Fingers drumming on his journal, Ilwoo waits for his manager to arrive to take him back to the dorm. He’d offered to take a bus or taxi, but Woojin insisted since he was in the area after a meeting with Coterie’s manager, Hosung. Gayoung had gone back to her own dorm already. He wishes her all the luck. He really hopes they work it out. Seeing a distressed Gayoung isnt something Ilwoo never wants to see again. Not that he ever liked seeing anyone in distress, but Gayoung like that just hit a little differently. Kaiden used to he had soft spot for the damsels in distress. It’s entirely untrue, of course.

Looking at his journal again, Ilwoo is very thankful she didn’t get to the page with the little heart he doodled a while back. Or he assumes she didn’t based on her upbeat demeanor about the whole thing. That would have ruined everything. Ilwoo really should rip it out and shred it, pretend it doesn’t exist. He never has the figurative heart to rip up the literal paper heart there though. He’s far too sentimental.

“Ilwoo!” Woojin calls from nearby. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice their manager had pulled up, “come on!”

Woojin always seemed happy, even when they were training together back in the earlier days. Everyone expected THE Miyeon’s brother to be some monster trainee (that title used to be given to Jaeseok usually until the day after Gun arrived), but he was clumsy and friendly. All the younger trainees, Ilwoo included, liked Woojin.

But Ilwoo knew. Woojin knew. Heck, probably everyone else in the training room knew: Woojin wasn’t an idol. “Just not made for it,” is how Woojin told them when he left to go complete his military service. That didn’t stop him from returning and still being the guy they all liked, just in a different capacity. Still, had Woojin stuck it out along with some of the older trainees, Ilwoo sometimes wondered if he would have debuted with him and been the maknae or similar.

“Sorry for making you do this.”

“Don’t apologize! It’s my job as your manager and hyung!” He responds to Ilwoo cheerfully, “Are you hungry? Jaeseok made some food, but there’s no telling if there’s any left by now. I can probably order something or pick you up some salad or-”

“If not, there’s kimchi and eggs at home. I’ll be fine, hyung. Save your money.”

“If you say so,” Woojin comments skeptically, but doesn’t push it further, “I’m just glad I was still around to pick you up. You may not mind the bus, but Yongsun would have my hide if she found out.”

“What kept you? You’re usually home by now, right?” Ilwoo checks the time and confirms his suspicions, “lot of extra work?”

“Nah, nothing like that. I actually ran into Hosung,” right, that was Coterie’s manager, “He was in a really bad mood and I dragged him out with me to the pop-up bar down the road to relax a bit. We had a drink, don’t worry, we shared one bottle and I barely had any, and, oh man, I shouldn’t tell you this, but,” ah, Woojin never being able to keep a secret for too long as usual it seems, “apparently there was a big fight with the girls. Whatever it was, Hosung was upset. He’s always a little cranky, but something was bothering him. That quiet, simmering kind beneath the surface. He didn’t tell me anything in detail, of course, but whatever they did really, really struck a nerve with him.”

They were well underway to their destination as Woojin sighs about not knowing everything and feeling left out. He was mostly joking, but Woojin liked having friends. Reminded Ilwoo of a puppy trying to make friends with a cat whenever they talked about his attempts of befriending Hosung.

“Gayoung did mention him giving them a lecture after what happened,” Ilwoo recalls absentmindedly, “sounded like group dynamics.”

“Gayoung?”

“Yeah, she was actually in the room with me about ten minutes ago.”

“...you guys know that you shouldn’t-”

“I know we’re not supposed to meet with them. Yongsun-noona’s orders. I didn’t go looking for her: she happened to see me and we talked. That’s it,” he leaves out the notebook, “nothing happened for noona to be worried about. We just talked,” among many things Ilwoo realized upon debut he had no choice or power in, this particular directive was one of the most ridiculous, “we’ve trained together, some of us went to school together. Just because we debuted shouldn’t mean I just stop being friends with someone,” Ilwoo huffs as he feels his irritation continue to rise, “and even if something were to happen, our relationships should be our business,” Ilwoo frowns at his own reflection in the car window, feeling some of the tension leave him after his rant. He slowly relaxes the tight grip he had on his journal he hadn’t even realized he had. They have to hide so much of everything...

Then Woojin laughs and Ilwoo feels him shove his shoulder slightly.

“That’s first time I’ve ever heard you say anything remotely negative about what the company does.”

