Sooyoung

It was a rule among the members that no one should enter each other's room unless the owner is present or someone asked for a permission. That's why when Sooyoung entered her room, it was still the same as she left it. Her pillows and blankets are scattered all over the room, the bottles of her skin care products fell down from the vanity table, and some of the pictures on her photo wall that got detached and can be found on the floor. Her room is quite a mess because the last time she was there, it was the day the company asked for a meeting about the group's future activities which made Sooyoung's blood boil and start throwing her pillows around the room because Sooyoung felt that it was very disrecpectful for her Wendy unnie and for the rest of the members when they didn't even bother to wait for more days before talking about such things.

Sooyoung sighed as she picked up all the pillows and blanket fixing it neatly on her bed then proceeds to arrange her vanity table wiping some splattered products that spilled when the pillow she threw toppled the bottles all over.

After it was done, she sat down on the floor where the photos that fell from her wall can be found and gathered it all infront of her. There are different photos; pictures from the hiking trip with her family, the graduation of her sister, haetnim being all cute, close friends from the industry, friends from home that she haven't seen for a long time, and photos with her members from their concerts, MV shootings, and their everyday life.

Sooyoung was looking at all of it one-by-one when she paused at a certain picture, a photo of her and Seungwan during the "Psycho" MV shoot. Her eyes starts to blur again staring at how her Wendy unnie had her arms wrapped around her and giving her a kiss. Sooyoung loved that photo, she got it printed and even posted it on her Instagram story when she missed Seungwan when she was not there during their concert tour.

Staring at the silghtly damp photo on her hand, her heart felt heavier as she remembers all of her unnie's hardwork, effort, and sacrifices just to get back together with them after her accident, just to appear in front of everyone in a healthy state, and to sing & perform for their luvies once again. Thinking that her Wendy unnie won't be able to do the things that she work so hard for, break Sooyoung's heart even more.

How unfair...

~

February 17, 2020 - 9:03 am

The laughter of Sooyoung filled the hospital room as she pay attention to the movie she and Seungwan decided to watch together during her visit. Having already seen that film, Seungwan was rather more amused at Sooyoung laughing and enjoying her time. She looked at her side and smiled remembering that as soon as Sooyoung came and placed a chair beside her hospital bed to spend time with her, the younger girl initiated that they hold hands and until now none of them bother to let go. 

Seungwan didn’t notice that she might have stared at Sooyoung for a while already until the girl looked back at her

“Is there something wrong unnie?” 

“Oh, nothing.” Seungwan shakes her head.

“Come on, unnie. You thought I didn’t notice? You keep looking at me from time to time. What’s wrong?” Sooyoung grabbed the remote and paused the movie turning all of her attention at Seungwan

“Nothing I’m just really happy you visited but at the same time I’m thinking that you should spend your day-off well by doing things that you want. It’s not everyday that you don’t have any schedule, you know? You should go home Sooyoung, besides I’m being discharged in a few days already.” Seungwan told Sooyoung patting her shoulder with her other hand. 

With furrowed brows and a pout Sooyoung removed her hands on Seungwan and laid back on her chair, glaring at her jokingly “Don’t you want me here?” 

“You know that’s not true” Seungwan winked at her. 

“But seriously unnie, don’t worry about me because I really want to go here. This is what I want to do in my free time so don’t think about it anymore. Also, I won’t get to see you at your birthday on Friday, so just think of my visit as a birthday greeting from me, okay?” Sooyoung said resting her head on the bed while still looking at Seungwan’s eyes.

The older girl didn’t answer at what Sooyoung said instead she just smiled at her and took the remote resuming the movie.

Seungwan didn’t say anything but she really appreciates what she heard from Sooyoung. Despite their busy schedule the members always find the time to visit Seungwan and that never fails to warm girl’s heart.

Watching the movie this time, It was now Seungwan who turned to look at Sooyoung when the girl sat up straight calling her with a serious face all of a sudden

“Unnie..”

