Years & Years - Sweet Talker (Acoustic)

All the books we found in the attic were still in good condition. Instead of sorting out which ones we should donate, we examined them.

Together we sat there on the floor, the box in our middle.

Every time I took out a book, I read the blurb. At some point Minho nudged me and asked me to read aloud what the books were about. Every book where he found the content interesting I put aside.

For our future.

We would explore all these stories together.

Jinki also listened attentively and told me that some books had already been made into movies. We could compare books and movies. Maybe we could even have a movie marathon, he suggested. I thought that was a great idea, Minho was reluctant but also agreed.

Even though it was still awkward and strange at some points, I knew it was right to bring Minho and Jinki together. I was sure that the two of them would get along well. And sooner or later we would laugh about our initial insecurity towards each other.

Today I don't even remember when I laughed for the last time.

The next morning I was up well out of bed. The gentle rays of the sun had tickled me awake.

With a bit of melancholy, I found that the side next to me was empty. Minho had not spent the night with me. He said he had some things to take care of. What exactly, he had not told me.

But I assumed he had something to do with staying with me, so I hadn't asked further.

Carrying a tray on which was draped a hearty breakfast and decaf coffee, I walked into Dad's bedroom.

My eyes fell directly on the flowers that stood in the vase on his nightstand. They were fresh and blooming in vibrant colors.

"Good morning." I greeted him.

"Good morning." He said, still sleepy but in a good mood.

I put the tray on the nightstand and helped him sit up. He was no longer fighting me to do some things for him. I could see in his look that while he was still uncomfortable with me taking care of him in some things, there was something else in that. Maybe it was pride, maybe it was love.

Maybe it was everything together and everything we had been through together up to that point.

"Did you have a pleasant night?" I asked him as I fluffed his pillow.

"Yes, thank you." He said and took the coffee.

He sighed restfully as he took the first sip, which made me laugh.

"Seems to me your night was good as well?" he took another sip and looked at me over the edge of the cup with raised eyebrows. 

"Daaaaad!" I rolled my eyes, but couldn't hide my smile.

"I've been well-behaved in bed. I have some work to do today." I said.

"Taemin if you'd rather use the time with Minho, then I can do more again. I'm feeling much better already."

I thought it was sweet of Dad to give Minho and me more time. It was an unspoken secret between Minho and me that he would not go anymore. But I didn't want to tell Dad at that time. I wanted to see his face when Minho would have just stayed and helped at the hotel after the summer. 

Today I wish I had accepted the offer.

But back then...I really thought that Minho and I would be forever after that summer.

"Thanks but I'm the boss now and I'm telling you to get some rest." I said half joking, half serious.

Dad had to laugh as well. He put his coffee back on the tray and started playing with his fingers.

"Taemin there's something else I need to talk to you about..." Only gingerly did the words leave his lips.

"What's wrong?" I sat up straight and put my hand on his.

"Actually, I want to ask you something rather than tell you. I don't want to present you with a fait accompli so that afterwards-"

"Dad." I interrupted him gently.

"What's wrong?" I asked again.

I the back of his hand with my thumb and nodded at him. I squeezed his hand lightly. I hadn't noticed it as much over the days, but his bones were more prominent under his skin. I could feel every bone in his fingers.

He sighed, his shoulders going up and down as he did so.

"Yoona and I...we like each other." Dad looked at me one minute, somewhere else the next.

He didn't have to keep talking for me to realize what he was trying to tell me.

"It was just a matter of time wasn't it?" I stated. And I realized that I didn't mind. Not only did I not mind, I was happy for Dad. He deserved to be happy.

"I'm very happy for you." I said, and meant it.

"You don't think it's weird?" he asked uncertainly.

"I didn't say that." I had to laugh.

"But I think even when things are weird at first, they can soon be familiar." I nodded, thinking about my situation with Jinki and Minho.

Dad seemed to be able to interpret my look.

"So you told Jinki about you and Minho?" he asked, his eyes too glowing for my liking.

But as quickly as it had appeared, the glow in his eyes vanished and tiredness spread through them.

"Taemin..."

I didn't want to admit it, but when he said my name like that I heard the disappointment in it. It was as if he had aged many years again. The furrows under his eyes seemed deeper than usual, his skin more leathery.

"Dad it's...not that simple." I sighed.

"Love never is." Now it was Dad who placed my hand in his.

Deeply he looked into my eyes, I knew he was right. I knew I should have listened to him. But my youthful naivety in which I had met Minho had never worn off.

