I don't know why I came here. I honestly don't even belong here. This place is filled with so many model-esque people, rich high-class people who are carefree, people who don't understand what it is like to be invisible. People who don't truly know pain. They're all drunk and high anyway. Their cups filled to the brim with tequila and their eyes red and watery from weed. We aren't even supposed to have weed. How did I even let myself get here? I have tests to study for and homework to do. I shouldn't be here. 

I let Hye-jin drag me to this elitist college party. I should have told her I didn't feel good. I should have told her I had homework to do. I should have told her anything else besides "okay." But when she gives me those puppy eyes with pouty lips to match, I can't find myself saying no. It's impossible to say no to Hye-jin, she's a stubborn leo and she rules everything like a queen. 

I've been friends with Ahn Hye-jin for about 12 years now. Our whole friendship based off the fact she gets me out of my comfort zone. We met when we were both 10. I was the shy new girl and she was the popular outgoing girl. She decided that we were going to friends on my fifth day of eating alone. I didn't really know what to say at the time. I don't think I said anything, I think I just went along with her babbling, my heart feeling heavy because I didn't have anyone.

My mother had just escaped my abusive father and we left everything behind. I was living with my mother and grandma in a foreign place. The small amount of friends I had, were no longer in my life. I went from living in the city to living in the countryside. I didn't know quite how to adjust. I was so young and scared, worried that my mom and I would fall apart. 

Hye-jin was a beacon of hope for me. She slowly took me out of my comfort zone and soon she found out my love in art and music. She had a love for music as well so we bonded by singing in her bedroom and listening to the latest pop hits. While she would dance around, I would happily sketch in my sketchbook and belt out notes with her. The world felt comfortable and safe inside of Hye-jin's home. Her parents treating me as if I was their own. I was grateful for them and I was grateful for Hye-jin. She took me away from the sadness in my young life and made me feel alive. She was able to take my mind off of my father and the fact I had to leave my couple of close friends behind. 

Hye-jin was my happiness for awhile. I managed to get through elementary school with her and middle school. We were attached at the hip and we always remained close.

Once high school came, things changed a bit for the both of us. She was brave enough to tryout for choir so she was busy with that. I had joined the art club so I was busy with that. We ended up seeing each other less and less. My anxiety and depression creeping back in as I spent my days away from her. She was seemingly okay since she made friends so easily. I lost my beacon of hope and it made me feel anxious. I was doomed to go back down the path of depression. Something I experience so easily at the age of 10. 

I did have other comforts besides Hye-jin. I had my art, music, and my cat, Ggomo. He was there to offer me warm cuddles at night. His playful nature keeping me afloat. I was so scared of losing Hye-jin to other people, that I decided to join choir with her. It was completely out of my comfort zone.

Being on stage and singing in front of an audience. I didn't like the fact that so many people were watching me. It was especially hard since I was put in the front of the choir due to my short stature and my vocal capabilites. Hye-jin had stood about three people away from me, so I didn't have the comfort of her being right next to me. I somehow managed to surive grades 9 through 11.

Senior year being the year that basically wrecked me. My grandma had fallen ill, she was moved from our home and into a hospital. It was kidney failure, it seemingly came out of nowhere. I started to question the world and why my grandma had to go through something so painful. I didn't learn until after she passed that her kidney failure came from years of hidden drinking. I had felt angry that I was just learning that my grandma was an alcoholic. It made me scared for my mother and made me treat her like a child.

The simple thought of alcohol turned me off. I avoided it like the plague and Hye-jin made sure to not drink around me. We graduated high school together and I skipped out on the afterparties. I knew there would be drinking and drugs. Two things I refuse to look at. 

That's why I am so frustrated being here at this party. This party with people who didn't give two s about me or Hye-jin. I had tried my best to convince Hye-jin to skip out on this party. We didn't need to get drunk and high with a bunch of strangers. I don't even know what or who this party is for. I had so much homework to do back in my dorm, yet I am here. Here because I can't say no to Hye-jin and because I always follow her like a puppy. 

