The first thing Gayoung sees as she nears the training room is their maknae line giggling together. They were clearly trying to not be too loud, but when Hyeonyi started chortling, it was never long before Jaein would join in. Gayoung felt a pang of annoyance at seeing them like this. Today they were going to start learning the new choreography for their new song in preparation for their comeback set for the next few months of so. Gayoung was already running late after her meeting with their CEO this morning, so these two were definitely slacking.

Sungwon was going to join them later to see their performance and to basically do an assessment. He wanted this next comeback to be practically flawless. Different sound, less vocal heavy. Gayoung was a little relieved that would get some reprieve this comeback. That wasn’t to say their comback didn’t have some stronger vocal parts.

They just went to Hyeonyi.

The talk rap sections were catchy enough from what she heard in the demos.

That meant lots of center time for Nanhee.

Gayoung really tried to not let her inner voice scoff a little at that thought, but she couldn’t help herself. The last month in the dorm had not gone any smoother since they moved in. The constant practicing of the same songs and dances that, honestly, they didn’t even get to perform on stage just made everyone even more stressed. It wasn’t just Nanhee causing trouble to be fair, Gayoung supposes. She’d seen how they were all beginning to slack. The maknae duo she was stalking up towards was just a byproduct of that.

She wasn’t innocent if she were honest with herself. She’d been sneaking off a bit. It wasn’t like how Hyeonyi would think she was being smooth and casually come into practice a little bit later than usual while wiping some crumbs of something from the corners of . Heck, it wasn’t even like how Lim just lazily did the motions without really caring if Sara judged them or not. Actually, Sara was starting to look just as bored with the practices as Lim.

Their song wasn’t even charting noticeably. Gayoung should know better than to expect anything less. Okay, so maybe she let the lofty idea of pulling an Itzy and winning with their debut almost immediately overtake her thoughts as they were preparing for their showcase. She hated that she’d let herself fall into that trap like the younger girls. Even Riot wasn’t anywhere popular when they debuted. She’d listened to Dohyun and Jaeseok tell her how disappointed they were in their first comeback’s results. Gayoung should have known better and yet she still-

So yes. Forgive her for allowing herself a moment to sneak to the forbidden practice room to see her boys and get some much needed emotional support. Hanging out with Dohyun and Jaeseok was nice for the evening up until they both inquired about, ugh, Nanhee. Especially Jaeseok. That just couldn’t take Gayoung’s hints that the topic of Nanhee should be left alone. Besides, Nanhee would never be into Jaeseok and Gayoung didn’t need Jaeseok trying his bull on one of her groupmates...even if she didn’t particularly like the other girl. Even away from the others, she couldn’t escape the notice of the shiny newbie. She nearly said as much, but stopped herself. No sense in getting riled up over something like that when she was with her friends.

Aside from that, it would have been a perfectly chill evening. And then in came Gun with their manager Woojin, and they looked at each other, and he just-

-UGH! Gayoung shook her head and stalked silently up to the duo.

“This HAS to belong to one of the trainees!”

“But there aren’t any real trainees left right? They wouldn’t be in this training room anyhow, right? Right?” Jaein giggles and reads aloud something from a worn out notebook with a red and black cover. It looked like an inexpensive one you’d buy for school, “Nights with dreams are all fading too. The scent permeates and lingers. I’m lost looking for you. These sound so romantic!” She flips back to some earlier pages, “Or this one! I wonder if you’re listening to this song somewhere
This song that was written easily as I thought of you...”

Oh no, she knew those lyrics and definitely remembers that notebook now.

“Hey!-oh, unnie!” Hyeonyi first protested when Gayoung swooped in to take the notebook from their hands, snapping it shut and tucking it under her arm, “we were waiting for you!”

“I’m here, so let’s practice. Sara is going to show us some new choreo.”

“Ooh!” Hyeonyi positively beamed and was dashing into the practice room with Jaein in tow.

The promise of something new even made Gayoung feel a little excited too. So what if this song wasn’t exactly the best for showcasing herself? It wasn’t about just her afterall! They were a group! She’d work hard to ensure they all showcased themselves. That’s how they were going to find themselves somewhere on the charts and out of “nugu” status.

She’d make sure the notebook got back to its owner after practice.

Her bright mood dims the moment she walks into the practice room.

To one side was Nanhee, looking into the mirror, stretching, and wearing those goddamned Air Pods again. Lim wasn’t too far away, also looking in the mirror as she stretched. Gayoung took a moment to admire when she raised a leg up and nearly up to her head, making it look near effortless. Gayoung totally could do that too!...if she felt like it of course. Ha. What a lie. Gayoung is entirely too funny...not that anyone could ever hear that. Wait, where was their “leader”?

Ah, there she was.

“Good morning!” She greets both Youngae and Micha who are quietly conversing. Both greet her with soft voices. Honestly, neither looked entirely too good, probably lack of sleep or something stressing them out. Youngae she knew was up late the previous nights working with the studio to continue recording some of her parts for their next album (extended play?).

