The truth is Tzuyu was not paying attention to what was emerging between her and Mina - ‘cause as far as she knows, they were just co-existing in Momo’s life. She can never find it in herself to be alone with Mina, and for her part, Mina hasn’t invited her to hangout alone either. They didn't know how to talk to each other. They didn't know how to even look at each other. It was a mess.

But everyone knows that there is always a time when things must be defined before they are ruined altogether. And so it began.

Tzuyu doesn’t start conversations. Tzuyu just doesn’t. That’s just how it is with whoever comes into her life, and she thinks it will hardly change.

But Mina is there. In the kitchen, trying to cook Tzuyu (and her girlfriend) a nice dinner, while waiting for said girlfriend to come home from work.

She didn’t even know Mina already has a key to their apartment. Does Momo have 3 spare keys of their apartment, ready for giveaways? She didn’t even think Heechul had one and they dated for a year. Mina and Momo are dating for what? 5 months? Isn’t this too soon?

For the first time, the silence is deafening.

So much that it’s irking Tzuyu to actually start a conversation. Just to be a filler. Just to--

“Momo told me your lease is almost up. And you are looking for a new place.”

The sudden voice, albeit soft, almost give Tzuyu a whiplash. She blinks as she stutters, her lips for the sudden dry throat, “Uhm... Yes. I think she wants Sana-unnie to live with us.”

Against her better judgement, she is silently begging that they'd make it through the evening ahead unscathed. She just hopes this is not one of the nights that Momo is working overtime. Actually, it is the end of month. Maybe it is one of those nights?? How long does she think Sana can arrive if she sends her an SOS message? Her heart could only take so many beatings from this whole situation before it gave in, gave up, and gave out.

“Does Sana want to?”

Straightening herself out, thinking Mina isn’t just making small conversations, she stands up and started walking towards the kitchen where Mina is. She thinks it’s only polite to do so. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

The truth is, Tzuyu doesn’t really know what Sana wants. She knows Momo had mentioned it, and Sana brushed the topic offhandedly. The politics in Team Alien is they dance around a serious topic for a long time until it is absolutely necessary to discuss it.

“Do you want to?”

Tzuyu doesn’t Mina know too well to discern what her intention is with the way she talks. So she threads carefully, “Do I want Sana-unnie to live with us?”

Instead of an answer, she casts Tzuyu a glance, smiling. Like Tzuyu was supposed to just get it.

Focusing on the question, Tzuyu mulls over it. Does she want to live with Sana? She knows if asked years ago, the answer is definitely not. But now, with their situation and all. With Sana occasionally having someone over, and mostly than not, them sharing a bed and doing something more, the answer just got a little more complicated.

“I haven’t thought about it.” The truth. “I know she wants her space. She needs her space.” Tzuyu bites back a laugh, and Mina looks at her curiously. “But she’s here all the time anyway. Maybe, it wouldn’t make a difference? Maybe it will. Eitherway, I’m sure we’ll find a way to figure it out.”

Mina turns off the stove and Tzuyu takes it as her cue to get the plates. “Do you need help?” She walks around the small island that separates the table and the counter and grabs some plates from the rack. As she places one plate besides the stove, Mina speaks again, “Actually, I’m asking if you still want to live with Momo.”

The tone was the same as when she asked the previous questions, instead, this one brought a whole new set up of worries for Tzuyu.

The two were leaning closer and closer to what would look like Tzuyu’s downfall. She’s trying not to overthink. These days, her mind has been all over the place, graduating and all, (wanting to move on all), she thought she’s about to get things under control now.

“Yes.” She says, almost breathlessly. She really didn't know what to say, but she gave her best shot.

Mina is smiling at her, and Tzuyu can actually feel a tinge of guilt hitting her. She fights it off with a warm smile, placing her hand on her side. Even with the same personality, Tzuyu doesn’t want to be alone with this girl. She was dangerous. She felt dangerous. (Especially with the feelings Tzuyu had just confirmed having.) Those eyes, those eyes were like an atomic bomb to her. She was going to decimate everything in her very soul, leaving Tzuyu in despair.

She’s not ready for this. Not yet. She hasn’t gotten over them yet.

"I want to be honest with you," Mina whispered, as if confessing a secret.

Tzuyu raises her eyebrows, as if doubting her words, and but she nods.

"I’m not comfortable with how close you are with Momo," she admitted, taking a step closer.

They were standing so close to each other, the positions made Tzuyu step back.

Sighing, Mina drops her shoulders. “I know you two have always been there for each other. That you were there before I came into the picture and will still probably be there if I leave the picture. And I tell myself it’s not a competition...” Then she looks at Tzuyu in the eyes, “But it makes me uncomfortable, sometimes unstable, looking at the two of you. I know it can happen,” she chuckles, shaking her head a bit, “the girlfriend getting jealous of the bestfriend. I mean you felt it too, before, right? With the exes?”