“Um, sorry…”

“It’s okay. You’re secret is safe with me,” Woojin winks at him, “being an idol is hard, and I don’t think your fans give you enough credit in that department. You all are doing far better than I would have. The spotlight isn’t my idea of fun.” They fall silent after that. They should be arriving soon based on the turn they just took. Woojin clears his throat, getting Ilwoo’s attention again.

“...how was she? Was...everything okay?”

“Sad. A bit contrite,” Ilwoo watches Woojin’s face turn pensive for the briefest of moments, “Gayoung really reminds me of Jaeseok sometimes. Have you ever noticed that? Stubborn equally when it does and doesn’t matter. No wonder they’re friends with arguments.”

“Don’t compare Gayoung to Jaeseok,” Woojin scoffs, “Jaeseok can be an immature punk when he gets upset. Gayoung...well, anyhow, why would I have noticed?”

“We’ve all known each other a while. You’ve even trained with us, Gayoung too-”

“Idon’tnoticeherokay?” his manager stammers out a little too quickly. Ilwoo shuts his mouth, “That didn’t come out right. Sorry. I meant…I don’t know what I meant. But I don’t know the girls all that well. Sorry. I really just meant by asking because Hosung-hyung seemed so upset so if I wondered if Gayoung was also upset. Which is fine if she is. There was a fight. She should be upset! I’d be upset. But this isn’t about her specifically, but you just happened to talk to her so she came to mind.”

“Sure, hyung,” Ilwoo just nods as Woojin’s blathering finally tapers off. Their manager tended to talk a lot when he was frustrated. Everything felt so normal until he mentioned Gayoung. He’d seen other trainees get that way around Gayoung in the past. He used to feel awkward talking to her when he first joined Circle Media. Who wouldn’t? She was near perfection in so many ways. So, Ilwoo wonders-

“Ah! Hyung! You missed the turn!”

“CRAP!”

There was an early schedule in the morning Woojin reminded him as Ilwoo left his car. Woojin often stayed with them in the dorms, but he was apparently not planning on it this evening. Kaiden is going to be pleased since that meant he got the one room to himself. Ilwoo sees Woojin open his mouth as if to say something, but shakes his head. Ilwoo just smiles at him, mentally knowing to not speak of their conversation. As Woojin leaves, he texts their group chat he was on his way up.

He hums one of their b-sides, planning a quick dinner and shower before going right to bed. It’s already late, so if he was lucky he might get 4 hours of sleep. Yongsun had been generally good at not overworking them too much these days, but their schedules were still getting hectic. Lack of sleep just comes with the job he supposes. At least it means they are active. Active is good.

The moment he stepped out of the elevator, someone calls out to him. The next thing he knows it, that same someone is running up to keep his elevator from leaving.

“Tag, you’re it!” Kaiden lightly smacks his shoulder as he hops into the elevator, “I’ll be back in a bit! I’ll smuggle you some ice cream!”

“Huh? Where are you going?” Ilwoo asks. Tag? What?

“The kids are all angry again. Gun got irritated and went to his room. Good luck being the hyung in there for a bit!”

“What? Hyung!” Ilwoo can’t stop the door before it closes. The last thing he sees is Kaiden’s, probably, evil grin and wave good bye. Ilwoo inwardly groans. He’s tired and really doesn’t want to referee a fight right now. Kaiden’s great and all, but give him an out and he’ll take it. Next time, Ilwoo will try not to tell them he’s coming home. But if he doesn’t, Gun gets worried. Ugh. He’ll annoy someone no matter what he does, he swears.

If Ilwoo said he expected silence when he opened the door to their apartment, he’d be lying. The dead silence of the household was uncharacteristic. Silence in this household was never a good thing.

“I’m back,” he calls out.

“Welcome home!” Dohyun calls out. Oh good, someone is alive, “did you have a good practice? How was your dad?”

“It was fine. And he’s doing well. He wants all of you to tell me what vitamins you might need,” he responds after removing his shoes, “is everything okay? Kaiden-hyung ran out of here pretty quick.”

“Ah, well,” Dohyun is now in front of him, looking sheepish, “well, you see...Jaeseok and Sihoo were having a disagreement about dinner. Sihoo really wanted to order in, but Jaeseok had already started dinner. They were already fighting over it when Kaiden and Gun got home. Gun had brought some kimbap for everyone, and that just set everything off.”

Oh no.

“Apparently, we missed the message the hyungs sent asking what we wanted to eat,” Dohyun continues as they make their way to the small kitchen. The shared apartment was definitely an upgrade from their former cramped quarters, though not huge by any means yet. Comfortable enough as long as everyone wasn’t trying to kill each other. They’d even graduated from bunk beds.

