Confession

Fear of Love

Heechul and Yesung headed down to the ground floor and sat at a table in the SM cafe. "Would you like anything" Heechul asked while looking at the menu. "I think I might just get an iced tea" Yesung went to the counter and ordered his drink while Heechul did the same. They both sat back down at their table. "So what did you want to talk to me about" Yesung asked his friend. Heechul took a breath, hoping his assumption about Yesung was correct. "I noticed during our meeting that something seemed to be on your mind" Heechul said. " Is there something on your mind that you may want to share with me" Heechul asked.

 

Yesung didn't really respond to Heechul's question as he wasn't sure what to say. However Yesung was not that surprised that Heechul would become suspicious with his moody behaviour this morning. Yesung looked down at his lap, his fingers intertwined due to nerves and fear of Heechul's response if he knew. "Yesung I know when you are not being yourself and right now you are deffiently not being yourself" Heechul said with a concerned tone in his voice. Yesung looked up and his heart beating so fast it felt like it was going to come out of his chest.

 

"I want to tell you, believe me I do" Yesung then sighed "but if I did I worry I'm going to do more bad than good". Heechul looked at Yesung and was confused, usually Yesung can tell him anything but what was so bad that he couldn't this time. "Yesung look, I can understand when it's hard to tell someone something that may affect yourself or even someone else" Heechul deffiently knew from his own experiences. "I do have to say this, keeping it all locked up inside will only torment you until one day you won't be able to cope with it anymore" Heechul explained. 

 

"Look you don't have to tell me what ever it is that is bothering you" Heechul stood up and walked over to Yesung. He put his hand on Yesung's shoulder "Just know this, I am here for you when you are ready to talk". Yesung smiled and felt greatful to have such an amazing person in his life. In this moment and time fear was not allowing him to share the conflict that was happening within himself.

 

Later on in evening Yesung got a text message from Donghae asking if he wanted to hang out. It may be just what Yesung needed to take his mind off of everything. He got ready and headed over to Dongahes apartment. Donghae opened the door and was happy to see Yesung. It had been ages since they hanged out together due to their busy schedules. "Hi Yesung, come in" Donghae led Yesung inside. As he walked in Yesung could hear music and he could hear some people talking. Then in the far corner in the lounge room  Yesung spotted a certain someone he did not expect to see.

 

Siwon saw Yesung they both locked eye contact but only briefly as Yesung ran to the front door. This time Siwon was going to run after Yesung, "Yesung, Siwon where are you going" Donghae was so confused. 

 

Yesung was trying to run as fast as he could knowing Siwon was following him. The last thing he wanted was to face Siwon, he hated how he was running away from the one person who meant a lot to him. He could feel Siwon catching up to him, Siwon was taller and faster at running campered to Yesung's stature. " Yesung STOP" Siwon was so close that he reached out his arm and managed to grab hold of Yesung's wrist. With a sudden stop Yesung's back suddenly slammed into Siwons chest. Yesung went completely frozen he could not move. He could feel two large hands, one on each of his shoulders which started to make him shake. 

 

Siwon could feel Yesung shake, he has never felt Yesung shake when he has touched him in the past wether it been a hug or a pat on the back. Siwon let go of the blonde man in front of him. Holding Yesung's shoulders did not seem to be making him feel very comfortable. Even though Siwon felt very hurt by it, he had to respect how Yesung was feeling. When Siwon let go of his shoulders Yesung felt some relief but also regret as he knew Siwon was hurting. 

 

"Yesung please turn around" Siwon wanted Yesung to face him, he was tired of not been able to look at Yesung. With some courage Yesung turned around to look at Siwon but his nerves were getting the best of him that he couldn't look at Siwon. "Please Yesung, look at me" Siwon asked "I can't handle your rejection of not wanting to be around me anymore" Siwon said. Yesung then looked up at Siwon and could see the sadness coming from his facial expression. It showed a mix of different emotions, sadness, regret, shame and anger. "Siwon, I am sorry how I reacted back at your place the other night" this was the first time Yesung had said anything to Siwon in a while. Siwon looked at Yesung and he could see how hard it was for Yesung to look back at him. Yesung was finding it difficult to keep this eye contact as he was having mixed feelings and emotions fighting with each other inside of him. However he needed to say what was on his mind while he had this chance.

 

"Please believe me when I say I'm sorry cause truly I am, I did not handle the situation in the best way but your confession shocked me". Yesung kept speaking " you have been one of my closest friends for many years and I considered you as family". Yesung couldn't keep his gaze on Siwon anymore and looked down at his feet. "Knowing you have feelings for me has confused me to the point it's making me angry, not with you but with myself". Siwon was surprised with what Yesung was telling him. Yesung then looked back up at Siwon again before saying "I may not be able to reciprocate those same feelings back". 

 

Suddenly rain started to fall and hit the ground. It was like a scene from a drama series, rain falling and the two main characters gazing into each others eyes as the rain falls onto their faces.

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Thank you!
Mills000
I will do my best to add more chapters as soon as I can.

Comments

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farrelandmerry
361 streak #1
Chapter 5: Just want you to know that I will be waiting, no pressure tho, take your time~ ❤️
farrelandmerry
361 streak #2
Chapter 5: oh em ji~ never knew this fic exists! I'm so late discovering this piece T^T

Please update if you have time, I'm sooooooo into the story

I love Siwon's sister here btw, she's so cool! >___<
cloudykuro #3
Chapter 3: So short... And poor siwonie..
I hope yesung would reconsider siwon's feeling