“It’s not going to work.” Yerim threw the piece of moonlight to the side. It went through a tree with so much force it broke. Just as the tree was tipping over, it stopped. The bark slowly regrew, reattaching the two pieces. 

“This’s easier than that,” Jinsoul told her. “You just have to figure out how.” 

Yerim gave her a barely concealed glare. 

“Can you bring it back?” Jinsoul asked, nodding at the discarded piece of moonlight. 

She sent her glare in the other direction. No movement. 

Yerim sighed and then a tree branch started to move. 

Jinsoul brought the piece of light over before Yerim could grab it with the branch. “Not like that.“

“I won’t get it,” Yerim shot back. “It was lucky I managed to even absorb the light yesterday. Don’t act like it was skill.” 

“It might’ve been,” she countered. “So try.” She dropped the light to the ground. 

Yerim grit her teeth, but she looked at it. 

“Maybe—“

“If you tell me to be calm,” Yerim muttered, eyes flashing with a threat she didn’t say. 

“Well, sort of,” Jinsoul admitted. “It might help if you hold this.” She handed her another piece of light. 

She looked at the light. Her brow had relaxed, but nothing else happened. “Can’t we work on summoning it?” 

“Jungeun’s doing that,” Jinsoul replied. “Except for light, I never summoned anything.” 

“But you don’t know when she’ll be coming back,” Yerim replied. 

She almost told her she did, but didn’t. Jungeun had just gotten a note from Yeri. It told her about a pack of werewolves who’d lost control of one of theirs. It was probably because of a witch. 

And Jungeun was the one who’d be going after it. Hopefully to ease the lunacy that sometimes plagued the wolves. 

She’d been gone for more than a day. 

“You’re nervous,” Yerim said. “If that shadow and your inability to take a nap is anything to go by.” 

Jinsoul didn’t want to lie and say she wasn’t. She didn’t really want to admit it either. “She’ll be fine.” 

“But?” Yerim raised a brow. 

“Nothing,” Jinsoul said. 

“I mean this well,” she gave her a look, “but you’re a horrible liar. Even without the light, you’re easy to read.” 

Jinsoul blushed. “Thanks.” 

Yerim patted her arm. “If the stories I heard are true, then I’m pretty sure she can handle a werewolf.” 

If those stories are true, I don’t want anything to do with her. 

Jinsoul swallowed the shame that rose. “They’re true,” she said. “But it’s not the wolf I’m worried about.” 

She frowned. “I’m not sure vampires would fair much better, even if they did find her—“ 

“She’s a target for a lot of people,” Jinsoul cut her off. The moment she did it, she watched for irritation to come and for Yerim to just stop talking entirely. She didn’t look angry, so Jinsoul kept going. “Either ones who want revenge, or people sent after her for that revenge.” 

“Assassins,” Yerim finished. “But isn’t she one too?” 

“For some things she is.” The thought still made her stomach turn. At least until she knew what Jungeun had actually been sent after, then it lessened. Somewhat.

“And now,” she frowned, “someone’s after her? Why would she go alone? Why aren’t we with her then?” 

“There’s always a chance someone would come,” Jinsoul said. “And she didn’t want us there.” 

“And you let her?” 

Jinsoul laughed. “As if she’d listen.”

“You’re sure?” Yerim’s brow rose. “From what I’ve seen, what you say matters to her.” 

Jinsoul frowned at her. 

“What?” She smiled slightly. “Would you two be getting along that well if she didn’t?”

Jinsoul almost told her how ‘getting along that well’ was definitely not the way she’d put it. Then again, they’d been living like this for over ten years. Neither of them had really changed much about it, even if Jungeun had essentially stopped being her mentor after two or three years had passed. 

“She listens, but not when it comes to that kind of thing,” Jinsoul said. “She’s not stubborn with most things, but if you happen to get one of the exceptions,” she fought a smile, “you’ll have no chance.” Either it was Jinsoul and the others trying to convince her to just take one of them along when she was going off on a particular contract. Or it was Jinsoul insisting she take more healing draughts with her, or trying to teach her a little bit more healing magic. Jungeun’s argument against it was that it made her head hurt, but Jinsoul had a strong feeling there was more to that. 

Yerim’s mouth twitched upwards. 

Jinsoul stared at her. “What?”

She gave her a look. “I’m not that blind, you know.” Then her eyes widened. “And I’m not just saying that because you‘re both non-Astra, because—“

“I know what you mean.” Jinsoul looked away, forcing a smile, despite her stomach having flipped at the thought. “But no. There’s none of that.” 

If anything, Yerim’s eyes became wider. “You’re joking.” 

Jinsoul could only shake her head. Was it really that unbelievable? Was the opposite that believable?

She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought of it.

“Oh.” Yerim was frowning again. She looked confused. 

Jinsoul wasn’t sure what to say. Was she even supposed to say something? 

“Sorry,” Yerim said. “I assumed?” She was blushing now. She wasn’t the only one. 

“It’s fine.” Jinsoul pointed at the light. “Bring that over.” 

Yerim seemed happy with the subject change and started focusing on it. 

After about five minutes of staring at it, Jinsoul saw how the piece of light tilted in their direction. She held her breath, not saying anything. 

Yerim took a deep breath. The branches bent with it. 

The light rolled over once. 

“My head hurts,” Yerim groaned, “and I barely have it.”

“Then that’s enough,” Jinsoul told her. “Don’t force it.” 

“Wait.” She clenched her jaw. 

The piece of light slowly started to slide across the ground. 

Yerim’s right eye was starting to glow, a sliver of white light across the bottom of her iris. She winced then. 

“Careful,” Jinsoul warned. Unless she’d used too much light, she’d never felt a pain when using her magic. 

“I almost have it.” Yerim took another breath. 

Jinsoul could feel the tears building in the girl’s eyes. 

Then the moonlight reached their feet. 

Yerim let out a long sigh. She fell back. 

Jinsoul caught her. 

Yerim had squeezed her eyes shut, tears trickling down her face. “Ow.” She held a hand to her head. “Oh, it hurts.” 

Jinsoul slowly lowered her to the ground. “Lay down.” She uncapped the waterskin. “Can I use the water? This’ll go on your forehead.” 

“I’m afraid of swimming in it,” Yerim muttered. “As long as you don’t put it on my mouth or nose, it’s fine.” 

Jinsoul infused the water with moonlight and put it across her forehead. 

She sighed. “Better.” She winced. 

“But not much?” 

Yerim shook her head. “Probably just a time thing, huh?” 

“Maybe.” Jinsoul sat down beside her. “Are you sure you couldn’t have just saved it for later? Maybe an hour?”

“I’ll try and lift it in an hour,” Yerim replied. Her brow was still furrowed. 

“And then be out of it for a day?” Jinsoul asked. “Have a headache the entire rest of the night?”

She peeked out of one eye, before closing that immediately. “I don’t get it, there’s light on my forehead, but I can’t even look at you?” 

“The light on your head is healing,” Jinsoul told her. “But your brain’s under too much strain.”

“My brain,” she repeated. “That’s what’s in there, isn’t there? I think there’s mortal diagrams about it, aren’t there?” 

“Not many,” Jinsoul said. “Many still think it’s a sin to know about it.”

“What about you?” 

Jinsoul smiled at the question. “I just wrap the head in water and cast a spell. It usually works.” She carved a rune into the ground beside her. “Did that help?”

“A little.” She sighed again. “It’s fine, Jinsoul. I’ll just wait it out.” 

“But I don’t know if it’ll go away,” Jinsoul told her. “Absorb this.” She put the piece of light she’d brought over in her hand. 

Slowly, it melted into her skin. Her skin glowed slightly. 

“Can you pull it to your head?” 

“What?” Yerim grimaced. 

“Focus on the light that you have,” Jinsoul said. “Try pulling on that.”

“It’s the reason I have a headache,” Yerim said slowly. “Is that a good idea?”

“Right,” she frowned, “sorry. Don’t do that.” 

Yerim smiled slightly. “No problem. The light helped a little.” 

But it wasn’t enough. 

“Relax,” she said. “I know you’re worried and I can’t even see you.” 

“All this should’ve at least taken the pain away.” 

“Maybe it’s just too much,” Yerim said. “Let’s just wait.” She let out a long sigh. 