“How’d it all go? I think they were going to work with Limmie or Nanheehaw next-”

“Gayoung, that’s not ni-”

“They lost the recording,” Youngae interjects, “...all of it. Somehow, nothing I recorded the first time was actually...well, recorded.” The older girl sighed, her whole body just screaming of exhaustion without words.

“But you were out so late-”

“Unnie stayed while the sound engineers tried to work out the issues so they could record again,” Micha added, “they just took a really long time. The studio isn’t working, so auntie-um, Yongsun is told me they were probably going to find another to borrow for the time being.”

Well damn...so much for continuing their recording.

“I’m trying to tell unnie she can rest. I’ll talk to our manager and ask him to-”

“Oh, you won’t do any such thing,” Youngae grumbles irritably, “I don’t need him sticking his nose in my business.”

“But unnie, you look so-”

“I’m fine,” she states while straightening her posture, and hiding any fatigue she might have, “I’ll be fine. Our CEO will be here today. We can’t be skipping.”

“Oh...oh right.”

“Are you sure?” Gayoung tries this time, “Unnie, Hosung-oppa can take you back to the dorm-”

“Ugh, do you really think he gives a damn about any of us?” The sudden bite in her words made Gayoung silent, “Do you know what he was saying when he came around to pick me up? He kept complaining about how late it was. It WAS late, but that’s just what happens sometimes. Instead he just kept grumbling over and over how dumb and stupid it was for him to be coming to get me sooooo late and oh my god he is insufferable.”

To the credit of their currently absent manager, seeing Youngae this riled up about something was refreshing. Gayoung remembers how Youngae used to be prior to Produce. This girl with such anger towards their manager reminds Gayoung of that person. She allows herself to feel a little nostalgic before the scowl present on Youngae’s pretty face reminds her of the present.

“Stop grinning at me. You know he’s annoying.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Gayoung sings a little. She does a quick headcount and frowns, “Micha, we’re missing one. Kyungwon-unnie isn’t here?”

“She isn’t?” Their leader also scans the room, “she said she was going out to make a phone call. Since we were waiting on you, I didn’t think it would hurt. She’ll be back soon I think-”

“Maybe you should check on her?” The words left Gayoung’s mouth before she really meant for them to, but there wasn’t any arguing with the logic. She should have been the latest, and they were already going to lose time to learn the new choreography as it was due to her own tardiness, “You know, let her know we’re ready to start? She should be warming up, not taking calls.”

Micha had been mid-stifled yawn, but quickly shut , and nods before rushing out to go find Kyungwon. Gayoung just shakes her head and calls out to the others. She may as well get them all started on some warm-ups while they wait for Sara. Someone has to make sure they’re in tip top shape for evaluation with Sungwon today. Since Micha wasn’t able to throw her weight around, Gayoung is more than happy to get the ball rolling.

Much to her chagrin, both Nanhee and Lim don’t exactly rally when she calls to them. Lim just looks at her with a noncommittal shrug. Nanhee? Nanhee just outright ignores her.

...this …

Before she can say anything else, in comes Sara, dragging along the speaker to play their music.

“Hello fellow mortals! Ready to slave away the next eight hours on another song you will surely hate in the long run?” She shouts so excitedly that Gayoung only briefly misses the sarcasm in her tone. Sara must have seen Gayoung’s frown because she raises her hands in apology, though it’s a very half-hearted attempt.

Well, it gets Sara a good laugh from Lim at least.
 

Learning new choreography was always tricky. Now, not necessarily for Gayoung. She likes to think she is very good at learning different dances with relative ease. She might concede that Lim is better at it, but only by the slimmest of margins. Sara first started by showing them some videos of the choreography she’d worked out with some other dancers.

Even using the guide version of the song, Gayoung already could pretty much pinpoint who would be singing which parts even before seeing who was center in the choreo. Her assumption that Hyeonyi would take center vocal-wise was turning out to be true. Both she and Kyungwon seemed to share the lead vocal parts. Although Hyeonyi was going to carry the vocal part, the center of this choreo was very clearly going to be Nanhee. Gayoung wasn’t thinking she, herself, should be more centered, but surely someone with better presence should be? She was, of course, an option, but why not also Lim or Youngae? She knew why Jaein and Micha were relegated to more supporting sections, but that felt appropriate for the parts and skill level for this song. Still, the focus went first to Nanhee, then probably Hyeonyi...though maybe herself if she was thinking about it enough maybe? No, those two were going to have the bulk of the lines and, therefore, any screen or center time.

Anyhow, as she was saying, learning choreography can be tricky. This is especially true when not everyone is on the same level of aptitude. Watching Kyungwon and Jaein try and try to keep up was becoming increasingly more painful as they went on through the day. Sara, bless that woman’s soul, was ever patient, but Gayoung could see her trying to modify their work already to account for them.

