"Oh get a ing grip, Jungkook!" I yell at the top of my lungs into the dense, empty air of the soccer field. I look across to Jungkook, who's on the verge of yanking out a part of his fringe, and rightfully so. It's comedic to even think that to the days leading up to this moment, I have been infatuated by this guy, butterflies taking flight even at the thought of him.

And now, I think I want to kill him.

"You get a ing grip! You suggesting Namjoon to be a defender is absolutely absurd. It's too far in the season to be rearranging people around. I'd think by your quote-on-quote vast knowledge being on these different league teams, you'd know such!"

"Excuse me," I scoff at Jungkook's audacity. "It's not a groundbreaking thing to simply suggest however we see fit. Namjoon's physically bigger than the defenders we have now, his height for sure will create a barrier for the other team to score. Look how ing long his legs go on for - he's perfect for setting up outlet passes! Don't you ing dare disrespect me and my experience like that again!"

Jungkook starts laughing now like a maniac. "Disrespecting... you think I'm disrespecting you. Of course, you'd take it that way. Maybe if you actually start listening to the words that are coming out of my mouth, you'd know that I am disagreeing, not disrespecting!"

"You're disagreeing with disrespect!" I yelp. "You're not even allowing me to have a civil conversation with you about how to make this team better. Is that what you want to do? Inhibit this team from being better?!"

"I am not disrespecting you! I've been the captain on this team since I got here, I think I know a thing or two about wanting to make this team better."

I roll my eyes to the right while in my teeth to hide my utter disgust. I am about to gouge this man's eyes out.

"Guys! What is the matter with the both of you, holy !" Namjoon, the very person we're arguing about, steps in, seconds before I think I'm going to take a whack at Jungkook's forehead. "You guys have been arguing about this all practice. Just put it to ing rest, jesus."

"She started it!" Jungkook points his fingers to me like we're toddlers at a day-care. What are we, five years old?!

"No, you started it!" I react without even thinking. If he's five, then I'm five, too. "Just because you're captain doesn't mean you get to make any and all decisions. You can still receive feedback from the team, you know?!"

"Yes, and I'm open to everyone's opinions," Jungkook breathes out. "But in this case, your opinion is just a really bad one."

"Oh, you, Jungkook!" I spit out while pushing myself further from his presence. This is the first time being on this team that I'm actually this livid. Trust, I've gotten to this point before with my previous teams. On the LK Women's League, I got in such a scuffle with this one unhinged (but undeniably talented) midfielder over her feet placement to better anticipate jukes and feints. She had her ego so scorched that the actually pounced on me like a jaguar and scratched me across the face with her coffin-styled nails; a mark of four parallel lines stayed across my cheeks for about 3 weeks. I did my share in fighting back in pulling her ponytail towards me, dragging her body with her, and... I don't remember much after that. Petty move, I know, but at least her physical body stayed intact.

But I learned from that that I shouldn't resort to violence; plus, I would only hope that Jungkook wouldn't act like some lion catching its prey.

"Whatever, dude," Jungkook huffs out in defeat. "I don't approve of your idea, and that's final."

"Alright then, you could've told me directly, instead of making me feel like an absolute dip for speaking up!"

"I literally ing did that!" Jungkook shouts, and Namjoon has had enough and pulls himself in between the middle of us.

"That's enough!" Namjoon's voice is deep and stern.. and it's one neither Jungkook or I want to talk back to. "You both need to cool off, take a seat on the bench or something, but the rest of us can't get along with practice if you two keep barking at each other."

"I'm stepping away," Jungkook mutters.

"Well, maybe, I want to step away first!" I yelp; it's petty, but right now, I could not care less. "I'm going on the right bench."

"And I'm going on the left bench!" Jungkook says right behind me, following my childish antics.

As I tread back to the lonesome wooden bench, I only feel rage in my body. The nerve of this guy... It's despicable! My ideas are good, they're great even! For him to shrug it off like it's not such is baffling. Maybe I have a stick too far up my , but it's not crazy for me to expect to be heard by my own captain. I move my attention to my left, and see Jungkook with his head between his legs, thumbs on his temple. I get fired up even more; I'm the reason he looks so stressed? Please!

