I sighed deeply. Trying to calm myself down. 

 "You can do this, Giselle" I said to my self. 

Hello, I'm Giselle Uchinaga. 25 years of age. You must be wondering why I am so nervous.

This is the day Ning and ......I have been waiting for.

I wonder if she's already at the Church. 

I stood up and walk back and forth, trying to shake off the anxiety creeping up to me.

I've been spacing out for almost 5 minutes imagining the scenarios that might happen later.

I flinched when someone suddenly touched my shoulders.

" You look like you held your pee for months now, Gi " Karina said while stifling her laugh.

" You don't know how nervous I am right now, Rina. So shut the up." I said annoyed. She doesn't know how I feel right now. No one knows. Not even ning......

"Woah! chill there tiger. I'm just trying to lift up your mood" Rina said. Probably shocked with how I responded.

" Sorry, i'm just nervous " I said. Trying my best to smile sincerely.

I really am sorry for suddenly bursting out to her. 

" Come on, Gi! Cheer up! Today is a very special day!!" Rina said smiling widely. 

I sighed and smiled. This time genuinely.

She's right. Today is a VERY special day to us.

" You're right. I should enjoy this day and forget the unnecessary thoughts" I told her while smiling widely.

"That's the Gi I know! Always smiling" Rina said happily.

Always smiling...........yeah, because of my smile. This happened. 

Regret and Happiness. That's what i'm feeling right now. So contradicting right? 

The anxiety is kicking back again, .

" Come on ladies. We need to leave now. The organization said the bride is on the way. We need to arrive at the church before her. Especially you, Ms.Giselle" the staff informed us.

" We'll go outside in a minute." I told the staff.

After he left rina suddenly grabbed my hand and put something on it. 

A locket?

" What is this?" I asked her.

" A locket? " she said.

I rolled my eyes, annoyed once again.

" I know it's a locket, Rina. what I mean is what is this for? Why'd you gave this to me? " I asked her confused.

"Remember when we were still in highschool? " rina said.

" How the would I remember, Rina? that was like 7 or 8 years ago" I said.  Annoyance is very evident in my voice.

" Let me finish first and please stop cussing" Rina said. Rolling her eyes.

" Coming from someone whose girlfriend is a gangster who acts like cussing is a water" I said smirking cause I know I pissed her off.

" Shut up and listen to me, idiot." she said. Veins popping out on her forhead.

I stifled a laugh and let her talk.

" We'll leave any minute now, tell me why you gave me this" I told her.

" Remember whe-" 

I cut her off.

" You told me that already ! Can't you be more direct?!" I asked Rina.

She glared at me. 

Scary

"Okay continue. Straight to the point this time" I told her. She's scary whenever she glare you know. But no one can beat ningning's piercing glare. Imagining it even gives me goosebumps.brrrrrrrr

"Okay. Remembe--

I cut her off once again.

"Can you stop saying Remember?! I don't want to remember a thing!! " I told her almost shouting. Stomping my feet.

This time it looks like I really pissed her off. Well she deserve it, Hmp. Remembering is the last thing I want to do right now and she keeps saying that damn word.

"You want a direct explanation? Okay. That locket was ningning's" she said

I looked at her confused

"Wha-" this time rina cut me off.

" Ningning was your secret admirer way back in highschool" she told me like it wasn't a big thing and left to go outside leaving me dumbfounded.

 

    Not knowing how that simple sentence killed me.
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We're currently in the car, on the way to the church.

I'm not even aware of what's happening around me or if we're already near , my attention is all directed to the locket on my hands.

What karina said is still echoing in my mind.  And as I slowly realize it the more my heart beats faster, and the more my heart beats faster the more I feel my eyes heating up.

No! I refuse to belive this. She can't be my admirer, it's damn impossible. I won't believe it. Karina is just buffling. It can't be true.(a/n: sabihin mo giselle gawa gawa lang ng illuminati yan hahahhaah char.bye.)

 There is no way ningning will send me a letter every freaking day for 3 ing school years. That's damn impossible. And I can't believe the admirer I was avoiding was her, the admirer I always rant about to my friends was her. She knows. She knows what I feel about her, the admirer her. 

+FLASHBACK+

I opened my locker to get the books needed for my major subjects when a letter fell out from inside.

I sighed and just let it be not minding to even get and read it. I've had enough of that annoying stalker. It's been 3 years since that person started giving me letters. I even replied back. I left a big fat bond paper on my locker with the note: "STOP! I have no interest with you. You're just wasting your time."

And of ing course the admirer didn't listen, anon even started to put Magnolia flowers attached inside the letter. Which irritates me more because magnolia is my favorite flower and it means Perseverance. It seems like anon was implying he/she won't give up. So I did the easiest way to get rid of my admirer. I started ignoring the letters. I never gave attention to any of the letters after that ( but I kept the flowers hehehehehe). 

Ugh! why is the business building so far away from the gymnasium. On my way to the building I saw winter. 

"WINTER!" I shouted. 

"the aeri? I have two ears for a reason you know? No need to shout" as usual grumpy winter.