“Why don’t we just hide them in the back of the formation?” Lim offers with a shrug when Kyungwon yet again stumbled, “just bring them up front to look pretty and then hide them again. Groups do that all the time. Cover for the weak dancers.” Behind Lim, Gayoung hears Kyungwon let out an embarrassed giggle.

“Oh, we should totally do that!” Jaein quickly agrees.

“We are totally not doing that,” Sara chides, “We’ve got time. We’ll get you both up to speed. Count on it,” Sara hums and does a movement herself, making mental notes, “I think we can do it this way instead. A little less floor work. Any arguments there, Limmie?”

“None from me,” Lim agrees quickly, nodding to the movement Sara does. Gayoung finds herself wishing Lim would defer to them like this when Sara wasn’t present. Everything would just work so much easier if for once, it wasn’t like pulling teeth to get her to focus. It was hard enough to make Hyeonyi take things seriously when Jaein was feeding into her antics, but the youngest also looked to Lim. And Lim? Lim half the time didn’t give a damn. She would be as bad as Nanhee except Lim had skills and applied them appropriately. Ugh, why was this so infuriating?

“Alright! From the top!” Sara announced.

Hour four, and they were looking a lot better. Some parts had to be nixed, but that was fine. They were finally looking like a unit for once. Well, most of them. The dance line was still very clear from the...well, non-danceline. You wouldn’t even need a non-critical eye to see that. Gayoung likes to think she can understand the addition of everyone to the group. However, she really doesn’t understand their CEO’s decisions here.

Critically, purely thinking this through with a discerning viewpoint based solely on the facts, Gayoung doesn’t know why Kyungwon and Jaein were added. Okay, they both had nice voices, but neither exactly had power behind them. Gayoung can acknowledge that visually they were stunning...but so was Youngae. She would even say her own visuals were on point. At least, she hopes they are. They certainly were costly and well done. With that being the baseline, why includes them then? Vocally she is good enough. Hyeonyi? Okay, Gayoung concedes she is also a star in many ways, but she’s so naive and young. Sometimes Gayoung still wonders what she was supposed to bring to all this except some youth. Actually, youth is probably it. And Nanhee? Fine, Gayoung knows she’s a good dancer and performer based on their debut showcase. But Gayoung stands by that they can fill those gaps easily without her with Lim.

So, Gayoung doesn’t understand the more she thinks on it. Even watching everyone now, she can’t understand how Nanhee and some of the others were selected...

..and there goes Hyeonyi only half-way doing the movement again. Even if she knew the youngest was getting tired, she normally still dances fully to her fingertips. None of this half movement...so then why…

It doesn’t take her long to follow Hyeonyi’s line of sight to none other than Nanhee.

“Can you take this seriously?” Gayoung suddenly snaps at Nanhee. Again, with the lazy movements. Here was exhausted Kyungwon and clumsy but earnest Jaein doing their absolute best to keep up, and Nanhee couldn’t even be bothered to dance fully? She maybe danced it full out once, and hasn’t done it since. Just being a lazy dancer. She literally just caught Hyeonyi pausing to watch Nanhee and subduing the movement because Nanhee was. What the ever loving hell is wrong with this woman?

“Mind your own business.”

“You holding everyone back is my business,” she retorts, “you haven’t even broken a sweat yet. Do you even know the dance at all?”

“Isn’t it obvious that there isn’t a point in expending our energy while they’re,” Nanhee motions to the more lacking of their dancers, “still figuring it out?”

“So they can see and follow you.”

“Not my problem,” Nanhee repeated, a scowl beginning to form on her face versus the bored expression she’d had previously.

“You’re making it my problem.”

“Girls, enough,” Sara interjects, “take a break.” She leaves them while taking Micha with her to do something. Gayoung immediately spins to walk away from Nanhee and on the floor as far away as she could be. Youngae joins her, who looks so miserably tired more than ever. Also like she has something on her mind.

“Are you going to be okay, unnie?”

“I’ll...manage. Sungwon hasn’t come by yet, so I just need to hold out until then,” she rubs the temples of her head, clearly in pain, “I think the lack of sleep is catching up.” a moment of rubbing and she looks up, side-eyeing where Nanhee is currently getting water, “..I didn’t want to mention it but…”

“But?” The way Youngae’s normally sweet features frown in distaste gives Gayoung a little hope.

“...the way the younger girls seem to idolize Nanhee isn’t good.”

“Okay, right?” Ha! Gayoung isn’t alone.

“Maybe I’m just cranky, but-”

“No, unnie, you’re right. You know Hyeonyi can dance really well and always gives it everything. But lately? The only thing I can think has really changed around here is Nanhee and her presence.”

“I don’t think it’s necessarily that bad yet-”

“But you agree? Nanhee could be the cause?”

“I can’t say she isn’t, so-”

“Alright, great. I feel better,” Gayoung huffs and side-eyes where Hyeonyi and Nanhee are apparently interacting. Hyeonyi trying to ask Nanhee something and Nanhee ignoring her...or not. Did..did Hyeonyi actually get Nanhee to speak to her? Admittedly it was more of a shrug off, but the outsider actually responded almost normally.

