cab·in fe·ver

1. noun

   irritability, listlessness, and similar symptoms resulting from long confinement or isolation indoors during the winter

It begins when Myungsoo shrugs Sunggyu’s arm off his shoulder and says, “Stop hanging around me all the time,” and Sungyeol laughs and Hoya is immersed in his hip-hop music and Sungjong is busy finishing school homework and Dongwoo is out buying groceries and Woohyun doesn’t even glance up from his email when Sunggyu comes back into the room. Sunggyu flops onto the bunk bed, facedown. He feels like an idiot.

He wishes that he could come down with a high fever the next day. He already has a light cold anyway. Maybe even the flu—sweating and vomiting, the real deal. All of the members would come into his room, tired and worried, and Woohyun would be telling the managers, “Look, I don’t know, but today I woke up and he was burning up. Seriously. I don’t think he should practice today.” Sadly, it’d probably be the only time any of the members would actually care, which makes everything worse.

So Sunggyu makes up his mind to go to the practice studio on their only day off.

Myungsoo didn’t have to be that harsh. Sungyeol didn’t have to laugh. And Woohyun should’ve looked up.

▣

The funny thing is, it’s not Woohyun, his roommate, who finds out he’s sick the next morning. Woohyun just wakes up and stumbles down the bed ladder after slapping the alarm clock against the wall, completely ignoring him. But as Woohyun opens the door to go to the bathroom to brush his teeth, Dongwoo walks in. “Sunggyu, Sunggyu, look, I got you your favourite apples!” he says, the grin evident in his voice. Sunggyu doesn’t even have to open his eyes to know. Must be gala apples.

It’s kind of weird that Dongwoo comes in to tell him this at 6 AM in the morning, but Dongwoo has always been oddly thoughtful in funny sorts of ways. Sunggyu makes a whining noise in the back of his throat. His mouth tastes dry and fuzzy, and he wants to go brush his teeth except he doesn’t want to get up. He tried moving his arm a minute ago and was rewarded with a shooting muscle ache.

“Sunggyu?” He feels his body being rolled over and then a faint, “Hey, you’re kind of warm,” and then a cool hand against his forehead. “Yeah, you really are kind of warm. You feeling okay?”

He feels like . He looks like . He probably is .

“No,” Sunggyu mutters, but it comes out as a half-muffled, “Nrrmph.” He’s kind of chilly, too, so he pulls his comforter closer around himself even though his back feels damp. Ugh. He might have to shower in the morning.

“Wait, I’m going to go tell the manager.” He hears a creak in the floorboards as Dongwoo stands up. “Here. Have your apple. It’s all washed, too.” Dongwoo places the apple down, which rolls into his face and bumps against his chin. Sunggyu doesn’t even bother to move it.

Dongwoo comes back in the next minute, sock feet padding across the floor. He leans down really close because Sunggyu can feel his breath on his eyelids. “Manager says you need to practice today anyways,” he says, moving the apple. “You don’t want your apple?” A shake of the head. “Hey. You’re really not okay?”

His voice comes out a little hoarse. “I hate apples. I only eat them because I’m on a diet.” Sunggyu knows he’s being stupid, but he’s so fed up and sick of heartache and early mornings and winter and practice and everything. “I hate Infinite.”

▣     

Somehow, Dongwoo still gives a damn about him even though he’s a complete brat and drags him out of bed. Literally. He steers Sunggyu to the bathroom, splashes water on his face, and hands him a toothbrush, and after Sunggyu trudges into the kitchen for breakfast, Dongwoo comes up to him with a cup of ginger tea sweetened with rock sugar. “I think it’ll make you feel a little better,” he says.

After staring the steaming cup down, Sunggyu takes it. He hates ginger too, but his mom always made him ginger tea or soup when he was sick. He kind of wishes that Myungsoo or Woohyun had made it instead, but beggars can’t be choosers, so Sunggyu gulps it down, ginger slices and all, along with a handful of multivitamins and herbal supplements and prescription pills.

Everyone eats breakfast in stony silence—cold boiled eggs from the night before and burnt toast soggy from being left on the plate for too long.