"whatever, you're on your way to the business building?" I asked her

"yeah, I was actually planning to cut classes but Karina told me I aint getting anything from her If I dare" she said pouting.

cutie hahahhahahahha

" let's go now you . We are doomed if Professor Mindanao arrived there first. That grumpy old man is much more worse than a menopause woman." I told winter slightly laughing.

She laughed loudly, reason why other students looked at us.

"Winter, stop laughing!! my god you're an embarrassment" I told her.

"Giselle, wait!" she said trying so hard to stop herself from laughing. 

" Walk faster you dwarf" I told her which caused the stop of her laughing.

"did you just called me a dwarf?" winter said glaring at me. Oh no.

" OH HEY RINA!" I shouted acting as if Karina is behind winter.

Success! winter also looked behind her and I took that as a chance to escape.

I started to run and-

" YOU,GISELLE!" I heard winter shout. Hahahahah oh wait she started running too. indeed.

"KARINA WON'T LIKE THAT, WINTER!" I shouted back still running on my way to the business building not looking back because winter is fast as hell one slow step she'll catch up to me in no time.

BANG! I her a loud noise and winter's over dramatic "OUCH"

And as a caring friend I stopped and looked back. And bloody hell i'm telling you, I think I just saw lucifer's reincarnation grinning evily at me.

I did everything I can to avoid winter from catching me, at this rate I feel like I ran faster than flash now. We were chasing each other on the hallway here in the business building causing some professors to went out of the room and see what's the loud commotion. I ran faster up the stairs, I still have the advantage because I'm an athlete and running up and down the stairs is like our morning routine exercise so this is very basic to me.

Please let me escape from ,winter

Please let me escape from ,winter

Please let me escape from ,winter I prayed while runnig more faster towards the door.

Finally! I can escape lucifer's reincarnation.  

I banged the door opened and another hella ing big bloody hell I think I just saw Lucifer himself looking at me coldly.

"Sir, I-" 

" Ms. Uchinaga, detention for a week. AND you won't participate in today's long quiz. Now, get out of here." Mr. Mindanao said. He didn't even hear me out. Old man who's menopaused indeed.

I was waiting for him to mention winter but he didn't. He continued setting up his laptop and projector. I looked behind me guess what? no winter is found. that ing just escaped hell. 

I saw ningning and karina lauging at me. Look at these two. I swear i'm gonna look for a new set of friends. I rolled my eyes at them and slammed the door shut. I could careless about mindanao's reaction.

 I have a reincarnation of lucifer to look for and kill.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 I'm silently eating at the cafeteria alone when someone suddenly covered up my eyes.

 " guess who" said someone.

 " and if I don't want to?" I asked.

 " you're a killjoy, Gi " ning told me with a grumpy face removing her hand on my eyes and sitting beside me.

 " oh come on, sunshine let me see your smile" I asked her in a very teasing way.

" stop or else you see this fork?" she told me holding up the fork she got from my plate in her hands. Scary as hell.

 " chill, i'm just teasing ning" I said pouting. She just rolled her eyes and proceeded eating my food.

 " by the way where is rina? you were with her right?" I asked her curiously

"with winter" she answered coldy.

"why are you so grumpy today?" I asked her

"what do you mean grumpy? I am not grumpy" ning said. 

"Yes, you are"

"No, i'm not"

"Yes, you are"

"NO, I'M NOT!"

" YE--" before I even get to shout she gave me that scary piercing glare of hers.

 ok emergecy, don't cross the line.  Ningning might kill me today if I said the wrong thing.

"okay then you're not" I said forced. Not pleased that I always lose when it comes to her.

"Good" she said. 

I rolled my eyes secretly

" no letters and flowers from your admirer today ,Gi? " ning asked

Now it's my time to turn into a grumpy one.

" It seems like that person is really not going to give up." I said frown evident on my face.

" then why not try to give her a chance?" ning asked

"how'd you know it's a her?" I asked back

she seemed a little taken a back because of my question

"Well, almost all of your fans are girls so....you know just a hunch" she said.

" well, i don't care. And since when did I have fans?" I asked her

"you're just oblivious, Gi hahahah....so much oblivious" she told me quietly. I can't identify her expression.

" So, where is the letter? Have you read it?" she asked me eagerly. The Mood changes of this girl is amazing.

"Why are you so curious" I asked her squinting my eyes.

"is it possible...." 

" NO WAY! what the heck Gi! EW!" she said almost shouting. Fyi, ning's almost shouting is like the maximum volume of the loudest speaker that ever existed.

" Chill out, ning. I'm just joking HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA"  I told her. I don't know why but I felt a little sting in my heart.

" But What if it was me?" she suddenly asked

"huh?"

"I said what if I am your admirer"

" now that is peak comedy,we both know it's impossible ning" I told her trying to sound not panicky even though I slighty malfunctioned when she said that.

"I said what if" ningning said.

"well.......then I-"

"HEYOW PEOPLE!!" I jumped from my seat when someone suddenly shouted at us.

" what the hell, winter?!" I said holding my chest. 