“What are you seething about?” Kyungwon suddenly asks, startling Gayoung.

“Unnie, you notice it too right? That Nanhee is just not attentive or eager to be a team player?”

Gayoung should have realized the question made Kyungwon uncomfortable, but the oldest member of Coterie just shrugs, smiling her pretty smile as usual. Her visuals were no joke. Why was Jaein the visual again? Gayoung has to really question the decisions made for Coterie.

“She seems to know what she’s doing, right? Much better than me!” Kyungwon’s smile falters as she looks to Gayoung and Youngae, “Um...right? Nanhee seems really well trained and-”

“Unnie,” Youngae is the one speaking now, “you don’t have to be nice about it. We all know. Gayoung is just the one willing to say it out loud. She’s been here the shortest out of all of us, but acts like she has been here” she hesitates, but adds, “however, maybe we shouldn’t be too-”

“No, someone needs to tell her. Maybe I’ll talk to our CEO later. He can-”

Someone clears their throat. Standing off to the side is their manager, Hosung. He sighs from where he is resting on the doorframe, a look in his eyes Gayoung can’t quite place. Did he hear them?

“My girls!” Sungwon’s voice calls out energetically.v He merges behind Hosung, who moves aside to let their CEO come into the practice room. Behind him comes Sara with some waters with Micha. Everyone in the room is immediately at attention. Even Nanhee, who just moments ago was walking about languidly, was suddenly bright eyed and ready. This was it. Gayoung can forgive all her annoyances today if it meant something came of it.

“Sara tells me you’ve been working very hard today. I can’t wait to see the product!”

“Sungwon-ssi!” Hyeonyi bounds up excitedly, “Sara told me I get to be main vocal this time! Is that true?”

“Yes! I think you’ll do very well there.”

...ugh…

“Oh, Nanhee,” he turned his attention to the object of Gayoung’s ire as she approaches him, “how are things? Training going well?”

“Yes,” Nanhee says with an actual smile. It was soft and small, but a real smile? What the hell? Is it just Gayoung that everyone wants to wave off? First Lim to Sara ,and now Nanhee to Sungwon? This is some bull-

“Alright, alright, I don’t have much time!” He announces before anyone else can go up to him to chat, “Show me your progress! I wanted to record this to show Yongsun later, but your manager,” he elbows Hosung in the side a little, Hosung responding with a rather irritated glare at Sungwon, “says now isn’t a good time.”

“Says who?” Sara scoffs and pokes Hosung, “Oppa, you an expert on preparedness?”

“I’ve seen enough to know you don’t want Yongsun-noona bringing her judgement on it. You’ve got people out of sync still and your oldest,” hand motion to Youngae and Kyungwon, “look like they’re going to pass out any moment. Don’t add to the pressure.” Gayoung sees Youngae bristle and stand all that much taller in defiance.

“Don’t fight,” Sungwon claps again, “alright! Let’s see the progress!”

Gayoung had hoped they’d somehow ace it, but its soon obvious they aren’t quite there yet. Which is fine! For having just started on this, she’d like to think they aren’t doing too badly. However, that clear break on who is dancer and who isn’t? Well, now that their CEO was here, Nanhee went hard. Now it was all professionalism as she practically nailed ever piece of the choreo, even when another member would mess up. Didn’t miss a beat. Gayoung has to admit, Nanhee is a great dancer. But the divide between herself, Nanheehaw, Youngae, Lim ,and Hyeonyi from Jaein and Kyungwon looked just that much worse. If they weren’t careful, they’d label those two useless visuals. Not on her watch. Gayoung makes a mental note to help them out later.

As their song comes to an end, it starts looping again from the beginning. Sara doesn’t stop it.

“Dance battle! Let’s go! C’mon Limmie! Show them!”

Instantly, Lim steps out and damn, just damn. There is just something organic with how Lim moves when not constrained by any rules. It’s another reason for Gayoung to admire her and understand how she managed to get into the group. Sara cheers, and it doesn’t take long for Hyeonyi to charge out and dance her heart out. While Lim’s looks polished, Hyeonyi by far is just having fun with her dance choices. With a big smile, yet again, Gayoung has to admit she understands the appeal. Youngae doesn’t go out and neither does Kyungwon. Both cheer for the others though. Jaein, however, certainly does, and its a ridiculous mess. No skill or grace to be found. And yet, Sungwon is all smiles and claps for her just the same. Just as Gayoung considers taking over, Nanhee is already on the floor.

Lim is elegance. Hyeonyi youth. Jaein a goofball. Nanhee is pure . Gayoung has never seen her dance like this, but it’s by far the iest she’s seen any of them dance, and Gayoung has been with CM far longer. How the hell does Nanhee make an upbeat, fun song like this into something sensual? Ground work too? All the while, she is looking to Sungwon. If this type of movement is appealing to him in any way, to his credit Gayoung can’t see it. Sara calls out, “GET IT GIRL!”. After a moment, Sungwon does laugh and waves for her to stop.