Jinsoul leaned back on her hands. She kept the water on Yerim’s forehead cool. She wondered what the reason for it was. Had Yerim had enough light? Was there still a block? Did she have another part of her that focused her magic, one that she hadn’t found yet?” 

“Jinsoul,” Yerim called. “Stop worrying.” 

“I’m not.” 

She snorted, before groaning. “You sure?”

Jinsoul didn’t answer. 

“You know,” Yerim started, “I could try drinking the moonlight.” 

“I haven’t really seen that bad of a headache unless the person had used too much light,” she said. “I barely even know what happens when a person drinks it.”

“I got headaches like this when I was first using my actual magic.” Slowly, Yerim opened her eyes. She squinted, looking at the trees now. “That’s why I’m a slow learner.” She sat up, groaning. 

“Didn’t I tell you to lie down?” 

Yerim’s eyes were still narrowed as she looked at her. “Yeah, but you’ll be worrying more if I look like some patient.” She sent her a smile, but it looked strained. “So if I tell you it’s normal, believe it.” Her eyes began to open again. The white crescent at the base of one was gone. “Well, at least I can look at you again.” 

Jinsoul laughed. “Is it a sight you really want to see?” 

Her brow rose. “You do know you’re actually gorgeous, don’t you?” 

“Do I really answer that?”

Yerim’s smile grew a bit. “No.” Then she prodded at her head, her fingers sinking into the water a bit. “It feels weird.” 

“Should I take it away?”

She shook her head. “I just have to get used to it.” 

They sat in silence then. Yerim was looking around. 

“And those spirits won’t come here?” 

Jinsoul looked, concentrating a bit. Then she saw a pair of bright spirits. “No,” she said. “The wards we put up are against both.” 

“Do those always work?”

“No.” She looked away from the light when she didn’t see another form coming through the trees. “If the spirits really want to get in, they will.”

“And that’s when they can sense you’re angry, or something like that,” Yerim said. “Why’s it just those emotions? Why isn’t it the positive ones? Wouldn’t they want to take away the opposite?” 

Jinsoul shook her head. “I’m not sure if they go that far in their thinking. They’re drawn to the what they’re most similar to. The bright spirits as well.” 

“And that’s us?” she asked. “But they wouldn’t come just because someone’s happy?”

“No,” she said. “I don’t know why, but only if we’re Ast—I mean, only if the tie to the moon is there.”

“You can say it,” Yerim said then. “You can say the word if you want.” She shrugged. “And if you think I’m actually Astran, I guess you can say it too? Unless you don’t believe that.”

“We are,” Jinsoul replied. “If the moon gave us the light, even if we can’t use it, then we’re Astra.”

She frowned. “What do you mean if we can’t use it?” 

“Not all of the Astra can use the magic,” Jinsoul told her. “I know a few, one’s a friend of ours, and she can’t use the magic.” 

“What do they say about that?” Yerim asked. “Do they think she’s weak?”

“She isn’t,” Jinsoul said. “She does everything we do, patrols, hunts. Her friends,” even if the word didn’t match what that group actually was, “they give her the light she needs for the spirits. That’s all.”

She nodded. “And what does she think about people like us? Doesn’t that sting, knowing that someone could have magic of their own, and then what the moon has?”

Jinsoul didn’t respond immediately. She’d wondered if Hyejoo had been envious of them, and maybe she had been at first, but she’d never shown it, or ended up growing sullen because of it. She’d even asked Chaewon once if she was. Chaewon had told her that Hyejoo had been hurt when she’d first heard of someone outside the Astra getting the moonlight. After she’d met Jungeun, that’d faded. 

“It stung when everything started,” Jinsoul said. “But now she just thinks I’m weird.” 

“You are.” Yerim nodded. She’d relaxed. 

“Really?” Jinsoul asked. “You’ve barely known me a week.”

“That’s plenty to figure it out,” she threw back. “And Jungeun might’ve told me you talk to fish and some of your friends’re whales.” 

“Dolphins too. And two sharks.”

Yerim smiled. 

Jinsoul almost asked what else Jungeun had told her, but she didn’t want to ruin whatever was happening now. 

“I think she wanted to make you seem less intimidating,” Yerim said. 

“Do you think I’m intimidating?” Jinsoul almost took the water away from her head then. She left it there. 

“At first, of course I did.” She shook her head. “You were glowing, your eyes were two different colours, and you’d practically gotten mauled by a spirit without losing it.” She glanced at her once. “And you were next to Jungeun, someone I only ever heard stories about, but all of them just made it so clear how powerful she is. Of course I’d have been intimidated.”

“And now I’m not?” She wasn’t sure if that was insulting or a relief. 

“You were worried about a headache,” Yerim said. “And you’re worried about someone we both know can definitely handle herself.” 

“And I talk to fish?”

“And you talk to fish.” She looked away this time. “But I’m not saying that as if you’re not powerful, or anything like that. I don’t think Jungeun’s that intimidating either, but I know she’s stronger than most people I know.” 

“You’re not,” Jinsoul trailed off. What was she supposed to say. 

You’re not scared of her? 

You don’t look at her and remember what she’s done? 

You’re not like I was?

“I mean, you’ve known her longer than I have,” Yerim said. “But you can see it after a little while.” 

“See what?” 

“I always heard two things about her,” she explained. “One told me she was a monster, but others said she’s nothing like that. Those were the Warsa, people who’d seen her, more than a few times too.” 

Jinsoul nodded. “Did she spend that time near where you were?”

Yerim shook her head. “I just knew the people who’d seen her. They told me a little of what she did.” Confusion crossed her eyes. “Pretty much nothing, but what they asked her to do. Like the rest, except for helping along with trade.” 

Jinsoul wondered how it had been when Jungeun had first gone there. Had everyone been afraid? Or just confused? 

“And now that I’ve actually met her,” Yerim paused, looking at the ground now, “she’s honest and everything, but there’s something—” She shook her head. “You’re right, sorry, I’ve only known you two for a few days.” 

“You can say it,” Jinsoul said. “I said a lot to Jungeun when I first met her.” She bit her lip. “None of it good.”

Yerim looked even more confused then. She didn’t end up asking about it. She just looked back to the trees. They swayed a bit. 

“I feel like she’s sad,” she said. “Not like other people I’ve seen, but it feels like almost everything she says is somehow hiding something. She’s not lying, but she’s also not being open. She doesn’t have to be, but,” she glanced at her, “does that make sense?”

Jinsoul could only nod. She was more than surprised that Yerim had picked up on that so quickly. “She’s been like that in the time I’ve known her too.” She didn’t know if that was just Jungeun keeping her at bay, in some way or another, or if that was just how she always was. She was starting to think it was the latter. 

Yerim looked like she wanted to say something else. She didn’t. 

So Jinsoul didn’t ask about it. “How’s your head?” she asked instead. 

Yerim lightly rolled her eyes. “Better,” she repeated. “Unless you wanna give drinking the light a try.”

“Why’re you so eager to drink it?” 

She shrugged. “You haven’t done it yet, so when else’re you gonna find out?”

Jinsoul pulled more water from the waterskin. Slowly, she let the water become infused with moonlight. She didn’t put in a lot. She pulled off two balls of water and popped one in . 

The water was still cool, but she immediately felt a shift. It was slow, but definitely there. 

Jinsoul swallowed the water. The ache she had from the most recent spirit encounter disappeared. She felt the calm through to her fingertips. It didn’t feel foreign, but it still happened quickly. Her head felt clear. She was focused, almost more than she was when she held a piece of light. 

Yerim had leaned forward, mouth wide to take in the water. 

Jinsoul fought a laugh as she watched. 

Yerim caught her looking and closed . “Is it safe?”

Jinsoul nodded. “I think so.” 

She drank the water, before closing her eyes. “Wow,” she said. “It even tastes nice.” 

“Really?” Jinsoul frowned. “I didn’t taste anything.” She drank a bit more. It tasted like normal water, at least like water when it was cold. 

“It’s fresh,” Yerim replied. “Different to what I’m used to.” Then her eyes opened, now wide. “And my head doesn’t hurt at all.” She grinned. “It worked!” 

Jinsoul could only stare at the water. It was still glowing. 

And it could heal. Was that because her magic had to have an effect on it first? Then the moonlight enhanced that healing effect? Or was it the moonlight that had the healing effect, like with how Nuala used it? 

“Are you okay?” Yerim asked. 

“In shock.” 

