The first time that the new teacher's assistant walks into the classroom is also the first time that Taemin realizes that he is gay. He never even wanted to study Economics, but his parents wouldn't pay for his University degree of an Art History major unless he studied Business as a minor. As much as he tried to fight it at the time, now Taemin is grateful for his overly conservative parents.

The teacher's assistant introduces himself as Lee Jinki, and instantly Taemin pictures how their names will look next to each other on the wedding invitations. Which is ridiculous because Taemin doesn't even want to get married. Or at least, he didn't. Also, he doesn't believe in love at first sight.

But then somebody asks about the previous teacher's assistant. This person called Lee Jinki quickly tells them that she has had a perfectly healthy baby boy. Then he smiles, broader than any human should be able to, and Taemin becomes a believer. Somebody in class says something, and suddenly this person called Lee Jinki starts laughing, loudly, heartedly, and any traces of doubt evaporate. Taemin just knows that this is the person who he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

After the class he feels dazed, but at the same time relieved, like he has finally found the missing piece to his life. He's still sitting in his seat, getting used to this big change in his existence, when his friend taps his shoulder, and tells him to hurry before the cafeteria fills up.

The hall is getting full, but they manage to get some food, and find a free table inside, which is lucky because it will probably start raining soon. Not that Taemin cares the slightest.

After nibbling on a banana, he finally asks:

“Hyung... How do you like the new teacher's assistant?”

“He's okay.” Minho shrugges. “He explained everything calmly, even though those idiots kept asking stupid questions. So he seems pretty patient.”

Taemin doesn't remember anyone asking anything. “Don't you think that he's kind of... handsome?” He asks the obvious.

“Handsome? Him?” Minho looks up with an exaggerated surprise on his face, indicating that he doesn't find the question obvious. Once he sees that Taemin is serious, he adds: “I guess he could be called handsome... in that normal, mundane sort of way, maybe.”

Taemin's jaw drops open. Mundane? Even though he knows that his friend has a tendency to be obnoxious, Taemin has never wanted so badly to hit him before. Mundane? How can he say that extraordinary beauty is mundane?

Luckily, more of their friends now join them, so Taemin manages to snap out of it before he does something as stupid as hit a friend (who is nearly twice his weight and spends half of his waking hours in the gym).

The first time that the new teacher's assistant wears white skinny jeans to class is also the moment when Taemin realizes that he is a ert. In his defense, it is big. And very obvious. Teacher's assistant Lee Jinki keeps it to the right, and Taemin can almost see the outlines of it. Over the course of his life he must have seen hundreds of men, thousands even, and he has never cared enough to look at any of them twice. But now he can't look away.

When Lee Jinki turns around to write something on the white board, it's not much better, because the jeans hug his thighs and his backside and suddenly Taemin has troubles breathing. He uses his notebook as a fan to try to cool down in this overheated classroom, and sneakily looks around.

Although he expects all the students to have similar kinds of problems as himself, everything seems normal. The diligent ones are taking notes while the lazy students are half asleep. He doesn't get it. How everyone can just continue their lives while the iest part of the iest person in the world is almost on full display. But after casually asking around about Lee Jinki over the last couple of weeks it has become clear that not everyone sees him the same way as Taemin does. And if he hears one more person describe Lee Jinki as 'normal', he might explode from frustration over the blindness of the world, so he has stopped asking around.

After relieving himself quietly in the bathroom after class, Taemin wonders if he has always been secretly gay but suppressing it. He looks around the hallways, but to his surprise he still finds the pretty girls attractive. The feeling is real, but hollow. It barely scratches the surface of him, is only physical, detached from his inner being, the self of him. It is astonishing how much being in love changes the feeling of attraction.

Other people are useless when it comes to gaining information about teacher's assistant Lee Jinki, and Taemin realizes that he has to go directly to the source.

He gets his chance on a sunny spring day, when it's a bit cool with a light breeze, but still absolutely lovely, the first sign of cherry blossoms starting to appear on the trees. He sees Jinki eating lunch with a friend, and lingers close by. (It's not stalking if it's the love of his life). He's lucky, because the friend leaves early, and Jinki stays a little longer, looking at something on his phone.

“Hey.” Taemin says as he sits down opposite him.

