It has been two days since Rosie talked to Jisoo. She prepared herself for the past days conditioning herself to act normal in front of the two as if her feelings for them weren't there to begin with. Pretending to be not in love with them. It was hard on her part because she can no longer see herself from the time when she's not in love with them just like before.

Every time she pretended not to be in love with them, her chest tightened in pain like it was suffocating her.

She decided to it up and be numb as long as she's beside them. Call it selfishness but this is the only way to be with them, to be their friends. And somehow that's enough to ease the pain.

She took a deep breath and walked to their designated table. Be brave, Rosie. Smile.

She took the seat in front of Joohyun and greeted them, "Hello, Joohyun and Jennie Unnie."

"Holy !" Jennie yelped, "You almost gave me a heart attack, Rosie" clutching on her chest.

Rosie giggled, "Sowie, Grandma Jennie." she teased. She saw the said girl roll her eyes. "I miss you, Nini" Jennie pouted, Rosie pinched her cheek.

"Because you're so busy avoiding us." Jennie tilt her head, and the younger girl gulped. There's a slight twitch in her chest, because it's true.

"I'm just busy these past days, Unnie." She reasoned out, waiting for them to reply. Jennie already bought her reasoning, smooches her cheeks as she utters how much she missed her. The actions made Rosie's heart do somersault, afraid that Jennie would hear how loud her heart beats. This will definitely kill her in the future. 

Jennie stopped when they heard a loud hiss, both looked at Joohyun. Ever since Rosie arrived at their table, Joohyun never took a glance at her and never let out a word. She knew this will be harder to please than Jennie. Rosie wouldn't deny that it didn't hurt her at all. Who is she kidding? Of course it hurts her when Joohyun not acknowledging her presence, treating her as if she's not there but then it's her fault.

"U-Unnie, are you mad?" What a damn question, Roseanne of course she is.

Joohyun just tsk-ed at her.

"Don't mind her, Rosie, she's always mad though."

"Joohyun Unnie, I'm sorry, I was busy-."

"Yeah, right, busy hiding."

"That's not it, Unnie-"

"I wasn't informed that we've been playing hide and seek for the past two weeks." Joohyun spat, Rosie bit her lower lip. I guess it’s time to bring out the big gun. Fishing out a box from her paper bag.

"I baked you your favorite carrot cake. Please Unnie, I'm sorry." she pouted, looking at Joohyun with her doe eyes. The latter huffs, and looks away. 

"Carrot cake? That's unfair, Roseanne! How come this Bae has a cake but not for me?" Jennie whined.

"I'm sorry but Jisoo Unnie cornered me and stole the dumplings." I uttered, damn that turtle. She stole the dumpling she made for Jennie as compensation for the stress she went through because of her.

"Jisoo ing Kim, I'm gonna kill you!"

Again Joohyun ignored her.

"Unnie please take this as my apology."

"If you don't want the cake, Bae I'll take it." Before Jennie could snatch the cake, a baby hands were faster than her.

"Who says I don't want it? It's mine so I'll take it." She glared at Jennie, then turned her eyes to Rosie, "This better taste good because if not you're not forgiven and you need to try and try until I'm satisfied, mmkay?" she nodded eagerly, with the look that Joohyun's given her she will be dead if she will not comply.

Of course Jennie demanded the same thing. And Rosie doesn't have a heart to say no.

She simply can't say no to them.

Rosé indulged the girls with her cooked meals for days. She knew that the moment Joohyun accepted her cake means she's already forgiven, there's no reason for her to cook at all. But for her this is the only way to act on her feelings without them knowing it. Because seeing them enjoying and appreciating the food she made is already enough for her, she can live with it. 

Just like that everything is back to normal. She's spending her time with them just like the days before she realized her feelings. She always watched their gestures towards her, keen to their actions, how they treat her, because sometimes at the back of her mind they wandered to the illusion that maybe there's something behind those gestures.

Yes, a part of her wishes that maybe there's a little bit of hope because the two women were so kind, generous, caring towards her but every time  she thought of it, they made her prove that this is only because they're that kind of person to those people around them. They're simply caring, kind and lovable. 

