“Insecure people only eclipse
your sun because they’re
jealous of your daylight and
tired of their dark, starless nights.”
—Shannon L. Alder

WHEN words we do not comprehend or understand, reach our ears, we are conflicted and reminded on how powerful words truly are. One misinterpreted word could become an avalanche of lies. One phrase said out of jealousy ... could ruin the life and reputation of another. “Sticks and stones may break my bone, but words will never hurt me” has always been nothing but a simple lie—trying to make us believes our minds are stronger than our bodies. A bone broken can heal and the ache will never be as strong as when first broken. A scar may be left behind and a weakness can be overcome; words we carry with us through a lifetime. They shape us and come back with our darkest thoughts letting us know how useless we truly are.

I was surprised by how quickly the week had gone. Starting Monday after school I had practice. The girls team practiced in the old gym while the boys team practiced in the newer gym where the games were held. I was exhausted the first few days. I didn’t have energy to even finish my homework for school. Taeyong would help me keep up with chemistry. He was truly a saint, staying after school to make sure my grade did not fall below a C, or I wouldn’t be able to play. Sometimes I would invite him over for dinner and like always he was fine with that because Taeyong wanted to see Jisung.

They were sort of inseparable. Jisung loves Taeyong and I think more than our actual brothers. There were a few people Jisung loved more than his family, Chenle and Taeyong. I was exempt—Jisung said so himself how I had my own category no one could take because I wasn’t just his sister, I was like a mother to him. I clung to him like a koala, placing kisses on his cheek for a solid hour after he said that. He may have acted grumpy, but he went to bed with a smile on his face.

Luckily, Jaehyun and Zelo were also exhausted from practice. Their first game was next week, as was the girls’. Lunch was quiet because we didn’t know what to say. Doyoung would nag at us if we only spoke about basketball. Taeyong would talk about the dance competition the dance club would be entering and Doyoung, well we didn’t know what Doyoung was doing because we all had our own things.

“Are you okay with the idea for the project? I know Lisa picked it and all, but...”

I was putting my history book back into my locker. The last class of the day had been history. The only class I had with Doyoung. Majority of my classes I had with either Taeyong or Jaehyun. I had no classes with Zelo, and I was excited that I had a class with Doyoung. He stood beside me, looking at me worryingly like the mother hen he was when it came to me.

“It’s fine.”

“We could change it. I know Lisa did it for her own likes.”

“It really is okay Doyoung. She stopped grumbling about being stuck in our group once we let her pick the topic.”

We were assigned a group project. Doyoung and I looked at each other from across the room the moment our teacher said we could pick our own groups. They would be of two or three. I thought it was going to just be Doyoung and I. Yet, Lisa came up to us with this bright smile, asking to join. I turned my gaze to Chaeyoung—her usual partner but she had her own group of three. I wasn’t close to Lisa, Yerim was. It was awkward at first and Lisa seemed to not even want to be with us until I said she could pick the subject in history she wanted to present. Lisa picked fashion.

“What did she talk to you about?” Doyoung walked with me, to my basketball practice.

After class, Lisa had pulled me aside. She had asked if I knew how to get close to the new kid—V. I was taken aback by that question. I would see V every time I would go up to the rooftop. Sometimes he would be sleeping. Sometimes he would be walking along the ledge with this bright smile, as if it wasn’t dangerous. He nearly gave me a heart attack when I found him standing on the ledge with his arms wide open feeling the wind. I had run up to him and clung to his torso, telling him life was worth living. He made sure to make fun of me for assuming he would jump.

Other times, I would see him sitting with Jimin and his friends. He didn’t talk much. He would sit on the edge of the lunch table. Jungkook had made attempts of talking to him and they seemed to work for the most part. It gave the girls in the school who were crushing on him, a chance to slip a note on his food tray. He acted like he didn’t see them, but I asked him about it, and he said he knew they were there, and he also knew he could not return their feelings. Instead, he said it was easier to pretend he didn’t see them and let the girls think they still had a chance. He was starting to become a heartbreaker. Albeit a sweet and innocent heartbreaker.

