Epilogue.

There was a spring in her step as she walked back from the store. The day overhead had already greyed and there were distant clouds that looked miserable enough to soon rain and it was so cold when she passed by a restaurant on the way home she could see her breath steaming up on the windowpanes but nothing could ruin her day. A thin sun hung loosely at the fringes of the world. She crossed over the street fifteen minutes south of her apartment in Sinsa and kept on going and soon it did indeed begin to rain and she was still smiling.

She crossed again, solitary against a crowd of ducking heads absent umbrellas and raincoats. The rain came down almost in a hail falling slanted like sleet and she didn’t mind. She passed on down the sidewalk and through the lobby of her apartment building and walked to the fifth floor with her keys jingling as she went. A man in a postal uniform was waiting for her by the door.

‘Can I help you?’ she said.

He looked at her and smiled apologetically. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘Do you live here?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Got a parcel for Bae Irene.’

‘That’s me.’

He passed her the little electronic device in his hand. ‘Sign here, please.’

‘What is it?’

‘Dunno. I just deliver the post. I don’t look inside.’

She signed and passed him back the stylus and he nodded to her and left the parcel propped against her apartment door and disappeared. It was a tall and narrow package wrapped in brown paper and it had a thin seam of tape all down the centre to hold the two folds in place. She hefted it off the floor in both hands and shook it around to see if it was chocolate but if it was then it was no chocolate she had ever seen before. It took a great deal of effort to fit it through her apartment door. She set it down on the sofa and took off her coat and dried her hair and boiled the kettle. For a while she just stood there behind the kitchen counter watching the parcel as if it might move. She was smiling again. The kettle boiled. She pulled out her phone and thumbed in the passcode and made a call and poured herself a coffee while it rang.

It rang six times. Then: ‘Hey.’

‘Is this yours, by any chance?’

‘Is what mine?’ Seulgi said.

‘Are you smiling?’

‘What?’

‘I can hear you smiling over the phone.’

‘I’m not smiling.’

‘Yeah you are.’

‘No I’m not. I promise.’

‘Is this yours?’

‘Again – is what mine?’

‘You know what.’

Seulgi stifled a laugh. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ she said.

‘Uh huh. Have you been outside in this rain?’

‘No, I’ve been stuck in my apartment all day. Well, not stuck. I mean, it was by choice. Figured I didn’t wanna go out until I needed to. I can subsist on rice and beans for, like, a year. Or more. You know that. Are we still on for dinner tonight?’

‘Yeah,’ Irene said, sipping her coffee. ‘Of course.’

‘Alright, sweet. Eight, yeah?’

‘Eight sounds good.’

‘Okay. I’ve gotta run. I’m gonna shower real quick and then I’ll meet you there.’

‘Alright. See you soon. Love you.’

‘Love you too. Oh, and Irene.’

‘What?’

‘You’re welcome.’

She set the phone done and blew on her coffee and drank. It was almost six already. The parcel called to her. She grabbed a boxcutter from the top drawer and sliced away the layer of tape and peeled the package paper off and then she stood back and laughed.

‘Damn,’ she said.

It was a portrait of her, framed in bronze. Face, eyes, everything from the waist up, with one arm draped casually over the back of a chair, a sort of side portrait of her at her kitchen table. Even the wood looked meticulously painted on. And there was an apple, too, painted there on the tabletop. She was wearing a jacket she’d never worn before in real life but hey, artistic liberties. Truth is stranger than fiction, fiction is sweeter than truth. And in the bottom right corner, in hastily scribbled ink: KSG.

‘Damn,’ she said again. And it was a long time before she stopped smiling.

The only thing she could think of saying for a good twenty minutes was: ‘You look incredible.’

‘Thanks,’ Seulgi said with a giggle.

‘No, seriously, you look…. wow.’

‘I know. You keep mentioning it.’

‘I mean…’

It was a black strapless dress and her hair was tied back and she had on the little diamond hoops that Irene always liked her in and god did she smell so good and Irene couldn’t look away, not even for a second, not even when their food arrived.

