about her future, but they needed help running errands and they planned a few activities together. Right now, she was fully clothed on her bed, her legs hanging off at the end of it. Her childhood bedroom was now a guest room, her father had even repainted the walls. It looked better this way anyway.

- “Byul-ah, where did you put the gifts for my aunt?” she heard Yonsun yell in the background.

- “They are in your wardrobe honey, I had to take them out the suitcase to get my camera. Byulyi shouted in her ear.

- Yah unnie, I’m still here!”

Byulyi had kept her promise and called her every other day. They usually kept it short, and Hyejin suspected the older one needed these moments to take a break from Yongsun’s family.

- “Sorry! You had a nice Christmas day, Hyejinie?

- Yes, the dinner was amazing. I forgot how much I love my mum’s cooking. I’m falling asleep though, they made me wake up early this morning. We missed a few things to cook, I had to go and buy them.

- Hm, I should take note of this. Hyejin: to be motivated with food. Food can make her wake up early. OK, my notes on you are up to date!

- Yah, your cooking won’t do it, you’re .

- True… notes on my notes: no food cooked by me!

- You’re shameless unnie… Anyway, what are your plans for the next days?”

After explaining that the couple will spend the next day at Yongsun’s aunt then visit Byulyi’s family until the new year, and that Hyejin was thinking on staying there longer than she first intended, they promised they would have a movie night to fully catch up. It was quite rare that they would actually watch a movie on those nights, but who cared. She quickly got ready for bed and texted a quick Merry Christmas again! Movie night with a disgusting couple when we get back? Miss you. Good night! to Wheein before turning off the lights. “I might spend next Christmas with her” was the last thought she had, laying on comfortable silky pillows.

---

She woke up pretty early the next day. Well, not that much, it was 10 a.m. But everyone else was asleep, still digesting the previous day’s feast. Feeling a little restless, she got warmly dressed and went for a walk in her childhood village, revisiting places she used to hang out at. A few memories came back to her, mostly good ones. Even when she recalled having her first kiss at a bus stop. She had felt nothing and couldn’t even remember the boy’s name, but it had boosted her popularity among her fellow middle school friends.

She found her way to the park she would go after school when she was a teenager. It’s where she had her first drink. As she sat down on a bench after making sure it was dry, her brain took her by surprise and reminded her of the dreams she had back then. Dreams that she had tweaked while going to uni, and that she had since repressed. She was getting overwhelmed and pushed the memories away as fast as possible. Right then, her phone rang. It was the perfect distraction.

- “Hi Wheeinie

- Hello!” The voice made her feel like she was sitting under a ray of sun, warming her. “I wasn’t sure if I would find you awake or not, but I’ll be busy later and… yup. I got your message, I’m in for a movie night!

- Great, I wouldn’t survive alone with the two of them. They have become even more disgusting the past few days.

- Right? We talked like two days ago and it was sooo gross. They couldn’t keep their hands off one another. Well, they had been drinking but still…” she grunted. “Must be the countryside air that makes them all lovey-dovey.

- More so the lack of alone time!” Wheein laughter made her smile.

- “What are you doing right now?

- Hum… I’m in a park.” The answer made her anxiety spike back up.

- “You’re in a park.

- Yeah um… I was… walking around…” She had trouble catching her breath.

- “Hyejin-ah? What’s happening?

- “I’m sorry, I… my anxiety is bad right now.

- Hey, hey, take your time, take deep breath. Are you having an attack?”

- After calming herself a little, she could respond honestly: “No, I think it’s going to be ok.

- OK, good.” They both stayed silent for a moment. “I’m not sure what to say now, I feel like asking you about it would make it worst. But also, I feel like not talking about it is not good either.

- Don’t worry Wheein, I understand. I’m not sure what’s the best either. Well, my therapist has an idea but what does she know about it anyways, I’m I right?” she forced out a chuckle.

- “I’m pretty sure she knows more than us.” Wheein was serious now, it didn’t happen often. “What did she tell you?

- That… I couldn’t avoid my worries forever.

- I’m not sure I get it.

- She wants me to let myself think about things that stress me out. My future mostly, that’s what I was thinking about when you called. She even wants to write down lists and .

- Hum, I see. I sound like a decent thing to do? Do you want help with it?

- I don’t know. It just seems stupid. Not now anyway.

- OK… but tell me when the time comes. Now tell me… what did you eat for Christmas?”

