A/N: I'm noting this before rather than after because this piece is a little bit iffy to me. I have a large chunk marked up and another highlighted on my workspace with a bunch of comments like "Expand this," or "Needs more development for the character," or etc. Frankly, Ya. It's not great but it was a great test run for a different kind of tone and style I want to use for LHC... To say I am stuck would be the biggest understatement. I hope you can forgive me for not having this more fleshed out as a response to 1 AM :3

Seungwan should have seen it coming. Should have known. She's a nobody to the school, an oddball. It doesn't stop the feeling of her heart dropping to her stomach making her sick. She should have seen it coming.

    “Seungwan!” Joohyun calls after her.

    “What?”

    “I-”

    “Just say it,” Seungwan demands. “Talk to me.” Joohyun turns away from Seungwan. Seungwan watches her, conflicted and hurt.

"Joohyun. Joohyun talk to me!" Seungwan pleads.

"Do you remember the time Marcie swallowed four marbles in fifth grade?" Seungwan asks.

"Oh my god, yes!" Joohyun snorts. Their teacher had lost it, telling Marcie to go to the nurse, talking to the parents, trying to tell a bunch of fifth-graders to not follow through on stupid bets. In hindsight, it's hilarious.

"Mrs. Web almost cried." Both girls fall into a fit of laughter. Seungwan can't stop the tears rolling down her cheeks as she gasps for air between laughs. They've been retelling old school stories for the past hour instead of watching their movie. 

They calm down, collecting themselves from the chaos of an hour of laughing. Joohyun rests her head on Seungwan’s shoulder. "God, those days were so much easier…" 

Seungwan takes a deep breath, "Ya. Now it's homework, grades, reasons for colleges to like you, and looking for work." 

Joohyun wraps her arms around Seungwan, hugging her like a teddy bear. "I miss it so much." They fall into a comfortable silence.

"You know Max?" Joohyun asks. "He asked me out on Thursday."

"He what?"

"Asked me out. I've barely ever talked to him!" Joohyun admonishes.

"What did you say?"

"I said no, of course. He's a tool and he doesn't know me. I would have just been a name for his list." Joohyun sighs.

"Boys are gross."

"They really are." 

They eventually get to the movie. Joohyun pulls a blanket over herself and burrows into Seungwan’s side. That's how it goes. Seungwan sinks into the couch, letting Joohyun’s warmth comfort her, taking in the bright interior and cleanliness of Joohyun's home. 

Seungwan spends the night and most of Saturday at Joohyun’s. They work on homework.

Seungwan is busy switching out books in her locker early Monday morning. "Hey, Wen!" Seulgi greets as she skips over. 

"Hey, Seul! Good weekend?"

"Yup, work is fun when it's with pets." 

Seungwan zips up her bag and closes her locker. She stands to join Seulgi, "That's nice, is Hyun here yet?"

"No, I didn't see her car when I parked. Did you guys hang out?"

"Of course, we watched that new horror movie that came out. I don't think Hyun watched any of it." They walk away from her locker to the tables under the large canopy that forms the majority of the school's upper quad and upperclassman lunch area. Seulgi plops down on the nearest table. 

Joohyun joins them five minutes later, "morning!" She chirps. Seungwan has sworn up and down that both Joohyun and Seulgi are actually demons. No one is that bright at six in the morning. Joohyun sits next to Seungwan, leaning against her. "Morning Wannie," she whispers. 

"Morning Hyun." They lean their heads together for a brief second before sitting back up. 

The First-period bell rings minutes later, Seulgi parts way heading for the science building leaving Seungwan and Joohyun to walk together to their first class.

Seungwan’s week continues on, normal. Spending time with her friends, Joohyun by her side sharing inside jokes and speaking through looks only they can understand. It’s all Seungwan needs. All she wants so she can get through high school in one piece. 