It was misunderstanding after misunderstanding with the two of them, always. Momo and Tzuyu. Tzuyu wanted to clear. But she knew... oh how she remembers Jihyo seeing through her so early in her life, maybe Mina can see it too? ‘Cause apparently, whatever Tzuyu is feeling is obvious to everyone but her and Momo. Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time before the situation grew too volatile and one of them to lash out.

Mina is like Tzuyu. Only better, Right?  – like what everyone is insisting.

“The thing is... I don’t feel this...” Mina continues, patting her chest with her hand, frowning a little bit. “…with Sana. It’s ironic. I know. Sana’s the clingy one. The one who hugs and holds hands and snuggles,” she looks so puzzled like she can’t wrap her mind around it. Then she looks to Tzuyu one more time, something in her eyes Tzuyu can understand. “And you’re so nice, Tzuyu. I should actually feel bad for thinking this about you. I do, I do!” She sighs, running her hand through her hair. Then she looks up, pleading, “Do I have something to be worried about, Tzuyu?”

Maybe everyone is right. Mina is like Tzuyu. Because Tzuyu is looking at her face, and it’s like looking at the mirror. She knows what she’s feeling. She’s been acquainted with this since all those years. It’s the feeling of inexplicable fear that the person important to you is being taken away by someone else, it’s the feeling that there is someone else taking something away from you, it’s the feeling that someone else is becoming what you used to be or what you hope for to be on someone’s life. It’s jealousy.

Tzuyu knew it’s the only thing left for her and Momo. She confirmed it so she can get over it. That was always the plan – and still is the plan.

She smiles at her, pulling Mina into a hug, reigning through it. It’s not her, Tzuyu supposed. But it’s the only way she can answer without looking at her eyes.

"You don’t have to worry. We’re just friends. I like you for her.” No more is needed to be said on her part.

Content with her response, Mina hums in understanding and leans towards her, returning her hug. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

And maybe, Mina is better than Tzuyu afterall. ‘Cause she had the courage to face the truth.

Even angels fall in disgrace too.

It is eating her away, constantly niggling her every thought, and she is being consumed by it. The whole weekend had been spent thinking about it, and still, Tzuyu couldn't figure the situation out.

So she might have told Chaeyoung (because the girl doesn’t coddle her and doesn’t have any sort of attachment to Momo so she’s definitely gonna be lawful neutral, and Chaeyoung only told her: ‘how about you start with, ‘I don’t want to live with you anymore.’ I’m sure your roommate has a lot to say to that, and then you go from there?’

So that’s Tzuyu’s plan.

When Momo comes home, she’ll tell her she can’t live with her anymore.

But when Momo does come home, stumbling, Tzuyu gives her a concerned look, “Are you even going to be able to make it to your bedroom or do you need me to carry you?”

“Hey, Tzu,” Momo says, but then teeters precariously anyway. “I’m home! And… exhausted.”

“One of those days again, huh?” Tzuyu points out, before flicking some remaining suds on her hands into the sink and heading over to give Momo something to lean on.

“I’m doing what everyone else trying to make it in this city is,” Momo says, but with no real feeling behind it.

They shuffle over to Momo’s room and she doesn’t let go until Momo’s safely deposited on her bed. “I’ll make you a bread toast with bits of sugar and you’re going to eat it before you fall asleep.”

“For dinner?” Momo protests. “I want meat, Tzuyu!”

“All our meat, if we even have some left, are frozen. Bread will do.” When Momo groans, Tzuyu chuckles, “Humor me?”

Momo smiles weakly and closes her eyes, and Tzuyu skids back into the kitchen on her socks, toasting a bread in record time and then heading back to Momo’s.

Momo chews on her bed slowly, and then sighs. “This is plainly delicious.”

Chuckling to herself at her enthusiasm, and having missed these kind of interactions, Tzuyu waves off her fears and listened to her rattle on about her day. It was good, and it felt like things were back to normal.

“That’s the empty stomach talking. But I would agree,” Tzuyu says, softly, and sits on the edge of Momo’s bed until she falls asleep.

She thought of helping Momo with her clothes, but decided against it.

She feels so helpless, watching Momo fall into slumber, her hands clutched on her sides because she’s keeping herself from touching her. It’s not supposed to feel like this. Finally feeling brave enough to confess her feelings. To actually be able to put them into words. Her heart rising at just the thought.

She can’t do this to her.

She had to let go. It’s the only way.

When she remembers how to breathe, before the dam breaks, it takes every ounce of will power to stand up from Momo’s bed and head towards her door.

She looks at her one more time before turning off her lights. Tomorrow, she’ll tell her.

Lying on her back, staring at the ceiling, Tzuyu sighed.

Her mind is restless. She wishes things has been different. So much had happened with her and Momo, and now Mina that she didn't even know where to begin.

She didn’t know who to call. Maybe if she wasn’t in love with Momo, maybe if she wasn’t the reason why Tzuyu is in the verge of losing her mind, she would’ve come to her -- like she always does before she goes to everyone else.

