hoseok did respond later that night and we kept talking for hours on end. even the days after that we kept talking steadily. as a couple weeks passed i realized my biggest mistake to date. worst than accidentally texting J-Hope, worse than falling down a flight of stairs, even worse than spilling my coffee on attractive men. 

 

i had forgotten to text the others. 

 

i couldn't believe that i had been so idiotic. hoseok had even mentioned the other members and even how jimin had asked yeah that's right asked when i was going to text him.  but of course i acted like it didn't even happen and continued on with my day. but now? now hoseok had forced me to answer. 

 

"that's so sick! stop it!" i slammed my head against my cars steering wheel. i couldn't comprehend why he really even needed to know. 

 

hoseok🌻 6:05 pm

hey i know uve been ignoring the topic but i rlly gotta know when ur gunna mssg the other guys they've been pestering me endlessly

read.

 

i sighed and decided that maybe just for once i needed to actually explain what my problem is. 

 

zhu lei 6:06 pm

uh yeah i'm gonna just been putting it off cause er well i have severe anxiety and stuff so like haha 🤣✌🏼

sent.

 

i laughed nervously gathering up my things in my car making my way to the elevator. as i pressed the button for my apartment floor my phone vibrated in my pocket. 

 

hoseok🌻 6:10 pm

oh ! i'm so srry i didn't know that ): pls don't feel pressured to mssg them if it makes u anxious

read. 

 

zhu lei 6:10 pm

no it's okay! i should've said something earlier but um well i thought you might treat me differently 👉🏼👈🏼

sent. 

 

hoseok🌻 6:11 pm

no i'd never ): i'm srry if i gave u the impression that i would but i understand how you feel

read. 

 

zhu lei 6:14 pm

wait really?

sent. 

 

hoseok🌻 6:15 pm

well not entirely but yoongi-hyung has anxiety so i know what it's like from his angle ya know?

read. 

 

as i unlocked my apartment my phone vibrated in my hand. 

 

zhu lei 6:16 pm

yeah totally! wow i didn't know that. honestly that makes me feel better :)

sent. 

 

hoseok🌻 6:16 pm

happy i could help!!! (๑•̀∀- )و now just take ur time theyll wait for u 

read. 

 

i put my hand against my mouth leaning my head back on the door. they'd wait for me? why? i didn't understand but at the same time the butterflies in my stomach made me feel so unbelievably good. i couldn't help the small little laugh that slipped out before i slipped into a fit of giggles. i slipped my shoes off overwhelmed with happiness. 

 

maybe things weren't truly all that bad.