The bar was bustling and I sat there, chewing on my fingernails anxiously as Amanda sat beside me. I looked around the bar warily, my hand grabbing my phone to bring it up to my face to see that Jeno had sent me a text. My last text with him was that I had to study for finals and Jeno replied with a simple: Sure. See you tomorrow.

I have been with Jeno for one year and a half… ish? I don’t remember. I just remember that I have been with Jeno for more than 8 hours a day every single day since he had come back and today would be the first time, I lied to him. To be fair, I only did it because Amanda said she wanted a friend for a double date and I told her that I would help her out. But that didn’t stop me from nudging the female, grabbing Amanda’s hand, and whispering to her.

“Amanda!” I said, lowering my voice. The boys that came with her had gone to get drinks and I sniffed. “I know this isn’t wrong but why does this not feel right?”

“Come on, Bunny! You promised! You told me that you’d help me out—Besides, it’s not like you’re ever going to see them again. Also, I ditched Suzy for you, remember?” she told me and I chewed on my bottom lip. “Quiet now, they are coming.”

I blinked, two very tall men coming to slide onto the bar seats. They had biker jackets and the only thing I knew about them were that they were once students from Pledis Highschool and were now studying at Big Hit University. I my lips nervously, the men placing the beer onto the table in front of us, Amanda beaming at them.

“Thanks, Mingyu… and Wonwoo,” she said to them and I shook my head, telling them that I didn’t drink. Guilt was gnawing me inside out and all I wanted to do was rush back into the safety of Jeno’s arms but I really wanted friends and if this was the only way to do it, I would try my hardest. “Uh… Bunny…”

“I’ll have coffee,” I said and Wonwoo frowned at me.

“This is a bar,” he pointed out. It was obvious that Wonwoo didn’t want to be here either and he was just there to humor Mingyu who was louder and already drunk. Wonwoo didn’t pressure me, the male shrugging nonchalantly and sitting by me when he smirked. “What’s a girl like you going on a double date?”

I hated how his voice was, the male reaching out to drag a finger over my arm. I squirmed, passing him a glare. I wasn’t dumb. I knew what men thought when it came with double dates. They always thought that those who went on double dates, especially in bars, were looking to get some. I pressed my lips together, telling him the truth.

“I’m taken,” I said simply, my eyes darting back and forth when Wonwoo scoffed.

“Looking to cheat on the poor guy?” he asked and I shook my head aggressively.

“No! Nothing of that sort!” I gasped, Amanda chuckling from the side. I looked towards her to see Mingyu nibbling on her earlobe as she squealed. Oh, she loved the attention from him, didn’t she? Mingyu was handsome, had to give it to him… But he wasn’t Jeno.

“Oh, loosen up, Bunny,” Amanda whispered.

“Loosen up? I am very loose, thank you very much!” I whispered under my breath. “You are a bad influence. I take that back, I feel like I’m suffocating, Amanda!”

“Oh my god, Bunny. You’re no fun!”

“Fine!” I whisper-yelled, scrunching my nose up at the woman.

I felt an arm wrap around me and I stiffened up, Wonwoo’s hands sliding past my back when the door of the bar opened and I shifted in my seat so he would get the hint when I heard a voice call my name.

“Bunny?” A voice asked and I whipped my head around to see a familiar face walk through the doors, the tall and muscular male frowning at me. The new comer looked over at me, his eyes narrowing over at Wonwoo beside me.

“OPPA!” I screeched suddenly, throwing Wonwoo’s hand away and rushing over to the male. “JOHNNY OPPA!!!”

“Kim Bunny… I know those pigtails anywhere,” Johnny mused and I saw that he had a phone in his hand. I began to panic, shaking my head.

“Oppa! Do not tell Jeno, oh my god. He’s going to be soooo mad! What did you do? Text him? Call him?” I demanded, Johnny simply staring at me.

“I didn’t yet but….” His voice trailed and I blinked, Johnny jerking a finger over his shoulder. “But, Bunny. I came with your brother.”