She laughed slightly. “Do you think it’ll work for bigger injuries too?”

Jinsoul shrugged. “I don’t think so.” She frowned at it. “But it could make them better after I’ve gone through the rest of the healing.” She drew the water back into the waterskin. “Thank you, Yerim.” 

She stared at her. “I didn’t do anything.” 

“Yes you did,” Jinsoul smiled, “you asked if I’d ever tried drinking it and I hadn’t. I probably wouldn’t have for a few more years.” 

Yerim almost looked shy then. 

“And you got a headache too, which helped.”

She snorted. “Does this mean we can keep going?” 

“No,” Jinsoul said. “It might’ve just gotten rid of the pain. You’re still taking a break.” 

Yerim bowed her head. “Yes, madame.” Then she laid down again, closing her eyes. The earth around her head rose, creating a type of cushion. “Want one?”

“It’s alright,” Jinsoul said. “I’m not tired.”

“Because you’re both taking that elixir that keeps you awake.” She peered out of one eye. “Isn’t that just getting rid of the fatigue? Are you sure you’re brains aren’t just still tired?” 

“No idea,“ Jinsoul admitted. “But even if I knew, that wouldn’t change that I can’t sleep.” 

“I can,” Yerim muttered. “Goodnight, Jinsoul. Or do the Astra say good morning?”

“They say that when it’s time to sleep.”

“Weird.”

“Goodnight, Yerim.” 

It was quiet again. Jinsoul watched the forest for any other spirits, or people. She didn’t see anything, or anyone. 

Yerim was quickly falling asleep. She hadn’t let the earth form into a blanket. 

Jinsoul quickly got one from the tent. She wondered why Yerim was staying out here for the night. She wasn’t as susceptible to the cold as another elf was, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t get sick. 

Then Yerim shifted, curling into the blanket a bit more. She looked even younger asleep. Peaceful. It made Jinsoul pause. Yerim wasn’t a stranger to violence, but it was something almost too easy to forget. It went beyond the frustration and homesickness that Yerim clearly had. It came when she wasn’t even thinking about leaving her home, even when she was talking about others. 

Jungeun wasn’t the only one who was hiding something. 

_____

The blood was still on her hands. She could still smell it. 

If her thoughts slipped, she could taste it too. 

Jungeun knelt down by the river and started wiping at her fingers. It was the third time she’d tried to take it off. Her hands were still red. 

She’d barely managed to restrain the werewolf in time, but its mind had already been too far gone. The moonlight hadn’t calmed it, but made everything worse. It’d broken from the restraints and charged. It’d hit its target. 

And then Jungeun had killed him. 

She remembered what’d happened, but the details still slipped her mind. She just knew what had happened after. 

The werewolf had whined, trying to get away from her. His form had slowly changed back, the fur falling away as fast as the blood dripped from his mouth. 

Jungeun wiped at her face now, rinsing out her own mouth, fighting the urge to vomit again. Her head was pounding and aching all at the same time. 

The werewolf’s eyes had been a bright yellow. They’d turned dark brown. They’d been angry, before turning afraid. He’d been desperate to live. 

Jungeun had tried to make the healing runes. She’d not been able to use the moonlight, because that drove mortals mad. It would’ve been worse for the werewolf. He couldn’t have been much older than twenty. 

The tear in his chest had been too large. The blood he’d lost had been too much. Not even his own accelerated healing had kept him alive. 

He’d been dying. No rune she’d cast could’ve closed the rest fast enough. Even the most skilled of witches didn’t treat wounds like that. And even though his mind had been lost, even if he’d been reduced to less than an animal, he’d been afraid. 

The last thing he’d had in his eyes was a plea for the pain to stop.

Jungeun had snapped his neck. 

The worst might’ve been the acceptance on his family’s faces. They hadn’t been angry when she’d brought him back. They’d known he was lost. They’d just hoped that Jungeun could’ve somehow managed to heal him. 

They hadn’t even blamed her. She’d wanted them to scream at her. 

Jungeun closed her eyes before her thoughts could go anywhere else. They hadn’t even wanted their revenge. He’d lost his mind to the moon. It wasn’t just the anger that got amplified, but everything. It made the transformation go too far. Nothing could help. 

But no pack would lose the hope that they could stop it. 

At least not until they lost the person they’d wanted to save. 

Jungeun grit her teeth. She was shaking. Her head hurt more than it ever had. 

And she was still bleeding. 

The worst blow hadn’t hit an organ. At least she didn’t think it had. Her lungs were free of blood. She was at her weakest when she couldn’t breathe properly. 

She rinsed the cuts she could reach, letting more water trickle down her back. She debated going to Yeri just to avoid facing Jinsoul and Yerim like this. 

But it was a longer way. The coward’s way too. 

Jungeun pushed herself to her feet and leapt over the river. It pulled at the wounds she’d just tended to. She stumbled, cursing with each step. Terrified brown eyes flashed in her head. 

It was cold. The water and blood had soaked into her clothes. 

Jungeun let heat travel across her body. It was still cold. 

And then she heard footsteps. Had someone known about the wolf? Or had they followed her? 

Fire erupted along her arms. 

She saw the light in the next moment and there was a spike in the pain in her head. The fire disappeared. 

“Jungeun?” The steps quickened. 

“It’s fine,” Jungeun called, hoping the strain of speaking wasn’t showing through. 

In the next moment, Jinsoul was there. Her eyes widened. 

“Did someone come after you?” She reached for her arms. “What happened?” 

“No one followed me,” Jungeun said. She tried to avoid looking into her eyes. They were almost too bright to look into. The pain in her mind hadn’t gotten worse, but it hadn’t gotten much better either. 

“The werewolf?” Jinsoul frowned. “How—”

“I didn’t know he was already gone.” She pulled away. 

The realisation came then. “Can I heal these?” 

Jungeun wanted to say no. 

And then Jinsoul drew some water from the river. “You’re shivering, it’s going to be winter soon, and you’re bleeding.” A bit of that stern edge to her gaze was back. It was so familiar. 

Jungeun felt the lump in ease. 

She let Jinsoul lead her back to the river.

Surprisingly, Jinsoul didn’t ask her anything else. The water was warm when it spread across her skin, rinsing the wounds better than Jungeun’s attempts had, before coating them again to start the healing process. 

It was soothing the burn that’d started to spread. 

“Yerim helped me figure something else out with the light,” Jinsoul said quietly. 

“Really?” Jungeun could speak easier now. She focused on the headache, wondering how long this would last. She still wondered why it had to be the healing magic that made a pain like that. Did it work differently for her? 

“Drinking it does something,” she said. “I think it’s another way of absorbing the light, but it’s different.” She held her gaze. “It works against pain too.”

Jungeun almost told her she didn’t want it. She knew it’d just start a discussion. Maybe she’d have to tell her what exactly happened. 

“I’ll try it.”

The corner of her lip tugged up. Then she held up her waterskin. “I’m almost certain it’s not toxic, so you can have as much as you want.” 

Jungeun almost smiled. “Almost certain?” 

Jinsoul shrugged. “I haven’t drunk an entire one yet.” 

She took the waterskin and drank, forcing her hands not to shake. The water was cool, but it took away the chill that’d started to settle into her body. The burn of the wounds also faded completely. She felt at ease. Properly at ease. 

The constant flashes of angry yellow eyes melting into brown left her mind as well. The pressure and pain in her head also started to stop. 

She felt a relief she usually only felt after a few days. It washed over her, taking away the tightness in her limbs. Her hands stopped shaking. 

She gave it back to Jinsoul. The elf’s eyes were on her face, brow now furrowed in concern. 

Jungeun realised then she was crying. 

She wiped at her eyes. “Wasn’t the water,” she said quickly. 

“Are you sure?” Jinsoul asked. 

“Yeah, because this—“ This shouldn’t be happening yet. “I know it wasn’t.” The flow of tears had slowed. Jungeun let herself laugh. “I like that stuff.” 

Jinsoul looked unconvinced. 

Jungeun just hoped she’d let it go. 

“Yerim got a headache when she moved the light,” she said. “She got it, but pulling it along the floor hurt.”

“Maybe it’s a slow start.” Jungeun couldn’t have been more grateful that Jinsoul wasn’t pushing it. 

Jinsoul drew out bandages then. 

Jungeun stared at them. “Did you know?” 