‘So,’ Seulgi said, ‘did you like it?’

‘Like what? Oh, the portrait?’

‘C’mon, really? You’re gonna do me like that?’

‘I like it.’

‘That it?’

Irene smirked. ‘I love it,’ she said. ‘It’s amazing. Looks just like me. I had no idea you were planning on drawing me.’

‘Thought I’d surprise you with a little something. Glad you like it, though.’

‘Food’s good.’

Seulgi laughed.

‘What?’

‘Food’s good? Really?’

‘What else do you want me to say?’

‘How about anything?’

‘Look, I’m sorry. I’m not good at this whole…’

‘Smalltalk thing?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I know,’ Seulgi said. ‘You never were, either.’

‘Just one of those things about me.’

‘Are we gonna move back in together?’

Irene choked on a piece of steak. ‘What?’ she said. ‘That’s a bit…soon, isn’t it?’

‘Is it? Honestly?’

She thought about it. She thought about it some more. And some more. Then with a smile she said, ‘I don’t know. Maybe not.’

‘I missed you. I was sat earlier yesterday at my desk and I realised just how much I really did miss you these past two years. Like, so ing much you don’t even realise. Or maybe you do. I dunno.’

‘I missed you too.’

‘Seriously, I used to do things where I’d be, like, washing my plate in the sink after I’d eaten dinner and I’d just stand there and gaze off into space and be like…Irene used to do this.’

‘Yeah, I always did clean up after you, didn’t you?’

‘Not what I meant, but ha-ha, very funny.’

‘I know what you mean though,’ Irene said.

‘Yeah?’

She nodded. ‘I felt the same. Felt really guilty about it, too.’

‘Why didn’t you ing call, then?’

‘I don’t know. I really don’t. I said this the other week but I honestly don’t know. It was like I had this boundary up or something. Like I thought I’d be crossing a line better left uncrossed. Now I realise how stupid that was.’

‘Yeah. A little.’

‘You did the same.’

‘I know. And I shouldn’t have done that.’

Irene nodded and chewed. Outside the sun had swam away and the night returned and it had stopped raining. Seulgi took out her phone and scrolled through something and held it up so Irene could see it better.

‘What?’

‘Have you seen this?’ Seulgi asked. She pointed to a news article. The title read: ‘Wonder Detective Saves Korea From Murderous Disaster!’

‘Jesus,’ Irene said. ‘Murderous Disaster? What did I save them from? And how did I save Korea? That’s so stupid. Seriously, who the is hiring these people? And not just hiring them but paying them too. Paying them good money as well. Journalism’s not cheap. And the best they can do is these illiterate cretins, who wouldn’t know a real “disaster” if it hit them in the face. Who the hell wrote this piece of— oh. It was Wendy, wasn’t it?’

Seulgi giggled. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Yes it was.’

‘Of course.’

‘Are you gonna do an interview with her?’

‘Yeah. She’s going to come round sometime next weekend and ask me some questions. Don’t know what about, but whatever. She’s nice. She said she was going to base a character in her next novel off me. And one off of you as well.’

‘Me? Really?’

‘Yeah,’ Irene said.

‘What’s the book called?’

‘Death By A Thousand Poisons.’

‘What? Really? Is it based off of what happened? Because it was just the one poison. Well, two, I suppose. But still. Not a thousand.’

‘I’m guessing it’s metaphorical. Like The Man With The Iron Arms.’

‘Didn’t the man with the iron arms literally have iron arms?’

‘I can’t remember. I haven’t read it.’

‘Huh.’

‘What?’

‘Nothing,’ Seulgi said. ‘Have you heard anything from any of the others? From everyone that was at the dinner party, I mean.’

‘A couple,’ said Irene. ‘Wheein sent me a thank you letter in the post, presumably for sorting everything out and realising that she didn’t kill him. Sent be a bottle of whiskey, too, to no surprise at all. And the letter was barely a letter. Just a couple lines, really, and all it said was, “Thanks” and some other boring stuff. But it also came with a neat iTunes gift card.’

‘, really?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You gonna spend it?’

