Autumn arrived upon us. Its dense mist also wrapped itself around my heart and I let it cloud my vision. I knew the path, the right path. But in the warm embrace of the grey veil, I did not want to walk it. It was too easy to find comfort in this structure of lies.

With every day that passed, I missed Minho more and more. But this time it was different. This time I knew he would come back. I knew that someday I would lie in his arms again, hear his voice again and be able to look into his eyes again.

It wasn't easier, but it was different.

With the days that brought us rain we got a new guest in our residence. A small, but still very attractive man, had checked in with us. His brown hair, which hung lightly over his own, was always well styled. He always had a warm smile for whoever came to meet him. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, but his eyes always seemed to be looking for something, for someone.

But not in the sense that he was looking for something new, no. He had lost something and if he had the chance to grab it again, he would not make the same mistake again. He would not let go this time.

With a casual stride, he walked towards me in the foyer. He looked a little arrogant with his visibly expensive suit and sunglasses on his nose, but when he took them off my heart slipped into my pants and I could barely get a word out.

I couldn't place his whole persona. Behind the branded dark glasses were deep, hazel eyes that held the warmth of the moon. With a confident smile and sure footstep, he approached me.

"Hello, my name is Kim Jonghyun. I'm here to inspect the hotel." He slid his card across the counter to me, it could capture the elegance and ease he exuded. Everything about him radiated ease.

"Oh, yes, of course! Good afternoon and welcome." Dad had told me the days before that our appointment for the inspection was imminent. I wasn't worried either, as we always paid attention to all hygiene regulations and the well-being of our guests had always been Dad's greatest priority. But Jonghyun somehow managed to draw me out, merely with his presence.

"Aaah!" Jinki said and I opened my mouth dutifully.

"Mhhh!" the luscious cake settled over my tongue like a gentle cloud of well-being.

"Oh my god, Jinki. This is just magnificent." I said and tried to take the fork away from him to have another piece. But he would not allow it.

"Yes, but is it better than this one?" he fed me another piece which had a creamy mixture between the two layers.

"Why don't you hand them all in?" I enjoyed the delicious pastry and closed my eyes.

"You're only allowed to participate with one thing, you know that." He explained to me once again the rules for the upcoming Autumn Festival.

"Then make your own category!" I suggested and reached for my fork, this time successfully.

"A pumpkin pie contest and you're the only contestant and therefore winner." I hadn't even swallowed when I said the words, which made Jinki laugh.

"Taemin..." he looked down at the blankets beneath us. To avoid getting completely wet from the muddy ground, we had spread several in front of our tree. We sat there in our thick jackets and let the cold air sway around us. The occasional yellow or red leaf found its way to us.

It might not have been as romantic as in summer, but for both of us it was the only thing that made sense. Of course, Jinki had noticed that something was out of place and that's why we wanted to try to start all over again.

The way he said my name made the lightness disappear from my limbs. He took on a tone of voice that I couldn't quite place.

"I've been thinking you know..." I sat up straight and took a deep breath.

"Somehow we drifted apart over the summer..." I could tell how heavy the words were weighing on him.

"I know that...well that I haven't given you much of myself." He had to swallow. I didn't interrupt him, but listened attentively.

"I would like...to introduce you...to my parents..." Only slowly did he dare look up at me. I didn't know what to say at this point.

"Well..." he had to grin.

"Of course you already know them but-"

I heard Jinki's surprise as I wrapped my arms around him, but shortly after he wrapped his arms around me too.

"That's why it is important to me if you would come when I hand in my cake." He whispered in my ear. His hot breath against my ear sent a little shiver down my spine. I broke away just a little from our embrace and nodded eagerly.

"Of course! I'll be cheering you on! And if you don't make first place then I'll beat up the judges!" We both had to laugh.

Of course I was fooling myself then. But it was so easy to blame Jinki for my unfaithfulness. It was easy to say that I felt insecure in our relationship because he had hidden us from his family. And it was easy to say that things would be different once we made it completely official.   

Everything was easier than the truth for me.

It was raining in torrents when I looked out of the window. A heavy sigh escaped me as I looked out at the sea. I had promised to wait for him. And I had promised to forgive him for not writing me a letter again. But watching the raging waters in all their cruelty made me regret my words. The fear in me would not subside throughout autumn. I wanted nothing more than a sign that he was all right, that he was alive.

I had to laugh a little at myself as I felt anger take over again. Maybe I would yell at him again when he returned, just out of relief that he was alive. Next time I would tell him to send me a sign for every season to let me know he was okay.

"The Tanakas have already rung twice." I flinched slightly when I heard Dad's voice.

"Oh...I...yes, I'll take care of it." I averted my gaze from the window and went to see what our guests needed, but Dad grabbed my arm and held me back.

"I've already taken care of it." He said.

"Oh...thanks."

He looked to the side and let his finger tap the counter a few times. It was strange between us. We couldn't talk freely like we used to. Dad knew I was hiding something. To this day I think he knew what I had done, he just didn't want to admit it to himself.

"Is everything okay?" he asked me. I merely nodded.

"You seem a bit absent the last few days." He said. My fists clenched at his words.

"Jinki will introduce me to his parents soon, I think I'm just nervous." I replied, hoping he would let it go.

"Is that so?" he smiled cheekily at me. It was a smile I hadn't seen on him in a while. He was happy for me.

"This is very exciting indeed." He sighed and I had to swallow.

"So you were able to work everything out?" I took a deep breath at his question.

"Dad...there was nothing to sort out." I grabbed a folder and looked through the papers. 

"Taemin..." he put his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it away.

"Dad, please!" I flipped through the pages, frantically and with a concentrated look.