Jinki looks up in surprise, his eyes big, and his thick lips slightly parted, goofily, adorably. After a brief second he seems to come to his senses, and he smiles a little, politely.

“Ah, you are from my class, aren't you?”

“Yes.” He sees an opportunity. “Actually I wanted to ask you for help with one of the assignments?”

“Of course. Which assignment?” Lee Jinki smiles kindly.

All of him is kind. Taemin can feel the warmth of his presence washing over him, and suddenly he has no patience for pretence, and he dives right into it.

“Actually, that is not true. I just want to ask you... Do you want to go out on date with me?”

Jinki's eyes turn even bigger, and then his ears turn red, and it's so adorable that Taemin has to fight himself not to pinch his cheeks, or hug him, or do something much, much worse.

“Is this... a prank?” He states hesitantly.

“No.”

“I wasn't aware the students knew I was out... and if this is some sort of a joke...”

“It's not a joke.” Once Taemin understands what he means by 'out', he adds: “I had no idea if you were gay or not...” He had never even thought about the possibility that he might not gay, because he had to be. “I just... want to go out with you, so I'm asking.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Jinki stares at him for a moment, as to determine if he is serious.

“Then... yes.”

His smile is warm, and so infectious that Taemin feels himself smiling back, the warmth spreading throughout his entire body until he is sure that he has never been happier.

The first date passes like a dream and with every second Taemin falls deeper in love. More than anything, Jinki is kind, and so sweet that the taste of honey feels bitter in comparison. He's obviously smart, and funny, and also sometimes not funny which makes Taemin roll his eyes at his lame jokes, but somehow also love him even more. Then there is his voice, which simultaneously sounds like the choir of angels and the seduction of the devil, and Taemin needs it in his life forever. To encourage him, to uplift him, to . To please him.

And Jinki is gorgeous. As soon as Taemin has decided once and for all that those thick, strong thighs are his favorite body part, Jinki smiles and it seems blasphemy that he could ever have thought that his favorite part could be anything other than his perfect brown eyes, that turn big when he's listening and small when he's happy. But while Taemin is cursing at himself for his own stupidity, the light falls on Jinki's perfect cheekbones, or his ears become red when Taemin calls him hyung, or he his thick precious lips, and then all bets are off. Also, there is the bulge. Jinki is wearing skinny jeans again today (black), so there is always that bulge.

At the end of the night, before they reach the metro, Taemin looks at him seductively and asks:

“My place or yours?”

Granted, his roommate is at home (and has no idea that Taemin is on a date with a man). But Jongin has lived a sheltered life, so it's time that he experiences life. (Even though it is only through listening to the loud gay noises of his roommate).

But instead of answering this (very) important question, Jinki just stares at him quietly, and eventually says softly:

“I don't... usually go home with guys after the first date.”

Taemin huffs, slightly impatiently. “So? I never go home with guys, but I'm willing to make an exception.”

“You've never been with a man?”

“Nope.”

For some reason, the spark in Jinki's eyes fades, and he looks down. Taemin has no idea what is happening, until Jinki mutters down to his chest:

“There's nothing wrong with experimenting... but maybe I'm not the best person for that.”

“I'm not experimenting.”

“But you...”

“I'm not.” Taemin repeats stubbornly. “I just... know that you are the person that I want to be with.”

“Be with?” Jinki looks at him and tilts his head. “Do you mean... like forever?”

“Yes.” Taemin answers easily. But when Jinki doesn't say anything he asks: “I suppose that's a bit crazy to admit on the first date?”

“A bit.”

“I get it. But I'm serious about us so I want to be honest with you, and...”

“I just said it was a bit crazy.” Jinki interrupts him. “I didn't say I didn't like it.”

“You like it?” Now it is Taemin's turn to be surprised.

Jinki shrugs shyly. “I just... It's kind of manly. Brave. I didn't expect that at your age.”

With his androgenous appearance, it isn't often that Taemin is called manly. His chest swells up, and he becomes even bolder, bites his lip slightly and asks again:

“So hyung... My place or yours?”

Jinki laughs out loud. “I'm still not going home with you. Not yet.” Judging from the redness of his ears he isn't as calm about the offer as he pretends to be.

Taemin's lips push out into a pout, even though that 'yet' makes his heart jump around in hope. But before he can object, Jinki says:

“Besides... if you really see this as... a long term thing, doesn't that mean that we have all the time in the world? That we should enjoy all stages of getting to know each other?”

