"What was I thinking" a young handsome man asked himself. It was midnight and all Siwon could think about, was how he wished he could take back what he said. " He will never want to speak or see me ever again". Siwon flopped back onto his bed and buried his face into his hands. All that was running through his mind was regret. 

Flashback

Six hours earlier 

'Ding, dong' the doorbell rang. "I'm coming" Siwon opened the door and saw his good friend standing there with a smile on his face. "Woah let me in its freezing out there" Yesung quickly walked through the door past the tall man. "I heard on the news its meant to rain later on" Siwon said as he closed the door. Both Yesung and Siwon didn't have any schedules. So they planned to catch up at Siwons apartment. "So how are you" Siwon asked Yesung. "Not to bad, just finished recording the final song for my album" Yesung took of his coat and scarf. Siwon couldn't help but admire Yesung. His fellow group member was a solo artist an actor and even an MC. What wasn't there to admire. However Siwon had been keeping a secret to himself for a very long time.

Not only did he admire Yesung for his talent but he harboured feelings towards him as well. The feeling that he knew he could never express or show as he knew it would ruin his friendship with Yesung. Siwon never thought of himself as gay as he is attracted to woman. Though for some reason he was attracted to the young blonde haired man standing before him. "Siwon, Siwon is anyone there" Siwon finally came back to earth. "Huh, oh sorry", "maybe you should lay off the coke, I think it's meddling with your brain" Yesung slightly chuckled. Yesung sat down on the couch running his hand through his blonde hair. Siwon sat down beside him and they started to chat about everyday things. Schedules, albums, Yesung's cafe and the up coming concert. 

Throughout the conversation they had some snacks and Siwon made some ice-coffees. Siwon was washing the mugs in the sink and Yesung came into the kitchen and sat at the bench table. "You would make a good husband one day" Yesung suddenly said. Siwon looked at him with a puzzled look on his face. "What, you would" Yesung then continued on "Im sure any woman would be happy to have a husband that does the dishes". Little did Yesung know that woman and the thought of marrying a woman was far from his mind. "I don't see that happening" Siwon suddenly regretted saying that out loud. "What you talking about of course it will, your kind and handsome" Yesung said. "Any woman would want to marry you". Siwon was starting to get a bit annoyed with the constant hearing of 'woman' and 'marriage'. "Look it probably won't happen" Siwon said in a higher tone of voice. "Don't doubt yourself, of course it will" Yesung replied "no it wont" Siwon replied sounding even more irritated. "Siwon, why are you getting so defensive" Yesung asked. "I'm sick of talking about this, OK" Yesung wasn't liking Siwons attitude. "What is your problem" Yesung asked in an annoyed tone of voice. "You really want to know Yesung, you really want to know" Siwon couldn't hold back anymore.

"I like you" it just came out without a second thought, Siwon just exposed his biggest secret to the one person who was never meant to know. Yesung was so blindsided with Siwons response. "Yesung, I I" Siwon started muttering his words. Siwon went to take a step towards the stunned Yesung. "No don't" Yesung put his hand up as a sign for Siwon to stop walking towards him. "Why, why would you say that" Yesung looked at Siwon with a glare that felt like it went straight through him. "Yesung forgive me" Siwon felt the emotion build up inside of him. "Just don't, I I can't be here" Yesung turned towards the door and left, leaving his coat and scarf on the couch. " Yesung wait" Siwon yelled out, he couldnt run after Yesung instead he stood at the door way feeling the cold breeze coming inside from the opened door. Siwon couldn't explain why he did what he did. With the close of his front door everything was silent.

End of flaskback

The next morning Yesung had to force himself to get up and get ready to head of to SM Entertainment. All the members of Super Junior had a meeting, to talk about their next upcoming album. Yesung knew that as one of the main vocalist within the group, he needed to be there. Not only that but Super Junior meant everything to him. Yesung did not want to let his other fellow members down. He was nervous about seeing Siwon. After what happened the night before, he wasn't sure how he was going to handle being around him. Yesung did admit to himself that he wasn't to proud on how he handled the situation. He was taken back by such surprise that his reaction to Siwons confession was not a sensitive one. 

Yesung grabbed his phone and bag and headed to the lift. His manager picked him up and drove Yesung to the agency. 

All the other members had gathered in the meeting room. "So where is Yesung and Siwon" Ryeowook mentioned. "I don't know, I thought they would be here by now" Dongahe replied. Suddenly Siwon walked in with a coffee in his hand. "Sorry I am late, got stuck in traffic" he told everyone. "That's OK, now we just have to wait for Yesung" Leetuek said, sitting down looking at his watch. "He could be stuck in traffic as well" Donghae said but in fact the real reason Yesung was running late was not due to traffic.

Yesung just arrived at SM and quickly ran inside, he knew Leetuek was not going to be very happy that he was so late. He gathered his breath by the time he reached the meeting room. Yesung walked inside and all eyes were on him except for a certain someone "your here, now we can get started" Leetuek said. Yesung apologised and sat down next to Ryeowook who was sitting next to Siwon. Yesung could see him from the corner of his eye. Siwon was just facing straight ahead and didn't even acknowledge him since the moment Yesung walked through the door. This did irritate Yesung a bit but he knew that their first meeting seeing each other after what happened was not going to be the same.

As the meeting went on the only members who were quiet and didnt give any input on what song will be chosen for the title track was Yesung and Siwon. It seemed like no one thought anything was out of the ordinary except for one member. Heechul had noticed that a change in the atmosphere was different. He could see that something was bothering Yesung and Siwon hadn't said a single word since Yesung entered the room. Heechul believed that these two friends could be in some type of conflict with one another. It was unusual to see Yesung and Siwon not acknowledge one another or even glance not once at eachother throughout the meeting. Heechul was deffiently going to bring this up with Yesung.

Heechul and Yesung were very close even before Super Junior debut back in 2005. Yesung always looked out for Heechul and made sure to keep him in line in a positive way. Heechul use to act up during their trainee and debut days and it was Yesung who kept him grounded. Due to their close friendship, every time Heechul would see Yesung upset or bothered by something. He would always be there for Yesung to have someone there to talk too and share his feelings with. The meeting had finished and Heechul walked up to Yesung. "Can I talk to you" Heechul asked him, Yesung looked up at his hyung. "Sure" Yesung replied, with that they both said their goodbyes to everyone and left the room.