They cached up on random things for a few minutes and when she hung up, Hyejin was feeling calmer, even if she cursed herself for not taking coffee on her way out of the house. She knew she had to confront the hopes she had for herself and assess which ones were worth putting work into. She knew that until she did it, she couldn’t make any strategic moves. And she knew that no one would offer her the life she wanted on a plate.

Later that day, settled down on her bed after a long bath with a warm cup of tea, she picked up a pencil and draw again for the first time in months.

***

Three weeks later, Byulyi had informed her landlord she was moving out. It was Saturday and Yongsun and the kids were at her place, helping her to pack up. Well, actually, Wheein was helping her while Yongsun made Hyejin taste her new red-velvet cake recipe.

- “Those two… why did you ask them to come?” Wheein complained, assembling yet another cardboard box.

- It’s her sixth try, I’m glad Hyejin is there to taste it. I don’t think I will ever be able to eat that cake in my life again.

- You could say 'no thanks' when Yongsun-unnie ask you something, you know?

- You are a funny one, kid. I’d like to keep my body parts attached, thank you very much!

- I swear, you are so weak when it comes to women.

- No, I’m not! I’m weak when it comes to Yong.

- What about me? Don’t you love me? Cause I love you veeery much!

- You are an exception, Wheein-ah. Everybody is weak for you. You don’t even have to try!” Byulyi pinched Wheein’s cheek to prove her point.

- So… Can I stop packing?

- Nope. Stop being cute now.

- Ah. I tried at least. I can say I lived my life without regrets. Anyway, when do you have to hand the keys back?

- Last day of January. I’ll move most of my stuff tomorrow and I’ll handle the rest after. I’m not sure what I’ll do with some of the furniture. I might donate them.

- Huhum, sounds like a plan.

- Hey Byulyi-unnie?” Hyejin head popped off the door frame. “I need to head out. You know, my weekly session.

- Oh alright, thank you for… well for keeping Yong’s company, I guess.

- Sure!” Hyejin replied with a mischievous smile before adding: “Could I see you sometime soon? I kinda need your help with something.

- Hum sure, I’m going to be busy this weekend but sometimes in the evening this week?

- That works, just text me when it’s good for you. It’s not like I’m super busy anyway! Thanks, see you later. Bye!” And like that, she was out of the door.

Having no one to distract herself, Yongsun joined the other two and they continued boxing Byulyi’s belonging until late in the afternoon. After insisting on coming back the day after to help them move, Wheein refused to have dinner with the couple and went home to spend time with her cat.

- “That kid, really, is an angel,” said Yongsun while she sat down on Byulyi’s lap.

- “I know…” she kept the answer short, too busy kissing the neck of her partner.

- “Was she tired today? She seemed slightly off.

- Hum. She has her final project presentation next week. She’s stressed about it. And I think things could be better between her and Hyejin.

- Really? We shouldn’t let her help tomorrow then, she should focus on graduating instead.

- You know her hon, she has been ready for days now.

- Why did you say things could be better between the kids?

- Hyejin ask for my help later this week before she left, but she didn’t say why.

- Ho.

- Yeah. Anyway, Wheein reaction was weird. She seemed upset. We were joking around before, but she seemed down after that. I’m not sure what happened.

- God, those two. I hope they will figure it out soon.

- Me too. Come here.” They shared languorous a kiss. “Should… we honour this couch one last time?”

***

1. Find a part-time job. Food money honey!
   • Make a decent resume
   • Make a good enough motivation letter
   • Search for jobs
   • Apply.

Hyejin read the words she had written a few days ago, following her therapist suggestion. Simple, small steps. As she used to when she couldn’t bring herself to study for her exams, she set a 20-minute timer and put a playlist of classical piano music. She then got to work. Her goal for the day: to begin the resume. It took her three and a half hours to finish… the design. She took a break, feeling pretty proud of her results. She could always take the content of the previous one, past it and then update it later. When she was waiting for water to boil, her phone dinged.

I have the afternoon of Wednesday. Still need help?

YES. My place? Yours? I’m going to support Wheein for her presentation, she should be done around 3. Can we do that after?

OK, I’ll meet you at your place. Text me when you’re done over there.

OK mum. Love you!

-_-

After making her tea, she turned her television on. “I Live Alone” was on, perfect. She dug out her abandoned colour pencil case and grabbed her sketching pad, before sitting on the floor, her back resting on the side of the couch.