The music cuts off and Gayoung doesn’t even get a turn.

“I’m glad that each of you is so unique,” he says encouragingly, “Hosung is right: it’s a little rough. But you’ll be perfect in no time. If the clock is right, my time is up for now though. I look forward to your comeback.”

“Um, wait,” Youngae asks, “weren’t there supposed to be evaluations or…?”

“Who told you that? No, I just wanted to come visit and check on you all. None of you have to prove anything to me. It’s the world we have to prove to that all of you are the best. And we’ll tackle that together. Good work ladies!”

Gayoung tries to get Sungwon’s attention, but he doesn’t even seem to recognize that she’s there. He does take a moment to tell Nanhee and Hyoneyi good bye as they both go up to him.

Gayoung swears she’s not going to overthink that. She swears.

“I’ll be right back,” Hosung says to them, “get in one more practice and then I’ll take you all home.”

With some affirmatives all around, both Hosung and Sara leave after Sungwon.

“So,” Gayoung turns to Nanhee. The smile she once had immediately fades to a neutral expression, “does someone here have a crush on our CEO?” Nanhee’s eyes widen and she coughs, “so you do! That’s kind of cute.”

“I do not…” Nanhee responds. She neither sounds angry or upset. More confused if Gayoung had to place it. That was weird...

“Cute or not, that kind of dancing for our boss?” Youngae comments with a shake of her head, “How come you didn’t dance, Gayoung?”

“Ha, probably because after seeing Nanhee, why would he want to see anyone else?” Lim states, “That’s the kind of dancing that will get you attention for sure. Good on you. sells.” Nanhee doesn’t respond. Gayoung can’t stop herself from feeling a bit hurt by it. How long has she known Sungwon? He barely even looked her way. All because of Nanhee? Or her dancing? Or maybe even Hyeonyi taking his attention so easily?

There’s a voice in the back of her mind telling Gayoung less than savory things. She doesn’t like it, but after that display...could it be…?

“From the top!” Gayoung calls out, motioning for Micha to turn the music back on again. There’s a groan from nearly everyone, but all the members line up for starting positions. Even Nanhee does, though she looks a bit distant and more subdued than the rest of the day. Even the mighty Nanhee must be feeling the fatigue, “don’t worry Nanhee. I’m sure you can dance just as well without an audience.”

Nanhee’s eyes flare to life as they both glare at each other.

There’s no lazy dancing this time from either Gayoung or Nanhee. In fact, Gayoung swears they aren’t even watching the others. The entire time, they are dancing to outdo the other. From the core to the fingertips: neither seemed to lack any energy for this last dance. Gayoung didn’t get to show their CEO his patience and efforts weren’t wasted: so instead, she’d show everyone in this room.

Now, there’s a particular part of the choreography where they link in front of each other, and swing their body away from each other. Though not normally her partner in the choreo, somehow Nanhee and Gayoung ended up opposite each other as partners for this move. Instead of pausing to correct the mess up, they just grabbed the other’s arms and did the movement.

Maybe they did it with a bit more force and anger than they intended. So maybe their center of gravity was a little off. Maybe they tripped up themselves.

That one stumble is all it took.

Gayoung falls onto Nanhee and feels the press of the other girl’s lips on hers for a brief moment while they tumble down. It was a wide eyed moment of them staring at each other before registering the contact. Nanhee pushes her face away just as quickly as Gayoung gasps and struggles to get off her. They scramble away and stare at the other like they were some strange creature. What the heck?!

“Woo, get it ladies,” Lim teases, breaking them from their moment.

Gayoung giggles and gets to her feet.. The whole ‘kiss’ was ridiculous, though honestly it was nice to have that reprieve after so much today. This was practically a moment out of a comedy or maybe some silly manhwa. She giggles again and offers her hand to help Nanhee up to her feet. All the anger she had towards her seemed to fade a bit. It’s kind of funny how stupidly humanizing this was. At least they’d have a funny story to tell later back at the dorm.

Nanhee smacks her hand away.

...this …

The other girl remains sitting on the floor, hand over . She doesn’t look at Gayoung as she slowly starts to get to her feet.

“I thought I was clumsy,” Youngae says, “you both were just moving so fast. I guess even our young stars are accident prone!” That gets a good natured laugh from some of the other girls, Gayoung included. Sans Nanhee. Nanhee remains silent, not really looking at any of the others still.

“Oh my gosh, this was totally something out of Naruto!” Jaein adds, smiling and clapping her hands all to excitedly, “It’s funny because Sasuke and Naruto hate each other too!”

“We need a ship name! GaHee? Unnie love?” Hyeonyi joins in.

“Shut up!” Nanhee snaps. She wipes on the back of her hand. Had she not been there, Gayoung would assume she’d been full on d by some old ert or something. Or that Gayoung had some disease. The maknaes both look defalted as their prior exuberance dies down. Again, she’s bringing down everyone with her. Enough is enough.