“I thought you might be hurt,” she just said. “And I can sense if someone or something’s in the river.” She looked at her side. “Can you do it? Or should I?” 

“Uh,” Jungeun reached for the bandage, “I think so?” If she made sure to move her shoulder the right way and didn’t twist. 

Then Jinsoul moved a bit closer. “I’ll do it.” She was looking at Jungeun’s shoulder. “Lift your shirt?” 

She did. Her clothes had been torn a few times over the years, so not much had been left to imagination in the past. Still, she blushed. 

Jinsoul’s hand was cool where it brushed her skin. Jungeun jumped. 

“Sorry.” She pulled away. 

“It’s fine,” she said. “Everyone’s a little cold to me.” 

Jinsoul’s skin started to glow, before she started. “Better?” Her eyes were on the bandage now. The focus in them made it less of a big deal. 

Jungeun started to relax. It wasn’t easy, even with the light from the water. She was surprised it’d even worked like that in the first place. Maybe because she didn’t have as much light as normal. 

Every now and then, she got the nerve to look up and watch Jinsoul work. She was careful not to put too much pressure on any of the wounds. Every now and then she asked Jungeun to lean forward. 

The question bubbled up before she could stop it. “Doesn’t it get annoying?” 

Jinsoul paused. “What?” 

“I’ve lost count of the amount of times you’ve helped me. At one point you could just say you’re tired of it.” Then she added, “I can handle these kinds of things.” 

“I know.” She frowned. “Doesn’t mean you have to.” Then she moved on to her arm. “And if I’ve ever been annoyed to heal someone, it was when people kept messing with the sharks and got bitten in return.” 

Jungeun shivered. “That sounds terrifying.” Jinsoul had shown her one shark. She had a nightmare about facing down a swarm of them. Twice. 

“They made it a challenge,” Jinsoul replied. “Seeing if you could out-swim them, or other completely idiotic things.” She met her eyes then. “But that’s what’ll annoy me. Not this.” She gave her a small smile.

Jungeun felt a little more tension ease at the sight of it. “You’ll tell me if it does?” 

“Probably not.” She then put her hands on her lap. “Finished. Don’t do any fancy stretches.”

“Fancy?” Jungeun repeated. 

“You know what I mean.” Jinsoul got to her feet and held out a hand. “The ones you usually do would tear it all open in a heartbeat.” 

Jungeun took it, wincing when she was pulled up. 

“Sorry.” Another furrowed brow where her eyebrows arched upwards. 

Jungeun smiled and shook her head. “It’s okay. Most things might hurt.” 

Jinsoul’s brow rose slightly. “Is that supposed to be reassuring?” 

“It is for me.” 

Then Jinsoul’s eyes flickered down. 

Jungeun followed. She still held her hand. 

They both let go. 

Her hand felt cold from the absence. That was rare. 

Jinsoul cleared . “I was checking. Yerim’s alright, but we should get back.” 

Jungeun nodded. She picked up the knapsack she’d taken with her, letting out a small gasp when the movement tugged at something. 

“Careful.” Jinsoul plucked the bag out of her hand. “You’ll tear something else with this.” She frowned at the bag. “Did you pack armour in here?”

“Ironically, it’s silver.” She shook her head. “It was what they—” It felt like a blow to the stomach. Why had she taken it? It wasn’t a payment she should’ve had, it was— 

“Jungeun.” The careful voice drew her from her thoughts. “Let’s just go back.” Jinsoul moved to stand in her view. Her hand went to her arm, gently encircling her wrist. “Come on?” 

Jungeun was being pulled away again. She wasn’t shaking, but her chest felt like it was being weighed down. 

Jinsoul didn’t look her way while they were walking. It was a relief, but also nerve-wracking in its own way. She didn’t know how much Jinsoul was paying attention to. 

So she kept her expression neutral. 

Was it pathetic that a dead werewolf had done her in? Or was it just a sign that she was reaching another limit? Passing them meant taking time away. Not several months, but years instead. 

“You’re back?” Yerim was at the entrance of the tent. She looked half asleep. 

Jungeun half expected Jinsoul to let go of her. Instead, her thumb slowly ran over the side of her wrist. 

“What happened?” Yerim stood, frowning. “Did someone end up coming after you?” 

Jungeun could only shake her head. “Got caught by surprise.” 

“And now,” her eyes went to the bandages, then their arms, “you’re all patched up?” She glanced Jinsoul’s way, before looking back at her. 

Jungeun laughed slightly. “Yeah. I heard you’re moving light now?” 

Yerim shrugged. “If you count dragging it across the ground.” 

“I do.” Jungeun smiled. “But you look like you want to sleep.” 

“I really do,” Yerim muttered. “But your footsteps woke me up.” 

“Our steps?” Jinsoul repeated. 

“I can sense it.” She waved at the ground. “I wake up whenever I feel something coming my way. Usually.” Then she trudged back to the tent. “Night, you two.” 

“Goodnight,” they both said. 

Jinsoul was still holding her arm, still tracing along the space between her hand and her wrist. “Hungry?” 

Jungeun could only nod. Now that Yerim was gone, she felt drained. 

This time, Jinsoul let go of her. The cold feeling returned to her arm. 

They went to the fire, which was only a few half burnt logs now. 

Jungeun made the fire rise, burning as though it’d never started to fade. 

A bowl of light rose above the fire in the next moment. 

Jinsoul was watching it cook. Jungeun could see she wanted to ask, to know what’d happened.

And she wasn’t saying anything. 

“Here.” Jinsoul gave her a bowl. “I made it, but Yerim said it tasted good, so unless she lied, you’ll hopefully enjoy it.” 

I usually do, she thought. There’d been one time when she’d added spice to what Jinsoul had made. When the water elf had tried the food Jungeun tended to want to make, she’d complained about a burnt mouth for the entire night that followed. 

Jungeun started eating. The taste was the reminder that she hadn’t eaten the entire night. “It’s delicious,” she got out, before she kept eating. 

All too soon, the bowl was empty. 

“More?” 

“I shouldn’t.” Jungeun shook her head. “Then I’ll get sick.” Again. “Thank you.” 

Jinsoul nodded, but her expression was only a few seconds away from being a frown. 

She prepared herself for the question. Jinsoul had already left it at the basic story earlier. She’d helped her. She’d even known that Jungeun had taken money for what she’d done. 

“Do you want to be alone?” Jinsoul asked. 

Jungeun hadn’t expected that. 

She started to stand. “Because I can go if you want.” A small grimace was starting to form. 

“You don’t have to,” Jungeun said. “I,” she stopped herself. Maybe this was Jinsoul trying to escape.  “Unless you’re tired.”

Jinsoul waved at the night sky. “Not really.” 

“I’m not either,” she replied. “Not really.” 

Jinsoul smiled slightly. Then she looked back to the fire. “And you’re sure you don’t want another bowl?” 

She did. It was another relief to get the taste of the day out of . 

Then again, they’d usually been cooking more to have enough when morning came around for breakfast. 

And then the bowl left her hands. Jinsoul filled it and sent it back to her. “You still look hungry,” she said, before leaning back on her elbows. 

There was something in the way she spoke, how simple it all sounded. 

Jungeun felt another knot in her chest unwind. She felt her eyes start to burn. She forced whatever was coming back. There were no sudden flashes of what had happened. Her mind went back to it anyway, the scene continuing to play in her head. 

“Eat,” Jinsoul said. The bowl hovered in front of Jungeun’s face. 

She ate. 

Jinsoul was watching her. She looked to the forest every now and then. 

“You can go if you want to,” Jungeun said between bites. 

She shook her head. Simply. Again. 

Jungeun looked back at the food. She took a deep breath. If something else happened now, if Jinsoul said something else, something that tugged at whatever Jungeun was trying to press down, it’d all come spilling out. 

It was the last thing she wanted Jinsoul to hear. She didn’t want Yerim overhearing it either. Not now. Not for a long time if she could avoid it. 

You could barely kill a wolf, she thought. And now it’s breaking you down. 

Her hands felt weak, as if the bowl would slip from them. She set it down on the ground. 

Jinsoul stood. She walked over to her side and sat down. There might’ve been half a metre of space. 

She hadn’t said anything. She hadn’t really needed to. It was enough of a question. 

Or did it count as an invitation? 

Jungeun risked meeting her eyes. 

Jinsoul was already looking at her. “You don’t have to tell me,” she said then. 