“OH MY GOD!” I squealed, hopping to the side and hiding behind Johnny just to see that Doyoung was by the entrance of the bar. Doyoung stepped in and I grabbed Johnny by the waist, trying to hide my small frame behind him when Doyoung stopped in front of Johnny, asking him if he found a table when he paused.

“Johnny, did you bring a woman?” Doyoung asked when Johnny shook his head, his hand grabbing the top of my arm to pull me away from him.

“Get off me, Kim Bunny.” It was obvious Johnny didn’t want to have anything to do with this, the male trying to get me to face my brother but I refused to move so he brought me to the front while I peeked at Doyoung through my fingers.

“Bunny? What—Does Jeno know?” Doyoung demanded and I sniffled, shaking my head with shame. “What in the world are you doing here!”

“Oppa!” I wailed, shaking my head. “Please do not tell Jeno! Don’t tell my boyfriend—”

“You won’t have a boyfriend if he finds out.”

So, I screamed.

“IT WAS ALL AMANDA! AMANDA!”

“Amanda? The one who used to be a bystander when Suzy bullied you? I thought I told you she was a bad influence!” Doyoung exclaimed and I blinked. “You lied to Jeno because of Amanda?”

“I’m sorry!”

“Well, Kim Bunny. You better come up with another lie because Jeno is on the way right now.”

“How does he know? Did you tell him?”

“Not me,” Doyoung said, shaking his head when Johnny’s voice spoke from behind me.

“Me.”

“Johnny Oppa!” I wailed once more, dragging a hand over my cheeks. I could feel my heart race at the thought of facing Jeno. An angry Jeno, at that. I grabbed Johnny’s arm shaking it violently.  “Oh my god, I hate the both of you! SO MUCH!”

“Get off me before I make you,” Johnny said, crossing his arms across his chest. “You lied, take accountability, Bunny.”

“Johnny Oppa, you got to protect me from Jeno! You gotta… You gotta….” I stuttered. “Oppa, you’re a police-to-be, why would you drag me through hot water like this!”

“Bunny,” Johnny quipped. “You are the criminal.”

“Oppa!” I gasped, about to cry when the door opened and I saw Jeno walk in.

Oh, Jeno looked pissed as .

“I sent a photo of you,” Johnny mused and I realized that Johnny simply enjoyed torturing people. I was about to run towards Jeno to calm him down, seeing the glint in his eye when two men approached me, Wonwoo asking me if I was alright so I instinctively grabbed Johnny instead.

He reached out to place a hand on my shoulder and I swatted it away, raising a hand to point a finger at him.

“You! Get awayyyyy!” I yelled, scooting over to the side. “Unless you really want to die! Before my boyfriend finds a way to destroy you—”

Wonwoo looked over at my brother, Doyoung raising two hands in the air and shrugging, as if saying that he wasn’t my boyfriend.

“That’s not my boyfriend, that’s my brother!”

We all then heard a snicker and I saw Johnny laughing, Wonoo raising an eyebrow at him

“How about him?”

“No, he’s the police!”

“Why are you hugging the police?” Wonwoo asked and I couldn’t help but cry, Jeno finally stepping forward. He wasn’t smiling and I could see that his fists were balled tight, Jeno keeping his eyes on Wonwoo.

“Who are you?” he asked, Wonwoo taking offense at Jeno’s tone, the taller male scoffing. He seemed to read the situation, but like what everyone said about Seventeen—which was a gang that was well known for their notorious loud bike racing and player image, they also were known for being troublemakers.

Just like every other gang out there.

And Wonwoo could have said that I told him I was single. He could have said that I swatted him away but nooooo, Wonwoo just had to smile and say things to make it worse.

“I’m her date,” he said, pointing at me.

“Oh my god. Listen, listen, listen, listen,” I mumbled to Jeno who wasn’t even looking at me. “Jeno! Listen, listen, listen, listen.”

I grabbed Jeno by the waist, hugging him and pressing my face against his chest to hear the hammering of his heart beat.

“Lee Jeno, listen to me—”

Jeno shook me away, grabbing me firmly and prying me off him just step forward. He pulled me behind him and raised his gaze, his eyes on Wonwoo.