As soon as he says it, Taemin realizes that it's the truth. He has been so impatient for their life together to begin, that he hasn't noticed that it is already begun. This is about the journey, not the destination. If everything turns out the way he wants, this will be the only relationship either one of them has for the rest of their lives. Every moment of it is precious, to be savoured, not rushed.

“Okay. I won't pressure you for .” He answers with a smile. “But I want us to be exclusive.”

“That's fine.” Jinki replies with a smile so bright that the entire world glitters.

Wishing he could kiss him right here on the street, Taemin settles for squeezing his hand.

The first time Jinki invites him home is not until their fourth date. And not before repeating at least twenty times that this is only to watch a movie. Jinki's apartment is small, but cozy. His bedroom barely fits more than his bed and a tiny closet. Taemin likes that his bed is small, and pictures them lying there, pressed up against each other, . But Jinki insists on watching the movie in the slightly larger living room with the small kitchen area. That is also fine. They sit down on the couch, with Jinki's laptop on the coffee table in front of them.

Taemin has promised not to push for , but he's not a saint so he uses the opportunity to touch Jinki where he can. By now, he has figured out that Jinki's thighs makes his ears red and creates a beautiful shade of pink on his cheeks. Lightly the back of his neck makes his breathing hitch, and Taemin leans close. His snuggling is not completely innocent, but he's pretty sure that neither are Jinki's skinny jeans that he always seems to be wearing on their dates. There is simply no way that he hasn't noticed how Taemin stares at him.

The movie is over way too soon.

“Should we watch another one?” Taemin hopes.

“Nah... I think we should call it a night.” Jinki says, and stands up, looking a little stiff.

Taemin puts on his shoes and is prepared to leave, but first mentions something about the movie. Jinki responds with a smile and somehow their fingers interlock while talking.

When they have exhausted everything that they can think of to say about the movie, Taemin looks into his eyes and admits:

“I had fun tonight.”

“Me too.”

“We should do it again someday. Soon.” He adds, and moves a little bit closer.

“I would like that.” Jinki says sweetly, and his eyes flutter down to Taemin's lips before looking back into his eyes, and Taemin knows it's time.

Slowly, he moves closer, until their lips graze so slightly that it's almost nothing, but it makes him want everything. He needs to taste him, so he puts his arms around Jinki's shoulders, around his neck, and presses their lips together, his mouth slightly open, inviting. Then it happens. Jinki kisses him back. Hesitantly at first, but somehow their lips fit together. They fit together. They become two halves of a whole and their feelings that can't be expressed with words escape through the kiss. It's overwhelming. The feeling of this being right, the thick anticipation over everything that will happen between them. A lifetime together. Taemin's insides are buzzing, all of him is, and he keeps falling deeper and deeper in love.

Jinki breaks the kiss, and rests his forehead against his, slightly panting, his breath warm against Taemin's lips.

“Tell me you felt this too?” Taemin presses.

“I did...” Jinki's voice is hoarse, fragile, and Taemin wants him in his arms forever.

“I'm telling you. This is it.” He repeats stubbornly. “You and me. It's fate.”

Normally when he mentions them being destined, Jinki laughs it off, but now he is dead silent, which makes Taemin think that maybe he is starting to believe it too.

He backs off and smiles, cups Jinki's cheek, let's his thumb graze his lips and resists the urge to kiss him again. As much as he wants to, this was their first kiss, and it was perfect. He wants it to stand alone, so Jinki will remember it even when they are old and gray.

But his boyfriend is too beautiful to resist, so Taemin makes a compromise, and kisses his flawless cheek softly instead. And because his heart is overflowing he whispers quietly into his ear:

“I'm in love with you Lee Jinki.”

Then he backs away and smiles, squeezes his hand slightly before letting go, and then leaves before Jinki feels the pressure to say something back.

Because in spite of everything, Taemin does realize that this is only their fourth date, and he knows that Jinki is not at the same place as he is. Not yet, but he's getting there. Taemin doesn't want to rush him, because he needs it to come from the heart once that special moment comes, when Jinki tells him for the first time that he's in love with him. Taemin doesn't mind waiting, even if it is for a long time, because he knows with all his heart, and all his being, that they are going to be together forever.