They treated her like a younger sibling and nothing more. That's that. 

She reprimanded herself not to put any malice to their action, she doesn't want to hope for nothing and put another bruise to her heart. And it will only ruin their dynamics if she'll read those actions wrong. It will ruin her. And will ruin the only way she can be with them and she doesn't want that. 

Just like today, Joohyun and Jennie woke her up from their slumber. Jennie's peppering her with kisses whilst Joohyun’s tickling till she opens her eyes. Greeting her good morning. Oh, yeah. The two decided to crash at her condo last night as they wanted a sleepover, she just let them be. She can't say no, not when they're already inside of her unit and comfortably sitting at the sofas. 

And now they woke her up with breakfast in bed, this is not the first time the two had done it but this is different, this made her realize that no matter how much she reprimanded herself, she can't stop herself from hoping based on their action, it's hard. Because how can you not hope when they do things like this for you? How can you not when they're being so lovely in the morning? Just how can you not fall in love with them? 

Her only salvation from this was she knew her place, she knew where to stand in their life. She knew when to stop hoping, she knew when to wake up from this dream. 

She greeted them good morning and tried to calm the beating of her heart. Too afraid that they might hear it. She set aside her feelings and just enjoyed the morning with them. 

"Bacon was over cooked, the egg was too salty and the bread was burnt." Rosie said as she munched the food, teasing them. 

Joohyun glared at Jennie, "See? If you just know how to listen to my instructions then this would not happen."

"Tsk. You're just good at giving people instruction but don't even know how to do it. Be grateful that I helped your arse, Bae." Jennie spat out. 

"You're just bad at following instructions, Kim." 

"I am not." 

"Yes, you are." 

Rosie grabbed a piece of bacon and shoved it into their annoying mouths. Both girls are sending death glares to her but she just laughs it off. 

And when Rosie thinks everything is alright then she's wrong. A moment ago she's happy, laughing with them but why right now she's feeling so broken?

She was sitting in the far corner of the room, head lay down on the table, with earphones on her ears pretending that she's listening to music so they wouldn't disturb her, as she waited for their professor.

"What? Bae Joohyun and Jennie Kim are ex's? " she heard people in front of her table gasping. And Rosie felt her world stop spinning. 

What? They're ex's? How? 

Why did they hide it from her? What was the reason? 

"Yes, I just learned it from my cousin. They went to the same school when they were in their senior high school? And the two were a couple back then." 

"But why did they break up?" 

"No one knows why but maybe there's one, Km Jisoo? She's friends with them." Why did they break up? And why do they hide it? 

Rosie felt those eyes looking at her for a second. 

"Now that you've mentioned it, there's always a tension between the two. But wait.. How about Rosé?" 

"She's just a friend to them I guess?" 

"Wait.. They’re always fighting for her, picking at each other when it comes to Rosé. Maybe they're making each other jealous through Rosé?" Rosie felt the corner of her eyes burning, hearing those words stung so bad. Are they just using her? Like what these girls said. Befriending her for their own benefits? But this is Jennie and Joohyun were talking about, two silly girls, annoying but soft women, they can't be this cruel. They can't be. 

But they hide a very important thing to you, Rosie. She said to herself. You still don't know them like you've assumed. They don't trust you enough to share this kind of information with you. Rosie can feel the bitterness laced in her voice. 

"Well, yeah I agree, before she came to the picture the two already had something, people are expecting them to be a couple with the tension that the two have. But when Rosé came in everyone was disappointed because it looks like the two were after her, but knowing they have history. That's a pity for her."

"They're using her." 

"That's what she got from thinking she can be on the same level with them."

Hearing those sharp words is enough to make her bleed. Those words went straight to her heart, deep cut. The thoughts of Joohyun and Jennie using her was enough to make her feel . She felt betrayed. She felt herself drowning from sorrow. These women she loves were using her. 

Rosé couldn't focus on the lecture, she's zoning out. Her thoughts always drifted back to Joohyun and Jennie. She wants to give them the benefit of the doubt, she wants to but every time she tries those voices keep on coming back. That they're just using her. 

