Plato says every heart sings a song incomplete until another heart whispers back.

Joohyun envisions star-crossed souls, relentlessly searching. She recalls the intricacies of high school love letters; how she ignored the stutter in her heart when she saw a couple kissing by the corner candy shop. 

Son Seungwan.

Do you know my heart dreams too? Of lipstick stains and dried pressed flowers, studious all-rounders who balance everything perfectly in life. Vows like bets, honeymoons in paradise and holding hands along the sun-kissed horizon. I’m a hostage of the cinematic lovesickness plaguing my You-cluttered mind. 

A fragile,

disorientating,

indescribable love.

The past few weeks have felt like a whirlpool of everything and nothing. Their shared assignment has progressed but she isn’t sure how much of what she’s contributed has just been her paraphrasing Seungwan’s ideas because she has none of her own. How the hell is this happening? How can one dumb girl wipe her memory clean like it’s the easiest thing in the world?

All her thoughts; rewritten. Highlights of Seungwan fleet through her frazzled mind like video-game glitches and she surrenders herself to the reel. Seungwan using her spare change to buy a can of sardines for the stray cat who lives by their bus stop, Seungwan stopping to help an ajumma carry her heavy grocery trolley up the bus, the strawberry blush in her ears after one shot of soju, her brows furrowing in concentration when Joohyun teaches her how to properly fold a sheep hat at the jimjilbang. 

Son. Seung. Wan.

It’s so unfair. Just the syllables of her name dancing along the ridges of her brain blooms a corsage of Sakura flowers on her twisted heart. That sunlight shimmering smile is beginning to scare her.

For the first real time, her world is tinted roseate.

I hope you’re as responsible with the heart you hold in your palm as you are with your academia.

[10:06 p.m.] Joohyun tears the corner of a packet of Lemona Vitamin C while her lecturer’s recording buzzes on her laptop. In the background, Jennie and Sooyoung bicker over the last Yakult.

. . . . .

She’s still in her own world when Jennie reigns victorious. The sofa dips on one side of her and she snaps out of it. The feline-eyed girl peels back the lid and takes a sip. “Daebak, this is like the sweetest Yakult ever.”

Sooyoung flips her off, not taking her eyes off her phone screen. 

The three are sitting haphazardly, Jennie on the floor, all doing their own thing in the living room before going to bed. “It was kinda cute, don’t lie,” Jennie suddenly peers.

Joohyun’s spaced-out eyes meet hers, and she swallows around the corner of the slim aluminium packet. “Huh?”

“Seungwan being all awkward. I swear she was gonna confess or something.”

Maybe. Joohyun follows her eye roll with a playful grin. She doesn’t regret telling her friends about what happened yesterday. What she does regret is not saying anything sooner.

“Did you at least make sure there was tension? Like before she walked out?” Sooyoung joins the conversation with a typical piece of advice. Tension, tension, tension. “Or you could’ve caught her at the door…”

“Yah,” Jennie cuts in, “they aren’t even together yet , who does that to a study buddy?”

“Uh, is a thing, you know,” Sooyoung defends herself. 

“I don’t want her like that,” Joohyun scorns with a scolding smack on the back of her head. She gets up to chuck the empty vitamin packet into the small rubbish bin by the kitchen. “I want her as my girlfriend.”

Jennie chokes on the last of her drink while Sooyoung rubs the back of her head.

“What?” Joohyun scoffs, “is it so weird that I want to have a serious relationship?”

The other two glance at each other before squinting in unison. “Uh, yeah.”

Joohyun slams the spacebar on her laptop, now fully invested in the discussion that’s definitely going to happen. “Okay, why though?”

Sooyoung shrugs. “I dunno, why do you want her as a girlfriend? I thought you just got thrills from flustering the poor kid.”

The girl in question just chuckles airily, but leans in with a guilty smirk. “I mean… honestly speaking it’s kinda fun teasing her. Her ears get all red and she trips over herself like a baby puppy.”

“Yeesh, Hyun,” Jennie plays along, clutching at the goosebumps on her arm. “You sadist. Better hurry and fluster her till she has no choice but to submit to your charm.”

Joohyun laughs and grabs Totoro, who was sitting next to her unsuspectingly this entire time. “Aish, it’s just harmless teasing. Plus, Seungwan's a smart girl. I’m sure she knows it’s just all in good fun.”

“Is it though?”

“Mhm.”

Sooyoung warily eyes the death grip her friend has on Totoro’s poor, fluffy face. “So why aren’t you confessing?”

Joohyun drops her gaze for a second. She taps his embroidered eyes thoughtfully before snapping up again.

“I will.”

“You… you will?” Jennie asks, getting up from sitting on the floor. Joohyun nods.

“Yep.”

Sooyoung tugs at her Kaws Champion hoodie drawstrings, not quite sure she heard right. This is the first time their friend has been so hesitant to do what she feels. “Daebak-ah, when will you even find th–” Realisation dawns in waves. “Tomorrow. The party. Wow, I hope that girl has the ambulance on speed dial when you do. You’re seriously scary, Hyun.”

Jennie’s laugh echoes all the way from the kitchen. “We’ll get her there. After she passes out, you grab her legs and I’ll grab her head.”

Ignoring her, Sooyoung leans in, curious. “Why confess now though? Surely this isn’t the first time you’ve considered it.”

Joohyun looks at Totoro, who smiles innocently up at her. “Hm, timing.”

“… timing?” 

“Timing.”

. . . . .

Cupid must be somewhere clapping. Finally.

. . . . .