9:00 PM.

She had a lot to say and no way to say it that would make any sense. So instead she just stood there, arms folded, listening to the rest of them argue. Occasionally she would steal a glance at Seulgi and Seulgi at her and then she would turn away again as if having been caught in the act of doing something unconscionable, something borderline illegal. And they kept arguing. Even Wendy couldn’t help herself. By the time they’d settled it was a quarter past nine and Mr Jae’s body was going cold and so was the stew all over the floor. Irene surveyed the room. Something compelled her to ask them more questions but she knew they wouldn’t answer and so instead all she said was, ‘Does anyone else have anything they’d like to say?’

‘Is that an invitation for the group to share?’ Yeri said.

‘Yes.’

‘Like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.’

‘If you like, sure.’

‘Well, I don’t have anything to say.’

‘No?’ Seulgi said. ‘That makes a welcome change.’

‘Very funny. No really, that’s hilarious. Haven’t heard that one before. I bet it took you all evening to come up with that one. Tell you what, how about you share with the group, Seulgi? What? Gone silent all of a sudden?’

‘Why me?’

‘Well, apart from your girlfriend over here—’

‘She’s not my—’

‘Apart from her – who seems at least smart enough to be leading this whole thing, or trying to, which I kinda commend her for – and apart from the fact that she actually has an alibi, you haven’t shared anything. Only that you make ty artwork and sell it.’

‘How do you know my artwork is ty?’

‘I don’t. I’m just being an .’

Wheein spat some of her whiskey back into her glass and wiped with her sleeve. ‘That might be the most honest thing you’ve come out with all evening,’ she said.

‘Honest? Are you kidding me? I’ve been nothing if not honest all day. You just pretend otherwise because you don’t like what I have to say. Not just you. All of you. Yeah, I’m honest. And can we talk about the fact that whoever poisoned the stew is a ing psychopath? Like, a genuine lunatic. I feel like we’re not drawing enough attention to that, you know? How did they know this guy over here was gonna be the only one who ate it? A rough guess? Maybe they wanted to kill all of us. I mean, I was about a second away from looking like that. Ridiculous. Anyway, back on topic. What was the topic again?’

‘Her,’ said Jisoo, pointing to Seulgi.

‘Right. Her. Well, Seulgi? What’s your deal? Why are you here?’

Seulgi looked to Irene for support but there was no support to give.

‘Well? We’re waiting.’

‘What do you expect me to say?’ Seulgi asked. ‘I’ve told you about myself. What else is there?’

‘How old are you?’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Never mind. Just being nosy. How about you start with why you’re actually here and for what reason. Why did my granduncle invite you along?’

‘I told you already.’

‘Not me. Maybe you told the others, but not me.’

‘Mr Kim bought a couple pieces of my artwork last year and got in contact with me to tell me he liked them. That’s why he invited me along. At least, I’m presuming it is.’

‘But you don’t know.’

‘No.’

‘So you could be lying.’

‘What?’

‘You could be making up,’ Yeri said. ‘Just like I expect half the people in this room could be. The only difference is, at least the others here have the foresight to not give anything away about themselves. They know the cardinal rule – don’t ing incriminate yourself. Even if you’re innocent, you don’t say anything. That’s the one thing you’ve got to learn. Happened to me once, you know? I got detained at university by the police. Apparently someone had snitched on me smoking weed and they were questioning me about it. Now, me being me, being as smart as I was, I got the heads up, so I cleaned out my stash, washed my hair a bunch of times, quit smoking, waited until it was out of my system. Then they questioned me. You know what I did? I said No Comment to everything. Everything. Even my name. “You’re Kim Yerim, correct?” No comment. “You study at KAIST university, don’t you?” No comment. “In the summer of last year you went on vacation to Japan and had a drunken at a cosplay convention with twins dressed up as characters from Final Fantasy, right?” No comment. “You hate sugar-free chewing gum because the aspartame they use as artificial sweetener gives you a stomach ache and sometimes you even get really bad diarrhoea from it, correct?” No comment. No comment to all of it. Even if you’re innocent, you don’t answer. And if they turn around and say, “You’re in some serious trouble if you don’t start talking,” and they lay on all that aggressive threatening real heavy, that’s when you finally give an answer. And do you know what you say? “I’d like to speak to an attorney.” That’s it. That’s the only thing you ever say, word for word. Trust me. That’s not true, by the way. The chewing gum bit, I mean. Yeah, I’m fine with aspartame. That was just something I made up to get my point across. The , though...’