Before tears fall down her eyes, she grabs her phone, opening her thread with Sana. After a third attempt, still with typos, she groans, and opts to call Sana instead.

Hearing the phone ringing, she waits, her body practically vibrating off the bed. However, when it’s answered, Tzuyu doesn’t say anything.

“Hello?”

“Sana-unnie?”

“Yes, Tzuyu. That’s who you called.” Sana's voice drawled.

Tzuyu pulls back from her phone and looks at the time. It’s 12:39am, surely Sana is still awake? “Are you in the middle of something? Did I interrupt?”

She hears a sigh from the other line, “If I was, I wouldn’t be picking up your call.”

She takes a deep breath, becoming mute for the next seconds.

“What is it?” This time, Sana sounds like she isn’t one second away from hanging up.

Sighing, Tzuyu shakes the thoughts clear from her head and focuses back on the road in front of her.  “What’s next on your list?”

“My list?” Sana asks, confused.

“Therapy.” Tzuyu clarifies. Tzuyu bites on her lip as she waits. She knows she should be figuring a way out of this, but one last time, she’d deviate herself from it. Therapy. She needs it. Better than falling into the mattress with Sana, right? Or they could do that too. Tzuyu hasn’t planned that far ahead yet.

Before her mind goes on overdrive, she says, “You know what? I know the drill. Just text me an address and I’ll be there. Does 10am work for you?”

“You do know it’s Friday tomorrow, right? I have work.”

Desperately she tries to think of something else, but her wits had deserted her. “Can you call in sick?”

She couldn’t see her but she knows Sana is probably frowning right now . She knew if she switched to video, she could, but she doesn’t want Sana to see her face. She doesn’t want her to see through her. But she knows, at this moment, Sana’s fighting extra hard to bite back the sarcastic retort as she takes deep breath.

The therapy is a two-way street. It’s why it’s their thing.

“No questions, remember?”

She'd fix the situation with Mina later. For now, she needs Sana.

“I knew asking you to skip that one time will bite me back in the .” Sana says over the phone, and Tzuyu is thankful she hears her laugh like she’s amused.

“It was twice. Three, if you count the Career Orientation.” Tzuyu replies back, smiling as she sinks into the mattress, relaxing a bit. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Mmkay. Wear something comfortable. ‘Tis one’s sporty.”

“Boxing?”

Sana only tiptoes on her spot beside Tzuyu, looking around with glimmer in her eyes like she’s in a department store, ready for a shopping spree. Except, when Tzuyu looks around, she can only conclude that bruises are the only thing they will take home after this.

When she sees a guy inside the ring land a good punch on his opponent’s jaw, she adds, broken bone and teeth on the list. She grimaced, feeling a cold shiver run through her spine. She tugs on Sana and makes her look at her, “Don’t you think it’s time you give me your list, so I can cross out the insanely absurd ideas you want to try so we can avoid this altogether?”

“You were the one who called in the middle of the night for this. Reap what you sow.”

“I didn’t think you have boxing in there?” Tzuyu looks around and notices they’re surrounded with guys breaking sweats and punching sandbags aggressively. “Nevermind. Can you actually give me one good reason why I would want to try this?”

Sana answers her almost immediately like she knew she would ask, “One, you love me. Two, it relieves stress. Three, It will come in handy. We never know when you’ll need it. But most importantly, it wouldn’t hurt to pump some muscles in here. “ Sana says as she grips Tzuyu’s biceps and pats it.

Tzuyu can only scowl in reply. If Sana wants her to flex some muscles, they could’ve done it on a regular gym. Not that Tzuyu thinks she needs any improvement there. She bites her lower lip and then sighs, “This looks like it’s gonna add to our stress”

On the ring, another punch lands again, that rings through the gym and the unlucky gay almost falls into his knees. It only makes Tzuyu grimace.

Sana tugs at Tzuyu, unfazed, “We’re gonna like cowards if we go out now.”

“I’d rather hurt my pride than my body.”

Sana giggles and pulls Tzuyu, nodding her head to who looks like Sana’s contact. Luckily, it’s a girl on a training suit. She waves at her then whispers, “Come on, Tzu! You can’t say no to me.”

Tzuyu shrugs, blinking, trying to keep up with Sana’s pace, “Well I can, but I’d have to hear you whine till I say yes.”

When Tzuyu looks at Sana and sees her with a big smile on her face. “Don’t clap like a seal in public.”

“I wasn’t--” Sana protests, before frowning. “I don’t clap like a seal.”

“Uh-huh,” Tzuyu says.

Tzuyu’s been on edge all day. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that her talk with Mina is still in her mind. Maybe it has something to do with the job hunting she’s currently on – because she didn’t actually think she’d find it hard to land a job. Or Momo had created a group for their future home and has been sending tons of options already, asking Sana and Tzuyu what their preferences are. Actually, a number of problems come to mind.