"But a foundation of lies is doomed to shatter."

I was grateful for the work I had to do that day, so I tried not to think about Dad's words. But no matter how many papers I looked through, they kept coming back to haunt me.

But how could I have told Jinki the truth at that point? It would ruin everything. Of course we would tell him one day, but that day had not come yet.

How could I hurt him after only recently his father had died?

I wanted Minho to be in his life because I didn't know the feeling of losing a parent to that extent. How could I have helped Jinki like that?

It was right what I had done! It was right!

At some point I couldn't bear it any more and went out. The preparations for the summer party were almost finished. Maybe I would be able to distract myself that evening, I had wished for that. Dad would certainly spend the evening with Yoona. And I could be with the people who didn't keep telling me that what I was doing was wrong.

Maybe I would be able to find peace that night.

My heart leapt and began to beat faster as I caught sight of two familiar figures in the distance.

Together, Jinki and Minho placed cutlery and napkins on the many long table. They were talking, or rather Jinki was talking, and Minho was listening intently.

I took a few steps closer to them. At first I thought I was mistaken, but sure enough, they were laughing together.

I knew it was the right thing to do.

Jinki had an easy way of making people feel comfortable in his presence. And Minho needed sincere people like Jinki by his side.

Even if Minho was rather reserved, he could judge people well.

Maybe he had done it at first to do me a favour. But the way the two of them spoke there seemed sincere to me.

Minho was a quiet person. He listened, hardly spoke and observed others. He preferred not to attract attention.

Jinki was always in a good mood, had encouraging words for everyone and managed to light up every room with his presence.  

And there they were. And when I saw them, I knew that everything I had done was right.

"They are like the sun and the moon don't you think?"

Jonghyun stood beside me, his eyes fixed on the two of them. My gaze slid back to them as well.

"One of them doesn't hide anything. On the contrary, you can see immediately what he's thinking, how he feels. And when he smiles, he is beaming. And the other..." he sighed.

"...is deep as the night. Revealing nothing about what he really is, and yet one feels at ease with him. You have to be careful not to get lost at night, though."

I took a deep breath but could say nothing. No matter what I would have said, Jonghyun didn't want, he couldn't see who Minho really was.

Minho didn't have to tell me everything he did, everything he thought. The moments we spent together were honest. That was enough for me.

"I wonder who you will choose in the end." Jonghyun interrupted the silence.

I crossed my arms and clutched at my upper arms. His words were as sharp as the pages of a book, if you weren't careful you could cut yourself. The cut was quick, there was no evidence on the white page, but one was bleeding. 

"Jonghyun..."

"Taemin."

Our eyes met. My breath quickened as I looked at him. I was sorry that there was anger in my eyes, but I could not suppress it.

In contrast, there was only affection in his.

I know he was worried. But I didn't understand. What was he worried about? Jinki and I had been together, but we were beyond that point. We were friends. He didn't feel the same way about me as he did before I left.

And I also never wanted to hurt him like I had then, and I wouldn't.

So who was Jonghyun looking out for?

"I took your advice. I had a talk with Yunkyeom." He said. Still his eyes were on me, worrying.

"Then you must have noticed how nice he is." I said, trying to repress the tremor inside me.

It couldn't be any other way. Yunkyeom had always been nice to me. He is sociable and goes out of his way to meet people. Of course, I didn't think it was okay that he often left Minho alone. Especially when he was visiting his wife. But soon Minho would no longer be alone. He would never be alone again.

"He's nice and funny." Jonghyun said with an appreciative nod.

I had to swallow at his words. I tried to calm down but he immediately continued talking.

"But he doesn't talk much about himself...or his job."

I clearly heard the undertone, the accusation that was in those words.

"Well, they are simple merchants, what's there much to tell?"

"They made trades...with such a small boat?"

Jonghyun's look made me even angrier. He looked at me like I was a little boy who still believed in Father Christmas.

"They don't deliver big things, more like bits and pieces."

"Did Minho tell you that?"

No. No he didn't. Minho had never told me anything about his job. But after that summer, none of that would matter. I tried to keep that thought in my mind. Minho would stay with me. Jonghyun was suspicious of him for nothing. I would soon be able to show him.

My breath caught in my throat. I could no longer withstand his gaze and lowered my head.

"The tragedy of the sun and moon is that you need both to live. But they can't exist simultaneously."

A crisp breeze surrounded me as I stepped outside in the twilight. Summer had given us long evenings. The sun was already setting, but it did so at a leisurely pace. As if it didn't want to say goodbye to us yet. As if it wanted to give us a little more warmth this summer.