Sunggyu wonders when breakfast hadn’t been so stiff and tries to think of a happier one, but he has a pounding headache and wants nothing but to go back to sleep. He can barely stomach the idea of singing or dancing. His voice is worn-out from yesterday and his muscles are sore all over. He still feels cold.

Everyone else might have cabin fever, but he’s the only one with a real fever.

▣     

Dongwoo wishes he didn’t have to wake Sunggyu up that morning. Sometimes, he takes a good look at Sunggyu’s face—his bare face—and what he sees scares him. Swollen eyes, dark bags, pimples; even the beginnings of wrinkles when the guy is only twenty-two. It’s impressive how the stylists can hide all of it under layers of foundation and makeup, but they can’t hide his lack of energy. Dongwoo observes Sunggyu out of the corner of his eye in the mirror, watching how he misses a step, listening how he belts out notes that don’t come out half of the time. Then Sunggyu trips and crashes to the floor.

Woohyun’s the one who stops the practice, walking over to the stereo and pausing it. “Sunggyu. Get it together,” he says. “You’re supposed to be leading us, not messing the choreo up.”

The chill in his voice doesn’t surprise Dongwoo anymore; the only time Woohyun actually jokes around is on shows and in interviews. He plays it up for the camera. So does the rest of the Infinite. But Sunggyu is one of the few (like himself) who still try even when the cameras are gone, even when he’s so exhausted that he doesn’t talk or smile, reaching out and squeezing shoulders or ruffling hair. It must be a natural leader instinct or something. Dongwoo wishes Sunggyu would do it to him more. He always laves his attention over the younger members instead.

“I know,” Sunggyu says, panting.

“We have a stage tomorrow.”

“I know.”

Hoya grabs his arm and wordlessly helps him up, and Dongwoo doesn’t miss how Hoya wipes his hands on his T-shirt afterwards. Wiping the sweat away. Sunggyu looks like he’s taken a hot shower—flushed skin, dripping bangs, shiny neck. Then again, they all look like that.

Somehow, Sunggyu catches his attention just that much more.

▣

When they finally do get back to the dorm, it’s nighttime, and only Dongwoo notices that Sunggyu looks like he’s honestly about to drop.

So when he does drop, Dongwoo’s there to catch him. His knees crumple and he falls forward like a blown leaf, and that’s when Dongwoo lunges forward and grabs his shoulders. Sunggyu’s lighter than he thinks, probably because of that “diet” he was talking about earlier. His chest is thinner. Arms, too. Dongwoo feels guilty for not noticing. He gently lies him down on the couch and looks at the rest of the members who are scattered around the dorm. “What the ?” he almost shouts. “Did none of you realize?”

“That he has a fever?” Myungsoo says quietly, pulling out Cokes from the fridge and passing them to Sungyeol and Sungjong.

“You knew?”

Woohyun throws his bottle into the garbage. “It’s just a fever. Hoya had a fever once and could still keep up.”

“Because Sunggyu is keeping up. Clearly!”

Woohyun shrugs. “Who wants to wake up the managers to tell them that the leader fainted?”

Before anyone else makes a move, Dongwoo is already going upstairs. “I’ll do it because no one else will,” he says, and he can’t keep the note of exasperation out of his voice. He’s disappointed in them.

▣

Ten minutes later, Sunggyu’s eyelids are fluttering as one of the managers pats his forehead with a cool towel. He looks around him. The rest of Infinite is gathered in front of the couch in a tight circle. “Who called you?” he asks the manager, his voice cracking. He needs to know. He looks carefully at each grim, unsmiling face, and he needs to know who it was. “I thought—I thought you were asleep.”

“Dongwoo woke us up,” the manager says. “You feel alright?”

Not Myungsoo or Woohyun, just Dongwoo. “Tired. Cold. Sore.”

The manager throws the towel into the sink and raises an eyebrow. “Rest your voice. No more talking until the performance tomorrow for you, buddy.” He stands up to go back upstairs. “Remember to take some fever medicine before going to bed. Drink a lot of water, alright? Good night.”

As soon as the manager disappears into his room, everyone but Dongwoo leaves. Sungjong whispers a soft, “Feel better!” while Hoya pats Sunggyu’s arm and nods. Woohyun gives him a perfunctory glance and closes the bathroom door. Myungsoo and Sungyeol wave before vanishing into their shared room. It’s like they were never there. All except for Dongwoo.