Even now in this stupid sequine dress, I am clinging to Hye-jin's arm. She has a red solo cup in her hand and she's drinking away like a fish. We are standing in a semi-circle with this goregous girl named Joo-hyun. Joo-hyun is like a rich chaebol queen bee. She has two little 'yes girls' by her side. I can tell Joo-hyun doesn't really like Hye-jin. Her smile is so fake and her laughter is so heartless. She was probably only giving Hye-jin attention to make her another one of her 'yes girls'. Hye-jin can do way better than this but her sense of judgement is impaired by the tequila in her cup. I think I should just pull her away from Joo-hyun and find a quiet corner for us to chill in.

"Whee-in-ah, do you mind getting us more drinks?" Joo-hyun asks me.

My face heats up from the sudden attention. I know that if I say no, then I will ostracized. No one can say no to the queen bee, Joo-hyun. Also, she is older than me so I would look really bad if I said no. I am hesitant to leave Hye-jin's side though, especially as Joo-hyun grabbed onto her other arm. My grip on Hye-jin's arm is loosened as she laughs at something one of the 'yes girls' says. 

"S-sure." I stammer.

I slowly walk away from Hye-jin. Her smile is so stunning and it looks like she's having fun. I wish that I could simply drink and have fun with her. I should just cut loose and pretend I am one of the elites tonight. I should pretend that Joo-hyun gives a about us and laugh like an idiot. 

I make my way through people in the party. My legs feeling wobbly as I tried to balance in these heels. Hye-jin had forced me to wear a pair of her pumps, her arguement being that no one wears converse to these types of parties. I wish I would have brought my converse anyway. My feet hurt and I look like a stumbling toddler as I try to make it to the bar. I don't even know what Joo-hyun wanted to drink. I turn my head back to look at Hye-jin and Joo-hyun, they're still in the same spot. I look at the bartender, who looks at me with expectant eyes. 

"I... I need whatever Joo-hyun had." 

The bartender simply nods his head. I guess he knew what Joo-hyun liked to drink. I soon had a red solo cup in my hand. The alcohol filling up my nose with its powerful aroma. What even is this? It probably tastes like drinking death itself. I turn away from the bar and slowly head back towards Hye-jin and Joo-hyun. My palms are sweating and my legs are still wobbly. My heartbeat is loud in my ears which is mixing with the bass of the music. Only a few more steps and I will be back in the comforts of Hye-jin. 

I ram full on into someone, the cup slipping from my sweaty hands. I find myself falling on my , my face red from the sudden attention from people around us. I hear laughter and the front of my dress is wet. I can't even bring myself to look at who I ran into. My eyes stinging with tears as a string of curses are thrown my way.

"Yah! You ing clumsy . Watch where you're going. Who even are you?" The voice says.

I quickly push myself from the ground and turn away. This is so humilating. I should have just told Joo-hyun "no", why did I agree to grabbing a drink for her? I don't know where I am quite going as I push through bodies. A wave of perfume, colognes, alcohol, and weed filling up my nose. I can hear more curses being thrown my way. 

"!"

"What the hell idiot?!" 

"Who is this clumsy hoe?!" 

I ignore all the voices as I make a beeline for the front door. My hand grips onto the knob and I swing it open. I stumble out of the lavish house and into the cool night's air. I double over to catch my breath. My anxiety is on full 100. My heart is hammering so hard, that it hurts. I take a few deep breaths and stand up straight. The breeze from the night washing over my hot red face. I should probably go back in and get back to Hye-jin. I shouldn't just be out here alone and in the open. 

Except I'm not alone. There's this mysterious girl leaning back against the wall of the house. She has a cigarette between his lips, her purple hair hiding beneath a cap. She is wearing combat boots with army styled pants with a black t-shirt and chains. She doesn't notice me as she scrolls through her phone, her lips exhaling the smoke from her cigarette. I am glad she doesn't notice me. She probably will cuss at me as well. 

