Jungeun continued to be quiet on the way back. Small hitches in her breath came every now and then, but she didn’t ever wince. 

Jinsoul had seen a fair amount of people who could put on that same expression, seemingly unbothered. It was either because they had an image to uphold or didn’t want to make people seem more concerned than normal. 

“You should be getting back to camp.” Jinsoul felt odd breaking the silence. 

“Yeri first,” Jungeun said curtly. “Then I’ll go back.” She paused. “You should go back.”

She nearly called her an idiot then and there. Someone had come after her, what if another came? Or if a vampire picked up on her scent, fully taking advantage of her weakness. 

“You’re going to ask about what happened?” She nodded behind them. 

“That and if anyone else’s looking for me.”

It reminded her of Sooyoung and the others. “Why don’t you use a different name?” Of all people, Jungeun should’ve had one. 

“Didn’t in the beginning,” she muttered. “So it doesn’t make a lot of sense now.” Her eyes were abnormally bright. Still made vibrant from her magic. 

That wasn’t the real answer. Jinsoul hadn’t expected to catch a lie, but she didn’t think she should’ve questioned it. 

“Jungeun,” she started. 

“Just get to the point,” Jungeun snapped. “Ask me what you want and don’t dance around the subject.”

Jinsoul looked at her, not seeing irritation, but desperation instead. 

Her eyes softened. “Sorry,” she muttered. “But if there’s something you want to know, just ask me.” She looked away. 

Jinsoul could feel the tears building in Jungeun’s eyes. They weren’t appearing in them. 

“Why did you let her live?”

“I wasn’t letting her live,” she shook her head,” I–, I–“ She grit her teeth. “I didn’t fight her so one of us would die. Maybe,” her hand lifted to her arm, “maybe the right thing would be to let them do what they want, but I don’t have a death wish.”

“And if they overpower you?” 

“Then they get what they want.” Jungeun snorted slightly. Then she winced. “I don’t do all this thinking I’ll win. That’d really get me killed.” She met Jinsoul’s eyes. 

The look there made her pause. The way she spoke made it seem as if she didn’t care what happened. At the same time, she looked disheartened by what she was saying. It was as if she’d accepted this for quite some time, but the thought hadn’t given her much peace. 

And of course it wouldn’t. Not wanting to die, but also being prepared for it, wasn’t how most lived out eternity. 

“So that’s what that was?” Jinsoul frowned. “You were just going to let whatever happened happen?” 

She didn’t say anything. 

“That’s why you don’t hide your name?” 

Jungeun had clenched her jaw. It slowly relaxed. Now she just looked tired. 

“Sometimes they start hunting me immediately, but some get stopped by their people, forced to wait, but don't even come after me at all,” she said. “And the journey until they get there, to leaving, that can take years.” She looked at her hands. “The actual path they take, though, that shouldn’t be longer than it has to be.”

“And when they get to the end of it, they fail.” Jinsoul knew that sounded terrible, but she needed to make some sort of sense of this. Especially now that it was becoming very clear just how much thought Jungeun actually put into this. 

“I know,” Jungeun glanced her way, “but again, I’m not looking to die. Maybe you think that’s one of the worser things I’ve done and it probably is.” She sighed. “And some come back, maybe with more people, or they just stop. Maybe they give up, or maybe they end up moving on, I don’t know.”

“But killing them doesn’t let any of that happen?”

Jungeun put a hand to her forehead, before running it through her hair. Dried blood clung to the ends of several strands. “No.”

They kept walking. Jinsoul could still hear the sharp intakes of breath with certain steps. Some of the cuts hadn’t clotted yet. Jungeun’s clothes were soaked with blood, a lot of it having dried. She didn’t seem to care. 

“You do know those could get infected, right?” 

Jungeun laughed softly. “There’re salves and spells if that happened.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to wait until it gets worse.”

“I’ll buy one off of Yeri.”

Jinsoul nearly offered to clean the wounds. They were close enough to the river for that. She’d already wrapped her foot in a thin film of ice. It was cold, very cold, but it’d keep it from getting worse. It’d already stopped hurting as much. 

But the offer didn’t reach her lips. 

And Jungeun kept her gaze turned forward. She didn’t look like she was in as much pain as before. It made Jinsoul wonder just how used to pain Jungeun was. She was also very sure that wasn’t a good thing. 

For obvious reasons, Jungeun wasn’t taking the direct route to Yeri’s house. It made for a longer trip, which Jinsoul still thought should’ve been skipped entirely. But even then, being out of sight made more than enough sense given that Jungeun’s clothes had turned red. 

