“Does this look okay?”

“I don’t have a good feeling about this, Jinsoul.” Sooyoung sighs, turning around on her swivel chair to look at her best friend. “I mean, meeting in public definitely puts me at ease a little but still…”

Well, as long as the lunch isn’t behind closed doors or back in their family home, Jinsoul can still count on the public to do something about it if her parents begin to start hammering down on her again. It to be in a position like this, without any semblance of power or respect in her own household. People with normal families are supposed to feel loved and safe with their family with them but Jinsoul feels the exact opposite. In fact, she feels as if she’s sitting on a ticking time bomb in their presence – at any given time, her father could snap like he did the other day over her poor attendance and grades.

“What can I do anyway, Soo? I really don’t want any more trouble or risk being blamed for anything when there are clear instructions. No need for another dose of humiliation in school again.” Jinsoul shrugs.

Everything about their family dynamics screams a red flag, Sooyoung thinks. Actually, scratch that, she knows for a fact that families do not operate like this. She is blessed with a loving sister and parents along with her grandmother who brought her up; Haseul’s parents aren’t as open with affection and the likes but she also spends quality time with them every week.

Why should Jinsoul’s family be worlds apart?

Sooyoung grabs Jinsoul by the hip, looking up at the younger with an uncommon pensive gaze. She means business, and Jinsoul needs to know that. “Do not let them lay a hand on you, I mean it. The moment I get any proof, I will be taking matters into my own hands.”

If Jinsoul has a moment of weakness hearing that protectiveness over her, it doesn’t show up on her expression. Her eyes do the talking for now, appreciative of Sooyoung’s love for her. Truthfully, both Sooyoung and Haseul come from equally powerful families, one significantly more discreet than the other – nonetheless, powerful enough to take over Jinsoul’s. If she wants to cut ties with her parents, then all she has to do is say the word and it won’t take long for the family business to crumble. The only thing stopping her is gratitude… what she owes to her parents.

Without them, she won’t be here today.

If she isn’t here, then… she would have never met Haseul, Sooyoung and of course… Jungeun herself.

“Look, I got you. So just… call me if you need anything, please.”

“I know…” Jinsoul smiles, lifting a hand to ruffle her best friend’s hair. She knows it’s concerning and worrying, especially since they’ve witnessed things like this happen over the course of their childhood and now still.

Hell, Jinsoul knows she’ll do anything to get her friends out of that situation if ever.

Why wouldn’t they feel the same way?

 

hey, unnie

i know you’re meeting your dad today but please…

 be safe

don’t worry, jungeun

ill be fine

 

If Jungeun was here with her right now, she’d definitely tell Jinsoul not to patronize her by any means. She doesn’t like receiving a false sense of assurance because the disappointment is always greater tenfold.  Jinsoul can imagine the whole conversation going down that road and she can’t help but smile; Jungeun changes things without even knowing.

“Hey, Soo? Go spend some time with Seulie. Maybe we can all meet at the theatre tonight and go for a movie marathon?”

“That sounds great.” Sooyoung’s eyes are in crescents, smile so wide that it outshines the sun. She’s just grateful that Jinsoul’s first instinct isn’t to isolate herself from everyone like she used to do.

With that, Jinsoul takes her leave.

 

are you nervous?

and don’t lie to me

a little

you already saw what it’s like with them

that day at the office, I mean

 

 

Jungeun wishes she didn’t remember it like the back of her palm, honestly. It makes her heart ache whenever she imagines what else Jinsoul had to endure growing up. To make things even worse, she can’t resist comparing her own childhood to the other’s. One thing about society and life is that grass will always be greener on the other side but their situations can’t even be compared that way. To Jinsoul, perhaps that kind of result isn’t achievable in her lifetime and Jungeun detests that. The girl deserves to be loved unconditionally and given happiness, as everyone is entitled to.

When her phone rings, Jungeun can barely force the smile down.

“Unnie…”

“Hey… I just wanted to ask you out tonight. Um… Haseul, Sooyoung and I are planning to go for a movie marathon so I want you to come too. I’ll bring you home after the movie, if your parents are worried.”

“Let me just ask really quick, Unnie. It should be okay… one second.”

Jungeun practically skips her way to the living room, over the moon at the invite. It’s definitely one step closer to whatever this is between them. She doesn’t even dare to hope for a serious or official relationship, just being beside Jinsoul is more than enough for now.

“Mom, can I go to the movies tonight?”

Mrs. Kim is half expecting her daughter to say Jiwoo again, which is fine but gosh… she has no friends. She continues doing her crossword puzzle with a pair of reading glasses perched on her nose. “Depends. Who with?”

“Um… Jinsoul and her friends.”

The initial sceptics on Mrs. Kim’s face disappears the moment Jungeun says Jinsoul’s name; one might just mistake her as the one going on a date with Jinsoul.

“OF COURSE! PLEASE TAKE MY DAUGHTER OUT AND KEEP HER, JINSOUL!”

Jesus Christ.