‘What the are you talking about?’

‘Right, back on topic – what was the topic again? Oh, yeah. The others in this room, dumb as you all are – and believe me, you are very dumb, and also quite boring – know at least not to give up about themselves. Does that make them guilty? Well, one of them is, sure, but it’s not a given. Only idiots think refusing to comment makes you guilty. Right, Irene?’

Irene ignored her.

‘But you on the other hand…god damn, Seulgi. You must’ve skipped that part of Police Interrogation school. You see, now you’ve opened yourself up for more questions, and for criticism, and for people to poke and prod and pick holes in your story.’

‘What do you expect me to say? Anything I say – or don’t say – and you’ll pick some stupid other thing to blast me for. That’s just the sort of person you are.’

Yeri was silent. As if to say: Fair play, you got me there.

‘Look, I sold some artwork to a gallery, I’m guessing he bought the artwork, I’m guessing he liked it enough to search me up on Google or something and invite me along to his stupid stuffy dinner party. That’s all.’

‘Where’s this artwork now then?’ Sooyoung said.

‘How am I supposed to know? I don’t live here. I just got the invite.’

‘What was the artwork of?’

‘What?’

‘What did you draw? Was it apples?’

‘What? No, it wasn’t apples. What is your obsession with apples?’

Sooyoung shrugged.

‘’I just…drew some .’

‘Drew some .’

‘Yeah. You know, I just draw some landscapes and stuff. And I guess he liked them enough to want to buy them from me.’

‘How did he even find you?’ Wheein said.

‘I dunno. Why are you asking me?’

‘Well, because it was your artwork that he bought. I thought that was very simple.’

‘I don’t know,’ Seulgi said again. ‘Honestly. He just said he found them at the exhibition they were sold at.’

‘Where was this exhibition? And when?’

‘What, do you want the ing date and time down to the minute or something as well? And the address? And the weather at the time of the exhibition? Maybe what I had for breakfast that morning as well? Pancakes or oatmeal?’

‘That would be a good start, yeah.’

‘God, all of you.’

‘That sounds like the defence of a guilty woman,’ Yeri said.

‘What?’

‘Just kidding. It actually doesn’t at all. But…you know. And what’s with you drinking all the time?’

Wheein stopped short of another mouthful of whiskey.

‘Do you ever stop?’

‘What’s wrong with having a drink?’ Wheein said.

‘Never said there was anything wrong with it. I’m quite partial to the odd on the beach as well.’

‘What?’

‘The cocktail. Not actually having on the beach. That’s awful. Nothing worse than sand in your hoochie. Although, on a deckchair, mind you…’

‘What’s your point?’

‘Well, how about the fact that this guy’s just been poisoned to death? He takes one mouthful of that soup and then boom, he’s wiped out. And that did not look like a pretty way to go to me. So either one of these three is a ing dreadful cook – which isn’t completely out of the equation yet – or he was poisoned. How do you know whoever killed him hasn’t poisoned the whiskey too? Or any drink, for that matter. Unless, of course, you were the one that poisoned it. That’d certainly give you peace of mind.’

‘What are you suggesting?’

‘Nothing. Not really. But…you know.’

‘Alright,’ Irene said, ‘settle down.’

‘Settle down? Are you serious?’

‘What?’

Wheein shifted on the sofa but otherwise was silent. Irene turned to Seulgi. ‘They’ve got a point,’ she said.

‘What? Got a point about what, exactly?’

‘You didn’t really give much away. I know they didn’t either, but—’

‘Oh, so now you’re turning on me as well? Of all the people in this room that I thought I could maybe – just maybe – trust, you were at the top of the list. I thought maybe you’d have my back, you know? Maybe we’d been through enough for you to realise that I don’t have it in me to kill somebody in cold ing blood, with a knife in the back. And then poison someone else. Two people I’ve never even met in my life before. Do you really think that little of me? Irene.’

Irene was silent.