Jinsoul spotted some fires in the distance, but it was otherwise very quiet. The night was usually like that. Just not for the Astra. 

Jungeun was looking around. She was about to keep going. 

“Wait,” Jinsoul said. 

She stopped, her skin glowing ever so slightly. 

Jinsoul debated just telling her she’d heal her when they got to Yuri’s. That’s be something, maybe even a bit of a peace offering. 

She knew it wasn’t enough. Jinsoul still didn’t understand Jungeun and she still wasn’t sure if that was something she actually wanted. 

But the fire elf had admitted a lot, all of it honest. 

“It’s not selfish,” Jinsoul said. “You wanting to live. It’s normal.” After a few seconds, she just added, “even if a lot of people never get into situations like that.”

Jungeun raised a brow. “Situation is one word for it.”

She gave her a look. “What I mean is that,” she faltered. How was she supposed to explain that? Was there an explanation? It was supposed to be simple—it wasn’t a bad thing not to have a death wish. 

Jungeun smiled slightly, the look in her eyes a bit brighter than before. “I know what you mean, Jinsoul,” she said. “And—” She broke off as well. “Let’s keep going.” She nodded at her before turning around. 

Jinsoul felt like she’d failed to say what she’d wanted to, but she didn’t know else she could’ve said it. The only other options risked ignoring the fact that someone had come to get revenge for what Jungeun had done. 

______

Yeri nearly broke down when she saw Jungeun. Jinsoul hadn’t expected there to be any attachment beyond normal joking around. She was missing something there. 

“Calm down;” Jungeun raised bloodied hands, “I’m fine.”

“Fine?” Yeri went straight to the shelves on the opposite wall. “Fine,” she repeated. “There’s more blood on you than in you.”

She looked like she was fighting a smile. “First, it looks worse than it is. Second, I’m about four hundred years old and I know this isn’t that bad.” Then she went over to her, gingerly stepping over a rune on the ground. “And I’m not here to get healed. I’d tell if you if I was.”

Yeri stopped rummaging around. She didn’t look convinced. “Who did it?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Jungeun said. “But can you find out if anyone else has been looking?” 

A frown broke out across her face. “Again?” The expression she wore was very similar to Hyejoo and Chaewon’s earlier. 

Jungeun’s gaze softened. She smiled ever so slightly. “I’ll get you the same as last time. Double.”

The witch looked like she was going to decline whatever that offer was. Then she looked Jinsoul’s way and just nodded. 

“Just,” Yeri sighed, “sit down.” She looked back to Jinsoul. “You can use whatever you need here.” A pointed nod at Jinsoul’s foot. 

Then she disappeared into another room. Jinsoul heard her walking up stairs. 

Jungeun did sit down. The smile on her face melted away in the next moment. 

Jinsoul realised she didn’t want to see that expression anymore, so she looked to the shelves. 

Yeri was organised, having arranged things by their effect and potency. The labels were neat, but nothing on what was actually in them. 

Closing her eyes, Jinsoul searched the house for water, finding several collections of it. A fair amount was from the river, some was rainwater, and another part had been summoned. Why she needed three different types, Jinsoul didn’t know. 

Jinsoul picked up a vial and placed a drop on her finger. One taste and she saw there was no trace of wolfsbane, but instead wormwood. She put the vial back and kept looking. 

“You’re taking being struck by lightning well.”

A short chuckle. “It’s not the first time.” Jungeun was staring at the opposite wall. Her hair had been cleared away from her shoulders, revealing a cut that looped around the back of her neck. A lucky hit, even more so that it was only along the surface. “It’s a little like fire, but a lot faster. Hotter too.”

“And that’s why it’s bearable?” Jinsoul had gotten what she needed. Yeri had an impressive stock of healing creams and draughts. They took a bit of time to make, but were mostly just annoying to brew. She made a mental note to make them for her the next time they had patrol.

They. It was expected for Jinsoul to go with Jungeun on patrol. As much as she liked Sooyoung and the rest, she felt more than a little strange being alone with that group. It didn’t help that she was pretty sure that they almost were almost definitely starting to dislike her for how she acted towards Jungeun. 

“You could say that,” she shrugged. “I have to focus so it doesn’t burn me. At least not always. Can’t do much against the shock though, or when they have enough force.” She absentmindedly traced her neck. 

Jinsoul frowned. “Focus?” 

