. . . . .

I want you to go out with me. 

Do you want to be my girlfriend?

Kim Taeyeon waits for the fireworks to explode in her chest, but she feels two hands on it instead. Her eyes flutter open to see Seungwan holding her at a distance with a nervous smile. A dumbstruck expression clouds Taeyeon’s face as she watches a hand card through caramel locks. 

“Unnie… I’m— I don't know what to say. That's very flattering... thank you for telling me how you feel, but—” Seungwan falters while ransacking herself for an explanation. “I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same. It’s nothing to do with you, please don’t take it the wrong way! It’s just…” she tries to let her down easy but ultimately sighs. “I don’t know, I’m just really sorry. You’re very pretty and—”

Taeyeon scoffs. Huh. Reality hits hard. Even she isn’t immune to the sting of rejection.

“That's sweet, Seungwan.” The senior cuts into the girl’s broken-record rambling with an icy tone. “You know, you’re the first person to turn me down. That's not easy. I bet lots of pretty girls confess to you before getting their hearts broken. In a messed up way, this makes me want you even more. But you like someone else, don't you? I guess I can respect that.”

Seungwan mentally curses. 

Taeyeon side-eyes her. “It’s Joohyun, right?”

Crickets.

“Do you love her?”

….. 

Taeyeon removes the puffer jacket hugging her shoulders and hands it back to its owner who's just staring across the city. “It’s okay. I probably shouldn’t have asked anyways. I’m going back in. I suppose I’ll see you in class.”

Nodding like a puppet on strings, Seungwan bids her farewell. Her fingers itch for something to fiddle with; the zipper of her jacket, the embroidered Champion logo on her left sleeve. For a few minutes, she contemplates. 

It’s not that she’s a prude or that she has zero interest in girls whatsoever. Back in high school, there was just no time for dating when she had made a promise to her eomma and appa to maintain straight As, and keep her position as Head of the school’s competitive debate team. And then she got various summer jobs as soon as she was old enough to work. Every now and again, a pretty girl would laugh at her overused work jokes, they'd giggle at her awkwardness then slide her their Instagram handles or Snapchat codes. But Seungwan would always take weeks to respond because she was exhausted from her shifts, pulling all-nighters for exams and all the other lame excuses she came up with. 

If she’s being brutally honest with herself, she has never really had a heart-fluttering moment with anyone before. 

But… Joohyun unnie. Just the thought of her makes her heart beat like crazy. She’s intimidating, thrilling, she’s uncharted territory. Taeyeon is right, through and through. It’s not just a pretty girl she wants. It’s Bae Joohyun. 

[11:53 p.m] Instead of her fists, Joohyun feels her rage threatening to pool in her waterline.

. . . . .

Taeyeon aims a snide glare at her as she brushes past, and the insecurity bubbling in her stomach worsens. Taeyeon's expression was proof enough of a rejection, but it doesn't erase the fact that she got to Seungwan first, and Joohyun's too caught up in her own feelings to blame herself right now. Her mind tugs at her to just leave the younger girl waiting outside in the cold and help Jennie and Chaeyoung take cute couple photos by the vintage beer sign. She knows she’s being salty, but so what? She saw everything. Eventually, she levels out and slides the balcony doors open, stepping out with their drinks and suffocating the beaming smile that Seungwan gives her with a laugh.

Joohyun’s mockery seeps into Seungwan’s ears like twinkling bells, and she gets a bad feeling. She can feel it. She doesn’t know how much Joohyun saw, heard, or if she witnessed anything at all, but something is off.

She gulps dryly. The bottle of Hitejinro burns from Joohyun’s hand to hers, but not as much as the vibes she’s giving off now. Seungwan takes a tentative sip, really hoping her senior hadn’t seen anything that had happened with Taeyeon, though she thinks it best to address it for honesty's sake.

“Unnie, I—”

“You don’t have to tell me anything. I don’t care about her.” Joohyun cuts her off, smile plied with mayhem and gunpowder. 

Okay, so she saw.

Heat spikes through Seungwan’s veins at not knowing how Joohyun is feeling at the moment. She’s obviously ticked off, and she clearly isn’t going to talk about it. Which is honestly worse. It hurts that talking to Joohyun now feels like keeping up those meaningless conversations she had earlier on in the night. Seungwan finds the air void of oxygen when the older girl turns to fix her with a half-lidded gaze.

“Be honest Seungwan, you already know what I was going to say.” Her voice is poisoned with honey, as usual. “I’m being unfair, right? I’m unfair, so just reject me already. Don’t waste your time.”

Surprised beyond belief, Seungwan barely notices the shuffling beside her and then the gentle draft grazing her skin. falls open to say something, but by the time she finds the words—

There’s something you should know, too, unnie.

— Joohyun is gone.

An uncomfortable moment of silence passes before she turns around to see Yerim signaling to her to come back inside. The junior saunters back into the restaurant to find Yerim and Jennie tamely downing shots of soju amidst a gaggle of wet-eared juniors carelessly shotgunning beers and cheering each other on. A few of them try to convince her to be on their team for the final round of beer pong, but she politely declines, walking over to her friends and sinking into a chair. Her eyes briefly catch sight of Taeyeon and her group of friends in the corner booth gossiping and pointing at some other girl while Jennie classily pours her a ‘welcome back to the chaos’ shot. Seungwan’s nose crinkles a little reluctantly at the chemically peach scent, but she surrenders with a quiet groan. 

Suddenly, the consequences of a hangover don’t sound that bad.

Cupid, have mercy on these poor kids.