Irene quickly got dressed. She didn’t even bother which clothes and in what color she should have worn because all she had in mind right now was only the urgency to see Seulgi and the explanation she could only get from that woman. It was crazy to just imagine how she could become a different woman when she wrote that damn diary. If the writings wouldn’t similar, she would have thought there was another person who pranked her by writing inside her notebook. But no, it was her own writing which she hated to admit and now her mind was a jumble and it made her frustrated.

 

Irene finally wore a grey sweater with beige jeans. She put everything she needed to bring inside her purse. All she paid attention to were only her phone and wallet. She then grabbed the car keys and rushed to the basement. Her hands were still trembling when she tried to unlock the car’s door and she tried to stop it by clutching the wheel drive tightly.

 

The road was almost empty since it’s close to 11 pm by now. She unheeded the fact it’s close to midnight because all her thoughts were directed to what had happened to her around 4 – 5 months ago. She tried to answer it by herself but the more she tried to, the more her head ached. Her heart could feel that what she wrote was based on reality but her head still couldn’t accept it.

 

She got no one but Seulgi herself to be blamed. She hated the blonde woman that much by now. No, Irene never hated someone more than she hated Seulgi now. What had she done to wrong Seulgi that the woman had the heart to do this to her? What sins had she done to Seulgi that Seulgi changed her into someone she never thought she could ever be? Irene was always at the receiving end so how could she be that aggressive to Seulgi?

 

Irene pressed the gas pedal harder until the speed exceeded 80km/hour. The fact that the road was empty helped her to arrive at Seulgi’s place faster. She needed to be there faster so her mind would stop trying to answer the unanswered questions she had in mind. The notebook slash diary was lying on the empty seat beside her. That was the main problem of her aching head so she brought it along with her. 10 minutes driving and she already parked at the exact dot as shown from the GPS attached on the dashboard.

 

“Now what? It’s late already but I couldn’t wait longer.” Irene clenched her jaw. She took her phone and halted.

 

“Is she still awake?” Irene thought to herself. Her thumb was searching for Seulgi’s contact number on her phone. With an inhale, she pressed the dial button and waited.

 

“H-hello?” The other party answered.

 

“Are you at home?” Irene directly asked.

 

“Yes, I am.” Seulgi was clearing .

 

“Open up the door.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“I said open up the front door. I am in front of your house.” Irene repeated with a longer statement.

 

Seulgi’s soberness came back as fast as lightning. She didn’t mishear, did she? She even had ensured Irene whether what she was requesting was true. Seulgi quickly glanced at her mobile screen and she gasped when she saw it’s already 11.10 pm. What was she doing then visiting her at this hour? It must be important, Seulgi thought. Imagining Irene was standing in front of her house in this hour, Seulgi rushed to get up and briskly walked to the front door.

 

Seulgi the lights so she could see more properly. Her house was quiet and all her family members were already sleeping by now, well except her brother because she didn’t think he would even home by tonight. Seulgi went to the front door, unlocking the door. She didn’t think twice before opening it; all she worried about was Irene and her safety since surely it’s dangerous for a woman to wander around at this hour.

 

“Mam, what are you-“

 

*SLAP*

 

Seulgi’s face was turned to her right when she was suddenly welcomed by Irene’s hard slap. Irene’s right hand was still on the air and Seulgi still tried to comprehend what just happened. Her face’s direction hadn’t turned. Her cheek was painful but oddly, her heart felt the hurt even more. Suppressing her tears from coming out, Seulgi inhaled deeply.

 

“What have you done to me?!” Irene threw the diary at her direction that it hit her chest. Seulgi silently groaned in pain.

 

“Why did I write that.. that loathsome things in my diary?! Why it all has your name all over it?!” Irene shouted loudly while Seulgi couldn’t look back at her. She could only look down at the floor while letting herself being scolded by Irene.

 

“There’s no way I would write that in my normal state!? How could you do that to me?! What have I done to you that… that you avenged in me in the worst way possible? You.. you even make me hate myself!” Irene continued. Seulgi didn’t fight back, thinking that she deserved this.

 

“Seulgi-ah! Who is there?!” It was Seulgi’s mother calling for her daughter.

 

“It’s my friend, Mom! No need to be worried.” Seulgi replied.

 

“Okay! Bring her to your bedroom. It’s late already.” Her mother said again.

 

“Okay, Mom.”

 

“Can we talk inside?” Seulgi inhaled deeply, getting up.

 

“This way.” Irene didn’t answer. Seulgi closed the front door and led Irene to her bedroom, didn’t forget to pick up the diary beforehand.

 

Seulgi closed the door and let Irene sit on the bed. Irene’s expression screamed anger, exasperation, and disgust. Seulgi tried to compose herself but she knew it was so hard to do it now. Maybe it’s already time to reveal the truth and come clean? Besides, it’s so obvious Irene wouldn’t want to do anything with her anymore. It wouldn’t even be weird if she’s fired by Monday morning.

 

“May I read your diary?” Seulgi asked politely. Irene again didn’t answer. Seulgi ensured there’s sufficient gap between her and Irene before sitting beside her.

 

“Which part you have read so far?” Seulgi tried to ask again, hoping this time Irene would answer her. A simple nod would even better than nothing at all.

 

“I don’t know. I just randomly opened the page and whatever is shown, I read.” Irene said. Seulgi nodded her head.

 

“Okay.” Seulgi tried to have a quick read on the several pages inside Irene’s diary.

 

She was actually startled that Irene could write these things about her; like she was the best lover and most saint person in the world, well the different Irene who wrote it of course. It was also a lie if she said she wasn’t touched by the content of diaries. She held back her tears, clearing before beginning the explanation.

 

“It was the day where we went to Ilsan Park.” Seulgi started, Irene listened.

 

Flashback:

“Seulgi-ah, let’s go somewhere! You’re like a hobo lying around on the couch and literally do nothing for the day!” Irene tugged Seulgi’s shoulder. The latter had her head rested on the cushion.

 

“What is it, Hyun-ah? Today is a good day to laze around.” Seulgi yawned. Her hand was on the remote TV, trying to lower down the volume.

 

“The sky is bright! The birds even are out to chirp, Seul! How could we stay at home! We haven’t gone anywhere last week.” Irene slapped Seulgi’s thigh, complaining.

 

“But last week was raining.” Seulgi reasoned out.

 

“And today is sunny! What more reasons do you have!? I am bored, Seul.” Irene sulked. The latter sighed, knowing she would give up at the end.

 

“Fine. Go and get dressed.” Seulgi turned off the TV.

 

“Really?! We are going somewhere? Where will we go?” Irene’s voice changed into a happier tone.

 

“It’s a secret. Just go and get change. You will know when we have arrived later.” Seulgi persuaded. Irene nodded her head, feeling delighted. She got up and literally ran a little toward the bedroom to get prepared.

 

Seulgi ensured Irene was already inside her bedroom before she went to the kitchen. She first prepared the sandwiches, slicing the bread into two triangles and put cheese, sliced tomatoes, and chicken ham inside.

 

Next, she poured the orange juice into a 1 litter bottle and put it aside. Seulgi then tried to find skewers inside Irene’s kitchen drawer. Once she found it, she pushed the square mozzarella followed by tomatoes and ham. She repeated the actions until the variations were enough to occupy ¾ the skewer. She made 6 skewers, thinking that it should be enough. Last but not least, the bite – sized fruits contained of strawberries, grapes, and melon.

 

She took a peek and found Irene hadn’t come out from the bedroom. She quickly made her way to search for the medium-sized carpet. She rolled it and put it on the car’s trunk. She also put the food inside the picnic basket and located it beside the rolled carpet. Once she had done it all, she went back to the living room, pretending to still watch the TV.

 

“I am done! Let’s go!” Irene went out from her bedroom wearing the red summer dress, looking beautiful and elegant at the same time.

 

“You look beautiful.” A smile spread on Irene’s face hearing the compliment.

 

“Thank you! At least my effort earned me a compliment from you.” Irene chuckled.

 

“Do I need to get change also? I feel out of place now.” Seulgi asked. She only wore white oversized shirt with jeans.

 

“You look good already. No need to get change.”

 

“But-“

 

“Stop trying to look perfect, Seulgi-ah! Or are you doing it deliberately to gain attentions from strangers so you can-“

 

“Okay okay. I won’t get change.” Seulgi lifted both of her hands, gesturing that she had given up.

 

“Good. Now, let’s go!” Irene came forward, grabbing Seulgi’s hand and pulling her to the car.

 

“So where are we going, Seul?” Irene asked again after being inside the car for 15 minutes.

 

“Hmm? I told you not to ask, right. I promise you will love this place. It’s not fancy or anything but it provides us peaceful feelings we need in order to have a break from the busy city.” Seulgi turned her head to Irene and smile.

 

“I don’t need anything fancy. I will still be happy even if we’re stuck inside the bedroom for all day, for as long as I am with you.” Irene leaned sideways until her head could rest on Seulgi’s shoulder.

 

“Really? And you even complained when I said it’s better to stay at home before, saying that you’re bored and all.” Seulgi teased.

 

“Because the weather is sunny! Besides, don’t you miss having a date with me? I am your lover! How could you ignore me just like that? You didn’t even try to touch me when I was only an arm’s reach, ready, and willing to be-“

 

“Arasso arasso.” Seulgi interjected. Irene giggled, knowing Seulgi couldn’t debate her further.

 

“So, do you?”

 

“Do I, what?” Seulgi asked again to ensure. Hands were still gripping on the wheel drive.

 

“Do you miss having a date with me? Spending the days with me outside of the narrow apartment?”

 

“First, your apartment is not narrow. Yes, it only has one bedroom which is unfortunate because it makes me unable to run away if we have a fight.” It resulted a slap on Seulgi’s arm.

 

“And secondly, what is wrong with us being romantic inside the apartment? We can cuddle while watch your favourite movies and chattering about how stupid the main characters are or how lame the storyline is; accompanied with sodas and popcorns.” Seulgi said.

 

“You know I’d love to have that, Seulgi-ah but it doesn’t mean we have to repeat the same activities every single weekend.” Irene rebutted.

 

“We too sometimes watch inside the cinemas you know.” Seulgi muttered.

 

“And for your additional info, we don’t always watch my favourite movies! The last time I make a note, I never like horror movies as my favourite movies.” With that, Seulgi laughed.

 

“See?!” Irene said loudly and Seulgi wrinkled her face.

 

“But it gives you sneaky chances to hug me, scoot closer to me, hide your head in my crook, and even I’ll drape my arm around your shoulder just so you’d stay close to me.” Seulgi still laughed a bit.

 

“Yes! But it’s your fault whenever I cannot sleep at night after watching that scary movies!”

 

“Didn’t I always stay the night whenever we watched horror movies?” Seulgi raised one of her eyebrows, challenging Irene.

 

“Well, it’s not like you complain to have me sleeping on your broad shoulder though.” Irene pouted.

 

“Nope, I don’t complain. So, do we make peace with horror movies then?”

 

“I guess so?” Irene said unsure, giggling.

 

“Seulgi-ah, I am hungry.” Irene turned to another topic.

 

“Don’t worry, we will eat as soon as we have arrived there.” Irene nodded and said no more. About half an hour more, Seulgi made the car stopped.

 

“Uhm.. Where are we?” Irene felt the car stopped moving, slowly opened her eyes. Yes, she had a nap not long after they chatted and Seulgi too purposely played the slow music so she could sleep more soundly.

 

“We have arrived. Are you awake enough?” Seulgi put the gear into parking mode and pulled the hand brake upward.

 

“I think so. Wait, let me take a look at my face first.” Irene turned the rear mirror toward her direction. She ensured her hair was okay. She reapplied lipstick and powder so she wouldn’t look like a person who just got up from a nap.

 

“You didn’t wipe your drool?” Seulgi’s questioned made Irene’s eyes went wide.

 

“I drooled?”

 

“Here.” Seulgi pointed at Irene’s left chin.

 

“Here?” Irene asked to reconfirm.