Joohyun gets pulled away from their group in the middle of break the next week. Seungwan watches her talk animatedly to a girl she doesn’t recognize. Joohyun has always been more popular than her. She comes back to the group distracted, hardly paying attention to the conversation, and on the opposite side of the circle from Seungwan. She doesn’t show up for lunch. Joohyun doesn’t text Seungwan to let her know and while not a big deal, even Seulgi comments on the odd absence and lack of explanation. It shouldn’t worry Seungwan, but she watches the quad, looking around to spot Joohyun if she should suddenly show up with a reasonable reason for being late. Joohyun brushes off the absence the next morning as “nothing,” earning a suspicious gaze from Seulgi. 

There have never been secrets between Joohyun and Seungwan, they’ve always been the first to know everything about each other. But with Joohyun’s random lunch disappearances becoming a more regular part of the week, Seungwan feels like her friend is less of a best and more of a… common? Their Fridays are awkward, Joohyun keeping more space between her and Seungwan and skirting around talking about her week. 

Seungwan is sitting with Seulgi early Thursday morning. They didn’t see Joohyun for break or lunch on Wednesday. Seungwan rests her head on her hand, fighting off sleep while waiting for first period. She catches sight of Joohyun walking to her locker with a group of girls and a boy with his arm wrapped around her shoulder. Seungwan sits up straight, watches as Joohyun returns from around the corner and heads towards the ASB office, completely forgetting about her and Seulgi. Seungwan glances to see if Seulgi noticed but the other girl has her head resting on her binder facing the other way. Why wouldn’t Joohyun want to tell her about going on dates? Or having a boyfriend? She keeps those thoughts to herself.

    Joohyun greets her as they walk into the English building together. She smiles like nothing is going on, and walks next to Seungwan all the same. It unsettles something deep in the pit of Seungwan’s gut. 

    “Hey!” Seungwan jogs to catch up with Joohyun as they leave class. “Joining us for lunch?” 

    “Of course!” Joohyun replies like she hasn’t missed any lunches in the past two and a half weeks. “I have chem, I’ll see you later!” She walks off without waiting for Seungwan to say goodbye, not a single look or glance between them. 

    Seungwan is acutely aware of the students walking around her. Conscious of their looks, movements, how they talk, or dress. She always has been, but Joohyun’s sudden change has her analyzing everything about herself and where she is in the world. It’s suffocating being so aware. 

    Joohyun is already sitting at the table with Seulgi and Yeri, laughing over something Seulgi is saying. Seungwan smiles and walks over, sitting down next to Joohyun. Joohyun scoots over, giving Seungwan space. Seungwan zones out, the conversation fades into the background. Joohyun talks to everyone at the table, laughs and comments on whatever they say. Joohyun looks at her once, briefly, and turns back to Sooyoung. Seungwan’s stomach sinks further.

    “Hey, you okay over there?” Seulgi draws everyone’s attention to Seungwan. “You look like you’re going to be sick?”

    “I, uh-” Seungwan gathers her books from the table and slings her bag over her shoulder. “I- ya- I have to go.” She walks off, gets away from the anxiety of feeling like an intruder at a table she doesn’t belong. She makes her way to the bathroom, shuts herself in a stall, and sits on top of the toilet lid. It feels wrong. So, so wrong. She pulls through the rest of the day by sheer will power. 

Seungwan isn’t one to believe in “vibes” or “feelings,” but walking onto campus Friday morning feels off. The campus feels big, making Seungwan feel small and like she’s drowning. It’s like the world knows that something terrible will happen. Seungwan joins Seulgi wordlessly at the table, rests her head on her books to catch some shut-eye before first period. She hears Joohyun join them, listens to her ask “is Seungwan asleep?” and a garbled “I think so” from Seulgi. Seungwan keeps her eyes shut, feigning unconsciousness as she listens to Joohyun talk to Seulgi about her “Important Friday plans” and Seulgi ask “Does Seungwan know?” It’s a punch to the gut. 

    The bell wakes her up and she walks silently with Joohyun, not sparing a glance in her direction. Class is boring and Seungwan spaces out a quarter of the way through. On her way out, Joohyun catches up to her, “Hey.”

    “Hey.” Seungwan is curt. She keeps walking out the side door and towards the stairs to the upper quad, “I thought you should know I can’t do our Friday night movie today. I really want to but I have family plans.”