‘Great,’ Seulgi scoffed. ‘Thanks for answering. You know, just when I thought things could actually maybe work between us.’

‘Oh, so you’re blaming me now? For this? For this guy being dead upstairs? Guess what, Seulgi – news flash for you, I didn’t kill this guy. I didn’t drop this in your lap. I didn’t even know you were going to be here today.’

‘Yeah well maybe if you called every now and again you’d have some idea of what I was doing and where I was going. But you couldn’t, could you? You went cold turkey, just like that. Blanked me overnight.’

‘Blanked you? You think I blanked you, really?’

‘Did you not?’

‘I seem to remember that it was you that said you didn’t want to see or talk to me again. In fact, I seem to remember you saying, word for word, “I think it’s best for both of us if we don’t talk to each other again.” Or are you conveniently forgetting that part?’

‘I was playing hard to get.’

‘Hard to get?’

‘It was a subtle way to indicate that I wanted you to text me and make amends after a few days. But you were too egotistical to see that from my point of view. You just took your things and left. You only saw what you wanted to see. What suited you.’

‘Oh, so even this is my fault now? You know, you—’

‘Oh, for god’s sake,’ Yeri said, ‘can you two please – please – take your ing relationship problems elsewhere? It’s so cringy. God, see a shrink or something.’

‘She’s right,’ Sooyoung said. ‘You’re both as bad as each other. Making it all about you.’

Irene and Seulgi watched each other. As if looking for some sort of reassurance or defence but there was none to give.

‘You know what?’ Lisa said. ‘I’ve just about had enough of it. Had enough of these two – especially this one – acting like they know better than us. That because one of them has never been here before, they get to act all morally superior and somehow get a pass from all this stupid ing invasive questioning. And this one here pretends she knows what she’s talking about because she’s a famous private investigator. Ooh, so cool. Except we’ve been here, what, two, three hours with Mr Kim dead upstairs now, and she’s figured out…what, precisely? Anything? Figured out that Sooyoung likes apples, Yeri is a university student, and Mr Jae probably didn’t poison himself to death with chicken stew. Anything I’ve missed? No?’

‘Hold on a minute,’ Irene said. ‘I was just in the process of narrowing down the suspects list. Now, in regard to who must have poisoned the stew—’

‘It could’ve been anyone. Literally anyone here. How would you know? You were upstairs, weren’t you? Presumably doing something inappropriate with Seulgi or something. Or were you upstairs at all? Maybe you snuck down, poisoned it yourself. Who knows? Did anyone here see Irene enter the kitchen in the past hour?’

Nobody answered.

‘Did anyone see her stay outside the kitchen in the past hour either?’

Again, silence.

‘Exactly. Nobody saw anything, because nobody was still sat here the whole time. I went to the bathroom, Sooyoung went to the bathroom, Wheein was upstairs. I don’t know about anyone else, but nobody was here the whole time. Who’s to say it wasn’t Jennie? I mean, she’s got access to the kitchen, she could’ve easily done it. Rosie, too. And Jisoo. But then, it could’ve been one of you two. This is what I’m talking about – you’re not as good as you wish you were. You let us all leave this room and now look at where we are. Pointing fingers at each other.’

‘Look,’ Yeri said, ‘not to be rude, but if you’ve got a point you want to make, can you please get on with it? I’m sick of all this talking, man.’

‘Sure. I’ll say this to the whole group. This is my advice, and you can all take it or leave it.’

They turned to her. Standing up there in front of the sofa Lisa seemed at once to be the most powerful person in the room. ‘I think this is what we do,’ she said. ‘We sort this out for ourselves, without the interference of these two over here.’

‘What?’ Irene said.

‘Think about it – where have we gotten in the past two hours? Nowhere. Going around in circles, making each other angry, listening to them play at marriage counselling. So here’s what I propose – we put these two in a room somewhere, lock them there, and then we sort it out ourselves. Properly this time, without these two getting everyone confused.’

‘Wait just a minute,’ Seulgi said. ‘Lock us in a room somewhere? Are you serious?’

‘Yeah I’m serious,’ said Lisa. She pointed to Irene. ‘All you’ve done since you took charge is confuse everyone and get us to fight. And all you’ve done is get a pass for being cryptic and not saying anything because Irene here is your girlfriend.’