She wants to cry out loud but she can't do it right now, not in school, maybe later in her room, when she's alone. Because she knows every sob she'll whimper will be painful. She will cry until she feels numb. 

The moment she stepped inside the school, Rosé sighed and pretended that she's okay, pretending that she did not have any idea about their past. It's okay, she will act like her heart was not broken, it wasn't hard to be honest as it's already broken. 

Rosé discovered something new about herself. Lately she's been damn good at hiding her pain. She didn't know that she's good at acting, she even mastered the art of lying as well, not until she's in this situation. 

"Rosie, you okay?" 

"Huh?" She looked at Jennie, and found the older girl looking at her with concern. 

"You've been zoning out lately, is there a problem?" Joohyun said as she placed the food that she ordered on their table. 

Yes, sometimes Rosie finds herself spacing out, mind wandering. This feeling that she chose to keep is already taking a toll on her, draining her to bits. 

"Uhm.. Was busy and stressed about the painting, that's all." She lied, she wasn't really busy and the painting was done like weeks ago. But she didn't need to know that. 

Joohyun ruffled her hair, "Don't burnt yourself out okay? You need a break." 

"Joohyun is right, your body needs a break too, Rosie and I just know that your painting will be excellent. So don't stress yourself about it?" Rosie tried to smile a bit. She still can't believe that these two will use her, these sweet and caring girls. That's why she's still giving them the benefit of the doubt. 

And if they're really just using her, how long will they keep this charade? How long will they act like they cared about her? 

Maybe she doesn't need to wait longer as everything will unfold right before her eyes. 

She's walking her way back to the music room as she forget her notes, about to open the door when she heard a familiar voice talking inside the room. She stopped on her track. 

"This is not easy, Hyun." 

"I know, Jennie, I know. But if we want it we need to risk everything." 

"Are we ready for it, Hyun? This is not just like in the past when we were teens, Hyun you know that right?" 

"Yes, Jennie. We can make this work this time." 

As she's hearing the two talking, Rosé feels her world is about to collapse. The pain she's feeling right now is too much to handle. 

"I don't know, there's so much at stake. But God I will be damned if I will not risk it all."

"Jennie, do you still love me right? Because I do, I'd never stop loving you."

"I… I am very much in love with you, Hyun. So much."

"Then it's okay, we'll be okay."

"How about Rosé?" 

"We'll deal about her later--" 

And Rosé couldn't stand it anymore so she ran away, tears freely flowing from her eyes. She can't believe that a single person can experience multiple heart breaks from the same person, that you will be in more pain than you already are. Hearing those words from the girls she loved was enough to make her so broken beyond repair. 

And Rosé prepared herself for this situation. She already accepted that she can't be with them, so why is she still hurting? Because you love them, Roseanne. You loved them, that's why you're hurting right now. 

And why are they talking about her? Did they really use her for their own benefits? For them to realize that they still love each other, is that so? Was she just a spawn to their ploy? 

Ah, collateral damage. She's just collateral damage to their cunning game. 

She's still running away to nowhere until she bumped onto a hard surface. When she looked up, she realized that she bumped into someone, someone familiar to her. 

The person in front of Rosé was taken aback at the sight of her. Rosé muttered curses to her head when she realized how messed up she is. "Chaeyoung, what happened? Are you okay?" Rosie wiped her tears away, and had the clearer version of the person she bumped into. It's Bae Suzy, the girl who spilled coffee to her weeks ago. 

"I.." 

Suzy held her wrist, dragging her to the parking lot and led her inside of her car. When they both settled in, Suzy gripped her shoulder to make her turn sideways so she could face her. 

She saw Suzy fishing out a handkerchief to her pocket, carefully drying her tears, "I don't know what happened but a beautiful girl like you shouldn't be crying." The older girl tried to cheer her up, but only made Rosie cry harder. She's a crybaby after all. 

She lunged at Suzy, buried her face into her chest. "Unnie, it hurts so much." 

"Shh.. It's okay, Chaeyoung. Everything will be okay." Suzy consoled her. "Stop crying please, don't cry." she hears Suzy whispering to her, calming her down. They stay in that position for half an hour. When Rosie stopped crying she pulled back from the back, feeling embarrassed how she cried in front of someone she barely knew.