 

“Here, let me wipe it from you.” Seulgi leaned in closer but her hands stayed below. Irene furrowed her eyebrows, feeling suspicious until she felt Seulgi’s lips landed on hers. Seulgi kissed Irene’s lips and when Irene was about to deepen the kiss, Seulgi withdrew her head.

 

“Ugh! Why?”

 

“Aren’t we here to date outside? Look, the clouds are grouping in the sky, making various funny forms. The birds are chirping, singing rock songs and –“

 

“Fine! Let’s go!” Irene interrupted. Seulgi laughed.

 

“And no bird can rock okay!” Irene added while Seulgi laughed even louder.

 

Seulgi told Irene to wait for her as the small woman made a turn and went to the car’s trunk. She then called her lover, asking her to slam down the trunk as she brought the basket and the carpet carefully. After closing down the trunk, Irene helped Seulgi to bring it together toward the moderately crowded park.

 

“When did you have time to prepare all of this, Seulgi-ah?” Irene asked as she was helping Seulgi to spread the carpet

 

“When you’re busy getting change and applying make-up.” Seulgi calmly responded. She exhaled deeply after she was done with laying down the carpet.

 

“Did I take that long?” Irene sat on the carpet first, resting her back on the tall trees behind her.

 

“Hmm depends. Long or not is subjective. You took like around one and half hour.” Seulgi sat beside Irene.

 

“Wow, I didn’t think it’d be that long though.”

 

“I don’t mind. I know you tried to look your best for me.” Seulgi smiled warmly and it made Irene wanting to kiss her and she did. She brought her face closer and pecked Seulgi’s lips.

 

“Thank you.” Irene said. Seulgi nodded.

 

“Let’s have lunch first. I didn’t have enough time to cook so I just prepared simple food. I hope you’re okay with that.” Seulgi shyly said. She opened the basket and collected the foods from the inside.

 

“Wow, there are plenty. Thank you, Seulgi-ah. You’re very considerate.”

 

“Don’t get cocky, Ms. Bae. I did it because I am hungry too.” Seulgi chortled. Irene rolled her eyes, knowing that Seulgi was only too shy to admit it.

 

“Feed me, Seul.”

 

“Wh-what?” Seulgi blushed.

 

“Feed me~ I want to be spoiled~~” Irene whined. Seulgi sighed and did as she was told.

 

Seulgi sliced the sandwich into bites-sized and forked it. She brought it into Irene’s mouth and when Irene still got the food inside , she would feed herself. When Irene said she had already bored with sandwiches, Seulgi switched to the skewers. She released the cheese, tomatoes, and bacon from the skewer and used her hand to feed Irene. Once Irene had her tummy filled, Seulgi made her drink the orange juice and lastly the fruits.

 

“Seulgi-ah, I am full and sleepy.” Irene rubbed her stomach.

 

“Have a nap then.” Seulgi tapped her thigh and Irene grinned. The older woman let Seulgi rested her back first on the tree, fixing her position before Irene slowly bent down and had her head lying on Seulgi’s lap.

 

“Do you want to sleep?” Seulgi looked down.

 

“Naah. I still want to chat with you.” Irene yawned as Seulgi was running her fingers through Irene’s strands of hair.

 

“If you keep doing that, I will surely fall asleep again, Seul.” Irene frowned.

 

“I don’t mind.” Seulgi smiled.

 

“But I do!” Irene protested.

 

“Alright alright. Do you see the grandma sitting on the vacant bench over there?” Seulgi started to distract Irene from falling asleep by initiating a conversation.

 

“Yes. I wonder why she is alone. Where are her children? Why don’t they accompany her?” Irene said her thought out loud.

 

“Maybe because she wanted to meet her secret lover. It’d be a disaster if her children know that their mother is seeing a younger man whose age is around her children? So it can be said as forbidden romance!” Seulgi giggled.

 

“Yah! There is no way that what you said is true! Is it possible that she doesn’t have children so she’s lonely? She comes here to reduce her loneliness because there are many people here, at least she’d feel accompanied.” Irene elaborated her different opinion.

 

“And that’s why she needs a younger woman to transfer her undeniable lusts! She may be old and single but doesn’t mean her needs for having fun in bed have-“

 

“Yah!” Seulgi rubbed her ear which was just being pulled down by Irene.

 

“What’s with you and your ert thoughts?!” Irene scoffed.

 

“It’s only an imagination! We are free to imagine anything inside our minds! That’s why God gave brains for people! To imagine~ and you just hinder me from imagining!” Seulgi complained. Her ear was red and hot but it’s not that painful at least.

 

“Yes! I just stopped you from imagining wildly! Why would you imagine an old woman when you have a beautiful woman with slender body as your lover?” Irene huffed and it made Seulgi smiled.

 

“Why would I do that? Although I think wrinkles are y in some areas and-“

 

“Yah! Why are you so abusive today!?” Seulgi rubbed her nose now. Irene pinched it not too softly just now.

 

“LET’S STOP TALKING ABOUT THE OLD WOMAN!” Irene said too loudly that it gained attentions from other pedestrians around.

 

“Arasso arasso.” Seulgi covered Irene’s mouth.

 

“Let’s move into that woman who is walking her dog. Why do you think she is alone?” Seulgi pointed her index finger to the west, at the woman who looked in her 30’s walking with her dog in front of her. The dog was Golden Retriever and was lashed.

 

“I think her lover is abroad so he couldn’t accompany her, like perhaps her lover is a pilot or mercenary, or doctor who has to work during weekend.” Irene said.

 

“As for me, I think she deliberately walks her dog every weekend afternoon, hoping she could find a lover who has the same fondness in dog like her.” Seulgi told Irene her thought.

 

“Hmm could be. But seeing her, I don’t think she’s still available, Seul.” Irene emphasized the woman’s beauty.

 

“She could be single although she is beautiful because she is a choosey person when it comes to say yes from whomever who asks her to be his lover. She is too busy working in her everyday life, wishing she could find an understanding lover to be by her side. She also used to be engaged but she didn’t believe in love until one day-“

 

“Yah! Whom are you talking about, huh?!” Irene pinched Seulgi’s stomach.

 

“Ouch! Of course I was talking about her!”

 

“And how would you know that she used to be engaged?!”

 

“I was talking about her.” Seulgi playfully pointed her finger down, exactly at Irene’s face.

 

“Yah you!” Irene pulled down Seulgi’s hand and bit it. Seulgi laughed, feeling succeeded in tricking her lover.

 

“Say, do you like this place?” Seulgi’s smile turned calm.

 

“I love it, Seulgi-ah. Thank you for bringing me here.” Irene looked up and found Seulgi was staring at her.

 

“I want us to be closer to the nature. Not everything has to be fancy in order to be reminded. And I want you remember this place whenever you remember about us.” Seulgi’s smile was shaky and it made Irene furrowed her eyebrows.

 

“You’re talking as if I would ever forget about us.” Irene sat up and turned to Seulgi.

 

“It’s nothing. We never can predict the future, right?” Seulgi’s face turned to her right, palming Irene’s face.

 

“I can. I predict we will have a future together.” Irene frowned, disagreed with Seulgi’s statement.

 

“If we are fated, then we will always be together.” Seulgi nodded, intending to end the topic.

 

“I will make sure of that. You too, don’t ever let me go, okay?” Irene offered her pinkie finger.

 

“Of course.” Seulgi ignored the finger and leaned forward, kissing Irene’s forehead instead.

 

“We went home when the sky was already dark.” Seulgi ended her story. Irene still didn’t say anything so Seulgi assumed she could continue.

 

~Flashback ended~

 

It was hard for Seulgi not to tear up while re-enacting the events. She didn’t want to be pitied by Irene; it’s the last action she wished for from Irene. There were times where Seulgi would halt and look up just so her tears wouldn’t drop and wet the paper. Irene never once reacted or commented when she tried to stop her tears.

 

‘So, this is indeed the real side of her. Heartless and full of hatred toward me.’ Seulgi gulped, startling at her own comments.

 

“This was when we visited Anmok Beach to see the sunsets.” Seulgi continued to explain when she stopped at one particular page. She thought it’s important to tell Irene and so she started another story.

 

Flashback:

 

“Seulgi-ah it’s so hot today!” Irene fanned herself, sweats covering her body.

 

“Why don’t you just stay in the bedroom? You can always turn on the Air Conditioner there.” Seulgi went to the fridge, opening it and grabbing a bottle of cold water.

 

“Let’s go somewhere far today!” Irene approached Seulgi.

 

“Huh? Where? And why should it be far?” Seulgi uncapped the bottle and drank the water. Halfway, she stopped gulping and gave it to Irene.

 

“So we can stay cool inside the car.” Irene said once she had emptied the bottle.

 

“That’s a weird idea. We can watch the movie in the cinema and we’ll stay cool there. We can eat inside a restaurant and we will feel cool there also.” Seulgi remarked.

 

“Oh I know! Let’s go to the beach!” Irene ignored Seulgi’s statement. Her love for Seulgi was too much that she wanted to spend every second of her weekend being with Seulgi in scenic places so she could proudly write it on her diary later.

 

“Now that’s random. The beach is obviously far from the main city, Hyun-ah. It’d take us hours of driving before we could arrive there.” Seulgi whined.

 

“It’s only 1 pm, Seulgi-ah and we had lunch already so if we depart now, we can see the sunsets!” Irene persuaded her lover.

 

“But I am tired. I want to just spend my day sleeping.” Seulgi made another reason.

 

“I can be the driver.” Irene offered.

 

“I don’t feel save if you’re the one to drive. It’s far!”

 

“But, Seulgi-ah~~ I want to view the sunsets with you.” Irene leaned to Seulgi’s shoulder, hugging her sideways.

 

“We can always do it next week or even next month.”

 

“This month is the hottest month of the year, Seul~ What if next month is breezy? There’s no way we can go to beach. It’d be too windy and cold.” Irene whined.

 

“Sighed. I can’t ever try to negotiate with you, can I?” Irene grinned, shaking her head.

 

“Alright. But we should really leave now if we want to catch the sunset.” Irene nodded eagerly.

 

“I will get prepared in a blink!” Irene promised. Seulgi let out another sigh.

 

“I will pack up. Who knows I’d be too tired to drive back later.” Seulgi followed Irene to the bedroom.

 

Seulgi brought two pairs of pyjamas, one for her and another for Irene. She too packed some clothes for tomorrow. Aside from that, she asked Irene suggestions whether she also needed to bring Irene’s make-up bags, aside from the basic amenities. They brought a small luggage and got prepared for the long journey.

 

“Tell me if you are tired, okay? So we can exchange and you can rest.” Irene announced when Seulgi had driven for an hour.

 

“Don’t worry about me. I am used for long driving.” Seulgi replied.

 

“I just need lively music to accompany me. I hope you don’t mind.” Seulgi changed the music so she could move along, well her head at least. She nodded her head, following the beat.

 

“Of course I don’t. You can even sing if you want.” Irene followed Seulgi and started to move her body.

 

“Really? You cannot take that back later, okay? Because I do love singing!” Seulgi raised the volume and started to sing along. She could hit the high pitch perfectly, amazed the latter.

 

“Wow! You surely can sing!” Irene clapped her hands.

 

“I told you I love singing!” Seulgi was being cocky.

 

“Why don’t you sing me a lullaby to sleep often then?”

 

“When I have sleepover at your place, you would sleep as soon as your head on my shoulder while when I sing you a lullaby before you sleep through the phone, you’d fall asleep so soon that you never really heard me singing.” Seulgi sighed.

 

“I am so sorry. I will try to appreciate your singing better in the future.” Irene giggled shyly.

 

3 more hours and they finally arrived at the destination. Seulgi didn’t want to switch position with Irene while Irene tried her best to stay awake, despite the windy breeze she felt when she opened up her window. They decided to go to the beach directly before checking in within the nearby hotel.

 

“Omo! We are finally here!” Irene climbed down the car and ran to the beach, nearing the waving blue water.

 

“Be careful, Hyun-ah!” Seulgi shouted.

 

“Let’s find the best spot to view the sunsets, Seulgi-ah!” Irene ran back to Seulgi and told her breathlessly. The latter nodded her head and smiled.