On the top of that list is coming home, her supposed safe haven and seeing the couple cooped up on the couch, locking lips with each other. If she had known she’d be welcomed with that, she would have taken Sana’s offer of staying over. There really was no rhyme or reason to the madness, but Tzuyu had to endure it anyway.

Today was one of those days were she just felt rubbish. No matter how much she distracts herself, she knows she would have to face them eventually at the end of the day. There was only so much she could do to rectify the situation.

Being around Momo and Mina now is hard, because they’re disgustingly in love.  It’s becoming highly disturbing.

Tzuyu easily notices the coy little smile Momo does when she pulls away from a shy Mina as she turns to greet her, “You’re home! How was your day?” The enthusiasm is always there and Tzuyu dies a little inside when they were directed at her. It was torture, emotional torture seeing her like so, especially when there’s Mina behind her back, briefly looking down, frowning, then quickly as it came -almost as if it was just in Tzuyu’s head, her eyes light up meeting Tzuyu’s. Her hands are folded onto her lap, her gaze is firmly on Tzuyu.

So, Tzuyu pretends.

The movie on, and the menu about to load, it took Tzuyu a second to realize it’s movie night. With her outside the academic year, it’s funny how she stops tracking the days. Momo offers to prepare a meal for her but she declines, saying she already have dinner with Sana.

“Actually, can I skip this tonight?” Tzuyu points to the TV and winces, “I’m tired and I just want to call it a day.”

Heading into her bedroom, she knew exactly what to do. She just wanted something to clear her head. The bath she takes before going to sleep always help. So before she enters her bedroom, she stops by the bathroom, to run a water to fill the tub.

“Hey, wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

Sana works them hard this therapy. Tzuyu’s thighs are sore. And it’s only because she didn’t stretch enough. Apparently, boxing isn’t a one-time thing. Because Sana had actually signed them up for more sessions.

Tzuyu doesn’t even have the energy to look at her. She rests her head against the tub and continues staring at the ceiling, not even stopping Momo from sitting at the side of the tub. The last time Momo had a breakdown in the bathroom, she told her she wanted a glow-in-the-dark on the ceiling like she had in her bedroom. So it’s what they did. They got dinosaurs and some animals on there and at the position that Tzuyu is in now, she’s finally appreciating the idea. It indeed is actually a good distraction.

Thus, a distraction she indulge herself with.

She starts naming all the dinosaurs she can to tire her brains out. However, Momo had always been better than her at this one.

“Talk to me, please.”

“I don’t think you should be here. We don’t want your girlfriend to get the wrong idea.”

“She knows we’re just friends. She would understand.”

Tzuyu actually felt like drowning herself.

Instead Tzuyu raised her arm, even though it hurts and points to the ceiling, “What’s that one again? The one between the Stegosaurus and Apatosaurus?”

Momo follows her finger and frowns, “There’s at least 5 dinosaurs between the Stegosaurus and Apatosaurus. Which one are you pointing at?””

Tzuyu scoffs, “The one near triceratops, with the horn and the long tail?”

“You’d have to be a little specific than that.”

Tzuyu groans, her patience running thin. This is like counting sheeps only better ‘cause it’s dinosaurs, is what Momo said. How is it relaxing every time Tzuyu tries to name them all, it felt like she’s back in class, studying the Animal Kingdom?

“You see the Triceratops, right? Then look left.”

“…I did. But the Triceratops is not in the middle of Stegosaurus and Apatosaurus.”

Seeing the look on Tzuyu’s face, Momo tries to calm her, “Maybe it’s not the Apatosaurus? Maybe you’re pointing at the Diplocodus? That’s closer to the Stegosaurus.”

Tzuyu pouts, “You know what? Forget it.”

Momo tries to appease her, “Come on, talk to me. Or do you want me to talk instead?”

Tzuyu stays silent, slowly closing her eyes.

Momo took it as affirmation. Talking about her day at work. Then Mina picking her up and going to an Italian restaurant near their office block. Then she tells her about the apartments she’d been looking at.

It used to help. The way Momo would go around her day.

Used to.

“Unnie, can we just… not?”

Momo stops her ramblings, “What?”

“I really had a long day.” She raised her arm, showing a bit of her shoulder. “I think this one’s going to bruise. Honestly, I just want to savor the hot bath and go to sleep. So, can you just leave me be?”

“My God! Tzuyu, what happened?”

Thinking the best way to get Momo out of the bathroom is to just give her the answers she wants, Tzuyu gives in, “I went to therapy with Sana-unnie.”

“Therapy?! Last I checked, it’s about healing, not getting yourself hurt. And with Sana? Wasn’t she at work?”

Tzuyu grunts, rolling her eyes, “It’s why it’s our thing. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Don’t roll your eyes at me. It hurts when you do that. Like you don’t want me here. “ Add salt to the wound that yes, therapy is Sana and Tzuyu’s thing. Something Momo will never be part of, so it seems. “And this is supposed to be our thing, yet you’re not talking to me.”