Sunggyu remembers their trainee days, when he broke out in red spots from practicing too hard and had the entire group worried half to death in the emergency room. He remembers their faces when the managers walked out and announced he was okay. Fainting isn’t on the same scale, but their apathy still stings.

He rights himself on the couch. Dongwoo takes a seat by his side and hands him a cup of sweet ginger tea. Then he sneaks an arm around his waist and holds him, and they sit there, Sunggyu swaddled in fleece blankets and Dongwoo’s warm arms.

Sunggyu sips the tea carefully, trying hard not to cry. He could probably get used to this.

▣

While the manager drives them back to the dorms, Dongwoo threads his fingers through Sunggyu’s stiff hair as he sleeps on his shoulder, face half-covered with a massive knit scarf. He’s still sweating, and with every streetlight they pass, it glistens yellow. His fever has gotten worse. Everyone knows.

Suddenly, in the midst of the hum of the car, Woohyun says, “He’s a ing .”

Dongwoo looks at him, and Woohyun goes on. “He has no sense of self-preservation whatsoever. He always overdoes it. He’s always sick, always tired. Always needing attention. All the ing time.”

“That’s why we need to be his sense of self-preservation.”

“He should get his own.”

Myungsoo looks out the window and watches the snowflakes fall. “I think we all just need a break. To get out more. To get away from each other for a bit.”

“I don’t need it,” Dongwoo says, and he pulls Sunggyu a little closer. 

woohoo! trying new things (including formatting)! C: I really was going to finish that fantasy Donggyu...but then I got sidetracked and wrote this in a couple days. which was quite fun although maybe a bit too melodramatic for me :P 

while I was writing this, I got even more sidetracked with writing and researching this multi-chaptered dream fic...bad habit of mine. but I do end up finishing everything one way or another. I also cannot promise anymore quick updates--not like I've been doing quick updates, but classes are starting! plus I need to spend time with my host family instead of holing up in a room and writing hahaha. in addition to that, chinese wifi seems to hate AFF. I have to reload a page at least 5x before it works. what.

warning. long author note ahead! skip if you'd like--it's just a lot of feelings behind this fic. 

I always end up writing Woohyun as some kind of jerk. even in that dream fic I mentioned (which will not be posted up for a long, long time), I make him a jerk. I'm sorry haha ;___; I feel like when Sunggyu can't be there for Infinite as the leader, Woohyun would be the most likely to take up the role...he seems like such a perfectionist, just like Gyu. so he becomes more aggressive. and there must be tension between the members, at least some. I live in a dorm, and roommate tensions and dormmate tensions can get pretty thick, even with guys. you can't just throw together a group of people and hope they become best friends forever. people don't work that way. and coupled with cabin fever (idk if I've really got the definition down right but it's a general feeling)...so even though I feel like I might have over-emphasized their relationships, I don't think it's all completely fake. 

then on the other hand, unlike Woohyun, I write Sunggyu softer. even though in real life, I think he must be one of the manliest, strongest members in the group...but he's just so cute sometimes and I can't help it. I also think he had it really hard...this transition from rock band to idol group. sometimes I wonder if he regrets anything.

also, Sunggyu is sick a lot of the time. he sniffles and coughs. or like in one of their concert videos, he was saying something like his throat had been hurting? and it had been like that for a week....must be his weak body. :/ I also feel like he's a perfectionist, so he probably practices a lot, esp. because he loves music so much. and Dongwoo is often referred to as really caring, so I feel like Dongwoo and Sunggyu might have a special connection or something. 

and I feel like Sunggyu hangs off of Myungsoo a lot. it's not obvious, but if you look for it, you'll see it and it'll stays there forever. and this is how one-sided Myunggyu snuck itself in. :) which is why i ship them so much~

well, that was long. laundromat Myunggyu is coming along pretty okay, except it is turning out to be much longer than I expected, and um, that other story Wings that I have, it's seriously almost done. I just need to get a chance to revise it. :D sorry for making so many excuses.

thank you for reading and/or subscribing! I hope you enjoyed!