QOTD: ‘No, trust me. I do NOT have the hots for Kang Seulgi.’ -Krystal

            “I’m dying, Saeron.”

            Yeri launched herself onto her bed without even changing out of her clothes and wailed into her pillow with much resemblance to what one would expect a blobfish to sound like if it gained the same sentience as humans but could only make one sound. Saeron seemed to follow that exact line of thought, because she cringed with the utmost sincerity of her heart.

            “If you’re gonna die, can you do it elsewhere and in a manner that won’t give me hearing loss?”

            “, if I die, I’m taking you with me.”

            Saeron gave her a concerned look. “Forget platonic soulmates, I don’t even think I want to touch you with a buzzsaw.”

            “You’re just jealous because my radiance would melt your skin if you actually touched me.”

            Yeri didn’t see the deadpan expression on Saeron’s face. “Sure, let’s put it that way.”

            The worn-out girl rolled over and inhaled deeply as her friend got ready to go out. It was Monday, and Yeri had told Saeron to prepare for a visit to a new cafè just outside of their campus boundaries for her social media. Her followers had decreased by twelve (Yeri assumed it was from the lack of daily updates), and she wasn’t about to let the count go down any more than that. Even if it meant she’d look like a glammed up zombie for the rest of the semester.

            “Aren’t you gonna change out of your uniform? According to the reviews, the lines start forming about an hour after our school lets out, so you might wanna hurry.”

            Yeri screamed à la Mariah Carey and then went dead silent, prompting a worried Saeron to push her slightly with a sock-covered foot. She stayed like that for a minute before suddenly lunging for the taller girl’s foot, making Saeron shriek, fall onto her , and slam the nearest objects down onto Yeri’s shin. Unfortunately for the surprise attacker, Saeron grabbed a stainless steel water bottle (yes, the ones that sound like the end of the world when dropped to the floor).

            Needless to say, after a trip to the school infirmary, both girls had to stand in an hour-long line to visit the cafè.

            “Why are we even here anyway?” Saeron complained, squinting at the signs inside the establishment. It was barely visible from outside the building, so she gave up and crossed her arms after turning to Yeri. “If I remember correctly, this place isn’t all that special with the exception of all the cucumber menus.” Saeron frowned. “Don’t you not like cucumbers?”

            “Yeah…” Yeri trailed. She fidgeted with something on her phone then lifted it up to take a selfie before turning to answer her friend again. “But as an influencer-” she ignored Saeron’s exasperated eye roll and dramatic sigh- “I need to be a good...influence, haha, for my younger audience. That includes presenting cucumbers in a positive light. Plus,” she continued, “it’s such a cute place! And I don’t have to get something with cucumbers in it. I can get coffee or something, right?”

            Except she ended up getting water and a cucumber iced tea (the former to drink, the latter for show), because they only sold cucumber-flavoured products. Even Saeron stared skeptically at the cucumber muffin she got.

            Oh well. It was for the followers, Yeri reasoned. She pulled open her camera app and started filming.

            The girl regretted it five seconds into her first sip, but there was no way she’d sputter now and redo the take. She could feel the watery, bitter taste with...was that salt? swirling around torturously in . Nevertheless, the teen gritted her teeth and smiled through the pain as she blinked cutely at her phone screen.

            “The lengths you go for popularity…” Saeron chewed her muffin carefully, thoughtfully, before swallowing the remnants and setting the rest aside. “I could never.”

            Yeri glanced at her best friend as she waited for the video to upload. “Well no surprise there. You don’t really put effort into most things.”

            “You’re lucky I’m a very nice person who doesn’t throw food at people.”

            “Uh-huh. I’m gonna ignore the fact that your first reaction to a jump scare was to slam a stainless steel water bottle into my shin.”

            “...I said sorry,” Saeron muttered quietly.

            “You hate Barney?”

            Saeron gave Yeri a look that would’ve made anyone else shrivel up like a dried pepperoncini, but Yeri herself was a force to be reckoned with.

            “Don’t give me that look, . You were the one who wanted to be my friend.”

            Saeron fisted her hair in her hands. “I’m gonna go back in time and slap my eight-year-old self.”

            “Too bad you’re too stupid to create a time-traveling machine.”

            The customers all jumped in their seats and turned to see the commotion when Yeri sprinted out of the building with Saeron hot on her heels.

-------

            Eyes drooping and mind half-delirious, Yeri dragged herself into the student council meeting room after classes ended the next day, mentally reminding herself that her state of near death was all for her own good. She second-guessed herself a little bit, however, when she stepped into the room only to see Irene and Wendy angrily barking about something her mind couldn’t quite comprehend and turned questioningly to all the other members who were busy placing themselves in between the girls.

            The other freshman rep, Suhyun, beckoned Yeri over, so the girl groggily made her way to the arguing seniors, wondering how they could have so much energy after a full day of classes. Wendy briefly glanced at the newcomer but didn’t let the tension die down as she mentioned something about unfair advantages for certain dorms.

            “You live in one of the most well-furnished dorms!” Irene exclaimed, eyes burning into Wendy’s. “Don’t think that I don’t know how you pushed for semi-private bathrooms in RV and GG while we’re still stuck with only two shower stalls on a floor of twenty.”

            “Yeah, but you convinced the dean to install new water fountains on each floor. We have to go all the way down to the first floor.”

            “Because the semi-private bathrooms take up so much space for the water fountains to fit,” Irene growled. “Plus you have a kitchen on every other floor; why can’t you just get your water there?”

            “I’m not gonna drink tap water,” Wendy said, face scrunching up. “It’s especially rich coming from you, since you only drink super expensive mineral water from some random spring in the mystical islands where dragons live.”

            “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

            “You were the one who started this by saying that I should be grateful for having carpeted hallways, when clearly anyone with eyes can see that it’s getting moldy and should be replaced with linoleum.”

            “I was just being reasonable about submitting menial requests like that when there are so many other problems, like with the lights in our—”

            Yeri screamed, effectively cutting off their argument. She quickly ripped off a fake eyelash and dropped it onto her lap, figuring that the sacrifice was for the better good. When everyone came rushing toward her, she purposely breathed raggedly for dramatic effect.

            “Oh my gosh, Yeri, what’s wrong?” Wendy screeched, wide eyes scanning the girl in worry. Irene, despite being a lot calmer, also did the same.

            Yeri smiled, hoping to look sheepish, and held up the evidence of her altruism with two dainty fingers. “I thought I saw a bug drop onto my lap, but it just turned out to be some fake lashes.” She pressed her lips tog