 

Seulgi and Irene sat side by side while staring at the sun which slowly went down and the sky turned colour from yellowish to orange mixed with dark blue. It was beautiful and the fact that there were barely people around made it more romantic. Irene rested her head on Seulgi’s shoulder, admiring the view before her.

 

“Say, Seulgi-ah. Have you ever wished you have a relationship with opposite gender rather than being with me?” Irene asked randomly.

 

“Of course. Not even in my wildest dream, that one day I’d be with a woman instead of a man.” Seulgi chuckled.

 

“Do you regret it?”

 

“I am staying with you here, aren’t I? Wouldn’t it be enough to answer your question?” Seulgi turned her head to Irene.

 

“Yes, you are. Will you always be here for a long time?”

 

“I don’t have plans to go anywhere, Joohyun-ah. I have said to you before that I wouldn’t go anywhere for as long as you still want me to be with you, haven’t I?” Irene nodded, smiling contently with the reply.

 

“How about you?” Seulgi asked in return.

 

“I am truly deeply crazily in love with you, Seulgi-ah. Why would I want to be anywhere where you don’t exist? Wherever you go, I will follow.” Irene confidently answered and Seulgi could only smile a little.

 

“Can you see a future with me, Seul? Have you ever thought that being with me is only a temporary phase?” Irene asked another question.

 

“I am still young but I know my soulmate when I see one. And I am seeing her right now.” Seulgi maintained her gaze at Irene, ensuring the latter noticed how her feelings conveyed through her warm stare.

 

“Thank you, Seulgi-ah. I love you so so much. I don’t ever want to be separated from you.” Irene teared up a bit.

 

The sun slowly disappeared, buried beneath the vast sea when Irene leaned in, tilting her head and captured Seulgi’s lips. They kissed slowly as the sky was getting darker and the wind breezed softly passing them. Seulgi’s hand went to Irene’s waist, holding her closely as she deepened the kiss.

 

“Oh the sun is gone already.” Irene pouted when she realized the light was dimmed by now.

 

“Blame yourself for kissing me.” Seulgi jutted out her tongue.

 

“I still want to stay here. Can we?” Irene asked Seulgi.

 

“Of course.” Seulgi confirmed. She draped the thick sweater around Irene’s shoulder so the older woman wouldn’t feel cold.

 

“Have you ever dreamed of a marriage like the one in movies? Where the bride would wear a beautiful white gown while the groom will wear black tuxedo. The wedding will be held in a park surrounded with colourful flowers. There were many people attended to congratulate you and single women and men would gather when you’re about to throw the flower.” Irene said.

 

“I am still too young to thin of marriage, Hyun-ah.” Seulgi chuckled.

 

“I come from modern families, Seulgi-ah. In fact, my father was also born and raised in America while my mother is originally from Korean but her thoughts are modern also.” Irene continued her story.

 

“They would accept me switching preference. But how about your parents, Seulgi-ah? Will they accept me?” The topic turned serious and Seulgi changed her sitting position.

 

“I have plenty of siblings; normal siblings who prefer opposite gender so I think they would be okay if one of their children becomes gay and likes same gender.” Seulgi smiled. Hand searched for Irene’s hand and once she found it, she intertwined Irene’s hand with hers.

 

“REALLY? Does it mean you’d want to marry me one day, Seulgi-ah?” Irene’s voice was filled with longings, wishes, and dreams and how could Seulgi crush it? Besides, her heart had also learnt to accept Irene as her lover.

 

“One day if you didn’t have a change of heart, Joohyun-ah.” Seulgi answered softly.

 

“I absolutely won’t change my mind! And my heart too will never turn away from you.” Irene took Seulgi’s hand to her chest, letting the woman feel her heartbeat.

 

“Can you feel it? It beats for you.” Irene said.

 

“It is and I hope your heartbeat rhythm will never change too. Because if it is-“

 

“It won’t change! No more what ifs. Period!” Seulgi smiled with the statement.

 

“It’s getting windy here. Let’s go and find something to eat.” Seulgi stood up, bringing down one hand to be grabbed by Irene.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

~Flashback Ended~

 

“And that’s what happened.” Seulgi ended the story.

 

“But why? Why did I end up in love with you?! I know who I am, Seulgi and I know that I was never being in love like how I was inside that diary! What happened to me?! Irene took back her diary and practically yelled on Seulgi’s face.

 

“Well.. it’s true that you’re inside the diary is not the real you.” Seulgi paused.

 

“I.. I made a mistake.” Seulgi sighed, feeling like her heart was being stricken by a ton of bricks. It was very hard to explain it to Irene. The complexity was too much and if Irene could slap her when she was only reading her diary’s content; what else would happen to her if she told the truth to Irene?

 

“I know you did! It’s obvious! But what kind of mistake did you do that could change me into someone I didn’t know of!?” Irene grew impatient.

 

“You.. you were bewitched.” Seulgi lowly said, exhaling deeply.

 

“I was what?” Irene couldn’t hear clearly.

 

“You were bewitched, Mam. By me.” Seulgi took a deep breath and looked up to say it more loudly.

 

“WHAT?! Bewitched? Like.. like put under spell or something?” Irene’s eyebrows made a steep angle, a bad sign for Seulgi and also a signal that she’s being furious.

 

“Yes.” Seulgi muttered quietly.

 

*SLAP*

 

Another hit landed on her right cheek, making it reddened that it already was. Seulgi stayed still, thinking that the slap was already expected and that it was nothing compared to the pain she had caused to Irene; the memories which should have never been existed that were written inside Irene’s diary.

 

“HOW COULD YOU!? Are you even a human, Kang Seulgi?! What kind of human has the heart to do this far to another person!?” Irene glared at Seulgi. Her eyes were literally throwing daggers at Seulgi.

 

“It just happened. I mean.. I didn’t mean to do it but it happened and the moment I realized, I have fallen too deep that I couldn’t get out even if I wanted to and suddenly it’s not a mistake anymore.” Seulgi’s explanation didn’t dissipate Irene’s anger even a bit.

 

“But that spells had been lifted from you. That’s why you are throwing tantrum and able to be angry at me.” Seulgi’s smile was shaky but she still tried not to show her desperate and frustrated side. She was wrong and being thrown with slaps was still very kind of Irene.

 

“And if one day you can feel the same feelings for me, it’s not because I tried to bewitch you again. It’s your real feelings.” Seulgi said.

 

“For as long as I live and you didn’t put me under spell, that will never gonna occur! Me falling in love with you will never happen! I really hate you!” Irene grabbed her jacket and rushed out, leaving the crying Seulgi alone.

 

“It’s never wrong to hope, right?” Seulgi smiled to no one. Her hand reached out and touched her cheek which had been slapped by Irene. She knew, sleeping would be impossible tonight so she would just spend it crying until her eyes were too tired and there were no more tears left to shed. That way, she wouldn’t ever cry again for Irene… right?

---

 

Irene came to work as usual. Honestly, the event took place between her and Seulgi made her unable to sleep soundly like she used to. Her mind was restless but she tried her best not to think of anything related to Seulgi and the other her who was so stupidly deeply in love with Seulgi. What could be loved about Seulgi anyway? The fact that she was selfless, fragile, submissive and too kind Seulgi who couldn’t even defend herself when being slapped by her two nights ago.

 

Irene stifled a yawn. She knew it’d be hard for her to stay productive for the rest of the day. She even arrived at 7.45 am this morning, almost late when usually she’s a very punctual and disciplined person. She didn’t bother to spare a glance to see whether Seulgi attended work or not. For all she knew, if Seulgi decided not to present, she had to let Irene know beforehand.

 

“Joohyun, are you busy?” Irene was massaging her head when her best friend, Wendy entered her office room.

 

“Nope. Come in.” Irene beckoned. Wendy closed the door behind her carefully and it made Irene wonder, what important things that she needed to inform Irene until the others must not hear it.

 

“This morning Seulgi came to my office and submit her resignation letter.” Wendy unfolded the paper she had in her hand and placed it on Irene’s table.

 

“So? It’s not like it’s the first time it happened, right? Most people cannot stay working under my supervision.” Irene said nonchalantly.

 

“Listen carefully. I don’t know and don’t give a damn what personal issues you have with her but I like this kid. Most of employees like her because she is a friendly person. She is polite and always greets other employees, unlike most of the people who had given up being your team member.” Wendy sat on Irene’s table and scolded her best friend.

 

“You can always find a new one; a new and more competent person to replace her position.” Irene folded her hands on her chest, challenging Wendy.

 

“I would if the reason why she wanted to resign is not a personal one. But, come on! I know you, Hyun. This person.. Seulgi makes no major mistake so far and she too is a patient person. Why else she would resign if not because of the personal matters between you and her?” Wendy scoffed.

 

“Whatever the reason is, the fact is she has submitted resignation letter and you have no other option but to process it.” Irene stated the obvious.

 

“I can stop processing it if you reject her resignation letter or at least try to hold her back from resigning.” Wendy said desperately.

 

“Why would I do that? I’ve been left by my members for so many times that I have become immune of it.” Irene shrugged.

 

“But you are wrong if you think I would let her go just like that. Directors always blame me when your division’s performance is downgraded because the lack of personnel. We may be close outside of work but come on, your work ethic is not that admirable to begin with.” Wendy had her right hand on her waist while her left one was massaging her forehead, feeling stressed from the sudden resignation letter submission from Seulgi.

 

“What do you mean?” Irene could only pay attention at the first statement.

 

“I have asked Seulgi to stay longer because I need around 2 – 4 weeks to recruit new personnel to replace her and for her to handover her job to the new recruited. So if you think that she would be gone by tomorrow, you’re totally wrong.” Wendy smirked, raising one of her eyebrows.

 

“And she said yes?” Irene frowned.

 

“She rejected the idea at first but after some begging, she finally agreed.” Wendy answered.

 

“Besides, it’d give you more time to reconsider whether it’s better for you two to be parted or to reconcile. She is a good person, Hyun. I have known you for so long and I still remember your exes. No one was as good as her I think.” With that Wendy opened the door and left.

 

“What does she know about my love life anyway?” Irene grumbled, folded the resignation letter without bothering to read it. She pulled the drawer and kept the letter inside it.

---

 

“Hello?” Seulgi picked up the phone on her table.

 

“Can you come to my office?” Wendy asked.

 

“Of course, Mam. I will be there right away.” Seulgi politely answered. She hung up the phone and went to Wendy’s office room. She didn’t forget to know first before entering.

 

“Have a sit, Seulgi-ah.” Seulgi nodded and sat in front of Wendy.

 

“Are you really sure you want to resign? Isn’t this your first time working in company?” Seulgi nodded her head as a confirmation.

 

“This company is well established and quite well-known. As the HRD I also know that we pay the employees abundantly even to the staff level which includes you. So, why do you insist to get out from this company? Is this because of Irene?” Seulgi fidgeted her fingers and Wendy noticed it. Being a professional Human Resources member enabled her to read the hidden meaning behind people’s gestures and expression.

 

“As I have told you this morning that I want to try new industries, Mam. I want to learn new things outside of this company.” Seulgi again repeated the same reason she told Wendy this morning.

 

“Sorry. I didn’t have much time this morning to ask further because I have to dash to a meeting but I have plenty of time now.” Wendy started.

 

“Consider me your friend, not a professional employee now and tell me the real reason behind your sudden resignation.” Wendy persuaded. Seulgi took her time, considering whether she should tell Wendy the truth or not.

 

“Well let’s say Ms. Irene and I aren’t compatible with each other and since she is my superior, I think it should be me who must give up.” Seulgi carefully chose her words before elaborating it to Wendy.

 

“Do you have any idea that so far, you’re the longest one working under Irene and that’s why I really thought the situation would be different this time; that Irene’s member named Seulgi could work here under her for a long long time.” Wendy sighed.

 

“I am sorry, Mam.” Seulgi looked down, feeling guilty.

 

“No, it’s not your fault at all.” Wendy sincerely smiled.

 

“I didn’t mean to meddle in your personal business with Irene but you two used to look so happy working with each other. Heck, Irene hadn’t even cared to her previous members but she told you to even work inside her office just so you wouldn’t get fired at that time.” Wendy bluntly blurted out.