“So Sihoo was annoyed it was kimbap, Jaeseok upset that no one cared he was cooking, Kaiden-hyung over them being ingrates, and Gun-hyung that no one reads messages so this all could have been avoided.”

Ah, that made sense. Everyone was tired already, and then add hunger to the situation.

“You’re leaving out that Jaeseok was a little ,” Sihoo says from where he is sitting on the couch, “and called Gun-hyung fat because he told him to calm down.”

“That’s HYUNG to you, ,” Jaeseok retorts from his seat at their small kitchen table. The pair were sitting well apart from each other, glaring from across the rooms, “and I did not! He told me we could still eat everything and I told him that’s how you gain weight. I did not call him fat.”

“Semantics.”

“ off, you’re just upset you didn’t get to eat that junkfood.”

“You off, you’re a petty who’s mad for once we don’t worship your cooking.”

“Petty? You’re the brat whining about not getting your way and that the hyungs actually agreed with me, for once.”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Ilwoo hushes them quietly, rubbing his temples, “enough already. Are we all really fighting over food?”

“Pretty much,” Dohyun shrugs, “these two just kept getting louder. Gun-hyung went to your room since he wasn’t feeling well, so Kaiden-hyung sent each of them,” he points to the pair who were looking less angry and more akin to guilty, “to sit on opposite sides of the room until they cooled off. And then he said we’d have to deal with you instead and that’s about it. You’re all caught up hyung!” Dohyun laughs a little, “kinda dumb when I say it out loud, right?”

“Hyung is sick?” Ilwoo asks, looking to the two youngest who shake their heads.

“Probably sick of our ,” Sihoo offers with a half-shrug, “probably just tired. Jaeseok-hyung did call him fat, afterall.”

“I did not,” Jaeseok groans, “anyways, are you hungry hyung?” Jaeseok is already moving about the kitchen, “I made some egg fried rice, and there’s a little kimbap left. I’ll heat it up for you.”

“I think we have bean sprouts too,” Sihoo joins Jaeseok in the kitchen.

“Save them. If hyung is sick,” Dohyun is with them now as well, “we can use it to make some soup later.”

“Hey did I tell you? Apparently security escorted a Dispatch reporter out of the building,” Sihoo says to them all, “not sure what they were looking for, but they got pretty far in the building. That means they’re probably going to up security. That’s going to be dumb.”

“Sad you won’t be able to smuggle snacks to your girlfriend?”

“Ha, I dare you,” Sihoo responds to Jaeseok, “to say that to Limmie’s face. Her eyeroll will be so powerful, it’ll smack the handsome off your face.”

“Has she told you anymore about that new girl? Nanhee?”

“Only that she is pretty good. A buzzkill, but talented. Hyung, don’t you dare. From what Limmie tells me, that’s asking for trouble.”

“I wasn’t going to do anything! I just haven’t properly met her yet, that’s all!”

“Keep your in your pants, .”

“ off, brat,” Jaeseok roughly ruffles Sihoo’s hair.

Ilwoo slumps down into the couch, the silent tension in the dorm finally dissipating. He didn’t realize how tired he actually was until he sat down. He closes his eyes for a moment, listening to their maknae line continue to chat with each other.

“I can ask Kyungwon-noona about her if you want? Maybe Jaein?”

“Dohyun-hyung, don’t encourage him.”

“So, remember that guy that was lurking around the company, scaring the female staffers? Sara told me they saw him again. It’s weird, right?”

Suddenly, someone is shaking Ilwoo’s shoulder. His eyes open and the dorm is fairly quiet. He sits up from where he must have dozed off for a moment on the couch. Jaeseok is in front of him with two bowls of the rice and a plate of the kimbap on a tray.

“Sorry to wake you. We’re going to our room. Kaiden-hyung is on his way back, so I’ll wait up for him. Can you, um...” Jaeseok looks to the two bowls and glances to llwoo and Gun’s room.

“Of course. Thank you.”

“Yeah. Good night, hyung.”

Ilwoo watches Jaeseok retire to the shared room of their maknae line before sitting up and stretching. The light to his shared room with Gun was still on from what he could see from under the shut door. He’s surprised Gun hadn’t come out when he got home in all honesty. He really hopes he’s not actually sick.

Carrying the tray of food Jaeseok left for them, he carefully enters his room, trying his best to keep quiet in case Gun was sleeping. Their leader was sitting at the desk in their room, head resting on one hand. His laptop is open in front of him, some music program open that Ilwoo isn’t familiar with yet. From how still and quiet he was, headphones slightly askew on his head, Gun was most definitely asleep.