“And I told you, like a dozen time, I don’t want to talk. I don’t want you to talk either. Can you take a hint, for once?”

Tzuyu knows it’s mean. Especially with her raising her voice. She had never raised her voice on Momo, or to anyone, really. But she can’t hold it in. Not today. Not now.

Momo doesn’t move from her spot. But Tzuyu knows, one look and she knows what Momo is gonna do next. So before she can twist the knife deeper, she looks at her dead in the eyes and says, “You’re my friend. Just my friend. You’re not my keeper. And recently, with all the incessant asking: what I’m doing, where I’m going, how my interviews are going, and now, with those apartments… Can you just stop breathing down my neck?”

For just a brief moment, Momo should’ve seen the sign. This was how she was back when she was dating Chaeyoung. Not the rebellious phase, that was just a part of it. But it was more of Tzuyu pushing her away, keeping her at arm’s length.

When Momo’s jaw drops open, about to say something, Tzuyu continues. This time, without the aggression, without the attitude, but still, with the urge to keep her away. She looks at her and hopes she can convey the truth and Momo can actually get it, “When you’re near, I feel like I can’t breathe. And I hate it. I love you, I love you so much, yet I can’t stand being near you. I spent the day at a boxing gym, my body feels sore, I feel like I got hit by a battering ram, and you wanna know the worst part of my day?” She looks at Momo, her eyes almost teary, “is coming back here. Coming back to you.”

At that, it looked like Momo was slapped. But Tzuyu wasn’t deterred, “How can I suffocate in my own home? How can I hate being with you?”

Momo was speechless. Left speechless. She knows she’s angry and Momo is there as the collateral damage. And Momo wouldn’t take offense, instead she’ll be understanding.

And before Momo can fully process what she had said, can ask where did it all go wrong, Tzuyu shakes her head, closing her eyes. “Don’t.” She pleads. “Don’t say anything. Just give me space. Let me breathe.”

To tell the truth... she doesn’t know what she’s in the mood for.

 But Momo left her after that.

(Except, then, some things can’t be ignored forever.)

It’s a few minutes later, after Tzuyu steps out of the bathroom - that she hears a muffled voice coming from inside Momo’s bedroom.

They were talking about her. Creeping forward, Tzuyu hid next to the open door, completely out of sight, and listened in.

She knows she shouldn't have, but she was curious.

Keeping quiet, she hears Mina mutter something before Momo started speaking again, “She’s just my bestfriend! How many times are we gonna talk about this?”

Tzuyu’s eyes widen, her heart thumping. They have been fighting over this. Not just now. Many times.

“And I’m telling you, I’m trying here, Momo. I’m really trying. But you’re really making it hard when you make it clear she will always be your priority.”

“She’s clearly having a hard time. What am I supposed to do?”

“And if I walk out right now, would you follow me, or console your bestfriend?”

Tzuyu understood all at once where this bile had come from.

“M-Mina--if … if...” It hangs there, and then finally she just pushes out the part of the question that matters. “Is it going to be you or Tzuyu?”

And just like that, Tzuyu knows, she shouldn’t stay to hear what Mina’s answer would be.

She can’t do this.

Not now. Not yet.

“If I knew I would only be earning this little in this prestigious profession of mine, with take-home stress, I would’ve chosen a different career.” Jihyo says, leaning back to her chair, setting down her bag and iPad on the chair next to her. She sips from her coffee and almost moans at the taste. Caffeine has been her comfort drink in college, now it’s like water to her—still the caffeine does its magic. “So, how’s the job hunting for you? I knew you said you want to apply for apprenticeship first before opening up your own clinic?”

Tzuyu can still feel the aching in her arms and legs from the boxing they went to with Sana yesterday, but the aching in her heart is much more prominent. So she goes straight to the point, “Do you want to move in together?”

“W-what?” Jihyo clarifies, almost spitting her coffee.

She shrugs, “Our lease is almost up.”

“I know, Momo has been in my inbox for weeks. She wants this and that, and I keep telling her I’m an architect, not a broker.” Jihyo chuckles, shaking her head. She crosses her legs, then sets down her coffee on the table.

Tzuyu sighs, and meets Jihyo’s eyes, running a hand over her face, dejected, “I mean… move in with me? Just me.”

“Why? Can’t take Momo’s craziness? I mean adding Sana to the mix, I know it can be too much.”

Noticing, Tzuyu is looking more frustrated as she goes on, she cracks a nervous smile, “Okay. I’m sensing this is something else. Want to talk about it?"

Tzuyu chuckles under her breath and shakes her head. There was no point. It would be a waste of words, as well as be a burden Jihyo didn't need.

But who else is she gonna talk to? She doesn’t talk about this with Sana. She doesn’t want to worry Jeongyeon – doesn’t want her to drive for hours just to talk to her in person and give her warm hugs. Chaeyoung would give her validation and company and let her figure it out herself. She needs radical answers and she knows Jihyo is the only one who could give it to her.