“What? A little bit of accidental contact is so distressing to our resident icon?” Gayoung snaps.

“Gayoung, stop-” She barely registers Micha’s voice.

“Or is it just men you listen to? Because you sure as hell don’t give a damn about anything we have to say. Do you even want to be here? Oh no, you definitely want to be here. We all saw how you danced for Sungwon. He is old enough to probably be your dad and you still decide to turn on the appeal for him. That is disgusting.”

“ you!” Nanhee shouts angrily, her eyes wide in anger, “You only want to hear your voice and tell everyone what to do! Update: Sungwon-ssi didn’t choose you to be leader and I don’t have to think too hard why!”

This ing …! What is even up with this amount of anger over something so small?!

“That’s uncalled for, Nanhee,” Youngae is the one arguing back now, siding up with Gayoung, “She has a point. We ask you to dance and work with us, and we get nothing from you. But Sungwon does and then you’re a totally different person. It’s...not right. You’re supposed to be our groupmate and-”

“Stay out of this!” Nanhee turns on Youngae, “No one asked you, or anyone else here, your opinon!” Nanhee is turning shades of red as Gayoung can practically feel the anger flaring off her. Good. Finally. Some emotion, “All of you are so stuck on who is what or does what! How is any of your own issues my problem?! Who the cares about what our roles are supposed to be?!”

“You think I care about any official titles?! This is about how you just don’t give a ! We’re breaking our backs here and you just don’t care, at all! We ask you to do something for us, work with us, do something, anything! And what do you do? You ignore us! I used to ask myself why you were in the group and now I think I know! I mean, look at you! Just turn on the appeal and poof, you’re in the group! How did your audition go anyways?” Gayoung’s voice just drips acid as she feels the pent up malice in her keep rising more and more to the surface, “Were you on your back or your knees?”

Silence. Even Youngae turns a stunned look at Gayoung. A line was crossed.

And that’s when Gayoung realizes Nanhee isn’t looking at any of them again. She is standing there, her whole body shaking. No words. No movement except her shaking. Gayoung opens to say something as the words she’d just uttered moments ago finally sink in. She’d just told her peer, her groupmate, another woman that she...oh no…

“I-”

But Gayoung doesn’t get the chance. Nanhee is out of the room before any of the others can react. The room is silent a moment longer, some eyes on her, while others are looking to where Nanhee left. Micha mumbles something and looks ready to leave when a loud voice calls out to them.

“What is going on?”

It’s Hosung. She’d not even realized he’d come back to get them.

“Explain to me what the hell just happened? What did I just hear?” He demands, stalking towards them. Gayoung has never seen Hosung angry. In this moment, he resembled Yongsun far more than his actual uncle, “Anyone? Who wants to explain why accusing your groupmate like that is okay?!”

“Um…” Micha starts to reply awkwardly.

“What?”

“Can I go after her-?”

“Yes! Don’t even ask! Just go and be a leader or whatever!” Micha shrinks back a little at Hosung’s exclamation, but she is rushing out after Nanhee. Their manager then turns his ire back to the others. More specifically, towards Gayoung and Youngae. Lim was aside with both Hyeonyi and Jaein in a familiar position behind her. Kyungwon keeps her eyes to the ground, flinching just a little when he lets out a frustrated exhale.

“What is actually wrong with you lot?” Hosung’s quietly angry voice continues, “are you so envious you think this is okay? Or is it because it’s an ‘outsider’ that you think this is the way you should conduct yourselves?”

“That’s not it at all!” Gayoung tries to defend, “We were just teasing her at first. We didn’t know she would react like this. That it would turn into-”

“Teasing? You think that’s what this is about? You’re all delusional if you’re convinced that’s what just happened. Or that she overreacted. That was nothing but a full on attack,” Hosung seethes. Youngae is about to speak, but he cuts her off immediately, “Don’t try to justify it. You assume I wasn’t in the room seeing it happen all through practice? That I wasn’t watching all of you during Sungwon’s appearance? I heard it all out there. I should have stepped in sooner. I was going to let you work it out among yourselves, but clearly I was mistaken.”

“Oppa, we-”

“I used to tell Woojin,” he continues, cutting Youngae off again, “that you were good people despite the infighting. Less trouble than the boys he has to manage. I was wrong. You’re no less awful: you’re just different,” He breathes out, pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed as if he was fighting a headache, “all of the pettiness and jealousy doesn’t change no matter the group of trainees or even with idols.”

“That’s not fair. You don’t have to live with her. She is just...we all are just-” Gayoung tries to find the words, but all the fight in her moments ago is gone. Her own realization of her actions just keeps gaining momentum within her. What...has she done? Oh no, what has she done?