And there it was. What she hadn’t wanted to hear. 

Jungeun turned her head away and closed her eyes. No tears came, but that didn’t mean the feeling wasn’t there. “I’m not sure if you want to hear that,” she said. “I killed someone and got paid for it. Isn’t that—” She didn’t want to finish that sentence. Isn’t that what you hate?

“You regret it,” Jinsoul said. It wasn’t a question. “You can tell me what happened.” There was the lightest of presses on her shoulder. “I’ll listen.” 

Two words. 

Jungeun opened her eyes, but kept them forward. 

“He was young. I thought it’d be how we always did it.” She focused on the fire in front of them, feeling the way parts shot to the sky, before falling away, or sinking back down. “But he was already gone.” 

Jinsoul didn’t say anything. 

“I don’t know why it’s like this,” she said. “I can always move past it.” She wondered then if she’d said the wrong thing. 

Then again, Jinsoul knew that. It was why she’d taken so long to trust her. 

“Are you sure?” 

Jungeun looked up. “About what?” 

She frowned. “You don’t move past these things. At least not completely.” 

Jungeun looked away again. “I wasn’t there to kill him.”

It was quiet. Jungeun could hear the river, as well as owls in the distance. Some other animals’ footsteps were going further away too. 

Jinsoul hadn’t said anything. 

So Jungeun continued. “I didn’t know anything about what’d really happened until after he was gone.” 

“Maybe that was how they wanted it?” 

Jungeun shrugged. “Well, the witch did ask for me, so I guess she knew.” She scoffed. The fatigue was catching up again. “I wish I could’ve saved him.” It felt strange admitting that. The thought had never crossed her mind before. She’d once wished she didn’t have to fight. 

“You tried.” It was barely a question. “Your head was hurting earlier, wasn’t it?” Jinsoul nodded to the tent. “I saw plenty of the symptoms already today.” 

She didn’t reply to that. She didn’t want to hear Jinsoul’s reassurances. She knew that Jinsoul hadn’t been able to heal everyone. She knew that’d been painful for her. This wasn’t like that. 

“What do you usually do when this happens?” 

When I start losing it? Jungeun bit her tongue. “I leave.” 

Jinsoul looked away and nodded. “Will you?”

“I can’t.” The ground to the left looked like someone had buried something below it. Yerim might’ve used it to make herself a bit more comfortable. Or she’d given Jinsoul a seat. 

“She’d understand.” 

Jungeun shook her head. “That’s not the point,” she said. “There’s three of us and I think it’ll be good for her to have both of us along the way with her.” Then she realised how that sounded. “Unless that’s—”

“It’s fine,” Jinsoul cut in, but there was no edge to her voice. “I want to help her. Before she leaves, or if she stays, I’ll be there for her.” 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jinsoul lift a hand before letting it fall again. 

“For you too.” Jinsoul’s voice was quiet. 

Jungeun had to close her eyes again. “You don’t have to.” 

“I’d only be there if you wanted someone there. It can be anyone else, but,” she stopped then. There wasn’t disappointment in her voice, but some type of resignation. 

“Thank you,” Jungeun said. “I mean that.” 

Jinsoul was quiet. 

“But this’ll be over soon.” She grimaced at how that sounded. “I mean, it’ll be something that I—where I won’t be like this.” 

“Like this?” Jinsoul repeated. “You don’t have to force yourself to move past it. You can let yourself think about it too,” she said. “But you have to consider the rest too. He was already gone. His family already knew there wasn’t a high chance he’d live. You came to help him, and you still did.” 

Jungeun couldn’t help but frown. It was starting to sound like something the others would say. 

And then Jinsoul shook her head. “Yes, you killed him when you didn’t want to, but he was already gone. He wasn’t the person he was before, only driven by instinct. They’d already lost him.” 

“You don’t have to say that.”

“I think I should. At least once,” Jinsoul replied. “It doesn’t change that he’s dead, I know that, and you probably won’t believe that it could’ve been what was best, because I wouldn’t have thought that either.” 

Jungeun could barely believe her ears. There were some things over the years where Jinsoul had very clearly been uncomfortable with going along with. She’d ended up staying behind for some things, but Jungeun was almost certain she was close to hating most of what they were sent to do. 

When they left to help and only that, Jinsoul usually seemed relieved. Those were the ones that didn’t require killing anyone. 

“I think I should stop talking,” Jinsoul said quietly. “Should I stay here a while?” 

She almost wanted to say no. 

But if things were quiet, she’d start to think. If she thought, then she’d think back to what happened. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to hide it. 

Jungeun nodded. “If that’s okay.” 

Jinsoul gave her a smile that almost felt too gentle. She knew what had happened. She knew what Jungeun had done, and that she’d gotten paid for it. 

“It’s okay.” 

_____

Yerim was staring at the camp, gaze unreadable. She looked tired, as though the arrival had drained her. It probably had. While it hadn’t been that long, there’d been a lot of people. 

A bit of discussion too, when Jinsoul and Jungeun had volunteered to teach her. They hadn’t said that they’d already started. Yerim hadn’t wanted that. 

“If you wanted to,” Jinsoul lowered her voice, “you could go.” 

Yerim smiled weakly. “I know, but I won’t.” She sighed. “It just looks so normal,” she said. “Nothing like what the elders or anyone else said.” She looked back at her. “So either they were lying, or they just hadn’t seen any of this.”

“They made stories, because they didn’t know,” Jungeun said. “I thought it’d be a village of moonlight.” Her hand was at her side, gingerly tracing the edge of the bandages. Despite the healing magic, the wounds still hadn’t sealed properly yet. 

“I’d heard it’s a city,” Yerim said. “Everyone enveloped in blinding cloaks.” She looked back at the camp. “But they don’t even make the clothes out of light.” 

“It isn’t exactly subtle,” Jungeun replied. “But a lot do like to make their skin glow, mostly for how it feels, but also for how it looks.” Then she nodded at someone. “Like her, she loves that.” 

Sooyoung was coming over, a raised brow. She was glowing softly. “Gossiping?” she asked. “About me?” 

Jungeun laughed. “Sure.” She turned to Yerim. “This’s Sooyoung. A typical Astran, who we’re okay with.” 

Sooyoung scoffed. “You both love me.” Her expression softened when she met Yerim’s eyes. “Whatever they told you, don’t believe a word. I have my own stories about both, even her.” She glanced Jinsoul’s way. 

Yerim nodded. It looked like she wanted to smile, but wasn’t going to. “We’ll see if I’m around enough long enough to hear them.” 

Confusion spread across her face. “Oh.” 

Yerim looked away. “I’m really tired now. Maybe tomorrow I’ll hear the first.” The smile she had faltered almost as soon as it came. 

Sooyoung only nodded. 

Then Yerim stepped back, glancing at Jinsoul, before starting to walk away.  

Jungeun squeezed Sooyoung’s arm as they passed. I’ll explain later, that said. 

“Any requests for what we should cook? It’s Heejin’s turn,” Sooyoung asked, voice regaining her usual confidence. 

“As long as there’s noodles, I’m fine with it.” Jungeun grinned. It was lacking at the edges.  

Jinsoul walked a bit faster to reach her side. 

Yerim’s demeanour had barely changed from earlier. “Do I have to be awake during the night?” 

Jungeun was walking on her other side then. “No,” she said. “But early evening could be a time we get in some training?” 

Yerim shrugged. “Sure.” 

“Do you want your own tent, or are you okay with it being in ours?” 

Yerim’s brow shot up. “You’re okay with that?” She looked Jinsoul’s way, another question there. 

Jinsoul felt her face warm. “It’s fine. Perfectly.” 

“And we’re here.” Clearly, Jungeun hadn’t picked up on what she’d just suggested. She went into the tent. “I can get you a bedroll, or build another tent.” She turned to Yerim, looking a bit more hesitant with each second. “I get nightmares,” she said. “And it’s nothing bad, but,” she glanced at Jinsoul, “I don’t know if it’ll make your stay here worse or not.” 

Yerim looked at her for a long moment. “We probably won’t be sleeping at the same time,” she said. “And even if we did, it’d be fine.”

“Then I’ll get it set up.” Jungeun smiled at her, before walking off. 

Jinsoul opened the entrance of the tent. Yerim walked past her and into the tent. 

Her expression changed almost immediately. It was a combination of homesickness and frustration. 