 

“Maybe that’s the mistake she had made. She thought I could be more… more competent but her expectations were too high and I couldn’t meet her expectation, Mam.” Seulgi again tried to answer the question meticulously yet carefully.

 

“I often saw you coming to work together, going home together and you even had lunch together too. What had happened to you two?” Wendy didn’t let go the topic easily and it made Seulgi grew worried.

 

“Things happened and we’re not like that anymore, Mam. I even start working back in my former desk now.” Seulgi smiled a little.

 

“Yeah whatever it was that happened surely made an impact to the company directly. Let me tell you something.” Wendy inhaled, thinking.

 

“Actually, your performance is not bad at all. It’s only slightly above average but it’s still good and most of the employees here like you because you are friendly to them and polite too. It’s too bad that this company has to lose a potential employee like you.” Seulgi stayed quiet and Wendy assumed she could continue her speech.

 

“If the main reason for your resignation could still be rectified, I would do that. Like maybe because your salary is not enough? We can raise it by 10%. Or maybe if you’re stressed under Irene, I can also find you another position; under Steve or even join my team and work under Sunny.” Wendy halted.

 

“So how about it? Can you reconsider my offer? I will still assume you resign being Irene’s subordinate but you can join other division.” Wendy asked. Seulgi took some seconds before replying.

 

“Thank you for the offering but I stand still with my decision, Mam. And I shall wait for my replacement to join so I could handover my job to her/him before I officially leave this company.” Seulgi smiled politely.

 

“Oh, God Irene! What have you done to this saint person that she too finally gives up?!” Wendy muttered under her breath.

 

“If that’s all, may I go back to my desk?” Seulgi ignored the remark.

 

“Oh yes you may. Thank you for your time, Seulgi.” Wendy returned to her professional mode and smiled genuinely. Seulgi stood up and bowed before she walked out from Wendy’s office room.

 

“Omo, the lovebirds truly gives me headache. Ugh! I really hate you this time.” Wendy complained as she massaged her neck; feeling stressed already knowing she had to assign Sunny to hold open recruitment through web, newspapers, and all.

---

 

Ever since that night happened, Irene pretended that she didn’t have anything to do with Seulgi. She knew Seulgi was still working under her and of course she knew too she had submitted her resignation letter to Wendy and heck she even held that letter by now but still, she never tried to initiate another interaction with Seulgi. She wanted to avoid her for as much as possible. She hated her and she had every single right to hate her because of what she had done to her life.

 

Irene slightly felt relieved because Seulgi too didn’t try to do anything funny again toward her. Instead of coming to her office, Irene would choose try contacting Seulgi trough the ip phone; instructing her what to do and what documents she needed from Seulgi. The smaller woman respected her privacy and helped her by not ever appearing in front of Irene’s face again.

 

Meanwhile, Irene still hated the fact that she wrote about sweet cheesy bubbly things about Seulgi inside her diary. She couldn’t accept it because after the revelation, the reality had spoken that actually Seulgi was an evil person with bad intentions. If she’s not evil, why the hell would she put Irene under spell and made her unable to do anything with clear mind? Because all she could see and she wanted was no one but Seulgi at that time.

 

Thus, after 3 days passed and she still couldn’t remove Seulgi and what things she had done to her; she decided that she must rewrite her diaries. If another stupid and bewitched version of her used to praise and declare how much she loved Seulgi, this time she would made a different version. She would write how much she despised Seulgi.

 

“Today is tiring. Ugh! Why is finance so stubborn?! How can you expect the company can keep using the subcontractors’ services with the delayed payment?! Stupid!” Irene protested to no one. She opened up her fridge and gulped the orange juice directly from the bottle.

 

“Now being angry makes me super hungry.” Irene mumbled. She googled the restaurants available for delivery and decided to just eat pizza for tonight.

 

“Right. I should get change and wait for my food to be delivered.” Irene rushed to the bathroom, showered and waited in front of the TV.

 

“Nothing is good.” The woman huffed. Not long after, her food had arrived. She picked it up, paid the delivery boy and brought the pizza box in.

 

Irene ate two slices of pizza as she was watching the TV. The shows didn’t interest her that she turned it off as soon as she had finished eating. She tidied up the coffee table and washed the dishes before going into her office room inside her apartment. She sat on her chair facing the desk, opening up her drawer and took the diary to place it on the table. She opened the still empty pages and started writing.

 

 

Thursday, 14 May 2020

 

Up until now I still cannot believe there’s still a human who believes in superstition exists, well until I met Seulgi. That’s first and secondly, I too still unable to believe that Seulgi’s belief in superstition will harm me in the worst way possible!

 

I have slapped her not only once but twice! One for making me writing that absurd ridiculous disgusting statements inside my own diary and secondly for bewitching me! I know I am not the holiest human in this world but at least I never bring harms to other people, and that’s including those stupid people who either got fired or resigned from the company!

 

How could I be bewitched for months (calculated since the first page I wrote in the diary)?! Did it mean I wasn’t close enough with God that it’s easy to put me under spell? But still! It didn’t and couldn’t justify what she did to me!

 

I hate her! These hatred feelings were never this big before and I really have to transfer all of my hatreds for a woman named Kang Seulgi! Since you have made my life miserable, it’s only fair if I make yours miserable too! But no.. I don’t want to get involved with a weird scary evil woman like you. Who knows you’d put me under spell again and this time, I wouldn’t know what the impact would be.

 

One thing that makes me contented a bit is the fact that you finally know your place and what mistakes you have done to me, that you submitted your resignation letter to Wendy. And ugh! Why Wendy must complain about your plan to get kicked from the company when we all know that it’s the best decision you have made so far and maybe it’s the only good think you have ever done to me ever since you joined my division.

 

I really hope you wouldn’t change your mind because if you did, I myself would have you fired immediately! Hah!

 

Feeling her anger and exasperated feelings have been conveyed to her diary, she fell asleep with a small smile on her face.

---

 

Friday, 15th May 2020

 

Today would be the last day to work before the weekend! And it’s been 5 consecutive days I haven’t talked to her directly! Now what is better than that?! No Seulgi for 5 days going to 7 days in a row and I couldn’t be happier!

 

But at least she still did her job well; submitting the reports before the deadline, creating the subcontractors contract before the actual services began, and providing me data as required. Not bad, Seulgi. Not bad! But too bad you are a bad woman so you must be removed from the company immediately!

 

Wendy said starting Monday, the recruitment process will begin and by Monday there are already 10 candidates that I have to assess through interview. Huff! Too much of a hassle. Sometimes I get tired of hiring people because it means I have to teach her / him again from the beginning. It’s like broken recordings that keep playing the same playlist over and over again. Have more patience, Joohyun! Anything for as long as I don’t have to see Seulgi’s face anymore at work.

 

Oh and I will remind Wendy to tell Seulgi to prepare the materials for handover starting next week. Don’t ever think you can get away just like that, Kang Seulgi! You have to ensure the new recruited won’t have issues joining the company. Perhaps I better look for a man rather than a woman this time. At least, I won’t have to care if he ends up being gay again, unlike the gay Kang Seulgi that is very harmful for my well-being. Right, I will tell Jessi to just find men candidates then! Good idea, Hyun.

---

 

Tuesday, 19th May 2020

 

I was very emotional today! Well, since yesterday honestly. So far, I have interviewed around 15 candidates and so far none could meet my expectations! Some didn’t have broad understandings about the general job descriptions related to procurement. Some have out of date processor that I have to repeat the questions before they could answer! And when they did, the answers were not quite right. Sighed, what would my team become if one of them becomes my subordinate?

 

I am 100% sure that Seulgi too was stupid when she first joined the company, moreover with the fact that she’s merely a fresh graduated and with zero experience! I really regret that I wasn’t there to interview her. If I were, I wouldn’t have ended up being bewitched because we wouldn’t know each other! Ugh!

 

Hence, I should admit that lately, her work is not bad at all. It’s like she already knows the way I usually work. I will have reports contained every detail I needed so I wouldn’t have to ask her again about it. The template too is quite futuristic and according to my taste. Damn, why am I even praising her right now?! Focus, Bae Irene! This is the moment I have to write my hatred toward her, not vice versa!

 

Anyway, I met her today because she needed my approval on the contract urgently and the subcontractor denied my e-sign so I have to sign the hard copy. Why? Why must I see your face again?! I tried my best not to be affected by your existence no matter how much I hated it. You seemed to know because you didn’t even try to look up and stare at me. Good then, I didn’t have to stare back at you because it would only hurt my eyes.

 

Hopefully tomorrow you will go to the site or I will have full meeting outside of work so we don’t have to bump into each other. Not seeing you is the best gift I have ever received from God so far and I hope it stays that way. I cannot wait to say goodbye officially to you when you finally walk out from the company bringing all of your things out from the building and surely out from my life too.

---

 

Irene excused herself early today. She informed Wendy that she got stomach ache because she was on her period today and different from the usual months, today the pain was kind of unbearable that it made it hard for her to concentrate at work. Wendy agreed almost immediately, didn’t forget to tell her best friend to have a proper rest and that it’d be okay if she still couldn’t attend work by tomorrow. However, the woman was persistent, saying that she would go to work as usual the day after.

 

Wendy informed Seulgi about the absence of Irene due to the pain she got during her period. Seulgi didn’t say anything in return and only nodded her head as a sign that she understood. Wendy left Seulgi after that, giving up fixing the good relationship between Seulgi and Irene.

 

Seulgi knew Irene had a deadline to make prepare presentation for monthly meeting with the company managements by tomorrow but knowing her condition from Wendy, the younger woman just knew there’s no say Irene would be able to do it and even complete it before tomorrow.

 

“I know it’s not my business but why I feel concerns about her? After all the things she had said and done to me.” Seulgi sighed. Her mind was in a mess; divided between wanting to help Irene or just to ignore her.

 

“This would be the last time.” Seulgi reasoned out. Besides, she would be gone soon, two weeks after new personnel to replace her joined.

 

Seulgi rechecked the remaining outstanding she had for the day and once she had reassured that she had none left, she started collecting data she needed for the presentation material. She remembered Irene once sent her the presentation when she was still her lover just to arrogantly show it off to Seulgi. So filtered her emails and tried to find the email sent by Irene. Once she had found it, she started to arrange the data into the presentation material.

 

“Seulgi-ah, are you staying late?” Seulgi turned her head and found Joy asking her.

 

“Oh? Yes, I think I am. Why?”

 

“Most of employees have gone home by now. And we are the remaining ones. Can’t you just continue it tomorrow?” Sunny pulled the chair and sat beside Seulgi.

 

“I will just continue it at home. Can you wait a bit? I will save it into my hardisk first.” The taller woman nodded her head. Seulgi quickly copied the file and pasted it onto her hardisk, including the data she might need later.

 

“Done! Let’s go! I am sorry to keep you waiting though.” Seulgi put her laptop into sleeping mode.

 

“No worries. Let’s go home. It’s late already.” Joy said and it made Seulgi curious what time it was now. She gasped when she knew it’s already 8 pm.

 

“Drive safely and if you can; just rest and continue it tomorrow okay?” They separated in the lobby because Joy was fetched by her younger brother while Seulgi had to bring her own car.

 

Seulgi continued the work at home, making her stay awake even after midnight. It was the first time for her to prepare the presentation and it was so difficult; arranging the graphs so it would look comprehensive as well as the short but informative explanations about why the graphs were like that. Another hour passed and she had finally finished when the clock sharply at 2 am. She sent the email and ensured there’s no unsent email inside her outbox before she went to sleep.

---

 

“Omo omo omo what time it is?!” Irene jolted awake when suddenly realized she had an important meeting today and the materials hadn’t been made.

 

“! What am I gonna do?! I only have like 2 hours to do it!” Irene grew panic. She casted the blanket away and stood up, practically running to her office room to start working on her presentation no matter how chaos it would be later.

 

“Come on come on come on!” Irene bit on her fingernail impatiently. She waited until her laptop had booted up and told her to sign in into her account.

 

“Where is it? Where is it? Kang Seulgi.” Irene searched for Seulgi’s name, knowing the reports usually submitted by her would be used as the sources of the presentation material.