‘Don’t know. I don’t really use iTunes.’

‘Does anyone anymore?’

‘No idea. I’m not up to date with the times.’

Seulgi nodded. As if this were the most interesting thing in the world. Irene took a moment to chew her steak and look around. The restaurant was a long and narrow thing with a bar right at the front and a low set of reddish lights. A homely atmosphere to it. It smelt of cedarwood and burgers. She said, ‘Lisa said thank you, too. No idea how she got my number, but I guess future CEOs have access to all the phone records now or something.’

‘That’s creepy as .’

‘Yeah.’

‘What did she say?’

‘Just the same, really. Thank you, blah blah. Sounded quite reluctant to say it, too. Almost as if she couldn’t be bothered and it was a formality. A professional courtesy or something. But whatever.’

‘Any of the others?’

Irene shook her head. ‘Nothing,’ she said. ‘Not from Jisoo or Jennie or Mr Jang, not that I was expecting anything from Mr Jang, of course. And Sooyoung and Rosie go without saying.’

‘Have they been charged yet?’

‘I don’t know. Haven’t really been paying attention.’

‘Got a new case already?’

‘No,’ Irene said. ‘I’m taking a break for a while.’

‘Wait, really?’

‘Yeah. What? Why?’

‘You, taking a break?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Never seen that before.’

‘I’m a changed woman,’ Irene said shyly.

‘So what were you planning on doing on your break? Or are you just gonna take some time off and chill?’

‘I figured…you know.’

‘What?’

Irene shrugged, a girlish nervousness to her.

‘What?’

‘I figured maybe we could go on holiday,’ she said. ‘I know, I know – it’s stupid. You’ve got work and we’ve only been back together for, like, two weeks, and we’re not even technically back together, but I just thought maybe…you know.’

Seulgi was silent. She forked up a couple of fries on her plate and dipped them in barbecue sauce and broke into a smile that had her whole round face glowing. ‘Where were you thinking?’ she said.

‘I don’t know. Didn’t think that far ahead. Somewhere with nice weather. And no thunderstorms.’

‘Jeju?’

‘Maybe.’

‘What about Bali?’

‘Do you think I’m made of money or something?’

‘How about the Maldives, then?’

‘Even more expensive,’ Irene said. ‘I don’t know. I was thinking more…the beach.’

‘The beach.’

‘Sure.’

‘Well,’ Seulgi said.

‘Well what?’

‘Bali’s got a beach. Got quite a few beaches, actually. In fact it’s practically just all beach. And some beach houses, too, I suppose.’

‘Suppose you’re right. Bali it is, then.’

‘When can we go?’

‘When can you book off work?’

‘Whenever,’ Seulgi said. Irene nodded. Her hands were shaking and when she went to pick up her knife and fork she realised this very suddenly and it made her blush. Merely the fact that Seulgi still had that effect on her at twenty-nine years old and likely always would.

‘Irene.’

‘What?’

‘I just want to say thank you,’ Seulgi said.

‘For what?’

‘For everything. I know this is gonna sound weird but I’ve had the past two weeks to think about it and I figured I’d say something. I wanna be open and transparent. I want that to be us now.’

‘Okay.’

‘All that stuff you said that night, about how I should stop comparing myself to other people and start looking inwards, about how all that ever does is bring on envy and jealousy and whatever else, that really stuck with me. I don’t know why, because it’s not some new concept or anything, but it did. Maybe it’s because it came from you, and I’m more inclined to listen to you. I dunno. But what I do know is that for a long time I’ve been struggling with that and all the that happened at Mr Kim’s was really taking a toll on me and god, I swear I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown or something. So, thank you. Even if you didn’t mean to do anything, you did. You helped. A lot.’

‘Thank you.’

‘For what?’

‘For doing the same right back at me. When I had that little moment and said that I couldn’t it, that I was useless as a detective, that I couldn’t even stop a man from dying at a party I was at – and then you came and told me it was all bull and I was good and I knew what I was doing. It might not have meant much from your point of view but it meant a hell of a lot to me. I don’t get a lot of positive reinforcement usually in private investigation work. It’s a very lonely job.’