Jungeun smiled, but it was slightly strained. “It’s a bit like your water breathing. The capacity to do it is there to survive, but you have to train it. At least if you’re born without resistance.” She looked away from the wall. Confusion flowed into her eyes. “Is that everything you’ll need for your foot?” Guilt joined that confusion. 

“Mine’s healing properly. It’s also been cleaned,” Jinsoul said. “None of yours have been.” 

As she walked over, she paid particular attention to the floor for any jinxes. The last thing she needed was a high-pitched voice or dancing feet. 

Jungeun was already shaking her head. “Like I said,” she waved at the two of them, “immortal. I don’t need that.” 

“You’ll be wishing you’d gotten this once the infection comes.” Jinsoul set the things down on the table. “So don’t be stubborn.” 

She regarded her with flame-filled eyes. Jinsoul could feel the warmth radiating from them. It wasn’t like before, where the air had been too hot. It was like being beside a normal fire. 

“You do know you’re also being stubborn, right?” Jungeun looked at the supples with weary eyes. 

“I’m allowed to be.” Jinsoul took hold of the river water down the hall and brought it over. It wasn’t enchanted or mixed with anything, but it had been boiled, removing all potential impurities. Jinsoul had once struggled with that. 

A glowing white bowl appeared underneath it. Jinsoul let the water flow in. She counted Jungeun summoning it as a small victory. 

“Bit bigger,” Jinsoul said. 

It widened. 

“This’ll feel odd,” she put the water onto Jungeun’s arm and neck, “but it’s how this works.” She attached a portion across her chest, the rest coating everywhere else where there was an injury. 

Jungeun was looking at her arm, unusually focused. 

Jinsoul knelt down and started drawing healing runes onto the ground below her with the rest of the water. 

“It solidifies?” Jungeun asked, sounding stunned. “And it’s not ice?”

She fought a smile. “It depends. Some people heal just by soaking it into someone’s skin. I could too, but the runes work faster. And the other way takes more energy.” She finished the runes and stood. 

Jungeun stared at the water. In her eyes, Jinsoul swore she saw awe, as if that water were something beyond normal magic. 

“It even takes a lot of the pain away,” Jungeun muttered. 

Jinsoul peeled away the water, letting it fall into the basin of moonlight. Then she summoned a second bowl of moonlight. It seemed especially bright to her eyes. Or Jungeun’s light was lacking its usual glow. 

She drew on only the water, watching as dirt, blood, and fragments of cloth were left behind in the bowl. 

“I need to clean your wounds one more time. Then I’ll put the rest on.”

Jungeun nodded, a distant look in her eyes, as if she still couldn’t believe what she was seeing. 

“Is this the first time you’ve seen a healer work?” Jinsoul started with her arm, letting the water flow over the wound, not too hard to avoid irritating it. As it flowed over her skin, it glittered, reflecting the light from the moonlight in the room. 

She laughed. “Nope, but it’s the first time I’ve seen someone use water like this.”

Jinsoul caught an odd flicker or emotion in her eyes. “Like this?” She moved on to her leg. “You mean you’ve just seen it used as a weapon.” 

A small nod. 

She wondered if Jungeun had a fear of water. Certain fire wielders could barely face those with ice, but also air. If their breath was stolen, heat could be made, but no fire. It worked the other way too, but usually a lot less stronger. Unless that person was still haunted by the last time they’d encountered fire. 

“Do you miss healing people?” Jungeun wasn’t looking at her. By the hesitance in her voice, she wasn’t expecting a reply. 

“More or less,” Jinsoul admitted. “Helping them, seeing them recover, survive, it’s always been important.” She started working on cleaning Jungeun’s chest. She couldn’t see too much through the tears in the clothes, but she still avoided looking at anything but the injuries. “You’re lucky it didn’t pierce your lung,” she muttered. “But the muscles are definitely shot for now.” How she even breathed without crying out was almost miraculous.

“What about the less part?” Jungeun glanced up. “You don’t have to ans—”

“It’s fine,” Jinsoul said. She cleaned the water again, before putting the water patches on the injuries. “Like everything it’s tiring after a while.” She’d been called to many camps several times, or they’d come to her. She’d been doing what she wanted, but the work always drained her. Fighting hours for someone’s life, only to realise there’d been no chance of saving them was one of the many heartbreaks she’d had. 

And she didn’t know how much of that Nuala faced. She didn’t know how often she was fighting to keep someone alive. She wasn’t sure if she could handle so much again. 