 

“Gotcha! Wait.. New email from her only an hour ago?” Irene frowned, quickly double clicked the yellow unopened envelope icon to open the email.

 

 

From: Kang Seulgi

 

To: Bae Joohyun

 

Dear Ms. Irene,

 

Hereby I attach the draft of presentation material for your requirement this morning. In the afternoon, Ms. Wendy informed me that you had to go home early due to your sudden stomach ache caused by period so I took the initiative to make the rough draft of your presentation. I am sorry if it’s not according to your expectation.

 

Please get well soon.

 

Sincerely yours,

 

Kang Seulgi

 

 

“She made me the presentation draft? Huh it’s not like her competency and IQ would enable her to….” Irene couldn’t continue her sentence because the moment she opened up the presentation file, she was amazed how similar it was with her usual presentation that she created.

 

“Uhm.. Oh.. not bad. You are not bad at all, Seulgi.” Irene mumbled as she scrolled down until she arrived at the end of the page. She started working on the minor revisions which took her not more than an hour; mostly she only needed to fix the choice of words from the explanation and that’s that.

 

“I am done! And it’s not even 4 am now! I am saved!” Irene exhaled with relief.

 

“Should I reply her email and say thank you?” Irene wondered.

 

“But wouldn’t it make her get cocky, thinking that she has saved me just because she..” Again, Irene stopped halfway because the truth was; Seulgi indeed had just saved Irene from the doomsday which would happen if not because of Seulgi being the saviour and all.

 

“Right. If I didn’t say thanks, it’d make me a bad person while I am not one. She is the bad one!” Irene childishly complained and also because of that, she started typing the reply for Seulgi.

 

 

From: Bae Joohyun

 

To: Kang Seulgi

 

 

Dear Seulgi,

 

I have received your email along with the attached file.

 

Thank you for your help.

 

Regards,

 

Irene

 

 

“Now I can have additional hour to nap before I have to wake up for real.” Irene yawned and went back to sleep for another hour.

 

Irene came on time that day and didn’t waste another second, and immediately went to her office room. In about an hour and half, she had to attend the meeting. She was in hurry today that she even forgot to have breakfast. Her office room was unlocked because she forgot to lock it yesterday. She entered the room to find a plastic container on her table. She approached her table and took the card attached on the plastic.

 

 

“I am not sure if your stomach ache has gone by this morning but you have important meeting today so you wouldn’t be absent. In case you haven’t had breakfast, I have bought you a portion of chicken porridge. It’s still labelled so it’s safe to eat.

 

Seulgi”

 

 

“What is she doing?” Irene threw the card and opened the plastic. Her stomach automatically grumbled when she had a sight of the still hot and appetizing porridge.

 

“You better not poison me, Seulgi or you’ll be dead by tomorrow!” Irene mumbled as she fed herself with the porridge until the bowl was totally clean and empty.

 

That day, Irene went home as soon as the clock 5 pm. She felt restless and it’s not even because of work. The presentation earlier went smooth thanks’ to Seulgi’s help. She too had eaten the porridge Seulgi gave her. She hated to admit it but today, her hatred for Seulgi had been reduced a bit. Only a bit, okay not more.

 

Irene reached home when the night hadn’t even arrived. She didn’t feel like eating so she straight went to shower and visited her office room right after. She pulled the drawer and started writing her diary again. However, this time she took an hour just to write a simple page, unlike the usual nights.

 

 

Tuesday, 26th May 2020

 

I got stomach ache yesterday due to having my period. But that’s not the main point here. It forced me to go home early that day. I immediately ate whatever there was inside my fridge so I could swallow the medicine. I didn’t know it’d make me feel sleepy that I fell asleep for long hours.

 

I woke up around 3 am, startled with the fact that I haven’t made my presentation! I hurried up to my office room, turning on my laptop and checking my email just to find out that there’s a new email from my forever enemy, Kang Seulgi! But the content wasn’t that spiteful at least. In fact the email’s attachment has saved me! Wait.. I shouldn’t have even said that…

 

So it turns out she knew that I was sick from Wendy. Ugh remind me to throw my mouse at her later for her big mouth! She tried to be proactive and prepared my presentation draft knowing that I couldn’t concentrate no thanks’ to my stomach pain. Anyway, about 85% of the content is right so I only need around an hour to revise it. It’s hard to say thank you when I know she’s not a good person at first. In fact, it made me more suspicious of her. Therefore, I only sent her email saying I have received the attachment and that’s that. She wished me get well soon but who cares, right? Right…

 

The meeting went well thankfully. I was in a rush this morning that I forgot to have breakfast but what surprised me even more was when found a portion of chicken porridge on my table and it has the logo of the restaurant plus it’s still labelled. I had second thoughts actually whether it’s safe to eat or not but maybe she also got a hunch about my doubts so she attached a short message on the plastic, saying it’s safe to eat. Feeling hungry and all, I emptied the bowl before I ran to the meeting room. Yes, not much insulting words about Seulgi this time but I swear next time there’ll be double of it! That’s only because she’s being helpful today. Period.

 

However, it’s not the last time Irene didn’t write about derogatory sentences about Seulgi because the next day, again Seulgi did good and not to exaggerating things for Irene.

---

 

Wednesday, 27th May 2020

 

Today was tiring. Suddenly my director assigned me to visit the subcontractor’s office to apologize directly to the owner due to late payment from my company. Oh how I hate the finance team who often purposely pay the invoice late with reasons to have a good cash-flow for the company! Damn you, finance!

 

It was an abrupt instruction and there’s no way I could say no so I went back to my office room just to retrieve my laptop and phone before putting it inside my purse. Their head office is quite far from my company building, around 1,5 – 2 hours of driving so I came to Seulgi’s table and asked her to come with me. I gave her the car key and told her to drive.

 

I hate that she has to come but I hate driving for too long more so when the car was slowly moving, I quickly took a nap and ignored Seulgi, telling her to just follow the GPS and wake me up when we have arrived. She only nodded her head as a confirmation. Good, it meant I didn’t need to hear anything coming out from .

 

Actually I didn’t need her for the meeting so I told her to just wait in the lobby until I have finished meeting. She weakly agreed and sat on the lobby on her own. I entered the meeting room and it took me two hours if not more to finally recover our agreement and dissipate the owner’s anger toward my company. Huff, what a day!

 

It was already 1.30 pm when I finished meeting and my stomach not so silently made an embarrassing sound when we walked back to the car. Again, that midget surprised me with her useless attempt to make me nicer to her. She gave me sushi and apple juice, saying that she bought it when she went out to search for food. She also informed me, it was still sealed so I wouldn’t need to worry.

 

Ugh I hate my weak famished stomach this afternoon! I ate the food while she was driving back to our office. No words were exchanged between us. I didn’t even say thanks. It’s her job to be prepared all the time, right? Including being ready when I was hungry. Okay, that’s nonsense I was saying but what makes sense is, I hate her and how she is pretending to be kind when she is not! Stop acting would you, Kang Seulgi!?

---

 

Thursday, 28th May 2020

 

I didn’t realize since when I had that many documents to be signed. When I was back from meeting with Wendy this afternoon, I found stacks of documents on my table which I have to review and approve. I also made notes to some documents that still needed revisions until at some point I just realized the ink of my pen has run out!

 

I dropped by to Wendy’s office room to borrow a pen from her and she complained how couldn’t I didn’t have a pen and I promised her I would return it to her by tomorrow. The work went on as usual with me still frustrating over the documents because I didn’t want to bring it home until it’s time for lunch. I went out with Wendy as usual and when I came back to my office room, I found a velvet rectangle box on with white ribbon on my table.

 

I saw the calendar and it’s not my birthday so why there’s a gift on my table? I was curious so I untangle the ribbon and opened the box just to find pen with various colours; red, black, and blue. Well, I usually would use the same colours for signing documents, writing notes during meeting, and such. It’s not that I ever paid attention much about it though.

 

Okay, I missed the notes and I guessed it’d give me a hint of who’s the Santa who has given me the beautiful pen and I assumed it’s Wendy but when I read the notes, it said:

 

“I went to the bookstore this afternoon and decided to buy it. Different colours for different purposes; red for pinpoint revision, blue for signing document, and black for daily usage. Hopefully you’ll like it. If not, just give it to Wendy. I don’t mind :)

 

Seulgi”

 

 

As much as I want to throw the pen away, the shape, the colours, and its brand are really my style. Irene Baes, why are you so easy to be bribed by her! She has bad intentions!! I know I know, but then again she will be gone soon too so there’s no harm in accepting the pen right? I will consider it as a yes.

---

 

Friday, 29th May 2020

 

So I arrived at work too late today because I have a breakfast meeting with the subcontractor which is also why I was forced to park my car at the open yard instead of the basement. I was hoping today would be sunny or if not, cloudy at the very least but today I was run out of luck. My wish didn’t come true and instead, the mean fate gave me heavy rain.

 

The thunder loudly and it’s already 4 pm. I still wished for the miracle to happen, that when it’s already 5 pm the rain would go away just like that and I could go home without being drenched. I continued working, talking on the phone while waiting for the rain to stop. It was already 5.30 pm and the rain was still falling. I decided to just order a coffee from the mini market down the lobby, thinking I would spend more time here.

 

I got back to the office room around half an hour later. It turned out there were quite many people left in this building because the queue was no joke. I placed my coffee on the table when I noticed there’s a dark blue umbrella on the single couch inside my office. I sighed, already had a hunch about who gave it to me. And as usual, there’s a note attached on the umbrella.

 

 

“It’s late already and from the weather forecast this morning I heard, the rain wouldn’t stop until midnight. Just in case it’s true, use this umbrella and drive safely. The rain can slow you down but it’s better safe than sorry, right?

 

 Seulgi”

 

 

Ugh! Why is she so good in doing small things yet matter most to me?! Do you think I am really easy, Kang Seulgi!? If you think those smallest things were enough to atone for your sins to me, then you are totally wrong! I will just reread my diary and find where you have wronged me when we were still… still in that yucky relationship!

---

 

That’s exactly what made Irene sitting on her bed for hours during weekend. She spent the whole Saturday mostly on her bed, reading her own diary from the beginning until the last page she wrote while being with Seulgi. It was on their 99th day being together as lovers and the different yucky Irene wrote how much she couldn’t wait for the 100th day to know what Seulgi would do about them.

 

“So it means the spell was lifted on our 100th day being together? But why? Can it be that the spell cannot be retained for more than 100 days?” Irene thought to herself, fixing the reading glasses she had on her nose.

 

“But even though I was bewitched, the memories were real, weren’t it? Then it meant.. does it mean that Seulgi is actually nice as a lover?” Irene frowned, thinking.

 

“No no.. I must not think that way! The way I wrote must have been affected by the spell too! There’s no way she could be that good. The way I described her was exaggerating. There is no such perfect lover like how I described her in this diary!” Irene clicked her tongue, feeling annoyed with her devastated and confusion heart.

 

Irene was in a huge denial. One side of her didn’t want to believe that Seulgi was actually a good person and most of all, a very decent lover; reasoning out that she wasn’t in her right mind when she had a relationship with Seulgi in the past but another side of her had experienced Seulgi’s kindness through the smallest things she did for her. The small yet impactful attention made her heart touched and felt warm in a way or two but of course she didn’t want to admit it, even to herself.

 

It’s surely been a while since the last time she received that kind of attention from someone. Or probably, she never experienced receiving the small caring and attentions like she did from Seulgi so it’s kinda new for her.

 

Usually, men who interested in her would court her like most of men do; giving her flowers when she didn’t even need it; giving chocolates when she preferred coffee over sweet things; spoiling her when she was an independent woman to begin with and treating her to lunch and dinner. But no one did like how Seulgi did to her and no one had made an impact like how Seulgi did, as much as Irene hated to admit it.

 

“I need more proofs that Seulgi is indeed not that bad and that bewitching is truly only a mistake she did coincidentally.” Irene was determined; her eyes were flaring, burning with passions.

 

“I’m gonna visit some places it’s written in the diary to prove it myself!” Irene clenched he fist and pumped it on the air.

 

And so she spent the rest of the day marking the places she’s gonna visit on her Sunday. She knew one day wouldn’t be enough to visit all places so she just chose 2 -3 places, depending on the time she would spend in each place.