‘You’re like a dog.’

‘What?’

‘Needing positive reinforcement, I mean. I didn’t mean it as an insult, although thinking about it…yeah, I can see why you’d think that. Jesus. Sorry.’

Irene just laughed.

‘And I’m sorry for when I got angry at you and called you selfish.’

‘It’s okay.’

‘And I’m sorry for complaining even when there was a dead body next to us and we should’ve been focusing on that and not our relationship problems from two ing years ago.’

‘That’s okay too.’

‘And I’m also sorry for calling you a pillow princess.’

‘Ah, now that I can’t forgive.’

Seulgi broke out into a giggle that had her cheeks blushing the faintest of pinks. ‘Sorry,’ she muttered.

‘Yeah. You’re going to have to make it up to me.’

‘I will. I promise.’

‘Maybe we should move into together again.’

‘What, so I can make it up to you?’

‘No. I just meant in general, I think we should.’

‘Yeah?’

Irene shrugged, her best air of nonchalance to the giddiness in her heart, the trembling of her hands. ‘I think it’d be good for the both of us,’ she said. ‘Just being around you again makes me feel at ease.’

‘That’s the nicest thing I think anyone’s ever said about me. Even if it is a little hipster.’

‘Hipster?’

‘Just a smidge,’ Seulgi said. ‘You know? Peace and one love. Inner calm, and all that jazz.’ Then, when Irene had tucked into another mouthful of food: ‘What about the police? Are they gonna call you in as a witness?’

‘Presumably, yeah. And you too, I expect. Have you not heard anything yet?’

‘No. Should I be worried?’

‘No. This stuff takes a long time. Like, a really, really long time. It’s ridiculous. The justice system needs a complete reworking.’

‘Well, you’d know about that better than me, and to be honest I’d rather leave it that way.’

Irene smiled.

‘What?’

‘Nothing. I was just thinking I really want to kiss you right now but we’re in public.’

‘You can still kiss me.’

‘Later.’

‘Is that a promise?’

Irene just smiled again. The next time they were interrupted was by the waitress bringing them a small bucket filled with ice and two tall unopened bottles of wine. She held it out for Irene to take but Irene did not. She just stared at it dumbly.

‘Sorry,’ Seulgi said, ‘I think you’ve got the wrong table. We didn’t order any wine.’

‘Oh, sorry,’ the waitress said. ‘Are you not Irene and Seulgi?’

‘We’re— how do you know our names?’

The waitress smiled politely and passed the bucket to Seulgi. ‘A gift from that lady over there at the bar,’ she said. ‘Both bottles are 1949 Domaine Leroy Musigny Grand Cru. A burgundy red from France.’

‘Domaine who? From what? And where?’

The waitress repeated herself twice.

Seulgi pulled one of the bottles out of the ice and set it on the table. The bottom of it smoked bluely with the cold and the entire bottle was chilled such that it looked like red ice there in the bottle. ‘How much does this stuff cost?’ she said.

‘These are the only two bottles we’ve had in stock for over a year now. They’re usually only reserved for special customers, or special orders. Eleven million won per bottle.’

Seulgi’s face mirrored Irene’s. ‘Eleven million won?’ she said. ‘Two bottles as well? Are you ing kidding me?’

‘We can’t take this,’ Irene said.

‘Damn right we can’t take this. Twenty-two million won on wine. That’s, like, almost what I make in a year. On wine!’

‘We didn’t order this,’ Irene said politely.

The waitress smiled at them and took the empty bucket away and said, ‘These are courtesy of the lady at the bar. She’s paying for them. She also told me to give you this note.’

She took a folded piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Irene and smiled again and told them to enjoy their drinks and then she was gone. Seulgi glanced at Irene dumbly over the table. She unfolded it and read it and glanced up at the bar and laughed.

‘What?’ Seulgi said. Then her eyes trailed to where Irene was looking.

Yeri was sat on one of the tall bar stools with a cocktail in hand. When she saw them look her way she raised her glass with a little smirk as if to toast them and all Irene could do back was laugh.