“I’m in love with Momo-unnie.” She whispers, even now, afraid to say it out loud, and her eyes doesn’t betray her.

The shock on Jihyo's face was almost comical, but Tzuyu is in no mood to laugh. Reality was crashing back in on her.

Previously, she had been playing it safe, because she didn't have the words to lie or plead her way out of any trouble she landed in. With Jihyo, though, she could talk enough for the both of them.

Tzuyu lets Jihyo process it. She knows her next words won’t be, ‘I called it.’, or ‘Oh my! Tell me everything!’ She knows – hopes, Jihyo would be the sweet salvation she has been pining for.

"I’m in love with her and it’s why I can’t live with her anymore." She says it as if everything had been so simple, as if she hadn't let her insecurities ruin what would surely be a beautiful relationship. In what universe does she think it would be better to taste the forbidden fruit? Why chase something that won’t go anywhere?

She knows Mina is there to stay. She knows Momo is moving on with her life and Tzuyu should too.

And if she wants to move on, she can’t torture herself anymore.

As Tzuyu meets Jihyo’s eyes, she knows Jihyo understood this. She knows she doesn’t have to say all that out loud for her to comprehend. Because Jihyo had seen it on Day 1 and didn’t force it out from Tzuyu. She stayed there by her side and that was enough and as comforting to Tzuyu.

She gives Tzuyu a sad smile and extended her hand for Tzuyu to take, and Tzuyu takes it with no hesitation. She squeezes it with both hands and closes her eyes tightly.

“I’m guessing Momo doesn’t know yet? What do you plan to do?” Jihyo puts her other hand on top of Tzuyu’s and brushes her knuckles trying to comfort her.

Tzuyu shakes her head, trying not to cry. She knows she can. In front of Jihyo, she can.

These past months, it had been hard, dreadful in some aspects. But Tzuyu got through it. She had. And she’s just so tired of this excruciating pain that she just wants to get over it. She’s moving on. She’d be happier. It’s just a matter of time. She just needs to get through this.

“I don’t know yet. Just that I can’t commit myself with her. Not when she’s that excited. I just know she’d be asking me to look at places soon. And I want to tell her before that. Can you help me?”

“I will help you get through this, Tzuyu. You know I would.” Jihyo gives her a reassuring smile with a squeeze on her hands. Then, she takes a deep breath, “But how are you gonna tell her you won’t be living with her anymore without telling her the real reason? Don’t you want to--”

This, this was what Tzuyu had hoped to avoid. She doesn't want this. She just knows she won’t be able to handle to lay these conflicting emotions towards her. She doesn’t want Momo to hate her.

Before Tzuyu can notice, Jihyo had already moved around the table and beside her, giving her a hug she didn’t know she yearned for. At the closeness, she couldn’t help the tears from falling anymore.

She wanted to hide away, far from Momo’s reach. So far that she couldn't do anything about it. That wasn't happening. Her feelings for her weren't dying, and in some occasions, they're grow stronger.

“You have to know she can never hate you. Even with this. Especially with this. She loves you too much.”

Tzuyu has been avoiding Momo for over a week.

She's had with Sana half a dozen times, since the confrontation with the girlfriend, and made out with her at least twice as much. Therapy, she tells herself every time it happens. Because it keeps happening, with increasing urgency, the more each one of this unrequited love continues to shut her out. Tzuyu isn't sure why she's so surprised at how good each time is, at how it only seems to get better the more they familiarize with each other.

Feelings aren't in danger of being caught, but Tzuyu will admit to a certain something growing between them. Expectation maybe? That this will continue to happen, and is welcome so, by both parties involved. How they don't even pretend they actually is aware of what’s happening, but that honesty somehow contributes.

Tzuyu’s wearing a top that exposes her shoulder blades, and Sana can see the way they move beneath her skin when she stretches. Tzuyu bites her lip when she concentrates, hums when she reads through her laptop and makes a note of something important.

Tzuyu feels Sana’s eyes on her, watches her gaze as it dips down her body, to her collarbone, her chest, her thighs. She almost shivers under the attention, goosebumps forming on her skin.

“Like what you see?” she quirks a brow, putting on her usual, confident smirk.

“What would you do if I said I did?”

Something snaps inside her. As if this is what she’s been waiting for, been holding her breath for. The tightness in her chest fades, the tension in her shoulders falls away. Sana’s pupils are blown, eyes dark.

Sana moves from where she’s been lounging on her stomach to where Tzuyu sits at the edge of her bed. She brushes Tzuyu’s hair over her right shoulder, and presses her lips to the nape of her neck. Tzuyu inhales sharply at the contact. Her entire body tenses beneath Sana’s touch. Sana smirks against her skin, kissing around her neck to the shell of her ear, and nipping at her earlobe.

Sana’s expecting Tzuyu to push her away with the way those fingernails dig into her shoulders. Tzuyu can practically picture the half moon bruises that will be left in place when she lets go.

The hand on her stomach moves lower, avoiding the heat between her legs and moving just above her knee. Sana’s fingers brush up her inner thigh slowly, too slowly.