“Hmm?” 

Sooyoung paused for a while and exhaled deeply before continuing,

“Are you really not going to change your mind about filing a case?”

Seungwan knew just from the look of Sooyoung earlier that this is what she’s going to bring up. 

“I think you already know my answer Sooyoung. My decision is still the same, I won’t file a lawsuit” Seungwan said along with a small smile.

“But why? Even though the company doesn’t really care, they said that they will leave the decision to you if you want to or not. Also, Irene unnie said that she’ll find the best lawyer there is if you decided to proceed with it. Not to mention, everyone even our luvies are agreeing that a lawsuit should be filed against that stupid station.” 

Sooyoung rolled her eyes just thinking about the company that caused Seungwan to be in the place where they are right now. 

With her face flushed and nostrils flaring, Sooyoung continued ranting.

“It’s not like we’re asking them to close the station, even though it was well-deserved. And we’re not asking for any compensation for their carelessness either. We just want them to acknowledge their mistake and take responsibility for it to never happen again. Ugh! It shouldn’t happen in the first place! It shouldn’t happen to anyone, and that shouldn’t happen to you. You have all the right to complain unnie, that’s why I keep on asking for you to reconsider your decision. I just can’t accept that while you’re in here, those people that should be responsible might not even feel a single guilt on their bones, and they didn’t even apologized to you sincerely, such s!.” 

Even though Sooyoung was obviously frustrated right now, Seungwan was just staring at her member with admiration in her eyes. She had alwasy been a fan of Sooyoung, not only because of her talent and charisma on stage, but it's all due to Sooyoung's personality and the person that she is. Sooyoung was honest and true to herself, she doesn't let the pressure of being seen by the whole world to change herself into someone she's not. She speaks what's on her mind truthfully and accepts everything about herself even her own weaknesses that she sees as an opportunity to learn and be better. And right now, Seungwan was just amazed listening at everything Sooyoung was saying and felt proud knowing that Sooyoung grew up to be the person who speaks so wisely, always wanting the right thing to happen, and fighting for what she believe is right without thinking of what other people might say. She met Sooyoung when the girl was just 17 and being together almost all the time, Seungwan didn't even notice how much her precious dongsaeng is all grown up now. 

"When did you get all so grown up, Dooyoungie~" Seungwan cooed at Sooyoung while ruffling the girl's hair.

"Ugh unnie! Are you even listening to me?" Sooyoung groaned as she starts to get annoyed at Seungwan who changed the topic so easily, while running her hands through her hair fixing it. 

Ignoring the glares Sooyoung was giving at her, Seungwan gave her a smile and told the girl her side which she already heard a lot of times. 

"I do listen and I already explained my reason a lot of times, but I'll tell you again since you asked me one more time. My decision stays the same Sooyoung, because filing a complaint takes time. It will require meeting with a lot of people and negotiating when I could use all that time to start getting better, you know? I really want to focus on recovering as soon as I could because the earlier I get to do that, the sooner I'll get back in front of our luvies that's been patiently waiting and together with the four of you on stage. Even if they didn't apologize properly, It doesn't matter to me and I really don't see the point in filing a case anymore because I really want to save and put all my energy in getting better, to start my rehab schedule, to practice singing and performing. Our luvies have been hurt also when this--- happened. And seeing the four of you get so tired too makes me feel bad. I just want to appear infront of everyone in the best condition I could be to make their wait worthwhile... I want to work hard now so that I would be back as soon as possible to give back the same love and support everyone have given me. I just don't want to waste any more time, Sooyoung." 
 

Still looking at each other in the eyes, Sooyoung saw how serious and determined her unnie was in saying all of this. She had heard this explanation many times already but everytime she hear it from Seungwan, her heart sinks in both sadness and frustration. Sadness because her unnie was too selfless to think of herself. She doesn't deserve any of this, yet due to other people's carelessness she wasn't able to do the things that she loves. Frustration because the station that caused all this won't receive what they truly deserve because her unnie was too kind, too kind to easily let the company who should be accountable for everything that happnened go. But even though this frustrates her, she won't wish for her unnie to change because that's who she is, her Wendy unnie that is kind and selfless. 