“What date? Don’t you know she’s taken?”

“Taken?” Wonwoo asked. “That’s not what Amanda said.”

And that was when all hell broke loose.

Jeno couldn’t stop himself, my boyfriend grabbing Wonwoo by the collar as the atmosphere became heated. I could see another man by the door walk in and I recognized him as a Seventeen member, Mingyu also coming up from behind. All three of them were about to hurt Jeno when Johnny stepped forward.

Doyoung grabbed me and I could tell that it was a man fight that I shouldn’t be involved in.

“You know nothing about your girlfriend, do you?” Wonwoo egged on. “Why she’s here in a bar on a Thursday night. What did she say to you? What lie did she come up with?”

“Shut the up,” Jeno snapped before he was about to pull back when Doyoung butted in.

“Woah… Back it up, back it up, back it up.” But Doyoung was already holding the camera up in order to record it if ever a fight broke loose. I knew he was just waiting for it to happen so he would be able to twist it to look like they started it.

I knew how my brother worked.

“Jeno, I’m giving you one punch and then I’m pulling you back, okay? I am a… police officer-to-be, I should not be endorsing this behavior.” I heard Johnny say, glaring at them.

“Johnny, if you stop me, I don’t know what’s going to happen to you,” Jeno hissed.

Johnny stopped, blinking at the furious Jeno who had dropped honorifics. “Wow… He’s getting brave.”

Jeno and Wonwoo stared at each other, my boyfriend about to throw a punch when Mingyu scoffed, saying that they were cowards.

And Johnny was fast to react.

He threw the first punch towards Wonwoo, Jeno looking surprised at the sudden action when Mingyu and the other guy stepped forward to back up Wonwoo up.

“Oh well, I still don’t have my badge yet,” Johnny said, straightening up.

“Hoshi, let’s get them—” Mingyu said, Jeno swinging a punch towards him. It hit him square on the face and I screamed. I looked to the side to see that Doyoung was recording, my brother smiling to himself at the chaos when I realized that he and Johnny were already drunk and that was why they were acting the way they were.

My brother was amused.

“Stop them! Stop fighting!” My bottom lip trembled when I saw Jeno duck, Jeno turning to speak to me.

“Kim Bunny, the men are trying to have a conversation.”

“YOU CALL THIS A CONVERSATION?” I asked, my eyes widening at his words. Doyoung shushed me and told me to stay out of it.

“Come at me, boy,” Hoshi said, smirking and Jeno cracked his knuckles.

“Don’t have to tell me. I can do this all day.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I began to wail just to see Amanda come from the bathroom, the female freezing on the spot as she witnessed the boy’s fight.

“Well, ,” she squeaked and I pointed at her.

“Amanda! Amanda, you come back here!” I yelled and she shook her head. Before I knew it, she had slipped away and I was left to watch my boyfriend and Johnny, the police-to-be about to pounce. “Amanda, you coward! You promised! I trusted you!”

“You take one step closer to me and my girlfriend, I will kapow you to KWANGYA.” Jeno’s voice was low and dangerous but it spiked up confusion more than anger.

“What the is a KWANGYA?” Hoshi asked, Jeno waving a passing hand when Johnny spoke.

“There are three of you and two of us. If we’re going to take this outside, the least you can do is have a fair fight.” Johnny told them and Mingyu smirked. “You’re in our territory.”

“Your boy punched us first,” Mingyu said, pointing at Jeno. “He would be the one breaking the peace treaty.”

“You messed with his girlfriend. You should have done your research,” Johnny said back and realization flickered through his face. “You know you never touch those who are involved with our members—”

“I’m in a gang now?” I heard Jeno ask under his breath. “ing Kim Bunny got me a one-way ticket into a gang?!”

“I said I was sorry!”

“Let’s take it outside, then. Get another one of your minions to come. We should end it once and for all and call it a day.” Wonwoo concluded. Men were men and I knew sometimes fighting solved their problems.

