It’s unlike everything she had ever felt before. Her heart clenched at the sight in front of her. Of her roommate making out with this beautiful petite girl across her. And Tzuyu tells herself it’s because she’s uncomfortable of witnessing PDA this close. But later she’ll realize it’s much more than that.

She slowly closes the door, afraid to make a sound. She turns around and leans her back into it, looking up trying to calm her heart. Why did it hurt? She keeps thinking. She closes her fist and put it on top of her chest and the other pointing to her temple. Why, why, why?

It’s like there’s something intangible squeezing her heart, climbing its way up to , constricting it as her heart beats. Her stomach churns like she’s about to vomit. Her vision becomes blurry as tears well up in her eyes.

Trying to clear her mind she starts walking aimlessly on the hallway towards the elevator.

She keeps pondering on the question, why. Before she knows it, she finds herself in front of their apartment building.

She hailed a cab quickly, but as she’s getting in, she hears a ding on her phone. The weight in her chest felt heavier as she reads the notification.

MOMO: Are you close? Food is here.

She her lips before answering. Her fingers are shaking as she retypes every word, with typos all over it. This is the first time she’d be lying to Momo, and she supposes it’s easier because they’re not meeting in person.

TZUYU: I’m sorry, Jeongyeon-unnie invited me to spend the night. I forgot to say?

Not really. It was Tzuyu who insisted to crash Jeongyeon’s place out of nowhere and the older girl didn’t question it. But as Tzuyu tries to erase the image burning in her head, she nods to herself thinking it’s right. It feels right. It feels… like it’s the only option Tzuyu is left with.

MOMO: :(

MOMO: I thought you’re on your way home??

MOMO: it’s movie night. You can pick.

MOMO: I even ordered your favorite. Come home???

Tzuyu would almost chuckle bitterly. Is Momo even gonna mention she has someone over? That she has someone crashing their movie night? That she has someone locking lips with?

TZUYU: already at her door. Sorry :(

But Momo wasn’t making it any easier. She sent a bunch of crying stickers, and then a selfie of her on the couch pouting, with the food in front of her. Then a picture of a table set for Tzuyu. Tzuyu almost felt bad. Tzuyu almost changed her mind. Only if you zoom Momo’s selfie, you can see the other girl’s sweater, clearly cropped out of the picture.

Was Momo gonna introduce her to Tzuyu as a surprise?

But not to be obvious, and as it was against Tzuyu’s nature to ignore Momo, she replies:

TZUYU: we can do brunch tomorrow.

TZUYU: I’ll get you your favorite on your way home.

MOMO: okay ☹

MOMO: I miss you. Say hi to Jeongie for me.

No mention of the girl. Really, Momo?

Jeongyeon opens the door with a bright smile on her face and ushers Tzuyu to enter her small apartment.

The apartment smells good and Tzuyu realized she just came right about dinner time. Lucky her.

It didn’t take long till she’s introduced to the girl she found her roommate kissing that fateful night. Im Nayeon. Momo said she met Nayeon on a bar that Wednesday night she and Sana went out, that night Momo didn’t come home, that night Momo told her she’s spending the night with Sana.

The lies and the secrets… Tzuyu realizes she hates everything about it already. But alas, she would bury the bad feeling deep inside and ignore it. She welcomes Nayeon as best as she could. Or as much as her introvert self would welcome this overwhelming, loud, overfriendly new stranger. That every time she comes over, Tzuyu would be locked in her room, or going out. She could only count the times she was forced to spend the time with them both and she loathed every waking moment of it.

1 month of them dating, with Nayeon crashing their movie nights from then on, and Tzuyu finally labels the ‘bad feeling’ she’s been getting ever since she has to sit through Nayeon and Momo being lovey-dovey with each other. She tells herself she’s jealous of Nayeon because of who she is as a person. She’s everything Tzuyu wanted to be. She’s confident, she’s funny, she’s smart… and really, a persona of a social butterfly.

Tzuyu has a steady pace towards her goal: slowly but surely improving. But Nayeon’s already there. And she knows it, and she doesn’t have a problem flaunting it. She’s oozing with confidence in everything she does: from explaining her favorite movie to explaining what she does for a living. And Tzuyu tells herself, maybe if Tzuyu doesn’t want to punch her every time she opens , then she would even consider looking up to her. Tzuyu tells herself it’s the competitiveness churning inside her, that’s making her hate the girl even though Nayeon had tried to befriend Tzuyu everyday.

“You’ve been skipping movie nights. I’m feeling neglected, Tzu.” Momo said as she follows Tzuyu to the bathroom. The girl is about ready to change her clothes and take a long bath before sleeping.

Not ready to discuss it, Tzuyu says, “Can we talk about this later? I need some alone time to relax. I had a long day.” She points to the bath tub almost full.

But Momo just sat across the tub and settled herself. Before Nayeon came into their lives, the bathroom is their place. When one of them is taking a shower, the other would be on the floor and would start telling the other about her day.