 I slowly stumble down the three stairs that lead up to the porch we're standing on. My face grows hot once again, I literally just tripped in front of a hot stranger. She will probably laugh at me. 

"Are you buzzed?" She asks me. 

I turn my head to look at her. My ing stumbling probably gave her the impression I am drunk, "N-no... I just don't know how to walk in these stupid things." I look down at the black pumps on my feet then her purple hair, her right eyebrow shaved a bit- creating a slit which has an eyebrow stud, she has delicate yet slight sharp features, her face being slim with slightly round cheeks. I can't help but notice the multiple rings on her fingers. My god- her hands are gorgeous.

I flinch because it's obvious I've been staring too long, "You don't seem to belong either." 

Her fashion is quite different from everyone else's. Even I managed to conform by wearing a sequined silver dress and heels. I take a deep breath of air as we stand in silence. The cool breeze from the night blow over my exposed neck and legs. I shiver a bit and look away from her. She doesn't say anything to me and now it's awkward. I should have just ignored her. I'm not good at making friends anyway. 

I can hear her move. I glance back at her, she is in the middle of putting the cigarette out. Her foot squishing the lightened stick into a pulp. She then tucks her hands in the pockets of her pants. She looks at me and I feel my heart lurch. How can someone be this handsome and cool? She has this energy about her that seemingly says she doesn't care.  Why is she even here? She definitely doesn't seem like the elitist type. 

"See you around, pretty." 

I watch as she opens the front door and vanishes back into the party. My face red hot from her words. Her voice is this soft deep tenor, something you don't commonly hear from a woman. It's refreshing and now I find myself heading back into the party. My body radiating with excitement as I go to look for Hye-jin. I have to tell her about this mystery girl with the purple hair. I have to see if Hye-jin knows who she is and what she does. 

I move through the sea of people once again, trying to get back to where she was with Joo-hyun. I pause, my heart racing as I realize they aren't there anymore. Instead it's a group of boys who are passing around a joint and drinking up alcohol. I quickly turn away from them and stumble off a bit. My body freezing as I feel a strong hand gripping me above the elbow. I am like a deer caught in headlights as someone says my name.

"Jung Whee-in?" The voice asks.

I turn around my eyes meeting Kwon Min-seok. Min-seok is in a couple of my classes. We are both art majors, our styles pretty similar. I'm not friends with him, but we did occasionally talk about art with each other. We even once went on a group date to the museum. I didn't talk once during that outing, but he was very comfortable talking to me. I feel myself calming down since it wasn't just some random guy grabbing me.

"Hey... Have you seen H-hye-jin?" I say. 

He gives me this warm smile that calms me down, "No, I can help you look for her if you want?" 

I nibble on the inside of my cheek. I do want to find Hye-jin. It is in strict girl code to stick together at parties, along with leaving with the person you came with. I wouldn't be able to sleep comfortably if I just left Hye-jin on her lonesome. Even though she is hanging out with Joo-hyun's crowd, I don't trust the Queen Bee to make sure Hye-jin is kept safe. I will be comfortable with having Min-seok search for Hye-jin with me. 

"Yes." I say.

We are now holding hands and he is walking through the party with me. My eyes are on the prowl for Hye-jin, my heart thumping with anxiety. I don't have my phone on me. Earlier I gave Hye-jin the clutch purse we are sharing for the night. My phone is inside of that bag. Min-seok and I cover all the ground of the first floor, no Hye-jin in sight. I try not to panic as he offers checking down in the basement or upstairs. I hesitantly agree to check upstairs with Min-seok. I follow him up the stairs, our eyes catching sight of a few people making out in the long hallway.

"Wow." I mumble as I follow Min-seok down the long hall. My eyes peer into the open rooms which were filled with 3 to 6 peop