But we had never been seen together. I acted like I didn’t know who V was and he was okay with that. I explained that for the most part of my life, growing up with boys as my closest friends, the girls always would come to me to see if I could help them win any of my friends over. V said he would make sure to pretend he didn’t know me.

It worked only a little. People had seen us, the day I showed him around the school. That was why Lisa had asked. Jisoo, her friend and cheer captain, wanted a chance to get to know V and I was the only girl who had gotten to not only have him speak to me but smile at me.

I lied. I told Lisa I had only ever talked to him that one time.

“She wanted to know if I could help Jisoo get close to the new kid.”

“That’s pretty ridiculous. Have you even talked to him after that one time you helped him?”

I had. In multiple occasions but no one knew and I kind of liked this thrill of having a sort of secret friend. He didn’t seem anxious on letting people know he knew me either.

“Not really but Jimin is friends with him. I guess, you know since I’m his sister.”

“Ridiculous. If they keep bothering just let me know.”

I laughed as Doyoung patted my shoulder. “Okay mother.”

He laughed along but turned to look at me. “I’m serious Joy. We’ve hit the age where if we weren’t aware of the opposite before, we are now. I mean, Jisoo already doesn’t like you due to Namjoon rejecting her.”

“I had nothing to do with that.” I pouted while Doyoung only wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to the gym.

“I know. I know.” He pushed me in with a grin. “Go show everyone why you’re the best!”

When Doyoung left my side, I was happy but froze when a group of girls stood in front me. None of them were part of the team. I could see some of them whispering to each other as they looked at me. My eyes shifted everywhere until I recognized Hayoung, one of my teammates. I quickly made my way to the side of the court the girls’ basketball team stood with our coach.

“What’s going?” I asked once I stood next to Hayoung.

“Cheerleading tryouts. Those are the hopefuls.”

I looked back to the group of girls who were now in their own little groups. I didn’t see Jisoo or the cheer team advisor. Instead, I focused on getting ready for our drills. Every so often I would peek to the girls wishing to be called a cheerleader. I did recognize one face as I scanned the group, and it was Yerim who was running towards me.

“Joy! Hey, I haven’t seen you all week.”

“Sorry, I have practice.” I shrugged. I figured Yerim was too busy watching Jungkook practice anyway. “I didn’t know you wanted to be a cheerleader.”

“I didn’t but Lisa talked me into it. She said it would be cute if Jungkook and I ever start dating. A basketball player with a cheerleader.”

“You still like him?” I was surprised. By the end of a week, she was usually on to the next guy. “I thought you would have given up by now.”

“I’m serious about him, Joy. I really do like him. I don’t care if it takes years—I will date Jeon Jungkook and he will like me.”

I had never seen such a determined look in her eyes before. I believed her. I could only wonder why now? She had meet Jungkook around the same time he started to hang around my house with Jimin. It was at least a couple of years. Suddenly, it was like this year her eyes were open to Jungkook. I smiled down at her. Yerim could honestly have anyone she wanted. She had her own group of fanboys that was a modest size. She was friendly and kind. Jungkook was lucky to have her attention.

“I wish you luck.”

“Thanks! Also, is it true you know V?”

“I know of him.” I replied, starting to get annoyed with being asked about him. He wasn’t so hard to approach.

“That’s what I told all those girls but there’s a rumor going around that the only girl he has ever spoken to is you and since you’re practically one of the boys—you would know how to approach him.”

There it was again. That phrase. It never bothered me before, so why did it now? I let those thoughts sink in me. I didn’t reply to Yerim, not like I could when I was called over to start practice and she was called over to begin tryouts. I noted how Lisa was the first to cling to Yerim and ask a question before waving to me.

《↞❀↠》

“Good job today girls. We’ll be deciding who will play in the game on Monday. Have a break this weekend but don’t be too lazy. You’re excused.”

The moment we were excused I threw my tired body to the left of the bench I was sitting on. Hayoung signaled bye but I didn’t move. I looked down to my watch, Jinyoung had about another thirty minutes before he was free. I closed my eyes. Thirty minutes to spare. I wondered what I could do. I didn’t want to do homework. I had tomorrow for that. Maybe I could go to the rooftop and converse with my mother. Just the thought made me tired.