‘She’s not my ing girlfriend,’ Seulgi said.

‘Ex, then. But the point remains. I say we have a vote. And as far as I see it, anybody that disagrees or votes to let them stay is guilty to me.’

‘What?’ Jisoo said. ‘How did you figure that one out?’

‘She’s got a point,’ said Yeri. ‘Hate to say it, but…she kinda does. If we’re better at sorting this whole murder business out with these two out of the picture, as Lisa here suggests we are, then surely anyone who votes to let them stay is doing so because they want everyone to be as confused as possible. ‘Cause then they’ll get away with it. No?’

‘That’s stupid logic,’ Jennie said.

‘Oh, like you’re one to know what’s stupid and what’s not? Give me a break. You wouldn’t know brains if they came and dangled themselves in front of your face on a little string.’

‘What?’

‘I meant you’re as dull as dirty dishwater. No offence, of course.’

To that Jennie had no real answer, only to sulk.

‘Right,’ Lisa said, ‘that settles it. Time to vote. All in favour of letting Irene and Seulgi stay here with the rest of us, raise your hand.’

Slowly, Wendy raised her hand. And then, to Irene’s surprise, so did Yeri.

‘What?’ Sooyoung said. ‘Why do you want them to stay?’

‘I just do,’ Yeri said with a shrug.

‘Didn’t you just talk about how it would be easier to get to the bottom of it with these two out of the way?’

‘No. See? Just goes to show that none of you have any listening comprehension whatsoever. What I actually said was: If Lisa’s suggestion is correct then it will be easier with them out of the way. Key word in that sentence? Key word, Sooyoung?’

With a sigh, Sooyoung said: ‘If.’

‘Exactly. If. And do you know what? I disagree with that. Hate me all you want, cast me out, blah blah, but I kinda think these two know what they’re talking about. Well…not this one.’

‘Thanks,’ Seulgi said.

‘You’re welcome. But Irene? Yeah, kinda. More than you clowns, at least. A low bar, I know.’

Lisa clicked her teeth. ‘Alright then,’ she said, and pointed to Wendy. ‘You too?’

‘Yeah,’ said Wendy. ‘Sorry. But yeah, I trust Irene.’

‘Fine. So be it. All those in favour of getting rid of Irene and Seulgi, raise your hand.’

Lisa and Wheein put their hands up first. Then it was Sooyoung and Jennie, and then Rosie, and then slowly Jisoo and even Mr Jang. Irene eyed them all cautiously, like opponents on a battlefield.

‘Alright,’ Lisa said.

‘Do we not get a chance to vote?’ Seulgi asked.

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because it’s a vote about you two.’

‘That’s bull.’

‘The score’s seven to two, so it wouldn’t matter anyway. Jennie, get a knife.’

‘Wait, wait, wait. What? Get a knife?’

‘Jennie, please.’

She stood until Lisa glared at her and then she skittered off to the kitchen and came back with a big meat carving knife from one of the drawers and handed it to Lisa.

‘Woah,’ Mr Jang said. ‘I thought you just wanted to get rid of em for a bit, not put em in a pie.’

‘It’s in case they try and fight back.’

‘Fight back?’ Yeri said. ‘With what?’

Wheein sat forward and set her glass neatly on the table at an angle. ‘Irene warned that she’s got a gun,’ she said.

‘Where do we put them?’ Sooyoung asked.

Lisa thought about it. Then she pointed the knife towards the boiler room on the right side of the room. ‘You two, get in there,’ she said. ‘Go on. Don’t make me repeat myself.’

‘This is ridiculous,’ Irene said.

‘Go on. Quickly.’

‘Let’s just talk about this for a minute.’

‘We’ve talked about it. Come to an agreement. Decided. Jury’s voted. Etcetera. Now, go. Hurry up.’

She stalked them across the room with the knife. They backed right up to the boiler room door, two animals hunted to their end. Seulgi opened it and retreated inside and then with great reluctance Irene did the same too, the knife still levelled at her, the look on Lisa’s face of pure determination. The last thing she heard before the door was shut in her face was Lisa saying, ‘Enjoy your stay. We’ll let you out when we’re finished.’

‘Wait,’ Irene said, but it was no use at all.