part one: i just want to be with you, forever

[What are you doing?] her phone screen lights up with a simple text message from Yuju. She is reminded that this is the usual hour they begin their text conversations which eventually turn into phone calls that last long into the night since they last saw each other every day, before their activities had stopped, before the pandemic had gone out of hand. 

An unidentifiable ache tugs on her heart as she bites her lip while watching the screen turn off again. ShinB takes a few steady breaths. 

Without further thinking she runs out of her room, past Eunha in the living and Sowon in the kitchen, straight to the door. 

She is panting when she reaches the front door of the other GFriend dormitory.

She is about to raise her hand to press the doorbell when the door opens. She sees Yuju.

“Unnie,” her voice cracks.

“ShinB yah,” there is evident surprise and worry in her voice. “Come in,” she invites ShinB in after a while. 

ShinB sees Yerin on the phone. “Yeah, she’s here,” Yerin says. ShinB presumes that it’s Sowon. 

ShinB does not see Umji. She presumes her friend is in her room. Soon, Yerin disappears to her own bedroom too, not without a greeting smile. 

“ShinB,” Yuju sighs, frowning at the main dancer.

Yuju doesn’t say anything. There are too many things she should say, and ShinB knows them too, so she doesn’t. In the silence that envelops them, the beating hearts in each of their chests echo in their ears such that no one hears the chime of the automatic lock when the door closes. 

“I’ve missed you,” ShinB’s voice is stifled. The pain that tints her speech pierces through the silence.

“Me too,” Yuju answers, apologetically; watching ShinB’s current behaviour seems to be as excruciating as a strong foot trampling her over and pressing her down.

“Come here,” Yuju finds a gulp in and tears at the brink of her eyes. She opens her arms, to which ShinB willingly lets herself sink into Yuju’s embrace. 

Finally relishing again the warmth of Yuju’s arms, ShinB closes her eyes while her lips form a small, pained smile. She breathes, and the familiar scent of Yuju’s soft hair delights her. 

On the other hand, Yuju feels her heart swell, overwhelmed. When she blinks, the tears that stream down warm her cheeks in the cold night. She hastily brings a hand up to wipe them away without a sound before burying her face into the crook of ShinB’s neck. She runs her fingers through ShinB’s hair before gently pressing a kiss at the side of her head. “I love you,” she whispers.

“Me too,” ShinB chokes on a sob. She starts tearing up as well.

Yuju ShinB’s delicate hair as they remain in the embrace.

When they release the hug, they laugh at each other upon meeting their glances, for the tears in their eyes, whose reasons no one inquires about. Warmth spreads in their hearts in gratitude for having each other. 

“Do you want to-”

“Tonight can I-”

They stop when they realise that they’ve both spoken. They laugh again, amused, and even more when they realise that their intention is the same. ShinB finds it intriguing— enchanting even— how synchronised their minds are. Years ago she had really desired to understand what goes on in the head of the older girl; today half a sentence is all she needs to know her intention. ShinB lowers her head slightly as she beams.

“I’m glad you want to,” Yuju smiles.

“I’m glad you want me to,” ShinB’s reply seems to be slightly withdrawn.

“I missed you terribly," Yuju reasons.

“Me too,” ShinB says. I’ve missed your warmth and your touch so much, she doesn't say.

“Come here again,” Yuju says as she wraps her arms around ShinB, not resisting her urge for another embrace. She has missed having the little one in her arms, and nothing seems to suffice to make up for the time she could not have that. 

ShinB tightly hugs Yuju’s thin body, wishing she doesn’t ever need to let go. She feels against herself the thumping of Yuju’s heart, telling her with such matchless clarity that this is just where she wants to be, for Yuju is all she needs.

a/n: remember the quarantine when we were separated from people we really wanted to see? ah, and the pandemic still seems to be difficult in so many places. i hope you guys stay safe