“Gun-hyung?” Ilwoo carefully pull off the headphones. Gun suddenly sits up at the movement, eyes open as he looks around for whoever woke him up. He finally sees Ilwoo and gives him a tired smile.

“When did you get home? How late is it?”

“Getting late,” He sets the tray aside, “what are you working on?”

“Some ideas for the next comeback. Think we could get away with LIT 2.0?” Gun stretches his arms over his head, his back popping from the movement, “I tried to wait up. Sorry.”

“No worries. Everything okay, hyung? Dohyun told me what happened.”

“...no worse than normal, I guess. We’re all just tired. It was already a long day. Guess I didn’t have the patience for it tonight. I’ll have to apologize to Kaiden later for leaving him to deal with them. You should have seen the look of complete betrayal he gave me when I shut the door on him.” Gun sounded apologetic, but he still smirks a little, “gotta keep him on his toes.”

“Well, if it helps, I think Jaeseok sent me in with food as a peace offering. Didn’t outright say he was sorry, but you know how he is.”

“Yeah, I do,” Gun looks at his phone and his eyebrows raise in surprise, “huh. Micha called me. One second, Ilwooie,” Gun stands and walks to the other side of the room, tapping out a message to presumably Micha in private. When did Gun get Micha’s number anyways?

“Everything okay on their end? From what Gayoung told me, they had their own in-fighting today.”

“Don’t know yet. Must have been bad if she’s calling me so late,” a moment later his phone dings as he receives a response, “guess I’ll find out tomorrow. I’ll call her in the morning before we go to our photoshoot. She said it isn’t urgent,” but, based on Gun’s expression, he feels bad about missing the call. Maybe it’s a leader thing: the perpetual feeling of guilt.

“I hope they’ve worked it out. Gayoung seemed really upset by it all when we talked. Apparently, things have not be exactly rainbows over there.”

“Yeah, Micha tells me something similar,” he sends one more message, but then pauses. He looks up to Ilwoo, brow raised questioningly, “when do you and Gayoung talk so much?”

“I mean, we’ve always talked, just not as much as she does with Dohyun and Jaeseok. We trained together, so...”

“I guess you do have an ideal type,” Gun looks entirely too amused for Ilwoo’s liking, “but if you’re interested, you should come out with it. You might be surprised.”

“N-no, it’s not like that,” Ilwoo stammers out, feeling his face flush a little. Gun must pick up on this because his expression looks far too entertained, “hyung, it really isn’t. Dating isn’t really a good idea anyhow, right? Idol life and all.”

“I know. Relax, Ilwooie, I’m not serious,” Gun yawns before sitting back down in his chair at the desk, “Still, you never know,” he gets one more message, and he smiles down at it fondly, “Micha says she’ll bring enough chocolate for all of us soon by the way.” Gun then puts the phone on the charger before resuming the work he was doing previously on the laptop.

“Oh, wait, hyung? Let’s eat together.” Ilwoo remembers their food and proceeds to set it up on the desk.

“Hm? Oh...no, I’m good. You can have it all.”

“Hyung,” Ilwoo sighs and places the bowl of rice in front of him, right on top of the laptop, ignoring Gun’s protests of dirtying the machine, “please eat. Jaeseok specifically set this aside for you.”

“I don’t need it. The coordinator told me I may need to size up soon anyhow,” He protests again and sets it aside. Ilwoo frowns before sitting on the stool next to their shared desk. Gun had been going to the gym more recently, so he was definitely burning calories. Ilwoo scanned him up and down and his frown deepens. While Gun was always lean as far as Ilwoo can recall, with a tank top on, even with the muscle building up, he still seems thinner than he remembers.

“It IS late...you’re probably right,” Ilwoo sets his own food aside, “I should probably not be eating either.” Gun shoots him a glance, “what? If you don’t need food, I definitely don’t.”

“Don’t be stupid. Eat you rice.”

For a moment they stare at each other. Wordlessly, Ilwoo reaches over and replaces the bowl of rice in front of Gun again. Finally Gun sighs in defeat and reaches for the chopsticks Ilwoo had set beside him.

“Want to listen to what I have so far?” He asks before taking a tentative bite of the food.

“Obviously,” Ilwoo accepts earbud Gun offers after switching it out so they could share, “so, when have you and Micha been so close?” Gun rolls his eyes at the reversal and turns the music on.

“Shut up and eat.”