weeks went by since the incident and i was genuinely avoiding it like the plague. i could barely process what had happened that night during the concert much less after. i knew that if i texted them now it'd be futile because of how often they definitely had to change their numbers. so i resigned myself to having missed this once in a lifetime chance and let the days go by. 

 

okay well, that's a blatant lie. i spent my days panicking trying to convince myself that i had made the right choice and that i totally wasn't wasting my life away haha. ha. ha. oh yeah, i was definitely losing it. shocking right? not at all Lei. not at all. my brain truly couldn't handle what was happening and i hate that i had upgraded from my beautiful smooth brain to a lumpy weird one. not attractive. hate it. 

 

"m-maybe if-" i paused grabbing my head screaming. 

 

"oh god why are you stuttering Lei! it isn't that big of a deal they're people just like you." i nervously laughed as i picked my phone up and stared at the contacts. i had set them up days ago when i was really truly losing it as a way to make sure i wouldn't forget in case of an emergency. yeah heh, an emergency. 

 

i opened the text conversation to J-Hope seeing how he was my bias and seemed the least harmful. i laughed manically and threw my phone onto the floor rolling around my bed. as i rolled myself into a blanket burrito my phone pinged and i scrambled off my bed landing face-first onto the carpet. i groaned reaching my hand out grabbing my phone bringing it to my face squinting. 

 

oh haha. 

 

haha. 

 

ha. 

 

"why? why? Lei, i swear to f- no no no it's a mistake haha don't worry haha." i grabbed my head again as i tried to avoid the massive mistake i had just made. 

 

zhu lei 10:45 am

hahahaahh bshshshsh

sent.

 

of course, he looked right away as well!

 

J-Hobi 10:46 am

? zhu lei?

read.

 

i'm so happy haha. i'm ecstatic. i screeched and threw my blankets and pillows off my bed hoping the ground would open up and swallow me whole. 

 

"what did i do wrong in life to deserve this? i donate to charity sometimes and and oh god i'm a horrible person!" i heaved a dry sob as my phone pinged again. i got off my bed and started to lift up all the blankets and pillows looking for it as it pinged again. i found it under my dakimakura of Hibari from KHR unlocking it quickly there sat two more messages. 

 

J-Hobi 10:55 am

are you okay???

this is zhu lei tho right??

read. 

 

a wail crawled up my throat out of my mouth as i tried to understand what kind of k-drama i had gotten myself into. i gulped gripping my phone writing out a response. 

 

zhu lei 10:56 am

haha sorry i meant to type something more eloquent but my dog barked! and scared me haha. but yes this is me. zhu lei. haha. 

sent. 

 

i threw my phone onto my bed again trying desperately to understand why i had said what i had said. well not said typed. but that's beside the point! 

 

"oh god, he can read those messages forever! you don't even have a dog Zhu Lei! and you wonder why you're in such a mess, it's karma! all you do is lie and charge your phone you're just like every other-" my phone pinged again and i lunged for it. 

 

J-Hobi 10:58 am

ㅋㅋㅋㅋ it's fine! mickey does that kind of stuff to me all the time 😝

read. 

 

my heart soared as i thought about his cute little shi tzu a dreamy smile encapsulating my face. before i shook my head roughly bringing my phone to my face again. 

 

zhu lei 11:00 am

dogs amirite? always doing something! can't hate em gotta love em. haha. 

sent. 

 

"what in the flying- i swear to god Lei! get it together it really can't be that hard! sure he's got the best smile you've ever seen but dear god he's just a man and men ain't-" 

 

ping. 

 

i lunged. 

 

"haha remember Lei he's just a man." my eye twitched as i looked at our text conversation. 

 

J-Hobi 11:01 am

yeah ㅋㅋㅋ anyway can i just call you lei? seems kinda weird yelling zhu lei!

read. 

 

"what in the does he think he's doing? trying to seduce me? how dare he! disgusting man." i texted him back clicking my tongue and shaking my head. 

 

zhu lei 11:01 am

hehe of course! call me whatever you want 🥰

sent. 

 

no, i'm the disgusting one. 

 

J-Hobi 11:02 am

anything? 😏

read. 

 

nevermind. 

 

"you just proved my point good sir!" i stood up on my bed bouncing around, throwing my phone to the sheets pointing at it. 

 

"you're just like all other men just want to get a quick fu-" my phone pinged and i slammed down onto my knees reading his message. 

 

J-Hobi 11:03 am

sorry i was joking 😣 hope i didn't make you uncomfortable

read. 

 

"oh you could never Hobi my sunshine, my light, my world." i cradled my phone to my face giggling and sighing. 

 

zhu lei 11:03 am

no of course not! but...

sent. 

 

"oh damn they bold bold!" i cackled to myself kicking my feet around in the air. 

 

J-Hobi 11:03 am

..but?

read. 

 

zhu lei 11:04 am

well since you can call me lei does that mean i can call you hoseok?

sent. 

 

J-Hobi 11:04 am

hah. yes yes! hoseok, hobi, anything else it doesn't matter 🥰

read. 

 

zhu lei 11:04 am

omg great! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*｡

read. 

