[ 14 February, 5 years prior ]

Jungeun never cared for Valentine’s Day. Maybe it had to do with the fact that her birthday was 4 days prior to the romantic holiday. That, or because she just found the idea of a day where you are supposed to express your love to someone stupid and superficial. Weren’t you supposed to do that everyday anyway?

Her roommate Heejin seemed to have a different feeling about today. All her hopes were set on one of the prettiest girls in their college, Gowon. That was not her real name but everyone called her Gowon, because she was just so out of this world. Heejin had come up with the perfect plan to ask her out.

“What if it doesn’t work out Jungie?” Heejin asked. It was the early morning of Valentine’s Day, or for Jungeun a normal Tuesday. Jungeun and Heejin were getting ready for classes. 

“If what doesn’t work out? Jungeun asked, confused. She hadn’t had a good night's sleep and was brushing the knots out of her hair frustratedly.

“Oh come on Jungeun, today is Valentine’s Day. The most romantic day of the year.” Heejin said, swooning. Jungeun rolled her eyes at the comment. 

“It is just another day Heejin. This whole romantic crap is just a commercial way for companies to capitalize off love. Besides it’s stupid.”

“Jungeun, I get that you’re still mad about what happened with Sooyoung, but can we focus on me for a second? I want to ask Gowon out today, I really like her.” Heejin spoke the words staring up at the ceiling, daydreaming away thinking of the gorgeous blonde. 

“I want to make a good impression on her, but I don’t know what to wear,” 

Jungeun sighed and put down her hairbrush. “Alright, let’s see how we can make this porcelain doll fall for you.” Jungeun walked towards Heejin’s closet. She pulled open all the draws and started pulling out clothes she liked and tossing them on the bed.

“ Jungeun what are you doing? ” Heejin yelled, but Jungeun didn’t stop.

“ Bingo! ” Jungeun shouted. From the back of Heejin’s closet she pulled out a white dress with ruffles and a red bow on the front. It looked classy and elegant, it was perfect. 

“This is what you need to wear, Gowon will love it I guarantee you.” Jungeun held out the dress to Heejin. Heejin took the dress from her roommate and looked at it. She had never worn this before, it was a gift from her grandmother, but Heejin found it too old fashioned for herself.

“Are you sure?” Heejin asked hesitant. Jungeun nodded. 

“Of course! Gowon is always wearing those vintage dresses that make her look like a 50’s housewife, this will totally fit into that genre.” Heejin looked from the dress to Jungeun and gave her a small smile. 

“Thank you Jungeun,” 

“You’re welcome,” Jungeun said proudly, but her bubble quickly burst when the realisation of the mess Jungeun had made hit Heejin.

“Clean up this chaos you caused now, Kim Jungeun!” Jungeun sighed and started collecting the clothes from Heejin’s bed. Jungeun looked over at Heejin to see if she was really mad, then her roommate burst out laughing. Jungeun joined in and while joking around with each other they cleaned up the clothes together and finished up getting ready for their classes.

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[ 30 minutes later in class ]

“See you later Heejin, let me know how it went!” Jungeun said, walking into the college building. She waved at her roommate who continued on walking to her class. Heejin was an arts major and so was her crush Gowon. Arts was located in a different building on campus. Jungeun watched her friend disappear in the distance. She hoped for a good outcome for her, Heejin was one of the few friends she had here. 

Someone else she was close to was her fellow journalism classmate Haseul, they had hit it off right from the start. Their passion for journalism and making a change in the world is what connected them. Jungeun had always felt so comfortable with Haseul. Not only did they share the same interests, but Haseul was always there when she needed a shoulder to cry on. This had made her years in college more bearable , especially after her break-up with her ex-girlfriend Sooyoung. Jungeun wouldn’t have gotten through that period of time without Haseul. She was her best friend here, or more than that?

Jungeun and Sooyoung had been together since high school. Jungeun was an introvert, loved reading and was fascinated discovering new things about the world. Her best friend Jiwoo was not interested in any of that, much like her then not yet girlfriend, Sooyoung. Sooyoung had been part of Jiwoo’s party crew, she was one year above Jungeun and Jiwoo. 

Sooyoung had not been a very dedicated student and did not pass her final year. She had to redo it all, making her classmates with Jungeun and Jiwoo. Jiwoo, who was friendly with Sooyoung, suggested that Jungeun would help tutor Sooyoung, which is how their relationship started. Every Friday Jungeun would go to the library with Sooyoung and they would work on strengthening the subjects she was failing in. 

Sooyoung would always make flirty remarks at Jungeun, but Jungeun would dismiss her advances and tell her to focus on her work. Jungeun knew what kind of girl Sooyoung was, of course she was gorgeous but this was obvious to every girl in school. That’s why Sooyoung had a reputation- one in which Jungeun had no interest. She wanted to graduate with good grades so she could get into the best colleges. 

As soon as Sooyoung started passing classes there was no need for tutoring anymore. She invited Jungeun over to her place to hangout. She said that it was the least she could do after Jungeun had helped her. She accepted the offer and they hung out on a Saturday night. That night, one thing led to another and that’s how their relationship started. 