"I.. I'm sorry--" She stammered. 

Suzy giggles at the cute sight in front of her, "It's okay. No need to be embarrassed, at least we're even now. I ruined your shirt the first day we met, and now you wetted my shirt." The older girl teased, and Rosie felt the heat to her cheeks.

"Unnie!" 

"It's okay--" Suzy was cut off by Rosie's phone ringing. The latter peeks at the caller and sees Joohyun, upon seeing the name she feels the burning sensation in her eyes, and the constricting pain in her heart. She turned off her phone, the girl beside her was just watching her the whole time with concern. 

Rosé’s lips jutted, she's trying so hard not to cry again, it seems like Suzy read her well, "It's okay to cry, Chaeyoung. It's okay to be vulnerable sometimes. I don't have any idea what happened for you to cry this hard but I'm willing to listen if you'll let me because sometimes it's okay to let a stranger listen to you, there's no judgement in their eyes. I'm a stranger and I'm a good listener." Suzy smiled at her, reassuring her." 

"But you're no stranger, Unnie." 

"I am, right now." 

Rosé can't fathom how easy it is for her to blurted out everything to Suzy. She’s attentively listening to her. When she's stuttering and finds it hard to continue, the older girl just assured her and encouraged her to take her time to vent. 

When she's done, Suzy wiped out her tears carefully. No judgment, nothing but pure concern and understanding. 

"It's okay to be hurt especially when you give so much love. The pain is a reminder that your love is indeed real. And so what if you're in love with two it doesn't make you less of a person or your love to them. You're just a person who has so much love to give. And if they don't see you that way then it's their loss. A girl like you is hard to find these days. And if they really used you then damn them."

"But then again don't let yourself be blinded by the pain you're feeling right now. It's still better if you'll talk to them about it, and make them know your thoughts. I'm not saying that you should tell them your feelings but for you to free yourself from the thoughts that they're just using you for their sake. I know you're not just hurt because they hide things from you, or they love each other but you're afraid to know that they're pretending to be your friends, because it will break you even more rather than knowing that they're in love with one another."

"But it's still fresh, Unnie and I don't know how to confront them--" 

"Do it at your own pace. Do it when you're ready." 

"But--" 

Suzy ruffled her hair, "No buts. I'll always be here if you need someone to lean on." letting a genuine smile. 

Rosie drowned herself with her art piece and project. School, painting, eating and sleeping became her routine for almost a month. She successfully avoided her friends without them questioning her, or so she thought. Because right now she could see the least person she wants to be with, striding their way towards her with irritation etched to their pretty face.

Her hand formed fist, nails digging at her palm. Jaw clenched. Seeing them right now Rosie realized that she can't face them without getting hurt and mad. She immediately gathered her things and stood up to leave the place. 

But Joohyun beat her. She grabbed her wrist, "Where are you going, Rosie? Are you avoiding us again?" she wriggled her hand from Joohyun's hold and the latter clenched her jaw. 

"I need to go, Unnie." Rosie can taste the bitterness in her voice. Damn! 

This time it's  Jennie who questioned her, "Did we do something wrong? Why are you avoiding us like a plague?" Rosie saw the confusion on Jennie's face, how sad her voice was right now. And Rosie felt guilty. 

"Nothing, Unnie I'm just really busy." She tried to sound not to buckle up. 

"For almost a month? Not even a text or a simple hello? We've been reaching out to you but we can't reach you. We got worried because you even crossed us out from the list of your visitors at your condo. I'm so confused right now, Rosie. And I don't think we deserved this kind of treatment we're getting from you. You just cut the ties all of a sudden." the hurt in Joohyun's voice was so clear that made Rosie feel , was it her fault? They're the one who betrayed her right? But why is she the one who's feeling damn guilty right now? 

"I didn't ask for it. I didn't ask for you to be worried about me! And how dare you say that you don't deserve this treatment when I have the reason to be mad at the two of you! You ing used me for your own damn sake. How dare-"