 

Morning came and Irene made herself a smoothy bowl with cold tea. She already planned what she’s going to go for the rest of the day. She deliberately didn’t want the spaces inside her stomach to be fully occupied because she would have big meal for lunch.

 

Sharply at eleven am, she left her apartment building wearing casual clothes. She chose the steak restaurant to visit as the first place. Thankfully she wrote the location inside her diary so it’s not hard to find it. It turned out that the location was not far from her company building. She parked her car properly and walked to the entrance of the restaurant.

 

“Good afternoon, Ms. Irene!” Irene furrowed her eyebrows hearing her name being called. A friendly waiter approached and greeted her as soon as she was sitting on the table for two.

 

“Afternoon.” Irene stiffly smiled to the waiter.

 

“It’s been a while since your last visit. How are you?” The waiter started the conversation.

 

“I am good, thank you.” Irene shortly replied. She wondered if the yucky version of her knew this woman.

 

“Ah, you are alone today?” Irene put a serious expression hearing the question.

 

“I don’t mean to be nosy but you’re usually with another woman; brunette and around this tall. You once called me just to show off that she is your lover. Her name is.. Seul.. Seung Gi? No, it’s not that. It’s-“

 

“Seulgi.” Irene corrected. The waiter smiled.

 

“Yes, that’s her name.” The waiter affirmed.

 

“She cannot make it today. Uhmm.. Did I visit often?” Irene asked, trying to gather more information from the waiter.

 

“About twice a week.” The waiter nodded.

 

“And she usually would help you slicing your steak into bit-sized. I always smiled seeing how sweet you two together. You often winked at me when you caught me watching you two.” The waiter shyly explained.

 

“Ah I see.” Irene smiled a little, imagining the scene based on the waiter’s description.

 

“So, what will you order for today? The usual?” The waiter readied her notes to write the order.

 

“Yes, the usual please.” Irene said. She didn’t even know what the usual was but she trusted the woman must have known since she used to come here often. Irene waited for around 20 – 30 minutes until her food arrived. It was a medium well wagyu steak with rose wine.

 

“Here is your order! Enjoy! Oh please convey my greetings to her when you meet her.” The same waiter served her the food, bowed, and left.

 

Irene started cutting her steak into bites-sized and weirdly, when she was doing it; she could imagine Seulgi sitting in front of her, slicing the steak for her. She shook her head, trying to erase the odd images inside her head. She turned her head, grabbing the glass of wine and sipped it. Again, pictures of Seulgi popped up inside her mind; Seulgi was smiling genuinely when Irene drank the wine empty and reminded her not to get drunk because she’s heavy to carry.

 

“What the-“ Irene almost cursed under her breath because the scenes just happened and kept on playing inside her head even when her logic had instructed it to stop.

 

The images were vivid now, different from the partial scenes she had when she first read her diary. She could imagine it clearly how Seulgi was attentive toward her. She would help her wiping the sauce from Irene’s chin carefully; slicing the steak with perfect size to ensure Irene wouldn’t be choked while swallowing it.

 

Irene tried hard not to be affected by it but the more minutes she spent here, the more images of Seulgi appeared inside her mind. The feelings were indescribable; it was longing mixing with pain feelings that she felt her heart wrenched, as if it summoned for that someone’s name. Irene quickly wiped with the napkin and asked for the bill. She couldn’t finish the meal because the hated that her heart reacted when she tried to eat peacefully.

 

“That was weird.” Irene said breathlessly inside her car. Her stomach hadn’t even processed the steak she fed herself earlier, but she already ran to her car; thinking the place and the memories would affect her not in a good way.

 

“Okay, it’s time for the second place.” Irene ignited the engine and drove away, leaving the restaurant which made her heart affected in a way she couldn’t explain.

 

“Did I really love her? But it couldn’t happen if I wasn’t affected magically.” Irene thought as she was driving.

 

“If I wasn’t bewitched, could I still end up loving her too?” Irene sighed.

 

“But why me? I am not the suitable lover. I didn’t even treat her kindly from the beginning.” Irene felt her head ached when she tried to think harder; she couldn’t find the reasons and all she could do was asking why and how endlessly.

 

“Stop thinking, Hyun! You have few places to go. Let’s just try to answer it later.” Irene finally gave up as she continued driving to the Namsan Tower, the next place she would visit.

 

There were many people and Irene had to search for some time before she could find a space to park her car. She changed her heels into sneakers, thinking that she would need to walk quite far later. She brought her diary with her and she even had made notes from it.

 

“Pink locks with golden ribbon attached on the West side area, on the right side of the lane, facing the widely broad sky. The statement is written in black ink.” Irene repeated the key words she just found in her diary. She didn’t notice first there’s a ‘PS’ written in smaller font, telling her how to find the locks should she wanted to revisit the tower.

 

“It’d be hard to find it but there’s no other way to prove the truth about her but doing this.” Irene exhaled, already feeling tired when she hadn’t even climbed down from the car.

 

Irene then got out from the car and walked to the tower. She waited for the elevator to pick her up together with other visitors. It only took 5 minutes until the elevator arrived. She was alone, unlike most of visitors who came with her or his lovers. She looked around, trying to find the right direction.

 

“West area. Where is it?” Irene turned her head from right to left to find the signboard which could tell her where the west area was.

 

“Ah this way!” Irene briskly walked toward the direction and found countless of locks attached on the right and left sides of the narrow lane.

 

Irene started to walk slowly as she bent her body so she could notice the pink locks with golden ribbon. There were so many pink locks and Irene was even shocked with the fact, well despite the fact she even did attach locks too here because in her current state, she thought it was too cheesy and fingers-curling thing to do.

 

After an hour and almost cramp calf seeking for the right locks, she finally found it. The golden ribbon was thankfully still there so she could find it more easily. She read the sentence carefully and it’s read the same as what she wrote inside her diary.

 

‘May we stay together forever until deaths do us apart! May our love grow bigger and stronger also!’

 

She was totally sure she only read the statement and nothing else when she felt her eyes glistening with tears; one blink and it’d fall down to her cheeks. She gasped, realizing what just happened. She took an image of the locks together with the sentence written and backed away. She found an empty bench and sat on it.

 

“Why am I feeling so sad right now?” Irene bit her bottom lip, holding back the tears.

 

Her heart felt hurt and her tears were forced to be out but she tried to hold it all back. No, she must not be affected by the too innocent and stupid heart of hers. She stared at the vast sky in front of her, trying to calm down when her mind played on its own; imagining she was standing side by side with Seulgi looking at the sky with hands intertwined with each other.

 

Seulgi was whispering some words that made Irene’s head turned around and smiled sincerely. She herself even never found someone that could make her smile like that. Irene said something to Seulgi and it made both of them laughed freely, like there was no one around but them, like they were the only visitors of the tower that day, like the world was inside their palms and evolved only around them.

 

“Why am I feeling this way?” Irene shut her eyes, stopping the images she was seeing when she stared at the sky earlier.

 

“What have you done aside from bewitching me, Kang Seulgi?” Irene exhaled loudly, still feeling the tears b in her eyes. She then got up and descended the tower until she reached her car.

 

“I have to go home. I cannot go to the third place. It’s devastating me already.” Irene hurriedly drove back to her apartment.

---

 

Irene threw her purse to the bed as she too threw her body to her bed negligently. Her face was buried in the pillow and she screamed out loud. She huffed breathlessly, feeling regret to pursue the memories she used to create with Seulgi because right now it left her with jumbled feelings and unsettled thoughts.

 

“Why?! Why must I be affected by it!? Why can’t you stop feeling things about that damn Kang Seulgi!?” Irene turned around, facing the ceiling and clenching her chest, still couldn’t accept that she felt many things during her visits to the restaurant and Namsan Tower.

 

“She is not good, dammit! Why can’t you see it, Irene Bae!? That person has put you under spell that you could do ridiculous things with her! She did it only for her own benefits!” Irene felt infuriated to herself. She knew deep deep inside she couldn’t find the answers about what benefits Seulgi would get from being her lover but still, she was in denial and didn’t want to accept Seulgi’s important place in her heart.

 

“Besides, she will be gone soon. I don’t have to think about her anymore and the ‘what ifs’ question will be forgotten too.” Irene tried to entertain herself with another fact. Yes, Wendy said the new employee replacing Seulgi would join the company by next Wednesday so it meant Seulgi would spend 2 weeks more at max working under Irene.

 

“She is resigning and I don’t have to see her face anymore.” Irene stated but weirdly, instead of feeling relieved, she felt more pain and sadness inside her heart. She heaved a sigh, letting herself go and finally those tears she tried to hold back trickling down her face.

 

“She’s gonna be out from the company and from my life too. I should be happy.. but I am not happy. What is really wrong with me?” Her mind started replaying the events when they were still together and this time, she didn’t try to stop it.

 

She knew herself better than anyone. The happiness she should have felt knowing that Seulgi would be gone soon had been evaporated and replaced with worriedness, sadness, and confusion. She was divided between giving up and doing nothing about Seulgi’s departure or trying to stop her and giving her a chance to prove herself; to prove that after all, the feelings Seulgi felt for Irene was real and unconditional and that Irene too could feel the same.

 

No, it wasn’t love that Irene felt right now for Seulgi. It was uncertain, indescribable feelings that gnawed her inside. It was too not a feeling of pity; it was much more than that. It was a mixed of curiosity with sadness and a feeling of loss when she was thinking that in mere weeks, she wouldn’t be able to look at Seulgi anymore.

 

“What should I do about it?” Irene groaned, feeling both her mind and heart were too tired to think, to presume, to observe, or to conclude. She just wanted to sleep right now and hoping the problems would leave her when the morning came but no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t fall asleep. She still had leftover problems that she had to sort out no matter how complicated it was; and yes it’s related to the person named Kang Seulgi.

 

Yes, it’s true that she should have felt happy with the thoughts of Seulgi might be gone soon; that she didn’t need to see her face again and be bothered by what ifs’ questions. But why her heart didn’t want to listen to her? Why was it reacting differently? No, it wasn’t happy; her heart was far from being happy. Instead, it felt pain knowing that Seulgi’s face would no longer around the company.

 

Irene took a deep breath, closing her eyes and let he heart guided her. What did it want? If it wasn’t happy now, then when was the last time she felt happy? Irene tossed and turned, unable to erase the thoughts of Seulgi’s departure and what she had done to her. She should have felt contented from her achievements; had succeeded becoming a manager in young age, being an achiever in work, having a beautiful face, and all but it wasn’t enough to make her feel happy; it was still lack of something. Her heart told her that all that she owned right now couldn’t make her happy.

 

What had made her happy then? Irene thought hard and gasped the moment she realized; she remembered she’s being happy when Seulgi was in her life. It’s really hard to admit and even her pride didn’t allow herself to confess how Seulgi brought differences in her life; good ones if she could be a little more honest toward herself. Maybe she was being bewitched but those smiles attached on her face when she’s with Seulgi were real.

 

“Seulgi made me happy. It’s unbelievable but..” Irene sighed, couldn’t bring the continuation of her words to her lips; she’s too arrogant to say it. She turned, sleeping sideways. She was restless, that’s for sure.

 

“I was bewitched. How could I know that the happiness I felt was real?” Irene furrowed her eyebrows, contemplating seriously.

 

Irene tried to remember again the content of her diaries and places she had visited earlier today. If the happiness was artificial, then why did her heart respond when she’s in the restaurant? Why did her heart could still feel the warmth when she imagined she’s sitting with Seulgi right in front of her, slicing her steak and gave her the sincerest smile?

 

If Irene wasn’t happy, then why she felt sad when she retraced their memories visiting the Namsan Tower together? Why were her eyes tearing up just by reading those supposedly empty words written on the locks? It was a hint that Irene once felt very happy with Seulgi, wasn’t it? The woman shook her head, disagreeing with the ideas although she had difficulties to search other reasons; any other reasons for as long as it’s not related to Seulgi.

 

“Can I feel the same feelings with others? Or.. could it be.. Only Seulgi.. No.. there are so many people who are willing to be with you. Seulgi is not irreplaceable.” Irene’s lips denied it but actually her heart said yes; that only Seulgi who could make her happiest.