And even though the natural orange glow was still shining brightly, torches and many coloured fairy lights were already glowing. A cosy hum of several voices created a pleasant atmosphere. Relaxed music blasted through the huge loudspeakers.

"Taemin! Over here!" I heard Jinki. He waved at me and with a smile I made my way to one of the tables.

Yoona and Dad were also sitting there, side by side, close together.

"You were working late." Jinki's mom looked at me pityingly.

"You can't let your son work so much." She scolded Dad, which made us laugh.

"I'm trying to, but do you think he listens to me?" said Dad in his defense.

I couldn't help but feel instantly at ease. The two of them seemed like old, good friends. You could tell they were comfortable around each other. It was an easy atmosphere, a domestic one.

"Where is Minho?" asked Jinki, looking around.

"I haven't seen Yunkyeom yet either." Said Dad.

"Shall we go and check on them?" asked Jinki.

Together we made our way to their boat. My initial nervousness about being alone with Jinki and Minho seemed like it had never been there. I had seen how the two of them had topics of conversation even without me and got along well.

I just wanted to spend the evening with the two of them. Without the chasing words of Jonghyun or Dad.

The fact that Jinki had asked about Minho first and not me was a clear sign that everything had gone well.

"Minho?" called Jinki after him.

"Minhoooo?" he called louder and longer.

But nothing but the sounds of celebration could be heard. Jinki and I looked at each other. He raised his shoulders and made a clueless face. 

"They must be around here somewhere." I said and we walked further along the harbour, away from the festivities.

"I thought somehow everyone was there today." Said Jinki as we walked past a group of boys about our age.

I recognised that they were the boys Minho had often played football with back then. They were laughing loudly and I couldn't see what they were doing in the slowly fading light.

"Minho knows them, maybe they have seen him." I said to Jinki and walked over to them.

I didn't feel comfortable talking to them. Even if we knew each other from school or by sight, I had never had anything to do with them. When they played football after school, I already had to clear plates and help in the hotel. And when I had free time, I used it to disappear into the many stories in my books.

"Hey." I said uncertainly, but got their attention.

"Have you seen Minho?" I asked.

One of the boys grinned at me, I couldn't interpret his expression.

"Who would have thought? So the perfect boy has some bad habits after all." He said and the others started laughing loudly.

"He's at the back of the harbour bridge. As often as you guys get on each other's tails, you should know that." Said another.

"Well, he's already so wasted he can't see anything clearly." Said another and the laughter started again.

I didn't thank him. Wordlessly, I went back to Jinki. My thoughts were still on the boys' words. I did not understand them. What had they been talking about?

"Well?" wanted to know Jinki.

I tried to shake off the conversation, if you could call it that.

"Yes um...Minho is at the bridge." I said, still perplexed by what had happened.

"Well then, we better go get him before all the food is gone." Said Jinki with his encouraging smile.

After a few steps, Jinki stopped. I too was pulled back, he had grabbed me by the arm.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, visibly confused.

"Maybe we'd better go." He said, looking off into the distance of the bridge and then back at me.

"But-"

And then I heard it too. Someone was shouting. Under the bridge, near the water, I could make out two silhouettes.

Only slowly did I recognise the voices arguing.

"I'm not made for this!" I heard Minho shout.

"God boy! This is the way your life is, this is the way our life is!"

My heart stopped. I had never heard Yunkyeom so angry. Had Minho told him he wanted to stay? With me?

Were these the things he needed to sort out?

I thought Yunkyeom didn't mind our relationship.

"Pull yourself together! Now come, today we will be able to do good business."

I firmly gripped Jinki's hand. He pulled me with him behind a bigger rock. I sat down with my back to the rock, my gaze on the calm waters in front of me. Jinki knelt by me and squeezed my hand.

By then, it had become dark. With each step that came closer, my heart pounded faster. Jinki put his index finger to his lips.

My thoughts raced back and forth.

Of course Yunkyeom would not approve of Minho staying with us. Who would help him with his work then?

I couldn't help thinking of my father. He had told me that he preferred me to do what made me happy, even if it meant that I would not follow in his footsteps.

Why was Minho's father so vehemently against Minho going his own way?

Jinki nodded at me when it was safe to get back up and helped me stand. My legs were still shaking. Jinki and I looked into each other's eyes, helplessness evident in both of us.

Jinki bit his lower lip and nodded towards the bridge, towards Minho.

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