Jungeun felt insecure because she felt like the older girl was out of her league, she didn’t just want to be another girl to Sooyoung, but her girlfriend would always comfort her and shower her in compliments. She sure knew how to make a girl feel special. Jungeun melted under her words of affection and fell for her completely.

Jungeun might have been the well-behaved student, it was the daring side in Sooyoung that made the younger girl fall for her. Sooyoung would be so adventurous Jungeun did not have to pretend to be more around her and that’s what she liked. She could let her guard down and feel free. From her first night with Sooyoung, many other firsts followed. They completed each other, Jungeun helped keep Sooyoung in check and Sooyoung reminded Jungeun to let go from time to time and feel free.

When graduation came Sooyoung’s grades were not good enough to get into the top colleges. Devastated to be separated but knowing it was best for their future the two lovers attended colleges on opposite sides of the country. They split their time visiting one another every two weeks. Sooyoung attended a college in Busan with a reputation of wild dorm parties and one night stands. Jungeun knew this, but she trusted her girlfriend far away surrounded by pretty girls. 

One day Sooyoung called saying she was feeling unwell and that traveling to Seoul would cost her too much energy, Jungeun told her to stay in bed. Disappointed their plans were canceled, Jungeun decided to surprise her girlfriend and travel to her place instead. 

Sooyoung having handed her the key to her dorm she was able to access it by herself. Jungeun had brought some noodle soup she had picked up on the way, Sooyoung’s favorite. Without a worry, she unlocked the door to Sooyoung’s apartment, but what she witnessed there was the last thing she had expected.

Horror filled her eyes, on the bed in the small apartment lay Sooyoung with another girl on top of her. Jungeun caught them in a passionate make-out session. They were so lost in each other they did not notice Jungeun’s entrance who stood frozen in the door opening unable to process what was happening right in front of her. Jungeun let out a scream and forgot everything surrounding her, she let go of the cup of noodle soup that splattered all over the tile floor. The two girls on the bed stopped their actions in shock and stared at the person that had entered the apartment. 

“ Jungeun? What are you doing here?” Sooyoung gasped at the sight of her. 

“I- I thought you were staying in Seoul- I didn’t know you were coming, I-” She stammered, shocked she was caught in the act. Jungeun stared at her girlfriend who was trying to hide under her sheets. The girl on her lap had gotten up as quickly as possible and hastily started getting dressed gathering her clothes from the floor.

A tear rolled down Jungeun’s cheek, smearing the mascara she had applied on the train to impress her girlfriend. She has dressed in a blouse and skirt she knew Sooyoung liked, all to make her feel better while being sick. A glare of anger with an overpowering sadness was shot at Sooyoung. Sooyoung stared back at Jungeun with regretful eyes.

“Jungeun- I am so sorry” Sooyoung started her sentence. 

“Please believe me when I say this was a mistake. It did not mean anything- I promise.” The older girl continued, she had wrapped the sheets of her bed around her body. 

“I was not in the right state of mind I never meant for you to see this, I am so sorry.”

The random girl had gotten up and quickly exited the apartment and Jungeun was so lost, she did not even notice her leaving. She was so consumed with her own thoughts, she could not even look Sooyoung in the eye. Sooyoung slowly approached her and tried to reach her hand out for Jungeun’s.

“Jungeun- please say something,” Sooyoung said, grabbing ahold of Jungeun’s hand clenched in a fist alongside her body. Jungeun’s entire body was shaking with anxiety. She jumped at the sudden contact of skin and pushed Sooyoung away. 

“ Don’t touch me! Don’t you dare touch me,” Jungeun spat, more tears stinging in the corner of her eyes.

“Jungeun please, just let me explain-” but Jungeun did not let Sooyoung finish. 

“No, I have heard enough. I turned my life upside down for you and this is how you repay me?” Jungeun cried out staring at Sooyoung with red eyes. 

“Please Jungeun give me another chance, I made a mistake I can change-” Sooyoung let out a sob trying to grab ahold of Jungeun again.

“ No Sooyoung, I have done everything for you. I will not be treated this way, we are done! ” Jungeun called out. She ignored Sooyoung’s whimpers for forgiveness and grabbed her purse heading for the door. 

“Jungeun please! ”

“ I never want to see you again! Stay out of my life !” Jungeun yelled and without looking back she made her exit out of the building she had only just entered, leaving behind a tearful Sooyoung. Sooyoung fell down to her knees in the puddle of noodle soup Jungeun had dropped on her apartment floor, shedding bitter tears.

The weeks following Jungeun was heartbroken. Jiwoo tried to cheer her up as much as possible, taking her out in their free time. Unfortunately, Jiwoo attended a different college in Seoul so they did not get to see each other as much as Jungeun would like.

The only one that was always by her side, was Haseul . Jungeun had already told Haseul all about Sooyoung and when she had returned to Seoul, Haseul was the first person she we