She woke up in the middle of the night. The TV was still on. Her third cup of tea, half drunk, was cold. Her coffee table full of drawing papers. Her neck and her jaw hurt from the position she had been sleeping in. She lazily put all of her sketches inside the pad, put her cup in the dishwasher and went to bed. Before going back to sleep, she took the time to finish her resume.

1. Find a part-time job. Food money honey!
   • Make a decent resume
   • Make a good enough motivation letter
   • Search for jobs
   • Apply.

Today was a good day.

***

Geriatric club

Ahnyoncé:
Unnies, Wheein crushed it. The jury loved her ideas, and they praised her technique 😊

Our genius is at it again. Tell her we’re proud of her!
Are you heading out @Hyejin?

Yongddonie:
Or don’t? We should surprise her tonight. Maybe I can bake a cake?

Ahnyoncé:
@Yongsun do you have time? Where/when? @Byulyi yeah, I’m going in five. I’m waiting to say bye to wheenie and her mom then I’m on my way

Yongddonie:
Don’t underestimate me! You two will still be at your place in the evening @Hyejin? Maybe invite her over without telling we’ll be there…

Works for me.

Ahnyoncé:
OK, I’ll ask her. She’s coming!
…
Alright, she is spending the afternoon with her mom, she said she will drop by around 6.

Yongddonie:
Perfect! I’ll get to work.

And I’m leaving home now. See u in a bit kid!

Ahnyoncé:
😊

Byulyi rapidly found out why Hyejin requested her help: she needed advice and motivation to work on her job search. As Byulyi had hired a few people in the past, she knew a thing or two about it. The girl had a short list, she found it really cute. The resume she had worked on was pretty on point, as suspected. She played dumb, but the girl had resources. She was smart and had great instinct. Mostly, she underappreciated herself. They worked on the other points on her list: a motivation letter ready to be catered to fit a job description and they brainstormed the type of jobs that would suit Hyejin. By the time they were done, they had picked a few job offers for her to apply for the next day.

- “So I guess that means you’re feeling better?

- Yeah… But without you, I wouldn’t have done this much. Really… thank you.

- Ah, no need, it’s nothing. I’m happy to see you have plans.

- Ooh but I know what to give you as a thank you…” Hyejin suddenly stood up and came closer.

- “No…” Byulyi stood up as well and lifted a finger in her direction, purposely letting a bit of fear appear in her voice.

- “How about…

- Ahn Hyejin, don’t!

- A big hug!!”

And like that, Byulyi became a tree just by the presence of a human-sized koala attached to her.

- “Really, thank you. For today and for everything before. I love you.” The koala’s voiced came out muffled, its owner not breaking the hug.

- “Ha. You’re cute. We’ll be there anytime, Yong and I.

- You didn’t say you loved me.

- Hyejin-aaaah…

- Say it. Please?

-... I love you.

- Mkay. Not sure you meant it. We have a little time before Wheein arrives, movie?”

When Yongsun arrived with the cake, they were in front of the TV, cuddling on the couch. Byulyi tried to answer her girlfriend’s interrogating look with her eyes, and the older one seemed to understand that everything was fine.

Going overboard as usual, Yongsun had brought balloons, confetti’s cannons, and a good amount of beer. They set everything up and, a few minutes before Wheein’s arrival, they turned the light off. When the latter rang the doorbell, Hyejin yelled that the door was unlocked.

- “SURPRIIISE!”

The three of them broke off into their hip version of the congratulation song, Wheein dancing along in her usual, goofy style.

They all hugged, ate, drank, laughed, drank, cried, danced and laughed again. When Byulyi saw that Yongsun was gone, she stopped drinking. Hyejin was wasted as well and was overly affectionate. Wheein wasn’t exactly fresh anymore, but she had always been a good drinker. Early in the morning, she tucked Hyejin in her bed. On her desk was the notebook Hyejin used earlier, when they were working on job applications. She found the page of the list.

1. Find a part-time job. Food money honey!
   • Make a decent resume
   • Make a good enough motivation letter
   • Search for jobs
   • Apply.

She went back to the living room to settle a whining Wheein on the couch, finding her a warm blanket. After making sure they both had water in reach, she went home with her beautiful sleeping half, who will for sure call in sick the next morning. On the way, her mind went back to the list, wondering what the second part of the girl’s plan was. Did she only know herself? Did it matter? Hyejin was taking steps and that was what mattered.

Today was a great day.