 

“But if all those feelings were not real, how could I still feel it when I ate in the restaurant and when I read those words attached on the locks?” Irene’s logic and heart were contradictive that she felt her head ached as she reconsidered which way she had to take.

 

“Perhaps I was bewitched but I still could feel that what she did for me was real. She cared about me and I have to admit I’ve never felt that loved before by those before her.” Irene took a long breathe, running her fingers through her hairs to reduce her stress a bit.

 

“If she’s indeed the source of my happiness, would I be willing to let her go just like that? What if I cannot feel the same feelings again when she’s gone?” Irene spilled her fear through her lips.

 

“But what if..” Irene quickly shook her head with the idea that she didn’t even want to say it out loud despite the fact there’s no one but her inside her apartment.

 

“I have decided. Staying silent and being kept in the dark is not a solution.” Irene finally made her mind. Could she sleep after? Of course not, it took her hours to plan out about what she had to do the day after, when she had a chance to meet Seulgi.

 

“I have to do something about it tomorrow.”

---

 

The next day was Monday and Irene didn’t feel like working. The event last night still left a deep mark but at least she already knew what to do about it. She was a strong woman and could barely be affected with affections, love, or anything related to that but this time, she couldn’t deny it anymore that it disrupted her so much she couldn’t concentrate at work.

 

There was a meeting today with Seulgi and subcontractor. She said only few words, spending her time to observe and stare at Seulgi instead while letting Seulgi do the speech and all. She even deliberately opened her door and curtains widely today so she could spare a glance when Seulgi was moving around the cubicles or when she went to the toilet.

 

She frowned seeing the hardworking Seulgi when she was copying papers on the photocopy machine. She would fidget her feet while standing and waiting for the copy process to finish. Or when Seulgi went to the pantry to refill the water, she counted that Seulgi could drink up to 3 bottles a day. She exhaled deeply, knowing she’s in deep trouble because she’s affected that one day; she couldn’t get this view anymore.

 

“Would she miss me when she’s not here anymore? Does she still have feelings for me?” Irene grumbled as she was eyeing Seulgi. When the younger woman was working with her laptop, all Irene could see was her back and yet it’s enough to make her think; ‘Who else can treat me the way she treated me?’; ‘will my life be better without her?’

 

Her heart started to cause a riot inside; demanding her to do something about Seulgi and not just stay silent until the woman had finally gone and it’d be all too late to fix everything. Being determined, Irene finally summoned Seulgi to her office room right after the lunch time had over.

 

“Excuse me, Mam. Is there anything I can help you with?” Seulgi appeared on Irene’s door.

 

“Come in, close the door and have a seat.” Seulgi nodded and did as she’s told.

 

“It’s been some time and maybe it’s too late to ask this but.. why did you decide to resign, Seulgi?” Irene folded her hands on her chest, leaning back to her chair.

 

“Uhmm.. Honestly reason is out of the work context, Mam and we both know why I did it.” Seulgi was startled with the question. She thought Irene wouldn’t ever ask her about it until she’s completely gone from her sight once and for all.

 

“Is it because of me?” Irene pointed at herself. Seulgi inhaled deeply before nodding her head as the answer.

 

“But still.. we can work professionally and no personal matters will be involved so why? Are you not happy working under me or in this company perhaps?” Irene leaned forward, having her eyes eyeing Seulgi closely.

 

“You said you hated me, Mam and working with the people you hate will never give a good result.” Seulgi replied carefully.

 

“I did say that.” Irene said more to herself.

 

“Yes, you did. Besides..” Seulgi halted, stopping herself before she could say more.

 

“Besides.. what?” Irene asked further.

 

“Nothing, Mam.” Seulgi shook her head quickly.

 

“Why, Seulgi?”

 

“Pardon, Mam? Why what?”

 

“Why did you fall in love with me?”

 

“Do, Mam.” Seulgi quickly corrected.

 

“Huh?”

 

“It is not past tense.” Seulgi softly said but Irene could hear it clearly.

 

“So you still love me.” Seulgi took sometime before nodding her head.

 

“Why do you love me then?” Irene repeated the question.

 

“I just do. Who won’t be in love with you, Mam? You are charming, beautiful, smart, punctual, and a carefree woman who doesn’t care about peoples’ point of view when it comes to principle.” Seulgi shyly confessed.

 

“I am strict, assertive, emotional, and moody person, Seulgi. The person you described is not me.” Irene argued.

 

“It is you, Mam. It may be hidden or buried deep inside you but it’s still you. Even if you’re not and more like a person you just said; strict, assertive, emotional, and moody; my feelings would stay the same; to still be in love with you.” Seulgi encouraged herself and had her eyes on Irene’s when she said those words.

 

“I.. I am sorry for saying too much.” Seulgi stammered the moment she realized what she just said to Irene.

 

“It’s okay. Thank you for being honest.” Irene said and Seulgi couldn’t believe her ears. She thought she’d be shouted or at least scolded for still having feelings for Irene. But instead, Irene’s expression was blank that Seulgi failed to predict what was inside Irene’s thoughts.

 

“Here is your resignation letter.” Irene pulled the drawer and showed the still folded paper to Seulgi before she put it on the table.

 

“I will keep on loving you for as long as you remember me.” Irene quoted.

 

“I will never leave for as long as you remember me.” Irene added another quote.

 

“Now how could you do all that when you are leaving me? How could you still be in love with me when you’re not even here anymore?” Irene propped her chin on her temple as she was eyeing Seulgi’s shocked expression.

 

“You.. remember?” Seulgi asked, uncertain with the sentences she just heard from Irene.

 

“I do. So, answer my question. How will you do it when you are no longer here?” Irene grabbed the paper and clutched it inside her palm tightly.

 

“I.. I don’t know.” Seulgi frowned, unable to find the answers. But then again, didn’t Irene want her to leave? So, why did she do this?

 

“You can’t.” Irene shortly remarked.

 

“Huh?”

 

“The answer is you cannot do it, Seulgi-ah. That’s why I will rip this paper into pieces so you cannot leave me or this company.” Irene crumpled the paper and teared up the paper into pieces. Seulgi gasped, her eyes went wide witnessing her resignation letter had been destroyed by Irene.

 

“I have remembered it all, Seulgi but the feelings hadn’t returned. Honestly, I went to revisit the places we used to go together. I went to the restaurant and the waiter greeted me, asking where you were.” Irene informed Seulgi about what she had did the day before.

 

“It felt different eating alone. I used to do it all the time but why does it feel lonely lately? I couldn’t even finish the steak because your images kept on popping out during the whole time I was there. I still could imagine how you used to be tricked by me and yet you still sliced my steak just so I would be happy.” Irene added.

 

“I also went to the Namsan Tower. It was hard to find our locks but I succeeded because you told me to attach ribbon on it so it’d be easier to find it should we want to look for it one day. You were right and it enabled me to find it. I also read the sentence again. It was cheesy and in my normal state, I would never write it but I did and when I read it; instead of feeling disgusted, I felt hurt, sad, and lost.” Irene’s eyes roamed to Seulgi’s face, trying to convey that what she had said was true even though it’d be hard for Seulgi to believe it since she had been very rude and all but good toward Seulgi.

 

“I actually had planned to at least visit few places we used to come together yesterday but I couldn’t do it. It’s too hard for me. I couldn’t control my heart from reacting when I visited those two places. And your face too kept on appearing so I decided to stop and just go home.” Irene took a long breathe before continuing.

 

“Even at home, I still couldn’t just go to sleep. I was tired, my mind was restless, and my heart was painful; even my logic was disabled. You were the only one filled my head last night. I tossed and turned in my bed and closed my eyes, yet I was still sober. My eyes were shut but my heart was still directed toward you.” Irene’s voice sounded sad.

 

“Tell me, Seulgi-ah. Was I happy when we were together?” Irene looked up and stared at Seulgi.

 

“I.. I cannot answer it. I know I was so happy when I was with you and you often laughed when we were together but was it because you’re truly happy or due to being under spell; I have no idea.” Seulgi stated honestly and Irene too could feel how it painful it must be for Seulgi to say those words.

 

“So we were happy. I was happy too despite of my state at that time. Say, Seulgi-ah. What did you do to make my other self happy at that time?”

 

“Well, you used to do ridiculous things with me. We were stupidly in love and we often did silly things; even I didn’t mind to do nonsense things just to bring a smile to your face. We bickered playfully and you would nag endlessly until I said yes to whatever weird things you had in mind.” Seulgi carefully said.

 

“And?” Irene observed Seulgi, wanting to hear more from Seulgi’s mouth.

 

“You often tricked me just so I would do things you wanted. We would kiss secretly when no one’s around. I would hold your hand tightly when you were being jealous, telling you that I would never cheat on you. I would hug you and whisper comforting words when you’re afraid I’d leave you. I would kiss your tears away when you’re crying. In short, I was always there for you so you’d never feel lonely and sad.” Seulgi’s eyes started to get teary; she couldn’t prevent the memories from emerging as she tried to elaborate it to Irene.

 

“And what will you do to make me happy again?” Irene noticed the changing expression from Seulgi and right there, right at that time, she knew that Seulgi indeed loved her that much.

 

“If you ask me now; I’d leave for good to make you happy because I know you dislike me that much; you’re nauseated of me and I know my place; I deserve your hatred, your rage, and your anger toward me.” Seulgi exhaled deeply.

 

“I also know that saying sorry wouldn’t be enough to repent all of my sins toward you. But.. I am truly sorry for what I did, Mam.” Seulgi looked up so her tears wouldn’t fall.

 

“How could you think that by leaving me means I’d be happy? You just said that you did all those complicated things just to bring a smile to my face. And now you assume by doing simple thing such as walking away would make me happy?” Seulgi frowned, didn’t understand what Irene meant by that.

 

“I have told you that I remembered it all, Seulgi. I also have remembered those feelings fluttering inside me when I was with you. I was happy I had you in my life and I want to feel those happiness feelings again.” Irene exclaimed.

 

“So will you do the favour to do things again that can affect me and maybe make me fall in love with you again?” Seulgi was still in blank state, unable to comprehend the things Irene just did and the words Irene just said.

 

“Seulgi-ah. Earth to, Kang Seulgi!” Irene waved her hand in front of Irene’s face and when it didn’t affect the latter, she snapped her fingers until she got Seulgi’s attention back.

 

“Ah yes, I am sorry.” Seulgi awkwardly smiled.

 

“So?” Irene reminded.

 

“So?” Seulgi blinked, could only repeat the question Irene said.

 

“What do you say about it? Can you prove me one more time that you deserve my love? Can you make me love you again? I know it won’t be too soon but-“

 

“Yes, I can!” Seulgi’s brain finally went back to work that she understood what Irene meant. She interjected and stood up as she answered the question with full of determination.

 

“I will return the love you used to have for me and I will wait patiently until it happens. There’s no need to rush it, Mam”

 

“Joohyun.” Irene smiled.

 

“Y-yeah. Joohyun-ah, I will prove it to you that we can be in love again. Meanwhile, can I do one thing?” Seulgi asked, still standing up.

 

“What is that?” Irene tilted her head.

 

“This.” Seulgi smiled, turning around. She locked the door and lowered down the curtain before approaching Irene.

 

“Wh-what are you doing?” Irene stuttered. Her face became red when Seulgi suddenly walked toward her.

 

“Re-enacting the scene you used to do to me.” Seulgi made her way around Irene’s table to approach her. Seulgi smiled, bending her body with face inching closer.

 

“May I?” Seulgi asked for Irene’s permission.

 

“Su-sure.” Irene confirmed, closing her eyes. She wasn’t that sure about what would happen, thinking it’d be too fast but since she’s the one who gave Seulgi the second chance, she too needed to trust Seulgi and let her-

 

“Thank you.” Irene frowned when Seulgi’s lips landed on her forehead instead.

 

“Why? Are you expecting more?” Seulgi chuckled seeing Irene’s annoyed expression.

 

“Of course not!” Irene pushed Seulgi’s shoulder softly, trying to create space between her and Seulgi’s body.