‘What?’ Seulgi said. ‘Yeri? What the is she doing here?’

‘I may have let slip that we were going for a meal tonight.’

‘What? You were talking to her? What happened to, “I haven’t spoken to any of the others?”’

‘Yeah, that didn’t include Yeri.’

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’

Irene shrugged. ‘She’s nice,’ she said. ‘As a friend, I mean. Much nicer than she lets on. Like, much much nicer. Almost charming, really.’

‘What does the note say?’

Irene read it again, this time aloud. ‘Says: Thanks for all your help in finding out who offed my granduncle. Means a lot. And I mean it this time. Enjoy this, you’ve earnt it. PS. Never thought I’d be spending my inheritance money on French wine for two people I’d never even met a month ago, but hey, here we are. And I’m practically a billionaire now, so it, why not? Well, for a while, I suppose, until I give it all to charity. That was serious, by the way. Yes, I can be nice sometimes.  I am planning on giving it to charity. I ing hate rich people. They make my skin crawl. PPS. Make it last, because it’s not exactly cheap. Love you both. PPPS. We should totally hang sometime. You’re cool. Even you, Seulgi. I’d kinda like to see your artwork. That’d be cool. PPPPS. If you’re really planning on going on holiday, I hear the Bahamas is nice this time of year. PPPPPS. Please don’t ask me to come over and join you at the table because I hate that thirdwheeling and I swear to god if you start being all flirty in front of me I’ll ing puke. I hate, HATE, romantics. Hate them so much. PPPPPPS. Bring me back something nice. Maybe a seashell or something. Or a bottle of vodka. That import tax-free that you can’t get over here without smuggling it in. Bonus points if it’s absinthe. The super strong stuff. You know, that that makes you go blind. Happy holidays.’

Seulgi was silent for a long time. Then she said, ‘Did you tell her we were going on holiday?’

‘I may have mentioned I was planning on taking you somewhere nice, yes.’

‘Damn.’

‘What?’

‘Nothing. Does it really have that many PSs on it?’

Irene showed her the note and it did indeed have that many PSs on it.

‘I like her handwriting.’

‘Me too,’ Irene said.

‘Is she looking this way?’

‘No. I don’t think she was lying when she said she didn’t want to come over. She hates a fuss.’

‘Guess so. That’s very sweet of her, though.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Maybe she’s not all bad after all.’

‘I told you she wasn’t. She’s a nice girl. Just needs pushing in the right direction. I feel like that’s what her granduncle was trying to do before he…well, yeah.’

‘So did Mr Kim leave her everything in the will?’

‘Literally everything, except the snakes and ladders board.’

Seulgi laughed. ‘What?’ she said. ‘Except the snakes and ladders board?’

‘Yeah. Said he wished to be buried with that. Don’t ask me why. But everything else is hers, yeah.’

‘God damn. Some people have all the luck.’

‘Well, her granduncle died, so…’

‘Yeah but she was estranged.’

Irene opened one of the bottles of wine and poured them each half a glass of red. ‘You have a point there,’ she said.

‘I always have a point,’ said Seulgi. She picked up her glass and drank with a grimace and set it back down again and said, ‘So.’

‘So what?’

‘Bahamas, or Bali?’

‘Maldives.’

Seulgi smiled. It was a smile Irene was very much enjoying the idea of seeing more of. ‘Maldives it is then,’ she said.

‘Yeah. Here’s to the Maldives.’

‘To the Maldives.’

‘And beyond.’

‘And beyond,’ Seulgi said, and smiled again.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay so we're FINALLY done lol! I know I'm not the best at murder mysteries or comedy and I feel kinda bad because there are people in the comments that are still calling Yeri and others sus with like 1 chapter left and that's not because there's a mystery left! I'm just a bad writer lol :(

But anyway I hope you all enjoyed reading as much as I did writing (it  was a ton of fun) and if anyone has any ideas for a new story then please let me know because I am now officially creatively bankrupt and my brain is like a raisin yay me. Anyway thanks again, please leave an upvote and a comment if you haven't already! Bye :)