    Seungwan stops at the corner of the English building and next to the stairs. She turns to face Joohyun, “Sure.” She turns and leaves Joohyun at the bottom of the stairs.

Warped, that’s what her world becomes. She feels like she is drowning in an ocean so small only she can fit. The familiarity that once brought comfort becomes overbearing and irritating. She is hyper-aware of how crowded campus is during the passing period, how suffocating it is to be bumped into and cut off. Her normal paths to class feel like she’s lost in the world’s most mundane maze of off-greys and muted browns. It’s the worst week. 

    Joohyun joins them at lunch on Thursday. She’s all energetic and vague, talking about “this weekend” and “can’t wait.” Seungwan keeps her head down and eyes closed. 

    “Is she asleep again?” Joohyun asks.

    “Ya, she’s been having a rough time lately,” Seulgi informs her. There’s a deafening silence that follows. Seungwan can feel their looks on her. “I know, you don’t have to give me that look. I’ll talk to her after the party this Friday.” 

    “Oh, are you going to Jackson’s party too?” Sooyoung asks.

    “Ya, I was personally invited.”

    Yeri whistles, “Very fancy.” It’s light and teasing in an insinuating way that Seungwan doesn’t want to think about. Seulgi shakes her awake at the end of lunch.

    Seungwan spends her Friday with the engineering club instead. Ditches break and lunch with everyone to spend it with the one group of people she seems to fit in with. She asks about “the party” which Glenn, the club president, says he’s going too and gives her the address if she wants to join him. 

The party started around eight. Seungwan shows up closer to ten. The house vibrates with loud music and kids spill out the front door and down the steps. Seungwan is way out of place. She takes careful steps into the house. Students are crammed into every corner, beer cans, or red solo cups in hand. The music is near deafening. Seungwan wanders through the party, ignored by everyone as she seeks out Joohyun or Seulgi or anyone she may know. She spots Joohyun out on the balcony, the same boy’s face pressed into her neck and surrounded by a group of people. Seungwan walks through the kitchen to the back door that is wide open. She comes to a stop, overhearing Joohyun.

    “You mean Seungwan?”

    “Seungwan? Is that her name? Doesn’t she go by, like, Wendy or something?” A girl asks.

    “Don’t you hang out with her or something?” another girl asks.

    “She’s so weird.” 

    “Oh god no, and yes. I only keep her around because I basically have to. Family thing,” Joohyun says. The girls all laugh.

    “Hey, isn’t tha-”

    Seungwan turns away from the door and is charging back through the crowd of people. She passes Seulgi, “Hey! Seungwan!” Seungwan ignores Seulgi’s call and makes a beeline for the front door. 

She can’t breathe. The amount of people is only making it harder. The lights are too bright, the rooms start to spin and look like one of those perception fun houses. She has to get out, she has to leave, but everyone is in her way, looking at her funny as she elbows and pushes through the crowd to get out as fast as possible. She’s not totally aware anymore, faces are fuzzy and she feels someone grab her arm, maybe Joohyun? Maybe Seulgi or Sooyoung. She can’t make out the voice, just a muffled form of her name before she yanks her arm back out of their grasp and bursts through the open front door. 

She nearly trips racing down the stairs. She stumbles across the front lawn, her legs heavy and jello-like. She wants nothing more than the collapse onto the ground and curl up into herself. Melt into the ground. Forget it all exists and cease to exist. She makes it halfway across the yard.

“Seungwan!” Joohyun calls after her.

    “What?”

    “I-”

    “Just say it,” Seungwan demands, anger bubbling up. “Talk to me.” Joohyun’s expression goes through a myriad of emotions before she turns away. The drawn-out silence breaks Seungwan’s resolve. Her anger dissipates into despair. Every second of silence confirms her worst fear, making her more desperate for Joohyun to turn around and just tell her.

"Joohyun! Joohyun talk to me!" Seungwan pleads.

Anyways... Whoops? Will try and get this all done... Idk how many side projects it'll take to get the actual story done but :/ Watch me trash it because it's the biggest roadblock of a story ever >:(