"Taemin even if there was nothing physical between you, betraying someone emotionally is just as bad if not worse." He said it softly. I know, and I knew then that he meant well, that he just didn't want anyone to get hurt.

I slammed the folder shut and looked at him.

"Excuse me, I'm taking a break now!" As I opened the door out of the office I could still hear him calling after me.

"I don't want to argue."

Angered, I took quick steps down the stairs. What did he know? He knew nothing. He didn't understand! No one would understand.

Jinki was fine after all. He was even ready to introduce me to his parents. Why was Jinki allowed to be so insecure and not me? Our insecurities in our relationship were there, they had just shown themselves in a different way, but things would be different now. Things would be okay now.

I walked through our restaurant out into the front garden. I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't realise I had bumped into someone.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" I paused when I saw who I had knocked over.

"Well, it's okay." Jonghyun said as I helped him to his feet. He patted himself down. His clipboard had fallen out of his hands. I picked it up, and I know it wasn't right, but my gaze lingered on the many crosses and notes written there.

"Where are we going?" he asked me, holding out his hand. I pulled myself together and handed the clipboard back to him. I couldn't help grinning, of course, at the full scores and kind words I had just seen there.

"I'm on my break and wanted to eat something." I said.

"That sounds good, do you mind if I join you?"

Jonghyun told me about his job and I listened with pleasure. He told me about the most beautiful hotels he had ever been allowed to visit, hotels that were built like castles and where people lived like sheikhs. Hotels that were so tiny but exuded cosiness that they even deserved six stars. But also hotels that hadn't been cleaned for years, didn't meet the regulations and had to close.

Everything sounded simply dreamlike to my ears. Our professions weren't so different, except that he wasn't trapped in one place. He could travel the world, learn about different cultures and traditions, while I had to serve time in the same rut.

"Well, I'm sure you've already seen that you have nothing to worry about." He said and took a sip of his wine.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to peek." I felt the heat rush to my face. But even without seeing his notes, I knew we wouldn't have any problems in that regard.

A waiter came over when he saw Jonghyun had finished his drink to immediately refill it for him.

"Just leave it here." I said to him.

"Must be nice to be the boss's son?" Said Jonghyun. He nodded his appreciation and thanks to me as he picked up the bottle and looked at it.

"A good vintage."

"Oh not for me, thank you. I still have to work today." I said as he poured for me.

"You didn't answer my question." He set the bottle aside again.

"It's..." I didn't know what to say. Would it factor into his assessment if I told him I longed for more?

"Family businesses are always the most interesting, aren't they?" He looked at me as if he had met many guys like me before.

"It's fun..." I began, searching for the right words.

"But?" he wanted to know, looking at me over the rim of his glass.

"This, this was always Dad's dream." He said nothing, but leaned forward towards me.

"I have a good life." He in a sharp breath at my words, as if I had failed his test.

"What are you dreaming about, son of the boss?"

I sighed and thought about his question. I knew what I was dreaming of, but it would never be anything more, would it? Never anything more than dreams. I had no answer for him at that time.

"You know what else goes into my evaluation?" He looked around, talking quietly so that none of the other guests would overhear.

I shook my head and leaned over to him as well.

"The nightlife." He whispered to me. I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Sorry." I said, still laughing as I rested.

"I guess we'll score zero points there then." Jonghyun's eyes widened in disbelief at my statement.

"But you do have a sound system?" he asked, completely taken aback. He leaned back in his seat.

I just shrugged my shoulders.

It had cleared up outside, but you could still hear the strong gusts of wind from the chilly autumn in my room. I tried to concentrate on my outfit, even though the sea was begging me to look at it. It shone seductively calm in the bright autumn sun. 

"Okay, that says I'm a good boy and respect my community." I said as I held a pair of brown cords and a black shirt against myself. Jinki had to laugh.

"But maybe that's too boring?" I asked him and sat down on the bed with him.

"Taemin you already know my parents, why are you so nervous?" he asked me and my knee.

"Yes but not in this context!" I tried to make him understand.

"I want to make a good impression." I pouted.

The next day Jinki would introduce me to his parents as his boyfriend. My heart was beating rapidly and I was totally shaken up. Of course I knew his parents, but what did they think of me? Would they consider me a good match for him? Or would they immediately take a dislike to me?

"You look great in everything." He said and kissed me. It was a soft kiss. I couldn't help but grin as his lips left mine. 

"But I'm sooooo nervous." I teased, pulling him close to me.

I slipped my tongue into Jinki's mouth searching for his and quickly found it. I put my hands around his shoulders and dropped us both onto the bed. I moaned into our kiss, leaving no space between our bodies. This was exactly what I had missed. Jinki broke away from me and let his lips slide to my neck. To give him more surface to wet, I turned my head to the side. I enjoyed the way he let his lips run slowly over my skin, his tongue caressing me gently.

When I opened my eyes I saw the little paper boat. My thoughts drifted back to the night Minho and I had spent in our world. It wasn't Jinki's hands me tenderly, it wasn't Jinki's lips putting me into a trance. My moans were not directed at Jinki as I lost myself in desire.

"!" I murmured in his ear while clawing at his hair.

He grabbed the hem of my jumper and pushed it up. Slowly he spread little kisses on my chest. A wince ran through my body as he nuzzled his tongue around my .

"Is everything okay?" he asked me.

"Yes, keep going!" I moaned down to him and heaved his head back onto my chest.

"I don't want to hurt you." Concerned and anything but , his voice drifted up to me.

"You aren't!" I assured him. Impatience crept into my loins with every untouched part of my body.

"Just keep going." I said as gently as I could.

He left my to my regret, but gave me many kisses on my belly. I grinned greedily inside as I pressed my hips against his body.

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