my first, and hopefully my last.

there’s nothing wrong with hoping, right? chaewon remembers the day she realized that she loves her. 

it was her birthday. a simple surprise celebration for her that minju held. they were staying at chaewon’s rest house. to chaewon’s surprise, everyone also somehow knew that chaewon’s family owned the beach. she later founds out that minjoo told them to do the surprise at chaewon’s beach house.

she also felt quite dumbfounded as she did not realize that minjoo had planned something for her, at her own place. her own place, and she didn’t even notice!

all in all, it was fun. they were having fun outside as the cold breeze of the ocean reaches them, the campfire warming them up. when they went out to the back of the house, it was probably around 11:00. she checks the time again. 11:58. minjoo had held the surprise but she hasn’t greeted chaewon.

she sighs. yena and— is that hyewon and yuri carrying and threatening to throw yena at the cold ocean? she laughs. her friends really are something. “hey.” she feels someone stand beside her. ah, that voice. 

the oh, so familiar home-y voice. of course, chaewon recognizes that voice. it’s her favourite voice to hear anyway. she looks at her. “hey.” she breathes. 11:59. “are you having fun?” the taller girl asks. she purses her lips, “yeah. thanks to you.” one more minute. did she forget?

11:59:49

“happy birthday chaewon.” minjoo smiles, showing her dimples. her eyes turned into crescents. “i.. wanted to greet you first, but they already beat me to it.” minjoo laughs. chaewon hears a melody. it was a different melody- simple yet beautiful. the pounding of her own heart. 

oh. 

the question she kept ignoring was finally answered. the question that always kept her wide awake at night— (lies). whenever she wakes up, she questions it, yet always tries to brush it off. hoping it would pass. she always told herself it would pass.

today, she knew. it won’t. no longer questioning and escaping and running away. and at that moment, everything made sense, and everything was in color.

it felt like what you would see when the sun has just started rising. the beautiful colors it would show. or, when day and night colors would mix, giving purple and orange hues. it’s always a beautiful sight. 

and with this, chaewon accepts. 

she loves minjoo.

everything was a blur. all she could hear was some muffled words she couldn’t understand. “love!” she snaps out of her thoughts. “yes?” she asks. did she space out? god. “you weren’t listening!” minjoo glares at her. what a sight. she smiles. 

she still can’t believe that minjoo is hers, but alas, god was in her favor and gave minjoo to her. probably out of pity that she might end up in a one sided love. or as cheesy as it sounds, she prefers to think they were meant to be. it’s better than the other thought she has in mind anyway. “i’m sorry, baby. what were you saying?”

“you’ll be my last, right?” my first and last. somewhat hard to reach for others, but they’re not just others. she’s sure of that. minjoo is minjoo, and well, chaewon is chaewon. even if the world was against them, she won’t let minjoo be someone else’s. 

like the warm sun greeting you through the blinds every morning, or the stars that greet you at night, are something that probably exists every lifetime. minjoo is your lifetime. 

“of course. we’re lifetime partners. i will look for you in every lifetime and love you there. maybe on some of them, we won’t be each other’s first, but we’ll always be each other’s last. for now, we are each other’s first and last.”