“Oh, I will. But I would hardly call him a minion,” Johnny told them and before I knew it, we had taken it to the parking lot when the sound of a distant bike approached. I saw two people arrive, one of them holding a sandwich as he chewed on the bread and hopped off.

Mingyu seemed to have recognized him, his eyes narrowing at both of them.

“Lucas Wong,” he seethed.

“You called?” Lucas ignored Mingyu, Johnny nodding when Mingyu pointed at the guy eating the sandwich.

“You said one, why is Hendery here?”

“I’m here by association, not to fight,” Hendery replied, moving to the side. “Hey, bro.”

“Hey, Hendery,” Hoshi replied, earning a dirty look from his two friends for being friendly with the opponent’s side. “I mean, w-what are you looking at?”

“Jeez, so hostile. You weren’t that way when we went for McDonalds the other day,” Hendery replied, sipping his drink and I wondered where he suddenly whipped it out from. I saw Hoshi give him a soft smile and it was obvious that these two were friends despite their gang fights.

Doyoung was still recording and before I knew it, Lucas had stepped forward, his eyes strained on the people in front of him.

“Let’s go?” he asked Johnny who nodded.

“Let’s go,” Johnny concluded.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Ow, ow, ow, ow.” Jeno whimpered to me as I tried to wipe the side of his face, trying to dab the side of his lip with alcohol. I didn’t know how it worked. I didn’t know if they won or they lost, but all I knew was that it was a fight that had shed blood and it made me shudder. “Baby, not so hard—”

“I’m so sorry,” I said softly, dabbing the side of his lip as my boyfriend winced. He was hurt but so were the other people. He was sitting on my bed and I knew that he didn’t have to go anytime soon because Haechan was off somewhere Thailand. I sniffled, Jeno not saying anything when he reached out to brush my hair away from my face.

The scariest type of Jeno was the Jeno that was hard to read.

“Baby, I’m sorry,” I managed to say, grabbing his hand and bringing it up to my lips to kiss it softly but Jeno did not say anything and I knew deep down that it would take a while until he forgave me. Jeno, as nice and patient as he was towards me sometimes, knew that he had the power over me.

Because I loved him so much.

“We need to talk about this,” Jeno said and I blinked, feeling my bottom lip quiver at the idea. “Bunny, you can’t lie to me like this.”

“I didn’t want to—”

“I’m in a relationship with you because I want to feel safe and if I’m with you and still question what you’re doing, what’s the point?” Jeno asked and I paused. I gulped, my eyes at my boyfriend who sighed. I expected him to get mad but all Jeno did was reach out to grab my hand and pull me towards him. I toppled against his chest and he fell back onto his back, turning to the side just to grab the blanket to cover both of us.

He pressed his lips against my forehead and kissed me repeatedly before he tucked me in. I scampered towards him like he was the only one I wanted—which was true, Jeno pressed his shaped lips against mine before whispering to me.

“Tomorrow, okay? Tonight, we pause,” he said and I nodded, grateful that at this time, he had let it go and all I wanted was to be with him. He was Jeno. He smiled, his fingers brushing over my lips before he kissed me lightly and tucked me underneath his chin. “Tomorrow, we handle it.”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I guess I understood what Jeno meant by ‘tomorrow, we handle it.’ because the moment I woke up, I saw Jeno packing up the things he had left in my room. Since we had dated, he spent countless nights sleeping over to which, my brother allowed. Because of that, he had clothes and books over and the moment I opened my eyes, I saw him bent over my desk and keeping his books.

I shot up, wanting to run over to him when he spoke.

“I told you last night, didn’t I?” He asked and I found myself begging. Never in my whole life would I expect myself to beg but I did.

Because I loved him.

“After breakfast!” I exclaimed, Jeno staring at me. I saw that he was already changed and was ready to go back to Haechan’s house and I quickly went off the bed to grab his arm. “After breakfast, we’ll talk about it—”

“If you say so,” was all he said and before I knew it, breakfast was served to me in my room and Jeno sat in front of me as I munched on the toasted bread. He didn’t say anything, silently putting the jam on the toasted bread when I refused to finish it because I was scared of making breakfast end. He watched me quietly and I spoke.