“How’d you manage it?” Yerim asked. “I felt like I was the exotic animal you’d dragged halfway across the world.”

Jinsoul nodded. “It stops after a few days,” she said. “Maybe even less for you.”

“Because they get over the shock?” Yerim sat down on the ground, pulling her knees to her chest. “Because I’m just another surprise?” 

“I wouldn’t put it like that.” Jinsoul sat down beside her. “But in a way, we all were.” She copied the way she sat, resting her cheek on her knees to look at her. “It won’t last. Around the right people.” 

Yerim hummed once. “Is Sooyoung one of them?” 

She nodded. “So is Haseul. She wasn’t there, but she helped Jungeun and me. So did Sooyoung.” 

“Are they going to do that with me too?” Yerim didn’t look like the thought had been a comfort to her. 

“Only if you want their help,” Jinsoul said. “For now, it’ll just be the two of us.” She nodded at Jungeun’s bedroll. It’d been scorched in two places in stretches as long as her arm. They’d been there even before Jinsoul had come here. She’d always wondered if it’d been from a nightmare she hadn’t been able to wake up from. 

“Good.” Yerim was looking at the ground again. “Thank you.” 

The flap of the tent opened and Jungeun came in. Her expression transformed within an instant, going from blank to a smile when she saw them. 

Jinsoul couldn’t help but feel uneasy. She hadn’t ever seen Jungeun cry until she’d come back from fighting the werewolf. There’d been other times that’d taken their toll on both of them, but Jungeun had never reacted the way she had. 

“Where do you wanna sleep?”

“I don’t mind,” Yerim muttered. “Maybe here?” She pointed next to her, right at the edge of the tent. 

Jungeun just nodded and came over. 

“Why’re there maps?” Yerim asked then. 

“I plan my trips,” Jungeun said. “And I like to know if there might be places I have to pass by.” She looked her way. “There’s a few groups all around, ones who see if there’re spirits elsewhere and deal with them if they have to.” Her gaze softened then. “It’s sometimes an option if you want to stay here, but not be in the camp.” 

Jinsoul watched for Yerim’s reaction. There wasn’t really a flicker of interest there, but she looked a bit more awake. 

“I think I met one of them once.” She frowned slightly. “They don’t just hunt spirits.”

Jungeun nodded. “It’s mostly an extended patrol. Working with the elves or fairies there, but also the witches if they need to.” 

“Have you ever gone?”

“A few times,” she replied. “But it’s—I mean, I prefer it here.”

Jinsoul suddenly thought of one of the first times she’d spoken to Sua, what she’d told her about when Jungeun had gone. 

“So it’s not permanent,” Yerim said. “You can go and then come back?”

“I’ve left to go off completely on my own before, and then come back.” 

There was the smallest of frowns on Yerim’s face. It left it soon after. 

Jinsoul wondered how long it would take for her to know what that meant. She’d probably end up asking soon enough. 

“And it’s really okay if I sleep at night? At least right now?”

“Yes,” Jinsoul said. “But it might end up being really loud. And you could sense a lot of people coming this way.”

“I know,” Yerim shrugged, “if I hate it, I’ll just get up.” 

“Here’s some more clothes too,” Jungeun set it down at the foot of the bedroll, “also the rest to clean your teeth and all that.” 

“Thank you.” She crawled over to it. “I’ll probably be more awake in a few days. Maybe tomorrow.” She sighed. “Or I could try the potions you two were taking?”

“Depends on whether or not you want to change your sleep schedule,” Jinsoul said. “At first, you’ll be absorbing a lot of light to try and keep yourself awake at night. Then you’ll be awake for most of the day.”

Yerim nodded once. “So if I try sleeping through most of tomorrow morning?”

“It’s a start.”

Then she lay down. 

Jinsoul looked Jungeun’s way, before getting up. 

They both left the tent. 

Someone was waiting, but a bit further away. 

Jinsoul watched Jungeun start to smile as they walked over. 

“I missed some of it,” Haseul said. “But I’m glad you’re both doing this.” She met Jinsoul’s eyes, nodding once. 

“Where were you?” Jungeun asked. 

Concern flickered in Haseul’s gaze the moment she looked Jungeun’s way. “Another little deal for moonlight,” she replied. “I got direct deliveries of fish for a month. Then a set of blades and shields I’ll have to sell on next time.” 

Jungeun went over to a fire pit, lit the fire, and sat down. 

Before Jinsoul followed, Haseul caught her eye. There was a question there. 

She was surprised that Haseul had seen the change so quickly. 

Later, Jinsoul mouthed. A part of her didn’t doubt that Jungeun would tell Haseul as well. They didn’t go on patrols or anything. Jungeun had always said it was because the last thing she wanted to be involved with was trade or the political element of their society. She also admitted that she was technically not free of it, but preferred to ignore it. 

“What do you think?” She tilted her head to the tent. 

“It’ll take time,” Jungeun whispered. “And she might leave.” 

Haseul frowned. “Really?”

She shrugged. “I wouldn’t blame her.”

“But you both stayed.”

Jungeun looked Jinsoul’s way. “We did.” 

Jinsoul nearly smiled. “We just have to give her time. Actual time, not just a few weeks.” 

Haseul nodded. “You’ll have it.” The corner of her lip tugged up. “I’m happy you’re doing this.” 

She blushed slightly. “I have too.”

Haseul shrugged. “No one has to.” She glanced at Jungeun then. 

Jinsoul looked her way as well, only to see that Jungeun wasn’t looking at either of them. Her ears were slowly turning pink. 

“I think she’ll stay,” Jinsoul said. “But all we can do is wait.” 

“Hyejoo was asking about her,” Haseul smiled fully then, “when do you think they can give her a little visit?”

“After her first hunt,” Jungeun replied. She looked up from the ground, meeting Jinsoul’s eyes this time. “When she’s ready.”

Jinsoul nodded. She couldn’t help but feel relieved at the conviction in her eyes. It was so different from that look before. It was one she wanted to see more. 

_____

Jungeun was cold. 

The first thing Jinsoul saw was how tightly she’d wrapped the blanket around her. She was shivering. 

Jinsoul fought a sigh. It wasn’t a surprise, but she’d thought Jungeun had stayed warm enough not to get sick. 

Then again, after the werewolf, her skin hadn’t been as warm, and all the stress from it had plummeted the moment she’d drunk the light. The healing had also been focused on her wounds, not a potential infection. 

“Jungeun.” Jinsoul got up, going to her side. The air wasn’t getting warmer. That was a good sign. 

And then Jungeun let out a small sound. It sounded pained. 

“Is she okay?”

Right, Yerim was also here. 

“Just a nightmare,” Jinsoul replied. “But it’s better to wake her up.” 

“There’s ways to avoid that,” Yerim said. “Hasn’t she done that?” 

“Sometimes.” Jinsoul put a hand to her shoulder, shaking her slightly. “Jungeun?” She shook her harder. 

Her eyes opened. 

And then the memory filled Jinsoul’s head. 

Everything was white. She was freezing. She was also stumbling through snow, trying desperately not to fall. One of her legs was hurt, but she hadn’t slowed much more than normal. 

And someone was coming her way. Quickly. 

The ground shook. 

She leapt out of the way then. An entire platform of ice flew up, launching her into the air. She landed on the bad leg and screamed. 

A thin spurt of fire left her hands, already in search of someone. 

A sharp cry let her know she’d hit the target. 

She felt herself smile. Her lips cracked, dried from the cold. 

Then her vision cleared. Jungeun was talking to Yerim. 

“I don’t know. Seeing dreams isn’t impossible,” she said. Then she looked at Jinsoul. “Are you okay?” 

Jinsoul felt caught, as if she’d once again seen something she shouldn’t have. “Fine.” 

Jungeun frowned. 

“So you saw her dream?” Yerim asked. 

A memory. Jinsoul nodded. “What’s it look like when it happens?” 

“Your eye turns white,” she said. 

“And you don’t see us,” Jungeun added. She looked worried. Her eyes were dimmer too. 

“You’re sick again.” 

Jungeun blinked. 

“Anyone hungry?” Yerim asked. “I am.” 

 Before either of them could answer, Yerim left the tent. 

Jungeun laughed. She coughed afterwards. 

“Told you,” Jinsoul muttered. 

“One cough,” Jungeun retorted. “Not sick.” 