“Really? That’s going to be your defense, Gayoung?” Hosung sighs, anger seemingly replaced by something else, “She had it coming? Is that what all of you think? And that it’s okay to let it happen because she had it coming?” He seemingly directs his last words towards all the girls in the room, “God, I hope not. I really hope you are just tired and frustrated because I expect all of you to be better people than this. Right now, I don’t really like any of you or your ty reasons. It doesn’t matter: you did a thing, for whatever reason you try to convince yourselves.”

Hosung lets out another long held breath then. He looks at all of them, and suddenly Gayoung realizes he no longer looks angry. He looks sad and disappointed. She swears she hears him mutter something under his breath about ‘should have known better’.

...oh no, what has she done?

“I’m going to call a driver to take you all home. I’ll bring Micha and Nanhee by later,” he sighs again, “just...nevermind. Excuse me,” he has his phone out as he leaves the training room.

Gayoung glances around at the girls around her. Kyungwon and Youngae look properly contrite, Jaein a bit confused, and Hyeonyi like she might cry from being scolded. Even Lim, seemingly untouchable Lim, had her eyes downcast, even if she still stood with her back straight and posture not belying anything but her usual demeanor.
And none of them make eye contact with Gayoung.

What has she done?

Gayoung really should be in the van going back to the dorm.

Instead, she figures she is probably in trouble as it is and would rather deal with trouble than going back to the dorm right now. So she might as well get into more trouble. Besides, she has a more altruistic reason besides avoiding the dorm, or judgment of the others, or going to a sleepless night alone with her thoughts. Gayoung finds herself slinking off to another training room that Dohyun tells her a certain someone is working late at tonight after having to miss some practice due to an appointment with his father. Even though they told him he didn’t need to catch up on any practice, he still decided to stay behind when the others left.

Sitting in the corner of the room is Ilwoo. He’s stretching, looking like he just finished practicing himself. Gayoung didn’t get to talk to Ilwoo much these days. When he wasn’t holed up in the studio, he was visiting his dad. Never mind the practical ban Yongsun enacted on the girls of Coterie and boys of Omni from interacting much. Not that it ever stops them at this point. Now it was just a matter of how discreet they could all be and when Yongsun would finally drop the hammer.

“Oppa? Knock, knock,” she calls out.

“Gayoung? Woojin-hyung said all of you went home. What’s up?” After looking at her a moment, “Is everything okay? What happened? Did evaluation go badly?”

She doesn’t stop herself from sitting down next to him, her body feeling so terribly exhausted and her mental capacity at it’s limit. It only takes him asking her once more if everything was alright for Gayoung to just tell him the events of the day. Ilwoo is quiet, face controlled, as he listens without interjecting. She admits, she doesn’t exactly spill all the details of the fight. He doesn’t need to know how she let herself lose control and not keep her head on straight long enough to recognize the mean streak she’d let take over her this day. Gayoung doesn’t know if she could handle another person seeing her moment of stupid weakness. She’ll judge herself proper later and swallow her pride. She just wants someone to listen who isn’t neck deep in it for a moment. Congrats Ilwoo for being her audience tonight.

She does pat herself on the back mentally for not crying during the spill.

It’s just nice to get it out.

“And now, I’m here trying to hide from the others because I don’t want to deal with this and have to fix everything right now.”

He nods thoughtfully.

“You sound like a lot like Jaseok when he doesn’t want to apologize even when he knows he ‘miiiiight’ be wrong,” he laughs when Gayoung rolls her eyes dramatically, “I mean...everyone fights sometimes. You should see the arguments between Jaeseok, Jihoo, and Gun-hyung. Or even when Kaiden-hyung and Jaeseok get into it. Poor Dohyun usually ends up in the middle, and I swear Sihoo’s made him cry once. We don’t always have to like each other to work together, and we find a way to make amends. Give it some time, and then try to apologize or move on from it. You’re allowed a bad day from time to time.” If only Ilwoo knew the extent of her ‘bad day’.

“All I’m hearing is that Jaeseok is a head and the cause of all evil,” that makes Ilwoo laugh, “come on, you know it’s true oppa!”

“Jaeseok just hates being told what to do. He’s a good guy, but a little stubborn.”

“I swear you never speak badly about any of them. Can you tell me any of their bad qualities? Except Dohyun. He’s an angel and can do no wrong,” another laugh from Ilwoo, “Come on, just one bad thing?”

“You’d know most of it as well as me. But...collectively, they’re all pretty oblivious to anything that’s not themselves, so they miss the cues to sometimes just shut up. Does that count?”

“Close enough!” Gayoung then remembers why she actually came so covertly to the studio, “by the way, here.” She holds out the notebook she’d confiscated from Hyeonyi and Jaein.

The smile on Ilwoo’s face drops immediately, looking part mortified and terrified. That was a new look on him. With Ilwoo, it was either placidity or soft smiles. Come to think of it, Gayoung can’t remember a time ever seeing Ilwoo angry, even when being teased. Today apparently is the day Gayoung gets to experience new sides of people...she’s not sure she likes this.

“Um...yeah, thanks. Where?”