Sana’s lips move from her chest to her ear, kissing her earlobe before she tugs it between her teeth. Tzuyu presses their lips back together, tugging at Sana’s bottom lip with her teeth as Sana’s fingers resume their slow journey up.

She can see why Sana likes being on top so much. Her thighs quivering and tensing around her head, fingernails digging into her scalp, the way Tzuyu is no doubt biting her lip to try and quiet the moans spilling from her lips, makes her feel powerful.

Tzuyu wanted to cry in frustration, and her hands were tugging harder on Sana’s hair to let her know to cut that teasing out. She couldn't be dealing with that right now. She needed her, and this was all nothing but torture. Whimpering louder, she pulls her hair, making Sana move upwards towards her and kisses her hard.

Tzuyu's phone vibrates on the nightstand, and she fully intends on ignoring it, but when it goes off a second time can't help but reach to grab it.

“Rude,” Sana growls, kissing her way along Tzuyu's collarbone. Her affections expanding the more they fall into bed together.

“Sorry,” Tzuyu replies halfheartedly, setting the phone down on the mattress without looking at it.

“Better be.” Only then does she stop, much to Tzuyu’s obvious disappointment. The hands in her hair try to pull her back in, and Sana can’t help the little giggle that leaves her.

Tzuyu's toes curl when Sana nips at a pressure point, the move just distracting enough that she doesn't notice her picking up her discarded phone.

“It's Momo,” Sana informs, using her position of straddling Tzuyu's waist, to keep her from shifting upward to snatch the device back.

“Don't,” Tzuyu warns, reaching for her phone, even though Sana ha her pinned.

“How much time do you need?,” Sana goes on, ignoring her by reading the text aloud. “The distance is doing us damage than repair.“ forms a thin smile.

“I miss you,” Sana reads.

But Tzuyu will not let her hopes get up.

“Come home. Come back to me.” Sana an eyebrow. She sits up, stopping her teasing, and relaxed as she lays Tzuyu’s phone on the side on her mattress and sighs. “I’m her bestfriend. You do know, that she tells me these things, right? That you’ve been avoiding her for days?”

 “I thought we don’t talk about our problems?” Tzuyu’s tome becomes snappy, the sudden urge to shut Sana up comes forward.

“The loophole here... Is that I have to sit through her rants of not knowing where you are and me knowing where you would be and what you’ll be doing.”

“Then,  why don’t you tell her?”

Sana thinks it over.  “I’m still playing it on my mind. Hey Momo, don’t worry she’s not hitting drugs with Chaeyoung. She’s actually sending me texts on how we’ll each other senseless tonight. So can we get this over with?”

Tzuyu glares at her. 

Sana tosses the phone onto the floor, lowering herself so that her lips are just inches from Tzuyu's.

“Stop fighting.”

With Momo?

With her own self?

Tzuyu would never know. She can only breathe slowly before Sana closes the gap for a kiss.

Tzuyu tells Momo she’s staying at Jihyo’s for a bit. Jihyo got her on a part-time job, and Tzuyu wouldn’t say what. Because she insists it’s only temporary until she gets the apprenticeship she wants.

Only one night turns to 3 days.

And then 3 days turns to a week.

Momo is in the verge of losing her mind.

Momo wiped the angry tears from her face. “I’m sorry if I’m ‘breathing down on your neck’ constantly but, God, Tzuyu! That’s what friends do! And if you want me to treat you like an adult, then you should really start acting like one!”

"Do you really not want to live together anymore?" Momo asks quietly. Tzuyu was never going to acknowledge the elephant in the room so someone had to.

Tzuyu looks away, ashamed, her hands fidgeting in front of her as she shook her head. Momo knew before she opened she was going to lie to her.

Tzuyu doesn’t even give her a straight answer. She shakes her head, still not looking at Momo.

"Tzuyu, please don't lie to me." She was begging her, and Tzuyu crumbles. Tzuyu looks at her sadly, and took a shaky breath, wiping down her hands on her jeans as she did so.

"I can’t live with you anymore." Tucking her hair behind her ear, Momo watches her drop her bag to the floor and take a seat in the couch. Joining her, Momo raises her eyebrows in question and prods for her to continue.

"Why?" She goes near Tzuyu, ignores the way she flinched at lessening the gap.

“Honestly, this doesn’t feel like home to me anymore.”

“And Jihyo’s is?!”

"It's just, Mina-unnie talked to me and I didn't want to hurt her by hanging out with you all the time. I know she thinks we're more than friends, and that has to be putting a strain between you two, so maybe it's best if I let you be for a while. I don't want to mess things up, complicate things, or get in the way."

"You're not," Momo says interrupting her. "You're not complicating things at all. Mina and I will work through this. You don’t have to--."

"Right, like how you worked things out with Nayeon?"

"What I had with Nayeon was very far from what I have now with Mina," Momo replies, anger bubbling up within her. “Look, this your home too. Spend the night so we can talk about this.”