“I’m eating.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he said and I blinked, looking down. “Finish it so we can talk.”

I sniffed and as much as I tried to prolong it, I finished the toast and I sat at the edge of the bed, my head hanging low.  

“Kim Bunny, explain yourself,” he said and I blinked, stuttering.

“I just… I just wanted friends!” I managed to say but my words seemed to have angered Jeno even more.

“Friends? I’m your friend—”

“Jeno, it’s not the same!” I said, exasperated. “I wanted to be normal. I wanted to have a person I could go to and be friends with them without my brother or with you up my . I wanted to have someone I could go “Hey, that’s my friend.” for once and not because you’re my boyfriend.”

“So, you lied?” Jeno asked simply and I found my eyes welling up with tears. “Kim Bunny, I—”

He paused and he stood before me, his arms on his hips before Jeno threw his hands in the air.

“I didn’t get into a relationship with you to doubt what I have with you,” Jeno told me. “I spent all my life doubting other people. Everyone else! I don’t need it with my own girlfriend! You tell me that you want to be normal but at what expense? My trust for you? Why couldn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was scared you wouldn’t be okay with it—”

“Baby, I just want you to be happy.” Jeno finally said and I saw how he turned away, showing that he was frustrated. “When I said I would take care if you, I meant it. But I can’t make sure you’re happy when you act like you can lie to me like this. How many times… How…”

He heaved a sighed and I didn’t dare say anything, Jeno rubbing his face with frustration.

“I need some time off,” he finally said and my eyes widened.

“W-What… What do you mean, time off?” I asked, Jeno shaking his head.

“I need time off, Bunny. From you,” he clarified and I found myself shaking, my head shaking aggressively.

“Jeno!”

“Bunny, I can’t love you like this,” he finally said and I found myself clawing for his warmth. I reached out to hug him but he moved away, his eyes determined. “I need to love myself, too.”

“Do I not love you enough—”

“Bunny, I didn’t get into a relationship for me to feel this abandoned,” he said and I found myself freezing in front of him. “My father did it to me, I don’t need to feel it from you, too.”

“Jeno, I didn’t…”

“Bunny, I—” The thing was, he didn’t look away when he said it. He simply looked me straight in the eye to tell me that he was tired. Do you know how hard it was to have the love of your life tired of you? The worst was that it was your fault. “Bunny, not today.”

“Jeno—”

“I need some time. Maybe when it’s time I’ll get back to you.”

“What does this mean, Jeno? What does this mean?”

“It means I need time,” Jeno said, turning on his heel, not even bothering to look at me. “It means that I need to get away from you until I’m okay.”

And before I knew it, he had walked out the door.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I took him for granted, didn’t I?

Those were the thoughts that echoed in my head while I stared at the ceiling. It had been two days—two days and I couldn’t sleep; I couldn’t eat and I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t have classes on Fridays and I sighed to myself, turning to stare at my phone screen just to see that I had not a single notification from Jeno.

I hated it, I hated fighting with Jeno and I knew that I deserved it.

I sat up, chewing on my bottom lip, my eyes going to the laundry basket that was filled with clothes. Okay, I guess that’s it. I guess I will have to do the laundry because I missed Jeno too much. I felt my bottom lip tremble and I was about to cry again so I stood up and grabbed the basket and headed to the laundry room.

While I loaded the clothes into the laundry machine, I felt sudden sadness wash over me and it didn’t take a minute for me to start bawling and I dropped to the ground, placing my head in the washing machine as my cries echoed in the hollow hole.

“Kim Bunny, what in the world are you doing? Why is your head in the washing machine?” I heard my brother ask when I was finally dragged away from the washing machine by the ankle. “He said he needs time; he didn’t say that you both were broken up—”

“OPPA!”

“Get off from the floor. Go and…touch some grass or I don’t know, take a walk.”