Cutting off their eye contact, Sooyoung turned her gaze in the floor and sighed, "Will you just tell me that you will still atleast think about it?" 

Sooyoung paused for a while and continued but this time in a mumble, "Even if I know you won't anyway..."

She laughs at Sooyoung side remarks to her own words and intertwined her hand on her once again, “Okay this time I’ll think about it for real since you asked me probably for a hundredth time already”

“Really?” Sooyoung ask her with widened eyes and Seungwan nodded. 

“If that’s the case then I think I should keep on asking you for a couple more and tell the members to do so as well to finally convince you to agree with us, stubborn unnie.” Sooyoung continued before resting her head again on top of their intertwined hands and focused again all her attention on the movie.

Smiling, she just shook her head lighty at the girl's remark as she stared lovingly at Sooyoung beside her. Even though they may disagree at some things and the younger girl raised her voice at some point, Seungwan knew that it was all because of Sooyoung’s own way of being worried, concern, and care for her. Indeed, everyone have difference in showing their own way of loving. 

Feeling so grateful of Sooyoung being there, Seungwan smiled as she stares at the younger girl and bend a little placing a kiss on top of Sooyoung’s head, caressing it after.

Our soft-hearted Sooyoungie...

~

It was indeed unfair, It angers and saddens Sooyoung thinking that the world have been so cruel to her unnie. Seungwan never took anything for granted, She worked so hard for everything that she does, but this happened to her. Sooyoung wants to get mad, she wants to direct her anger at the world for taking the life of her unnie so early when she could have been living her life doing everything things that she loves. But deep down even though it was short-lived and deserves so much more, she knew Seungwan’s life wasn’t in vain.

It was because Seungwan lived her life well, despite the tough days that came on her way, she would always face it with a positive mind. Seungwan never failed to be kind and to think of other people despite not getting the same treatment for herself. She brought happiness not just to their fans but the people that surrounds her as well. Since the day Sooyoung met her, her unnie have always been a good person that supported her no matter what she does and was always by her side.

Holding the photo close in her chest, Sooyoung calmed her cries down by breathing deepy and slowly. She wiped the tears on her eyes before reaching for her phone. Words are not enough to describe how much Sooyoung misses her unnie, and even though there are no longer a chance that Seungwan would ever read everything what she's going to say, that still doesn't stop Sooyoung to tell the world what kind of a person her unnie is and how blessed she was having a person like her Wendy unnie in her life.

_imyour_joy

For the person who always says that she's my biggest fan,

Having an unnie like her have been a blessing in my life, I don't know what I did why she have been so good to me since day 1 but I'll always be grateful that I met and had Wendy unnie by my side. Many people have already known how amazing of a person unnie is, but all of those words can't even describe all the things that she did for us and for other people. 

Our Seungwan unnie was full of love and care, she always make the people around her feel loved by her actions. Unnie easily get shy saying sweet and lovely words but the things that she do always showed how she truly feels for us. She is so caring beyond words, always putting everyone else before herself to the point that it gets frustrating at time because she often neglects her own self just for other people, but that's just how Wendy unnie is. 

Wendy unnie have always been by my side and always supported me. All those things that she says on broadcast regarding that she's my fan, friend, and member, are all true. She have always been there not just for me but for all the members too. I'm grateful, I'm grateful to have been loved and cared for by Wendy unnie.

I miss your smile, I miss your laughter, I miss hearing you sing, I miss the food that you cook and prepare for us, I miss how you hype and gushed over the simplest thing that me and the members do. I miss you embarassing us with your greasiness, I miss you making us laugh, I miss spending time with you. 

I miss you, unnie.

_imyour_joy

Thank you for everything and I love you Wendy unnie.

_imyour_joy

You will always be my angel, 

Forever.