Tzuyu is a freshman, and so most of her classes will be on the regular schedule: early mornings that will usually end at a decent time in the afternoon. Momo is on her third year, and has most of her classes in the afternoon. They would rarely see each other in the shared apartment, and on the rare chance that they do, they’d only exchange a few words towards each other. The first time this happened, it shook Tzuyu to her core.

Momo grew up as a city girl, fully liberated. And she came crashing in to Tzuyu’s reserved bubble without much restraint. It was a struggle at first, but Momo was incessant she and Tzuyu will get along, whatever it takes.

Momo is on the Cheering Squad in the university and reasoned out, “We’re both girls. I watch my teammates walk with nothing on shower stalls and locker rooms all the time, it’s nothing I haven’t seen.” In which Tzuyu said, “But I’m not on the ‘team.’ I don’t think I’m comfortable showering with someone watching.”

Momo laughs and said, “I wouldn’t be looking at you then! I’ll just be here to talk.”

Still unconvinced, trying to cover herself, “Why can’t we talk in the living room? After I’m done showering?”

“Because you will sleep after you shower. We’ve been living together for 2 months now, I know your routine.”

At that Tzuyu already thought of moving out.

Momo gets comfortable at the floor, “So? How is uni? Made friends yet?”

--

“A bath, perfect. No running water, you can talk.” Momo pushed her legs up and holds it together with both hands. She leans her back, but has her eyes on Tzuyu.

Tzuyu is now thankful she had bubbles on her bath. She’s silent, not knowing where to start, or what Momo expects of her.

“I asked Jeongyeon why she’s stealing my roomie on movie nights and she told me you crashed her place one time, and from then on, it became your thing.” It’s a statement… and Tzuyu suddenly finds herself loathing the question that’s about to come. “I don’t want to be a crazy possessive friend, and I’m glad you’re making friends, but… why can’t you have your thing” Momo rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed, “some other day that isn’t our movie night?”

How is it still our movie night if Nayeon, your girlfriend is there every single time, is what Tzuyu wanted to say, instead she says, “It just happened.” Sure Momo, blame it on Tzuyu, is what Tzuyu is thinking as she fiddles with her hands beneath the water.

“I want our movie nights back. Should we set another day then?”

Tzuyu supposed she isn’t surprised. Momo had never given up on her. From the moment she would force her way in the bathroom when Tzuyu is using – even when Tzuyu would lock the door, Momo would use her key to get in. Even when Momo would rant at her heart’s content, and Tzuyu would just be there listening, Momo would be satisfied as long as Tzuyu is there.

“Can Jeongyeon-unnie come?”

“No. It’s our movie night. The three of us can hangout some other time.” Momo frowns at the suggestion. She lets go of her legs, stretching it in front of her, using her right side to lean on the bath tub. Tzuyu’s eyes widen when Momo puts her right hand at the tub without warning, gracing her fingertip on Tzuyu’s leg. She softens her look as she slowly glides her hand to Tzuyu’s calf. “I miss you. We rarely talk. Are we drifting apart?”

When Tzuyu didn’t answer, mostly because her mind is on haywire, with Momo’s hand on her legs, Momo sighs.

“You went out last week to that museum. And I knew because I saw it in your story. It feels weird… that you didn’t even invite me—”

“You would’ve said No. It’s not your style.”

“I would’ve come anyways, if it meant spending time with you.”

Momo’s hand doesn’t stop. She just continues sliding it up Tzuyu’s leg. And now, Tzuyu’s suddenly feeling hot. She grits her teeth, breathing in between her teeth, trying to think. Momo sees this and puts her left arm at the side of the tub, putting her chin over her arm. “Or… me knowing where you are would’ve been enough. Why does it feel like we’re back to the start where we’re two strangers living under one roof?”

Momo creases her eyebrows and said, “Is it because of Nayeon? Are you jealous?”

At the mention of her name, or Momo’s hand, nearing her thighs, Tzuyu pulled her legs in front of her and enveloped it with her hands. “Why would I be jealous?”

There it is again, why.

Momo shrugged and pulled her hand back from the tub, pouting and feeling hurt Tzuyu pulled away from her again. She worked so hard to be this close to Tzuyu and she doesn’t know how Tzuyu is slipping away so easily. “Sana told me she’s jealous that I’m suddenly spending more time with Nayeon than her, and I thought that’s just Sana being clingy. And then I remember I haven’t spent time with you too…”

Momo wipes her hand with bubbles with a towel and looks at her dejectedly, “Nayeon’s my first girlfriend and I’m just trying to balance my time with her and my friends.”

Tzuyu opens the drain, the water starts whirring and Momo looks at her confused at the interruption. Tzuyu covers herself with her arms, hating how the path Momo traced is now left with a burning sensation. She avoids Momo’s look as she stares at the drain, waiting for the water to be gone, “