I didn’t notice I was drifting off to sleep until I felt a cold bottle placed on my forehead. I jumped, opening my eyes to see the culprit. It was Jaehyun. He had this giant grin, and I knew it was from scaring me. I sat up, taking the cold Gatorade from him.

“Thanks, what are you still doing here?”

Jaehyun jumped over the bench and sat beside me. “Taeyong actually got these for us, but he was called into the student council by Namjoon for something. I came to deliver the gift.”

“Ah, yes this is more of a Taeyong thing to do.” I joked, nudging Jaehyun with my elbow.

“I do nice things.”

“Only when you want something in return.”

“Well, nothing in this world is truly free.” Jaehyun’s smile was bright, with his dimple showing. “Hey, I know you’re not one to care about rumors, but have you gotten ear of the latest one?”

“No. Should I have?”

“No. Rumors are stupid and I’m glad you’re not like other girls who just like to gossip.”

“If you think about it, it’s almost like I’m not a girl.” I joke but Jaehyun turned serious at my words. I watched how he tightened his jaw before looking at me.

“Joy, you are a girl.” His eyes were so serious and firm that I could only nod. I watched as he tucked a stray hair behind my ear. His actions surprised me, making me slightly jump and eyes widen. “You, are a beautiful girl.”

A serious Jaehyun was not one I was used to. He was one of my best friends and other than Doyoung, I was the closest to Jaehyun. He would tease me majority of the time with his fake flirting but never had his tone sounded like this. I nodded, breaking our eye contact. I knew I was a girl. The moment I got my first period, and my grew, I knew I was a girl and not like my brothers. Whether I believed I was beautiful or not was a different story. Minho always called me cute. Jungkook wasn’t shy about saying I was pretty. And I think, in not so many words, when V gave me the flower he had picked—he also called me beautiful in my own simplistic way. This was the first time I heard it from Jaehyun and not said jokingly. It made me wonder what the rumor was.

“I know I’m a girl.”

“Of course!”

I jumped again when Jaehyun yelled. He stood up; his face was flushed. I watched as he avoided looking at me and stretched around.

“I should go. Zelo is waiting.”

Jaehyun left. He waved goodbye and was gone before I could say that I would walk with him. I was once again left alone in the basketball court. Shrugging, I saw a basketball on the ground across the gym. I placed my bags down and went to pick up the basketball. I dribbled it a few times before standing on the side to throw a three-point. I settled in and aimed. The ball hit the basket and bounced out. I pouted, hearing the echo of the ball bouncing in the empty gym.

“You need to work on your follow through and stance.” The deeper voice made me slowly turn on my heel. It was Sehun.

“How long have you been there?”

He was leaning against the doorway that led to the outside where students lucky enough to own their own cars, would park. I watched him stand straight and walk towards me, leaving his gym bag next to mine.

“Long enough to see that sorry attempt at a three-point shot.”

“Hey! It wasn’t that bad.” I countered as he amusingly laughed at me.

“Joy, that was a horrible shot.” Sehun made my breath hitch by simply smiling at me. He stood beside me, pushing me aside by bumping my hip. I moved and watched him take aim and go for the shot. It went in—not surprisingly. The ball did not touch the rim, just going right through the net in such an intricately effortless way. I was left in awe with my mouth hanging open when Sehun turned around to look at me with a cocky smirk on his lips. I always knew Oh Sehun deserved all the praises he got. Today, I was just reminded of it.

“Come here.”

Sehun pulled me by my elbow to stand in front of him he handed me the ball and made me take a stance. This was reminiscent of when we were younger and it was summer vacation, out in the park. The only difference was that I was aware of my feelings for him. He squared my shoulders off and tentatively squared off my hips. There was suddenly a shift and I stiffened, glancing to him through the corner of my eye. He seemed to think through something before he stood behind me, arms going to my own, lifting them in the stance.

“You’re focusing too much on just your arms, due to being shorter than me, you have to use more power from your legs together with your arms. You need to squat and then push—making sure to follow through. Like this.”

I let my body follow as he made me squat and the sensation of how it would be if I were to try again. I followed it, aware of his proximity to me. I turned away from looking at the basket, looking over my shoulder to look at him. He was facing forward until I turned, and he looked at me. I gulped. He was so close and had