“Our maknaes had it,“ she assures him, “and had no idea they were reading your notebook, let alone lyrics from some of Omni’s songs.”

“I...did you...read anything else?” He stammers out quietly.

The notebook was something Gayoung remembers Ilwoo having for a long time. When there was downtime from training, sometimes she’d see him off to the side, headphones on, writing so effortlessly. When everyone else had cleared out, she’d see him still writing. Ilwoo and his pen and notebook was a well known sight. Even Hyeonyi associates him with those things. She once had to remind Hyeonyi who Ilwoo was, prior to Omni’s debut, by referring to the guy in the corner with the headphones and notebook. She’s ridiculous sometimes. But no one else was ever allowed to even touch it since the treasure was never out of Ilwoo’s grasp.

So...yes, shamefully, she had read more of the book on her way over. She’d make amends soon enough.

“I never knew you were such a sap!” Gayoung teases. A good number of the things written were wistful, romantic drabbles. Some weren’t of course. But there were ones that were just so painfully sappy it made her own heart ache a little. Ilwoo’s ears turn a few shades of pink as he coughs in embarrassment.

“So…did you...”

“They’re really good!” She assures him. The tension she’d only now noticed in his shoulders eases just a little, “They really are. No wonder you write so many of your own songs. Can I?” She starts to open the notebook, waiting for him to protest, but he doesn’t. She reads through some of the writings and just feels herself smile more. Who knew quiet Ilwoo was such a romantic? He’s totally be one of those kids who left love letters in a girl’s locker. She used to get anonymous ones from time to time from the male trainees. Had Ilwoo ever left one for a girl she might know?

“That...that really wasn’t meant for anyone else to read,” he comments quietly. He’s not really looking at her now, though he’s far more relaxed than a moment ago, “I...really...really don’t want anyone else reading it. They’re meant for me only. Never to see the light of day.”

“You should consider a different format then, oppa,” She pauses at one of the more complete songs, “Hey the one song with the neat whistle is in here too though,” Gayoung flips through an obviously early and rough draft of A Song Written Easily, “if you don’t want want these to see the light of day, why’d this one make the cut?”

“Much like you,” Ilwoo shrugs, his ears still pink from embarrassment, “Gun stumbled upon it, while reorganizing our room, and read it without knowing what it was and all. He really liked it and pushed for us to make it our next song.”

“You’ve got a lot of beautiful words in here. Gun was right. Why not use them? I see you also got a little of Inception’s lines in here too.”

“...I don’t like everyone knowing my personal thoughts all the time,” he shrugs a little, looking awkward again. Gayoung immediately shuts the notebook the moment he uttered that, handing it back to him. He takes it, though he continues to stare at the cover, “thank you,” another brief pause, “I feel like I die a little every time I hear or perform that one. Inception isn’t an issue since it’s just a few lines here and there. But...A Song? Yeah...little deaths.”

And Gayoung feels like a little monster all over again. Ilwoo joined Circle maybe two-ish years after her: the tall and gangly as teenagers can be guy in the room. Despite that, he was always passionate about the love of writing and producing, even if he was never quite as loud as Dohyun or Jaeseok’s passions or interests. So hearing that lyrics he obviously put his heart into bring him that kind of distress was one of the sadder things she’d probably hear. Even now, sitting on the floor flipping through his notebook, she’d have not guessed from his inflection that any of this was going through his head.

...that being said...even if the angst was real and present…

“Okay, I HAVE to ask now,” Gayoung smirks when he looks up placidly, “who broke your heart and where is she so I can make her bleed?” Ilwoo’s once pink ears turned several shades of red now as his eyes turn down to look at his notebook. With a decisive snap, the book shuts and he slowly gets to his feet.

“There was nothing to break. We were just walking together one day and I just...basically played out in my head an entire movie of what could be...and how there would not be a happy ending. Got home and this all just spilled out. That’s all,” he slings his backpack over his shoulder and looks at her, face calm as ever even as his ears slowly fade back to their normal shade.

“That’s…,” sad. That’s all Gayoung can think of.

“Longing for someone and wishing for things, no matter how hard, doesn’t beget happy endings in real life.”

And yet again, Ilwoo’s words make Gayoung’s heart shatter a little. It makes her think of evenings at the Park’s home for dinner with family and friends, sneaking off to dark corners when they thought no one was looking to steal a quick kiss or two from the person who wouldn’t even look at her these days…

...and here was someone else going through the same thing.

“Spill it! Who made my favorite Omni-oppa cry? I’ll make her pay!”

“Stop,” he finally chuckles, the somber moment broken, as she grabs his arms and shakes him, “you’ll never get it out of me!”

“Tell me!”

“I’d rather die!”

“...oh my god, her name is in the book somewhere, isn’t it?”

“N-No wh-what makes you say-”

“OH MY GOD. GIMME!”

“YOO GAYOUNG!”

And for a brief moment of shared laughter, Gayoung felt a bit less like a monster.