She lifted a hand to her forehead. It was cold. “You are.” She wondered how sick Jungeun had been after she’d left that place of ice.

Then Jungeun fixed her with a questioning gaze. “What did you see?” 

Again, Jinsoul felt caught. She shouldn’t have seen what she had before, nor what she had now. 

“Was it the north? Or the south?”

Jungeun took a deep breath. “South.”

“Why would you go there?” She didn’t want to ask what had happened to the attacker, or even what’d happened before really. 

She chuckled. “It’s supposed to be the coldest place,” Jungeun said. “I wanted to see what’d end up happening.” 

Jinsoul almost couldn’t believe her ears. Except it made sense. 

“And what did?” Yerim had poked her head through the tent’s opening. “Sorry, I heard you went to Antarctica. I’ve always wanted to go.” 

“The fires burnt out,” Jungeun said. “But I saw those lights in the sky, the different colours.”

“I’ve seen them in the north.” She started to smile. It was a relief to see that expression. “I’d heard they were in the south too, but I’d never believed that.” 

Jungeun grinned. “It’s beautiful.” 

“Food’s ready,” Yerim said. “It’s my breakfast, so you’re having eggs.” She fixed a look Jungeun’s way. “And there’s spice on the side.”

Jungeun pushed herself to her feet, wincing slightly. She glanced at Jinsoul. “It’s just not healed yet, it’ll be by the end of the weak.” 

“Your own healing slows down when you’re sick,” Jinsoul said. 

She lightly pushed her shoulder as they went to the fire-pit. “What do I have to make?”

Jinsoul quickly went back into the tent then. She came out with a small sack. She pushed it into Jungeun’s hands. 

Jungeun looked at it, then back to her. 

“I got that from Yeri.” She looked around the camp. It was empty, everyone asleep. 

And the sun was burning brightly in the sky. 

“How much?” Jungeun opened it, peeking down at the leaves and powder. 

Yeri hadn’t accepted any money, let alone a favour. “The family we healed two months ago.”

Jungeun frowned at her. “When did you get these?”

Jinsoul almost didn’t want to answer that. 

“Here.” Yerim pushed a bowl into both their hands. It was smoothly formed wood. “Eating something’s also good for your health.” Then she looked at the leaves. “You use eucalyptus for this?” 

“If she starts getting a lung infection.” 

Yerim raised a brow at Jungeun. “And this happens enough that it’s normal?” 

She laughed softly. “The season changes and I’m terrible with cold temperatures.”

Her brow rose higher. “And you went to Antarctica?”

Jungeun looked embarrassed when she nodded. 

“It’s almost like if she went to a volcano, or you went into the actual ocean.”

“She has,” Jinsoul said. “But I never went to a volcano.” She wasn’t vulnerable to heat, but she didn’t really like it either. 

“The ocean,” Yerim repeated. She stared at Jungeun. “Are you mad, or,” she looked Jinsoul’s way, “you’re used to this?”

“She helped me actually get into the ocean,” Jungeun replied. She was smiling. “So that’s not new to her.”

“You being in the south was,” Jinsoul nudged her leg with her foot, “please tell me that was the only time you went.”

When she didn’t say anything, Jinsoul exchanged a look with Yerim. 

“You really are crazy,” Yerim said, shaking her head. “People can go their entire lives without freezing. You could’ve been one of them. When do you ever need to go to the coldest places?” 

Jungeun chuckled. “I’d explain myself, but it’d probably just sound worse.”

“But it isn’t?” Yerim frowned. 

“I don’t recommend it,” she replied. “But it helped me learn how to get better against cold and ice.”

And then the understanding came. Yerim looked once Jinsoul’s way, before she nodded. 

“This’s good,” Jungeun said. She kept eating the eggs. A not so subtle change the subject. 

Yerim let it happen. Instead of the cold, she asked about the different duties of the Astra. 

They told her what they could, including the things they did around camp. 

Jungeun’s coughs got progressively worse. 

So Jinsoul made the tea, let a bit of moonlight go into the water, before sending her to go sleep. Surprisingly, Jungeun listened. 

They sat by the fire. Even though the sky was blue and the sun was bright, the air was cold. Jinsoul liked winter, but she usually paid little attention to when the seasons changed. Now she did. 

“So that’s how she is?” Yerim was looking at the tent. “If anything could be a weakness, she’ll just go to the extreme?”

“She sees what her limits are, or tries to not be afraid.”

“Does it work?” 

Jinsoul shrugged. “She’s still afraid of the ocean,”she said. “But she knows what to expect.”

“But you can avoid that,” Yerim said quietly. “If you know there’s an ice-wielder, or anything like that, you can avoid them.”

“She won’t.” 

“Why?” She frowned. “That’s like staying in front of a drawn bow, just waiting for the arrow to leave.”

Jinsoul didn’t nod, but she also didn’t deny it. It wasn’t her place to explain that part of Jungeun’s life. Yerim would probably realise what it was over time, or maybe Jungeun would tell her. She didn’t know. 

Then Yerim nodded. “She can’t actually avoid them either. The ones who come after her.”

Jinsoul thought of the fight she’d seen in the ice. 

“She could,” Jinsoul said. 

“But she won’t?” Yerim finished. 

Jinsoul nodded. 

_____

“So how was Jinsoul on all this?” Haseul asked, leaning back on her elbows. “Difficult again?”

Jungeun shook her head. “She was great.” She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself. The worst of whatever illness had awaited her hadn’t come. She still had a chill, a sore throat, and a headache. 

Sooyoung hummed once. “Good.” There was an edge to those words. 

Jungeun couldn’t help but frown. 

She gave her a look. “What, I can still be bitter about it, can’t I?”

“That was years ago. And I’m not.”

“You never were,” Haseul said. 

Jungeun fought a retort to that, almost saying that neither of them should’ve been angry before and that both should’ve forgotten about it now. 

“I didn’t have to be,” Jungeun replied. “And if there was anything she had to make up for, which she didn’t, that was settled in the first year.”

Both looked unconvinced. 

“All of you have to drop this,” Jungeun said. “She’s done so much good for us and how she thinks of me does nothing for any of that.”

“Thinks?” Haseul repeated. “You mean she still does?”

“It’s not something you can just drop,” Jungeun snapped. “And me coming back covered in the blood of a mortal doesn’t really help, does it?” 

“Did she say something about that? Did it look like she was disgusted by it?”

Jungeun could only remember the reassurances. 

“She’s a lot better than at the start, I’ll give you that,” Sooyoung said. “But don’t forget that the same logic could be flipped around.”

A part of her recoiled at the words. “It isn’t the same. At all.” Revulsion crawled up . She’d never thrown up when she got sick, but maybe this was new. 

“But Yerim doesn’t have any of that, right?” Sooyoung asked. She’d come away from the bite in her voice. She was dropping it. For now. 

Jungeun felt herself relax. She thought of Yerim’s reaction when she’d realised who Jinsoul was, even afterwards. It’d been conflicted, trying to reconcile what’d happened to her with the person she who was trying to help her. Jungeun had barely needed to tell Yerim much else. Jinsoul had managed to gain some of Yerim’s trust pretty well on her own. 

“Not really,” she said. “But she’s heard a lot about how we live here, how we are. Most of it’s wrong, but it’ll take a while to see that.” 

“If she stays that long,” Haseul added. She looked worried. “But where would she go?” 

“To the Warsa, at least the ones she knows,” Jungeun replied. “But I don’t know how it’d be different from here. She still wouldn’t be at home.” 

“Was it true?” Sooyoung asked. “Did they force her to go?” 

“More or less,” Jungeun grimaced, “they were terrified of spirits coming.” 

“Do you think she’ll ever go to visit them? Her parents?” 

Her heart sank at the thought. Had Yerim’s parents let her go? 

Then she felt cold. Did she still have hers? 

“I don’t know,” Jungeun said. “But that’ll be something to think about in a few months, maybe years.” 

They nodded. 

“Do you want help?” Haseul asked. “Training? Or just telling her about who we are?” 

“Not yet,” Jungeun smiled, “unless she comes to you.”

Sooyoung’s eyes fell. She knew how that worked, with both Chaewon and Hyejoo. 

“We’ll keep Freya and the rest from meddling,” Haseul promised. “Buy you that time she needs to adjust.”

Sooyoung snorted then. “Some of them still think it’s easy to shift from day to night.” 

“It is with the right drink,” Jungeun said. 