"we have two ears for a reason you know? No need to shout" I told winter sarcastically.  

"why are you even here? aren't the two of you supposed to be eating lunch outside?" THANK GOODNESS WINTER CAME. SAVED BY THE DEMON.

She rolled her eyes then sat infront of me. Karina doing the same thing and sat beside winter infront of ning.

"The guard said students can't go outside the school every break the whole week" Karina said.

"Hey, Ning" Rina said to the spaced out ningning.

"Ning?" 

"NING!" I shouted

" AY confess!" ning said shocked

" What the hell, Gi? "

Karina and winter bursted out laughing. While ningning glared at them.

     Damn, you're too cute.

S I L E N C E

"huh? why are y'all looking at me"

"you just called ning too cute" rina said.

WHAT? I said it on my mind though??
 I looked at ningning and she's so red? is she blushing?

" you're freaking blushing, ning HAHAHAHAHHAHA" winter said teasing ning.

" shut up, WINTER" Ningning said while menacingly looking at winter.

"So, Giselle. When did you start thinking ningning is "too cute" " Karina said quoting the too cute on the air.

" uh, OH! look at the time it's almost 1:30 pm I have a class to attend now guys. Bye!" I said. Hurriedly getting out of the hot seat and avoiding eye contact with ningning.

END of FB
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"Giselle?" 

"Gi?"

"GISELLE!!!!"

"oh ! What the hell,Rina?!" 

" Don't what the hell what the hell me! I've been calling you for almost a minute now. Are you okay? You keep spacing out." Karina asked me worried

" No, i'm okay ,Rina. Just feeling a liitle bit sleepy I guess"

" You must be very excited for today. I mean you and ningning worked hard to be able to conduct this event especially you."

I just smiled as a reply.

I want to feel the excitement too but how can I?

" We've arrived ma'am." the driver said. 

"Come on now, Gi! You need to be prepared before ningning's arrival" Karina hurriedly

We went out of the car and went inside the church. Wow, this church is breath taking. Ningning made the right choice for choosing this one. 

 I greeted everyone Good Morning and appreciation for attending this wedding.

I'm busy talking to some guests when karina called me.

"Gi, ningning will arrive any minute from now. Come on, you need to be ready" Rina said. We walked to the altar.

"Hi, Congratulations. Take care of her okay?"

" No need to tell me that. I will take care of her and make her feel loved. Thank you" 

I sighed nervously. Slowly breathing in and out. You can do this, Giselle. I cheered up myself while waiting. 

"The bride is ready outside, let's start" said the staff. All of the surroundings turned quiet and the visitors stood up.

I saw rina sitting down infront of the piano. Ready to play the interlude.

The huge door opened and Rina started to play the piano. All eyes are focus on the beautiful flower girls walking down the aisle.

As they walk down the aisle I can feel my heart beating so loud. Any minute now, the  girl I love more than anything in this world, the girl who completed my life, the girl who made me feel animals in my stomach, the girl everyone is wishing for, the girl who brightens up my day whenever I feel down, the girl who became my first ever friend, the girl who helped me overcome my misery, the girl that gave me a reason to smile, the girl I first kissed, the girl that calms me down, the girl who made my heart beat like crazy, the girl..........I can never have will walk down the aisle. 

Rina gave me a signal. I nodded as an answer.
She started playing the intro of the song.

(A/N: I suggest you to play Beautiful in White by Shane Filan on repeat while reading this for more hurtful experience hehehehehe)

And then I saw her entering the door as gorgeous as ever. Walking side by side with her father. 

All eyes on the bride. My focus all on the bride. 

Sadly, While I look at you, you look at her. 
While my heart beats for you, yours beats for her.

Regardless of what I feel, I'm happy. You finally found someone who can make you smile . You found someone that is not afraid to shout into the world how much she loves you. You found someone worth it, and that's enough for me. You deserve it. She deserves you. 

 But is it wrong for me to wish that i'm the one at the end of the altar? That i'm the one beside you whenever you wake up. That i'm the one you're smiling at right now. That i'm the one who will put a ring on your finger. That I'm the one you will say 'I do'. That i'm the one who can hear your I love you's everyday.

But I'm not. 

I can feel my eyes heating up. No, I can't cry here. I don't have the right to. 

"Gi!" rina called me.

I looked at her. And realized she's been playing the intro twice now. I nodded as a signal that i'm ready.

Right. I'm just your best friend. Whom you asked to sing for you and organize your wedding. 

I tried to calm down my hurting heart. 

*Inhale
*Exhale

I started singing the song your other bride,yiyang, requested. 

Not sure if you know this
But when we first met
I got so nervous I couldn't speak

I can still remember the day when I first met you. It was on our first year of high school. I was a transferee and a foreigner so I don't have any friends.

I was silently reading a book, too engrossed on it that I didn't notice you're infront of me.

"Hi!" You said too cheerfully with your high pitch voice. I lift up my head and saw that damn smile. I was shocked that time so I just stared at you. 

" Uhm, I love you" You suddenly said in a serious ton