 

“We have plenty of time to do that later. For now, I will keep on reminding how we ended up falling in love with each other. Let’s recreate our own love story.” Seulgi caressed Irene’s cheek with her palm.

 

“Let’s.” A smile spread on Irene’s lips.

 

“I love you, Hyun-ah.” Seulgi confessed and hugged Irene.

 

‘I will love you too, Seulgi-ah. Please bear with me a little longer until I can say those three words back to you.’ Irene said inside her heart and hugged Seulgi tighter.

---

 

 

Friday, 27th November 2020

 

It’s been around 6 months since we’ve been dating and having her back in my life is the best decision I have ever made. I was doubtful at first and even that feelings of doubting Seulgi still lingered for the first month we dated each other. I was often being cynical with what she tried to do to me. But eventually, my heart started to act on its own and the doubtful feelings were replaced by infatuation and slowly became love. Yes, it’s none but love

 

We dated, we fought, we argued occasionally too but at the end of the day, before the day changed and the sun rose up again, we’d kiss and admitted we’ve been wrong although it’s hard not to repeat the same mistakes again. Sadly, we never chose as the best method to reconcile and as a peace declaration. Why? Don’t ask me! Ask Seulgi! She said she had a trauma of having with me. Ugh, that idiot!

 

And yes, she has told me that I went back to normal and literally forgot things I did with her after we made love the last time. She called it love, I called it being bewitched at that time but now that I have acknowledged my feelings which are called love by the way, she didn’t have enough faith and courage to ‘do’ me. I am willing and ready while she’s being a coward and annoying and.. Ugh! It keeps boiling my anger whenever I am reminded that we never slept together after all this time!

 

Having a body like a wonderland, of course I asked her why we still haven’t slept together despite the fact that we’ve been together for months! She said we’d sleep after we get married. Can you believe that!? She told me it’d be her safety net because it’d be hard for me to get out from the marriage should I regret it after we’ve made love. She is insane I tell you! And it’s even been a while since the last time I insulted her inside my diary. That Kang ing Seulgi!! It should be Kang ing Seulgi ing Irene! But oh well…

 

I was angry at her because it’s not that easy to get married and I am not that patient to wait longer. It takes lots of preparations before we can get married. Oh come on, I have waited for 6 months without any progressing result. How long more does she need to torture me? Seulgi-ah, would you just strip me and satisfy me already?! Damn that stupid bear!

 

By the way, she proposed to me during dinner tonight! I was already suspicious when she said she wanted to have dinner further from our usual place. The foods too are all extravagant with my favourite wine as the perfect complement. She surprised me when suddenly the bands consisted of violinist, guitarist, harmonica musician came up and she serenaded me. At the end, she bended on her knee, asking me to marry her! Omo I am still blushing whenever I remember that event~ Obviously, I said YES to the proposal!!

 

The people around us clapped their hands, cheering her up and yelling congratulations! I was and still am so happy! It’s still hard to imagine that one day I’d say yes to a woman instead of a man, but then again…..

 

 

“Hyun-ah, are you inside?” Seulgi knocked Irene’s office room inside her apartment.

 

“Yes, Seul?” Irene replied. She stopped writing.

 

“Can I come in?” The door slowly got opened and Seulgi’s face slipped in.

 

“Come here.” Irene closed the diary and put it back inside her drawer.

 

“What are you doing?” Seulgi approached her lover, already fiancé starting tonight.

 

“Hmm.. Writing how happy I am to finally wear this not-so-bad diamond ring?” Irene showed the glimmering diamond attached on the ring which was now worn by Irene.

 

“Not so bad?” Seulgi rolled her eyes.

 

“Yep. Unless you prefer better-than-nothing diamond ring?” Irene teased the latter more.

 

“You can always say NO you know. I can buy you a bigger and better diamond ring if-“ Seulgi was silenced by Irene’s lips.

 

“I was just joking, baby. I would still say yes even if you proposed me with a plastic ring although which woman would say no to a huge shimmering diamond.” Irene chuckled and Seulgi pouted again.

 

“Oh come on stop pouting. It should have been our happy day today.” Irene pinched Seulgi’s cheek.

 

“Why do you like to tease me so much?” Seulgi sighed.

 

“Why? Do you like the old version of me better? The annoying, selfish, emotional, version of me?” Irene questioned, still smiling.

 

“It’s a lie if I said I like the old you better even though I don’t mind having both versions of you. I have fallen in love with the bewitched version of you and that love hasn’t withered even when bewitched version had been replaced with the annoying emotional and such version of you. Now, I am standing in front of you not only as your lover but also as your fiancé with the renewed version of you. However you are, this love of mine will never be gone, Joohyun-ah. You have to do your worst to get rid of me.” Seulgi smirked before leaning forward to kiss Irene’s temple.

 

“You and your love for cheese.” Irene smiled, blushing. She closed her eyes and felt Seulgi’s lips on her forehead.

 

“You love me being cheesy.” Seulgi stated.

 

“I don’t mind for as long as those sweet words are only for me.” Irene stood up and moved her right hand, squeezing Seulgi’s pair of lips.

 

“Ouch. Of course it’s only for you. You are my first and last girlfriend, also soon to be my wife.” Seulgi rubbed her lips.

 

“Good, or I’d go and have this ring pawned.” Irene threatened.

 

“Please don’t do that! The instalment is still a year away.” Seulgi pretended to gasp.

 

“Then it means we cannot get married until your instalment is finished! Does it mean-“

 

“No no no. I will go to the bank and ask for more money from them so we still can get married in few months.” Seulgi leaned in and showered Irene’s face with kisses, starting from her left cheek, right cheek, her eyes, forehead, and finally her lips.

 

“Let me reconsider that.” Irene played along.

 

“Please do. I will even propose you again with different method if that’s what it takes to maintain you as my fiancé.” Seulgi begged, kneeling and laying her head on Irene’s lap.

 

“I won’t go anywhere, silly.” Irene ruffled Seulgi’s hair.

 

“Are you sleepy?” Seulgi looked up.

 

“Not really.” Seulgi shook her head as an answer.

 

“Let’s get you to bed.” Irene beckoned Seulgi to get up and led her to the bedroom.

 

It’s a habit for them to cuddle or more like for Seulgi to spoon Irene or let her rest her head on Seulgi’s shoulder until both of them went asleep but tonight was different. Seulgi laid sideways, facing Irene and rejecting the older woman to sleep comfortably on Seulgi’s broad shoulder.

 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Irene asked suspiciously.

 

“I am amazed by your beauty.” Seulgi smiled widely. Her eyes were focusing on Irene’s eyes.

 

“Oh come on. You already have me as your fiancé. No need to court me more, Seul.” Irene jokingly complained.

 

“But I want to continuously courting you for as long as I live. I want to remind you that this person named Kang Seulgi will always love you and that you deserve to be loved.” Seulgi’s hand reached out and caressed Irene’s cheek.

 

“Thank you, baby. You are so sweet. I love you too you know.” Irene closed her eyes, feeling Seulgi’s soft palm on her face.

 

“I love you more.” Seulgi smiled before bringing her face closer and kissed Irene softly right on her lips.

 

The kissed grew more intense as their lips attached to each other and their tongues dancing excitedly. Even Seulgi didn’t realize since when she’s on top of Irene that the older woman was beneath her with Irene’s hands wrapping around Seulgi’s neck. Seulgi tilted her head to the left and kissed Irene more deeply, more passionately, and more lustfully. Today was their engagement day and for Seulgi, it’s still unbelievable how Irene had said yes to her proposal while for Irene, she felt the luckiest woman in the world for having Seulgi as her future wife.

 

“Seulgi-ah?” Irene pulled away first with her lips were still ghosting on Seulgi’s lips.

 

“Yeah?” Seulgi asked breathlessly.

 

“Please make love to me? Today is our special day and I want to celebrate it further with you. I want you to have all of me.” Irene’s eyes screamed loudly how big her love she had for Seulgi. It was earnest, filled with nothing but longings, hopes, and absolutely love.

 

“I swear nothing will happen with us after we have made love. But you have to promise me that you have to stay after.. after we did it.” Irene shyly said but still tried to maintain her eyes on Seulgi to prove how she’s committed in the relationship.

 

“….” Seulgi stayed silent, thinking.

 

“I love you, Joohyun-ah.” Seulgi finally smiled before continuing the process. She started to discard Irene’s clothes slowly until she’s left with nothing.

 

“I love you too.” Irene gave the last remaining pieces for Seulgi for the second time; well that if you counted the first time when Irene was still being bewitched.

---

 

“Uhm.. So?” Seulgi asked nervously after they had finally made love for the first time after months of being together.

 

It was surely still too good to be true for both of them, especially for Seulgi. Irene was beautiful in Seulgi’s eyes and it was an absolute and undeniable statement but the expression she had after Seulgi made love to her was priceless. Seulgi moved her hand forward and caressed Irene’s brunette hair softly, wanting to convey how much she loved her and how much she felt grateful for the second chance given by Irene; although Seulgi didn’t let Irene catch sleep to ensure she didn’t forget nor did she feel regret after doing it with her.

 

“So.. what?” Irene asked sleepily. She was tired yet very happy and satisfied.

 

“Do you know who I am?” Seulgi asked, face leaning in so she was eye to eye level with Irene.

 

“Of course I do, you silly. How else I still let you sleep beside me and too not to mention.” Irene rolled her eyes.

 

“I am serious!” Seulgi muttered.

 

“I am too~ to make you feel better; I still love you, you stupid Kang Seulgi.” Irene chuckled. She pecked Seulgi’s lips and finally, the younger woman could breathe normally, after trying to hold her breath for seconds while waiting for Irene’s confirmation.

 

“Now sleep. I am tired.” Irene tried to close her eyes.

 

“Oh, you are great by the way.” Irene opened it again just to wink at Seulgi and smirked teasingly.

 

“Does it mean you won’t forget who I am or what we are after we made love?” Seulgi asked again just to reassure.

 

“I think so? Unless you got me bewitched again.” Irene responded, eyes still closed.

 

 “I will never do such thing again!” Seulgi said slightly louder, making Irene winched.

 

“No need to shout.” Irene protested.

 

“Sorry.” Seulgi chuckled.

 

“So if we you know.. if we make love again, the result will be the same right?” Seulgi asked carefully, hinting her real intentions in the softest way possible.

 

“I can’t do the second round if that’s what you meant. I am too tired, Seul. Let’s just do it again tomorrow.” Irene mumbled and Seulgi pouted; too bad Irene couldn’t see it though because she’s too sleepy to even open her eyes.

 

“But I will do all the work and.. and it’s the first time we do it after 6 months and 2 weeks of being together!” Seulgi tried again, whining.

 

“Your fault, not mine. I have hinted you so many times and even confronted you about it but you always said to wait until we get married and such.” Irene uttered, raising both her eyebrows to collect enough strength to finally open her eyes.

 

“B-but. We only did it once! And we just engaged today! We should celebrate more, Hyun-ah.” Seulgi was so cute when she tried to find a strong reason to make Irene change her mind. Irene held back her laughter while staring at Seulgi’s expression.

 

“Shut up and let’s sleep, Seulgi. Continue your complaint tomorrow.” Irene muffled Seulgi’s mouth with her palm so the younger woman couldn’t talk gibberish more.

 

“Bfut ifhs not shfair!” Seulgi protested incoherently.

 

“Sleep or you won’t even get any tomorrow.” With that, Seulgi went silent and Irene released her palm from Seulgi’s mouth.

 

“Fine!” Seulgi answered shortly, still complained deep inside.

 

“Good night, Seulgi-ah. I love you.” Irene climbed over Seulgi’s body and had her head on Seulgi’s shoulder, holding the younger woman tightly.

 

“Good night, Joohyun-ah. I love you too.” Seulgi kissed Irene’s head.

 

‘Thank you for learning how to love me.’ Seulgi said inside her head.

 

‘Thank you for teaching me how to love you.’ Irene smiled before going to dreamland.

---

 

The story is finally completed ^^

I hope you like the ending though. Thank you for reading and your thoughts or comments would be highly appreciated :)

See you in another story (hopefully)