But Tzuyu is already out the door.

,.,.,.,

Tzuyu didn't think she could feel worse than in that moment. Jihyo had driven Tzuyu back to her apartment where she’s currently staying, and Tzuyu was wrapped up in her bed, hiding from the world. Tzuyu’s heartis breaking, and she’s powerless to stop the tears from falling.

It wasn't fair. The whole situation was completely unfair. Love just wasn't enough, and knowing that in some situations, love for someone wouldn't be enough to help them, to support them, to make them feel safe, it’s tearing Tzuyu apart.

Tzuyu wanted to protect Momo. Tzuyu wanted to hold her hand when she was scared, hug her when she needed to feel safe, kiss her when she needed comfort, and stand beside her through the storm. But she’s already spoken for. So what else can Tzuyu do but to let go?

Because the reality is, Momo doesn’t need Tzuyu to be more than she is to her right now. And that hurt Tzuyu more than Tzuyu ever thought it would. Tzuyu wasn’t enough for the girl Tzuyu loved, and if Tzuyu couldn't be with her through this, then it didn't look like she'd ever be with her.

And Tzuyu was the idiot who fell hopelessly in love with her.

“Come here.” Jihyo’s tone is anxious, worried and frayed.

“Can you stay?”

Jihyo's is frowning in sadness, and shakes her head before leaning closer, “You never have to ask.”

“Do you think we’ll be okay?” Tzuyu is sort of hoping she wouldn't mention what happened, as she wanted to forget her breakdown as much as possible. It had been good for the two of them, sure, but that didn't mean she wanted to relive the tears and the vulnerability of it all.

“I hope so.” She gives Tzuyu her best smile although Tzuyu can’t see it.

Tzuyu falls asleep with Jihyo’s breath against her neck, and Jihyo’s arm around her waist, and cries until she literally can’t feel a thing anymore.

As Jihyo, patting Tzuyu’s hair, she realizes… it’s not the things they’ve said to each other that breaks them apart, it’s the words that are left unsaid.

Momo would need to wait. Whatever her problem is, it most likely wasn't going anywhere. Technically, things were still moving forward. Tzuyu needs a little bit longer.

,.,.,.,.,

She gets a call from Jeongyeon. Of course she does.

Because in Team Alien, when all the efforts are futile, they always use the Trump Card: Jeongyeon.

When Tzuyu tells Momo she’s moving in with Jihyo instead, all hell break lose. The line is silent for too long, so much so that Tzuyu can feel the dread building in her stomach for reasons unknown. Reasons she actually did know all along, but only dawn on her when Jeongyeon finally speaks again.

“Promise me this isn’t what I think it is,” she breathes lowly.

A lump forms in Tzuyu’s throat, because… It might’ve only been a week ago, but the dust could not be more settled on the whole passive-aggressive she’s pulling then again on Momo. So when Tzuyu’s been quiet for far too long than Jeongyeon would consider appropriate for a question so loaded.

Jeongyeon’s probably ordering a hit on Momo this very second. Crap. Tzuyu shakes away the racing thoughts, doing her best to sound certain while she speaks. Because she is certain. She is.

“I promise. We’ll be okay. Don’t come.”

She hears Jeongyeon sigh from the other line, “You can tell me anything, you know that.”

“I know.”

After Tzuyu hangs up the phone, it’s almost like she can hear a train roaring at the back of her, running in full speed. If she doesn’t make her move, everything else is gonna come at her.

It’s like two am.  Momo is going to kill her.

She doesn’t stop to start caring, and just calls her.

Momo sounds groggy and alarmed when she picks up.  “Hello--Tzuyu?  Why… is everything okay?”

Then it’s completely silent for a long time, until Tzuyu some more of the semi-cool night air into her lungs and breathes out a soft, “Hey.”

“Hey,” Momo says back, rustling some sheets and then yawning audibly.  She still doesn’t say anything else, and it hurts that this is what it’s come down to between the two of them.

“Sorry--” Tzuyu starts to say, before moving further away from the front of the bar, where people are smoking and talking loudly.  “I knew I had to call, but I forgot what I’m about to say.”

“Are you drunk?” Momo asks, after a moment.

“I… yes. But I’m with Jihyo. I think, I’m okay?” Tzuyu protests, but it’s weak.  It’s weak because she’s not even sure that if she is really is okay.

“You’re with Jihyo,” Momo says, quietly but assuredly.

Tzuyu shivers and glances to the front of the bar, where Jihyo is peering out and looking for her.  She gives her a quick thumbs up and watches her leave again, and then says, “Yeah.”

Momo says nothing for a long moment, but then asks, “When are you coming home, Tzuyu?”

“I… On Saturday. Is that okay for you?”

Momo laughs quietly and then says, “Wha—Is that okay for me? Really? Why are you talking like you’re setting an appointment?”

Tzuyu sighs, and then laughs a little, “Just, ‘cause.”