 

"hehe hoseok. hehe." i giggled and chewed on my pillow holding my phone tight to my chest again. 

 

hoseok🌻 11:05 am

omg you use kaomojis too???? 

read. 

 

zhu lei 11:05 am

omg yes??? they're amazing who wouldn't use them!!! 

sent. 

 

hoseok🌻 11:06 am

( *'꒳'*)੭⁾⁾

read. 

 

zhu lei 11:06 am

☆♫ ٩( 'ᆺ｀)۶♫ ★ you dancing hehe

sent. 

 

hoseok🌻11:07 am

i think this ones better! ＼＼\\ ٩( 'ω' )و //／／ 

read. 

 

zhu lei 11:07 am

omg you're right! so cute!

sent. 

 

hoseok🌻11:07 am

hehe so i'm cute?

read. 

 

i flushed red to the tips of my ears at his message. i couldn't believe i was being so affected when it was only texting! just imagining how much worse this would be in real life made me reply back. 

 

zhu lei 11:09 am

yesh 👉🏼👈🏼

sent. 

 

i squealed rolling around my bed again before shooting to my feet running out of my room into the bathroom. i looked at myself in the mirror slapping at my cheeks. 

 

"you're a god lei calm down it's just one man." i grabbed my cheeks pulling them this way and that before squeaking and letting them go. 

 

"owww." i soothed the ache in my cheeks rubbing them slowly in circles. i slammed my fist on the sink counter again crying out from the pain. 

 

"what is wrong with me! stop hurting yourself!" i pushed myself away from the counter turning to leave only to slam into the door groaning in pain. 

 

i continued walking out of the room holding the side of my face stumbling to my kitchen. i moved things around in the freezer before finding a bag of peas bringing it to my face. i stood back up opening my fridge looking around for something before locating my spring rolls and pulling them out hurriedly. i held the container of take-out close to my body as i grabbed peanut sauce and closed the fridge door with my foot. as i made my way back to my room i picked up a bottle of water balancing it in the crook of my arm. 

 

i flopped onto my bed my phone bouncing and falling to the floor. i set all my food down beside me reaching over the side of the bed grabbing my phone seeing i had 4 messages. 

 

hoseok🌻 11:09 am

oh?

hoseok🌻 11:11 am

i just realized that could come off very ual sorry!

hoseok🌻 11:15 am

um haha please don't be ignoring me i'm really sorry

hoseok🌻 11:20 am

also just just realized that i'm probably annoying sorry!

read. 

 

"no munchkin! i'm the one who's sorry! why am i so dumb oh my god!" i frantically wrote out a reply to him. 

 

zhu lei 11:30 am

omg no hobi!!! i'm so sorry! i went to get food but i forgot to bring my phone with :( please don't beat yourself up over this. 

sent. 

 

"omg why isn't he responding oh god it's been 3 minutes. what if he got hit by a bus or just died!"

 

zhu lei 11:33 am

if anything i started it! haha you're just really hot!

sent. 

 

zhu lei 11:36 am

omg please ignore that! 

sent. 

 

i shrieked just looking at the string of messages wishing i had thought through what I typed before i had sent any of them. 

 

"why? just why? why!" i punched my pillow feeling tears well up in my eyes from the amount of shame coursing through my veins. 

 

"dumb coconut headass. dummy big pabo no one likes you!" as i kept steamrolling around, kicking, and yelling my phone pinged. i sat up grabbing my phone reading the message before instantly wheezing and falling backward. 

 

hoseok🌻 11:45 am

hehe thank you (๑ơ ω<)♥

[image attached]

 

 

read. 

 

"v-vile absolutely vile! how dare he? doesn't he know i have a life to live? children to care for? crops to be watered!" i laid my phone face down on my bed and started lightly punching it just looking for any outlet for my frustrations. 

 

zhu lei 11:46 am

oh wow haha you're so c i mean no you're not jk... unless?

sent. 

 

hoseok🌻 11:47 am

you're so cute ㅠㅠ can i have a pic of you too?

read. 

 

i blinked dumbfounded at my phone trying to process the string of words he had just sent me. a picture? of what? oh of me? of me? me! i scramble upwards phone in hand running to the bathroom looking into the mirror i noticed a red line on my face. 

 

"no! lei you're so ugh! why can't you just pay attention for once!" i looked at the other side of my face noticing it was fine giving my reflection a thumbs up before opening my camera app. i positioned the red side of my face away and put my fingers up in a peace sign snapping a picture. i set my phone down looking at the picture it was fine could be better but i had to work with what i had. 

 

zhu lei 11:52 am

hehe sure! here you go (๑＞◡╹๑)

[image attached]

sent.

 

hoseok🌻 11:55 am

oh wow you look great! i hate to cut this short but i have to go to dance practice. ;ㅅ; i'll talk to you later though?

read. 

 

zhu lei 11:56 am

yeah of course! bye-bye!

sent.

 

hoseok🌻 11:56 am

(｡･o･｡)ﾉ

read. 

 

"oh my god he hated it!" i cried out as i laid back down in bed cradling my phone to my chest. sighing i sat up and pushed my hands together in a praying motion. 

 

"it's a good thing i have 6 more shots then!"