Jinsoul’s ears burn to a deep red, both thankful and embarrassed that Jungeun’s mother is supportive of her. In contrast to Mr. Kim, Mrs. Kim is more easy-going and understanding – that night Jungeun passed out and had to be admitted to the hospital says a lot. Not that she’s blaming Mr. Kim for anything at all, it’s absolutely normal to freak and blame her for it. It just feels good when she realises one of Jungeun’s closest family members trust her… it’s a completely different feeling from her own parents. Over all of that comfort, Jinsoul feels envious.

“I’ll definitely bring her home safely, Auntie. You have a good day ahead.”

Mrs. Kim watches with an amused look as Jungeun continues to mumble into the phone, shielding as if there are any secrets to hide in the first place. This is very out of character for her tsundere daughter, but a welcome change nonetheless.

“Mom… what was that about?”

“Well, what can I say?” Mrs. Kim shrugs her shoulders carelessly, feigning an innocent expression to get her daughter to cool it. If her husband were here, he’d be poking her to object to her actions. “I like Jinsoul and I think she’s pretty.”

“She’s mine.”

As funny as this is, Mrs. Kim feels like she needs to make things clear to her daughter – Jungeun literally looks as if she’s going to burst a blood cell. “Girl, please. I have a fantastic, handsome husband who loves me. I just said she was cute, not stealing her away from you.”

Jungeun tries to play off her obvious blush, throwing herself onto the sofa. She is excited for their date tonight – if she can call it that, at least – with Jinsoul’s friends. The first step to getting into their good books is showing them that she can definitely be there for Jinsoul. After experiencing how protective Haseul is of the latter, Jungeun was actually pissed off that she was subject to distrust like that but that day at the principal’s office changed everything beyond comprehension.

“Honey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine… Just worried about Unnie. She’s meeting her parents for lunch today and well; I told you about her parents and my thoughts.” Jungeun mumbles, pinching the bridge of her nose.

One of the only reasons why Mrs. Kim doesn’t want to overstep and encourage Jungeun’s suspicions is because after all, she only knows what happens on the surface of things. If it’s a misunderstanding and Jungeun is truly in the wrong, God knows if she’ll ever be able to stand as Jinsoul’s partner in the future. Not to mention that family matters are usually best settled within the family… sometimes, it’s better that way.

Taking her daughter’s hand into her own, Mrs. Kim presses a kiss onto the back of her palm. “Sweetheart, you can always ask her how things go when you see her tonight so try not to overthink this. I know it’s hard but being there for her will definitely mean something, so you do that.”  

“If I bring her home, Mom… will you promise to love her like you love me?”

“Oh, my sweet angel. Of course, I will.” Mrs. Kim sighs, eyes a little teary at Jungeun’s words. She doesn’t even want to know what Jinsoul goes through because as a mother who is affectionate and loving, it’s going to be infuriating.

If Jinsoul’s parents don’t know how to love, then Mrs. Kim will do the loving in their stead.

 

*

 

“What are you planning to do after graduation?”

For the first time during the meal, Mrs. Jung finally speaks up and looks at Jinsoul in the eye. She usually can’t be bothered to look at her face or even give her the time of day, so her answer might impact the family in the future. Mr. Jung, on the other hand, tends to have a stone-cold gaze that scares the living daylights out of her. Whenever her father opens his mouth, it’s usually to say something hurtful or spiteful; there’s a line between blunt and just plain rude, it’s the latter ninety-five percent of the time.

“U-Um… I haven’t really thought about it yet…” Jinsoul mumbles, eyes fixated on her lap. She barely touched her food, only pinching and nibbling at her appetiser and main course throughout the meal.

“Well, start planning for your future. Money doesn’t fall from the sky.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Silence engulfs the dysfunctional family again, a suffocating environment to be in for everyone at the table – even if Jinsoul is the only one who goes through the discomfort by leaps and bounds. She sees her parents a total of five times a year probably, and they still inflict so much fear in her. Living under their thumbs have only made Jinsoul cower and conform to their demands that she lost herself, lost that bright personality she possessed as a child. Childhood was fun, games and good memories but Jinsoul watched all of that from behind an imaginary box.

Being forced into instruments, extracurriculars and parties with business partners’ snobby children… It feels degrading. The way they all stare at her as if she’s some sort of prey, ready to get eaten up is just annoying.  

Mrs. Jung puts down her fork all of a sudden, eyes flicking up at Jinsoul in an incriminating fashion. “Your father and I were thinking that you should join the company, actually. That way, we can pass down the family business and you also have a job.”

It sounds like a walk in the garden now, but Jinsoul knows better; there is certainly a reason behind this grand offer, if she can even call it that. There is a catch in things offered to her just like that; it’s been that way before so it’s the same now.

“In return for what?”

“Do you remember the Kims?”

Jinsoul wrecks her brain for answers but nothing comes to mind, not even a name or face of any sort. “Not really, no. Do we know them well?”

“You used to play with their son. He’s about a year older than you.”

It’s unbelievably lucky that Jinsoul is sitting down right now because her legs would have given away and she'd have collapsed if she was standing. She doesn’t need or want to know where her mother is going with this conversation anymore, her gut tells her she won’t like this piece of news.

“I don’t want to get married, or be in an arranged marriage.”

If either of her parents show any sign of shock, their expressions don't even falter for a split second. Jinsoul’s hands are clenched into fists by her side, unconsciously getting breathless at her thoughts running wild.

“Marriage? What are y