“I do not like walks!” I told my brother. “Oppa… Today, I washed my face with shampoo. My face smells like sakura, soft and silky—”

“Kim Bunny.” Doyoung’s face softened and he reached out to tell me that I had to learn how to handle my emotions. That Jeno was part of my life but I needed to understand that there was more than relationships and I found myself sulking back to my room.

The moment I reached my room, I grabbed my phone to stare at my contact list. Living the life as Kim Doyoung’s sister and the little sister of the Kim family has made my life very closely monitored and I was always escorted back and forth from school to home so I had little to no friends.

I swung my legs back and forth, finally grabbing my phone and going through my contacts when I finally saw a familiar name. My fingers hovered over the contact when I finally pressed down onto the screen to call the person—the female answering after three rings.

She sounded suspicious.

“Hello?” she asked and I said her name, my voice coming out as a wail and she paused. “Kim Bunny, are you sure you called the right number?”

“Jung Muffin!” I remember saying her name, I thought to myself. “I’m sorry I bullied you back in highschool!”

“Okay?” she said back. Muffin, Jung Jaehyun’s sister was incredibly introverted but she didn’t lack social skills. She had friends, a bunch of them and was very well-liked. I sniffled and she asked me a question. “Are you okay?”

I knew she was a smart one!

“I fought with Jeno,” I told her and despite me trying to bully her back in high school, Muffin sounded sympathetic and she sighed. “And I have no friends!”

“Hmm…” Her voice trailed and I knew she didn’t know what to do. Most people didn’t. Only Jeno did and he was on a break… from me!

“Where are you?” I asked, Muffin telling me she was home and I waited for her to invite me over but she didn’t. I frowned. Maybe she wasn’t as smart as I thought she was. “So… whatcha doing?”

“I…” There was a movement. “You want to come over?”

“YES!”

“You know where my house is, right?” she asked and I nodded, forgetting she couldn’t see me. I finally told her I’d go and see her and climbed out of bed. I finally put on a hoodie after checking the weather and made my way down the stairs. I waved to Doyoung, who seemed very relieved that I seemed a little bit happier than I was the past two days. I told him that I was going out and I realized that Doyoung had finally let Jeno take the wheel when I got into a relationship with him.

As my mind drifted off to Jeno, my eyes watered up once more and I shook my head, hiding my face and running out of the house to head to Muffin’s house. I finally reached her street and before I knew it, I saw her peek form her bedroom window. I waved at her, my eyes going to the side of the window sill and I grabbed the bars, heaving myself up.

Her eyes widened and she shook her head, but I was already on my way up and I shoved myself through her window, my body going face down onto her mattress with my feet in the air.

“Kim Bunny! My house has a front door, you know,” she said and I heard a male’s voice through the laptop by the side of the bed.

“Is she here? Oh, she’s here,” Mark said and I perked up. “Hey, Bunny. Yoooo!”

“Lee Mark?” I asked, Muffin telling me that it was late in Canada and they were catching up. It wasn’t long until I was tucked in her bed and telling her what I did, Mark giving out comments at the side. “And I don’t know, Muffin. I feel like such a bad person.”

“Maybe because you did something bad. But doing something bad does not mean you’re a bad person, Bunny,” Muffin said, trying to comfort me. “I mean, we all know how Jeno is. I’ve known him since high school. You weren’t in clubs or anything during high school so your paths didn’t cross until university but Jeno has always been very careful with the relationships he makes. He doesn’t take those relationships lightly.”

“That’s true,” Mark added and I fell quiet when the door opened and a head peeked into Muffin’s room, Jaehyun about to yell something out when he saw me.

“Muff—” He paused. “Kim Bunny? What are you doing here?”

“How many times do I have to tell you to knock?” Muffin grumbled and Jaehyun walked in. “She fought with Jeno.”

“Oh, yeah. I heard. Lucas and Johnny told me about it.” Jaehyun said and I frowned, Muffin mumbling something about a gang under her breath. “Heard you went out on a date with Wonwoo from SEVENTEEN. Not very nice, Bunny. Those people were in our territory.”

“Oppa!” His words made me feel worse and I couldn’t help but