"You feeling okay?" Jimin comes up to me and taps me on my leg. "You looked pretty fired up out there."

"No, I'm not ing okay. Would you be okay if Jungkook talked to you like that?"

"Jungkook does talk to me like that. All of us. Everyday, actually." Jimin laughs. "Guess it's the first time he's done that to you individually?"

"It's degrading! It's.... demeaning! I don't want to see his face right now," I roll my eyes. "How do you guys even look at him again when he talks to you this way?"

"You just deal with it. I don't have to tell you that sometimes captains are s... but they just want what's best for the team."

"And you don't think I want what's best of the team? That's why I made that suggestion in the first place. What, you think I just pulled some completely random idea out of my just because I want to hurt the team?," I scoff. Is no one on my side here?!

"Don't worry. I know that's what you want. I just wanted to assure you that you're both on the same side here - wanting what's best. So it's really not worth bickering back and forth."

"Fine," I sigh out. I take another look to Jungkook, and fortunately, I feel more relaxed taking a glance at him than I did before. Before this unexpected disagreement, I had been thinking about my "date" with Jungkook all day. I was already imagining us baking chocolate chip cookies, wearing our aprons, dirtied by flour and brown sugar. The romantic movie would play on in the background, Jungkook would be focused on a scene, then look back to me... and suddenly realize I'm everything he's ever wanted!

And the record abruptly stops there. Because now this is reality, and Jungkook probably wants nothing to do with me. I shrug my shoulders, take a swig out of my Gaterade bottle, and stomp back towards the field - just eager to play some ing soccer, but reluctant knowing that my crush probably hates my guts right now.

When I'm back at home, I prepare all the ingredients on top of my limited kitchen counter space. There's five different bags of flour, brown sugar, a dozen eggs all delicately placed within a bowl, and a whole bunch of other sticky, delectable items to make dessert. Today's menu is white chocolate and matcha cookies. I look up at my living room's clock from straight ahead and its the long handle is nearing the 6, meaning it's 7:30. I told Jungkook 7 - so it's honestly looking like I'm getting stood up. In my own home.

Defeated, I go ahead and start prepping on my own. I take an egg in one hand, tap it furiously on the counter (pretending it's Jungkook's head), and crack into a bowl in one go. As I continue on in the steps, my thoughts casually drift off into the recipe itself, distracting myself that my crush is never coming. I turn on the movie we were supposed to watch and take small glimpses of it when the recipe doesn't require too much attention. It's lighthearted, cute, and honestly a great feel-good movie for just one's solitude. I'm actually not having a terrible time.

As I try my best to focus on the plot of the movie, which objectively is very predictable anyways, I can't help but wonder if I'll get anything from Jungkook. A text that he's sorry.. a phone call asking if we could talk through what happened. Hell, even a reply on my literarture discussion post online - anything! Sure, I'm so very mad at him right now... but I still like the dude. As much as I want to slap him across the right cheek and relish in getting the final say, I also want to plant a kiss on the same cheek and wish that he'll finally ask me out. Does that make sense?

It's not even worth dwelling on it. I take a deep sigh out and go on my phone to check my Instagram, when suddenly I get a banner notification that makes my heart drop to my knees. Jungkook just texted me if he could come over and talk. Right away, I coolly reply "sounds good", to which he says he'll be on the way soon.

I wait and wait in pure anxiety. I start counting sheep just to calm my nerves, and when I'm on five-hundred-something, that is when I hear the door bell ring.

"Hey," I just say, once I swing upon the front door. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem, I thought it would be... healthy. For us to hash out whatever happened there. Can I come in?"

I nod and delicately open the door just a bit more. Once he passes me to enter, I get a whiff of his smooth, dark oak scent that it is a complete 180 flip from the sweaty odors we both had just a few hours ago in practice. I get a little giddy at the thought that he showered just for this (for me?) but then I get a grip and realize that literally any normal person would shower after a sweaty practice.

Jungkook notices the movie playing in the living room TV, and it's a scene where the girl is doing a complete transf