She rolled her eyes. “They’ve never seen a full week of sunlight.” 

Out of habit, Jungeun looked to see if anyone was listening. Neither Haseul nor Sooyoung really cared. 

“Did Jinsoul give you the cream for the sun too?” Sooyoung raised a brow. “Or just tea for your little cold?” 

Jungeun tossed a ball of moonlight at her head. “I don’t burn, you idiot.” 

She grinned back at her. The ball hovered close to her nose. “Is it awkward having a third person around?” 

Haseul laughed. 

Jungeun wondered how quickly they’d dodge a burst of fire. 

Sooyoung cackled. “Kidding, I know you two aren’t doing anything in there.” She gave her a look. “But I would’ve thought all that bite she had before would’ve gone somewhere else.” 

Jungeun abandoned the blanket. 

Sooyoung shrieked when Jungeun flipped her onto her back. Then she laughed. “Aren’t you supposed to not move around?” 

She flicked her forehead once. Hard. 

“Ow.” Sooyoung shut her eyes. “They say that’s not good for the thing inside the skull, the—what’d they call it?” 

“Your brain,” Haseul said. “But yours might be small enough that it’ll survive.” 

Jungeun went back to where she’d been sitting. Her face was warm. 

Thankfully, they went back to talking about the current negotiations and other discussions. At first, Jungeun had been surprised that the two would even talk about any of it around her. Over time, she’d gotten used to it. She’d also realised that both Haseul and Sooyoung had agreed that Jungeun should know exactly what was going on. Even more surprising, they wanted her to weigh in on the different points. 

This time it was something about how there’d been more spirits killing mortals. There weren’t many, but in the past years the number had been rising. Every now and then a mortal died with their eyes taken over completely by black. 

“The fae’re paranoid,” Sooyoung explained. “Both kinds.” She shook her head. “Are we supposed to guard the towns now?” 

“Renew the wards?” Haseul shrugged. “It’s been twenty years since the last ones.” 

“And then the next one will be at another battlefield,” Jungeun said. “It won’t be something that’ll stop.” 

“Then more hunts?” Sooyoung asked. “Or longer ones?”

“Longer ranges,” she replied. “Nothing’s happening immediately around us, because that’s where everyone goes.” She wrapped the blanket a little tighter around herself. 

“I thought that too,” Haseul said. “But I don’t know how they’ll react to being even further away from home.” 

“I can ask Jinsoul and Yerim. Maybe we’ll go first, or the four of you.” She nodded at Sooyoung. 

She smiled. “Can’t wait to rub it in Teveril’s face.“

“I think he’d like that,” Haseul said under her breath. 

Sooyoung just winked at her. “He can dream.” 

Briefly, Jungeun thought of Jiwoo. She pushed the thought from her mind then. It was hard to tell what was going on with them. 

And it also wasn’t anything she’d pry at. She’d asked in the beginning, only to see an expression on Jiwoo’s face that she never wanted to see again. It’d gone soon after, but it’d made it so very clear that the subject was off limits. 

“But how are you?” Sooyoung asked then. “Other than being freezing again?” Despite the bit of humour, Jungeun could still see the undertones of concern there. 

She debated dismissing it. 

Then she saw the same question and concern in Haseul’s eyes. 

“Fine,” she said. “But the last thing I got sent out for,” she sighed, “that I didn’t—they hadn’t—I hadn’t known—I thought I’d be able to help him.” She focused on the fire instead of the other two. 

“Would it’ve changed anything if you’d known?” Haseul asked. She put her hand over Jungeun’s, prying the fingers out of the fist she’d made. 

Jungeun just nodded. She wondered what that said about her. 

“Then don’t blame yourself so much,” she said. 

“And,” Sooyoung added, “they would’ve ended up having to do it, or they’d have sent for someone else.” 

“I know.”

Haseul raised a brow. “Do you actually mean that?” 

Jungeun nodded again. 

Sooyoung came to her other side and hugged her. “When you’re better, the three of you should just do the hunts. No other jobs.” She lightly patted her head. “Because you’re not going anywhere else, right?”

She shook her head. 

Haseul pressed the lightest of kisses to her cheek. “But if you have to, then we’ll see what we can do.” 

“Thanks,” Jungeun muttered as Sooyoung pulled away. “We’ll see.” 

She left it open for them, but she’d already made up her mind. She wouldn’t be leaving, not until after they knew what Yerim was going to do. 

_____

Twenty-five

 

“Jungeun,” her father went over to her, arms reaching out, “you don’t have to do this again. I won’t send—“ 

“That won’t matter,” she said, “they’ll send me anyway.” 

He shook his head. “They won’t—“ 

“No,” Jungeun cut him off. “They will.” The reality sank into her heart. “Wasn’t I born for this?” she asked. “You’re going to give me a few years away, but then I’ll be sent in to hunt a vampire again, then a wolf. After that I’ll get another story of a rogue elf and have to go after them. Then you’ll give me another group and each time, I’ll have to be ready for the people who want me dead for what I did.” 

Daran’s arms fell to his sides. His normally calm expression had started to falter. 

Jungeun looked away. She didn’t need to see that. Not now. She could still see the rage in their eyes. She could still hear how they’d cursed her for what she’d done. 

Her ears still rang with the sounds of their screams. 

“I don’t want to kill them,” Jungeun whispered. 

“They’d kill you,” Daran said. “You can’t let that happen.” Pain had seeped into his voice. 

Jungeun managed to ignore it. “There’s a lot who’d want that.”

“And just as many who don’t.” 

She frowned. “And what happens in ten years? Twenty? A hundred?”she asked. Her voice was slowly rising to a shout. “This won’t stop. Whatever life you said I’m supposed to have, it’ll keep going. The number will rise and once there’s more people who want me dead than alive, then what?” 

“You’ll keep going,” a new voice said. 

Jungeun nearly lashed out then, but she forced the anger down. 

“I’m sorry for what happened,” Diana said. She walked until she was at her father’s side. “But you knew it would. You knew what you were training for.” 

Jungeun looked away. Of course she had, but what she’d done—

“Your eyes are red,” she continued. “What does that mean?” 

“I’ll see blood spilled.” Jungeun had searched for others in the camp who’d had red eyes. She’d found no one. Not even the ones who’d fought the longest. 

“You were born under the red moon.”

Jungeun’s eyes were burning. When she blinked her vision grew clouded. She forced the tears down. They wouldn’t change anything. She’d only look more pathetic. 

“What did that mean?” Diana asked. 

She could still feel the wounds they’d given her. She could still see their faces. 

She also remembered who they were avenging. It should have been a simple intervention, one where she’d keep them from reaching a group of fae. They hadn’t thought to be scared of her, so they’d attacked. 

“Jungeun,” she put a hand to her shoulder, “the red moon?”

“The blood,” Jungeun forced out, “I’ll be the reason for it.”

“You’ll be a warrior,” Diana said. “And you’re strong enough to bear the weight of it.” 

Jungeun bit back a protest. She wished she could’ve forced herself to say something. She’d wanted to fight. She’d wanted to run. 

Though she knew he’d have been the last person to do so, she wished her father could’ve told Diana to tell her all this another day. 

She’d longed to hear someone else to speak then. So many had been listening from the edges of the clearing. They could’ve denounced the moon and what it meant. She wished they’d told her she could stop. 

“But take time away,” Diana smiled at her, “you’ve done all you’ve needed to for some years.” 

Jungeun nodded once. Relief filled her almost instantly. 

“You’re protecting us, fighting the battles we cannot,” Diana said. “We need you.” 

_____

Author's Note 

This ended up being longer than I expected, but it covered a lot of what I'd wanted to get to. I definitely reiterated a few things that have more or less been discussed before about Jungeun's character, but I wanted to show it through the lens of 'ten years later' as well as how it'd be 'presented' to Yerim and seen by Haseul and Sooyoung. 

I'm at the end of an extremely busy week. Next week will probably also be that way, but writing hasn't exactly slowed for me. I was very focused on this story, which is why I managed to get the update finished when I did. However, it might take a bit more time for the next one. 

Do let me know what you think! Your comments always inspire me to keep writing and make better an already enjoyable experience. Even so, thank you all so much for reading, no matter if you comment or read along silently, it means the world to me that you're reading this story and enjoying it as well. 

I hope you're all doing well. See you next chapter. 

Twt: hblake44

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