sweet pea; /swiːt piː/; forever grateful

“so much to be grateful for”

It was already ten, the night sky looming with dozens of stars when Mi Joo has finally returned home. Throughout the rest of her time in the flower arrangement club, she seemed bothered and distracted. This led to her not being as focus as she usually was when she studied in a nearby café.

And this was all due to none other than Mark Tuan.

How dare of he to make such an accusation?

Mi Joo was furious just thinking about it again as she slammed her room shut.

She sprawled on her bed though it was an unwise decision to do so given that she had not change into a clean set of clothes. She would have to change her bedsheet later. For now, she needed to recollect her thoughts.

When she told him to forget about it this morning, it was not only a reminder to him but to herself as well.

Easier said than done.

Mi Joo wanted to but those haunting memories were not that easy to forget. It kept reminding how she was a failure, how she was worthless and how she was just not good enough.

To be stuck in this very room was already a reminder itself.

Every other day, flashbacks of that tragedy began unfolding. Nervous sweats were slowly forming on her forehead as various scenes leading up to that mishap were appearing in her mind. She remembered how smooth the flooring was, how everyone had their attention on her and how she could hear the beat of the music starting at any moment.

And her mind went blank.

Improvise.

That was her initial thought.

However, Mi Joo stood rooted to the ground instead. She physically could not do so. She was a step-by-step girl. She precisely followed instructions from head to toe. To simply improvise on the spot, her body and mind were rejecting the idea of it.

If only she were to do something back then.

Anything.

Would it still cause the same effects on her?

Mi Joo shut her eyes tight, placing a hand over her racing heart. Taking in a few deep breaths, she was now calmer. The images were slowly erasing off her mind but who knew when it would happen again.

The reflection of the silver moon casted in her room, giving some brightness in the very dark space. The light was minimal but it still gave her some hope and faith that things would change and it would get better over time.

Mi Joo knew going there was a grave mistake since she had just managed to compose herself. And yet she still took out a random disk, inserting it into the disk drive. The fire in her eyes were distinct and clear then, was it even still here?

Of course she knew. She was in a state of denial all along. She even felt it burning stronger than ever when she was in the dance studio.

Why was she afraid then?

As what Mark had answered, Mi Joo was a coward. She was letting her fear get the better of her. She could not let herself go through the pain she was dealing with once more. It was not worth experiencing the sufferings again if she were to take the risk.

But she missed dancing so much. She missed how her toes would curl when it first touched the cool flooring. She missed how her once straightened hair would always be in a mess when she finished her rehearsal. She missed how she felt the burning desire to be better. Dancing gave her life. It gave her purpose.

The stage never let her down. It never had in the beginning.

And that was why Mi Joo was determined to make the first step of change.

When Mi Joo first announced to Kei and Su Jeong that she was going to perform for the school festival, their surprise reactions did not faze her at all. It was expected given how she abruptly told them such a big news. And to make it bigger, she was also helping Mark out. With her having a huge role to play for the school festival, she would have to spend her Thursdays with the dance club now.

“I apologise for not being able to help for the preparations.”

“Don’t worry, Mi Joo unnie. We’re almost done with it anyway.”

“If