Jungeun nodded. She met Jinsoul’s eyes then. There wasn’t understanding there, but something close to it. There was also something that looked a lot like guilt. Jinsoul was sure that’d been there before, but she was only seeing it now. Until now, she’d only seen that guilt and regret with a mask on top of it. She’d seen how Jungeun looked without it. 

“There’s been two others.” Yeri was back. “They’re,” she trailed off. Jinsoul saw her look between them before she continued. “One was from your people,” she smirked, “yearly checkin?” A pause. “The other’s someone I don’t know. They’re in Britain right now.”

Again, Jungeun only nodded. Jinsoul didn’t know if she knew who that meant or not. And why did Jungeun's own people feel the need to look for her? 

“That,” Yeri pointed at them,” is incredible.” She was looking at Jungeun’s arm. It was glittering. 

Jinsoul frowned. She took out more water from the bowl. It was threaded with light. 

“Do you feel any different?” Jinsoul asked. How had she not seen that before?

Jungeun also didn’t seem to have noticed. “It doesn’t hurt at all.” Her eyes were wide. “I think you combined the two.”

“I didn’t want to.” She thought of the many times she’d tried hiding it, as well as the first time she’d ever seen it. It’d scared her. She’d been ashamed too. 

Jungeun's expression sobered almost immediately. 

“So does that mean it enhances your magic?” Yeri came closer. “Maybe it works the other way round with darkness.”

“Maybe,” Jinsoul tried to sound just as engaged. She wasn’t sure if she wanted there to be an overlap. It didn’t feel right to her. And it also made her feel something else. It made her think of Nuala, someone everyone went to first, rather than the others still perfecting that part of their magic. 

“Was there anything you needed us to do?” Jungeun asked. “Or—”

“No.” Yeri gave her a pointed look. There was another message there. 

Jinsoul still didn’t understand, but she was grateful that there wouldn’t be another thing left to do. Something told her that even if hunched over, Jungeun would go after a rogue vampire. She’d probably win too. 

The thought made her pause. Had she really reached the point where she could assume things about Jungeun and be right about it? 

She thought of what she’d kept seeing in Jungeun, especially today. Jinsoul realised that she did know enough. 

But was that a good thing? 

Jinsoul kept working. Jungeun told Yeri about what happened. She said it like she was describing a simple outing that’d had a slight complication. If Jinsoul hadn’t seen it happen and hadn’t seen the way Jungeun had really felt about the encounter, she would’ve thought the fire elf was completely fine with all of it. 

“So they’ll just send her back?” Yeri asked. She was scowling. “Just like that.”

“Yeah.” Jungeun also said that with a certain lightness. 

“You know there’re ways to stop them from coming again, right?”

Her expression hardened. “Which isn’t necessary.”

“What are those ways?” Jinsoul gave her the paste to put on her chest, before she did the same on her leg. The redness from before had already faded. Had the moonlight-infused water really made that much of a difference? 

“Fairies,” Jungeun muttered. She looked disturbed, even though this conversation must have happened before. 

“Wiping their memories or taking their anger?” Jinsoul asked. Irritation flared at the thought. “Make it easier?”

“They don’t do that,” Yeri said, still sounding annoyed. 

“Because it’s not supposed to be an easy thing.” Jinsoul tried to keep her voice calm. Yeri didn’t know their kind well enough to know why this was such a problem. “These’re pieces of people’s lives. Taking that away or changing it can’t be done very time there’s some kind of mistake.”

But even then, Jinsoul wondered how far Jungeun’s resolve went there. She wondered if there could be a point where Jungeun was justified in letting the fairies help. 

And Yeri had mentioned some people trying to come after her again. 

The witch raised a brow. “And what about the mortals? They’re completely harmless for you people and you wipe their memories. What makes them different to someone who almost killed Jungeun?”

Jinsoul felt her heart drop. They did meddle with the humans. They let the fae have practically free reign with their minds and emotions. They let that happen a lot. 

Jungeun spoke then. “We’re dealing with their realities,” she said. She’d finished applying the paste. It was a pale blue. “We’ve never had to find something out so massive that our entire worlds changed. They either don’t have magic at all, or it’s unattainable, right?” Her brow furrowed as she looked at Yeri. “That’s what you meant with gods, or beliefs in how life works.”

Yeri nodded, looking a bit taken aback. 

“Some could handle it, some’d want to know what their world is really like, but we can’t let that happen.” Jungeun shrugged. “Just like you can’t tell anyone that you can cast spells and mix actual potions.”

She sniffed. “Way to reduce my craft.”

The fire elf smiled. It was a fond one. The tension in the room eased soon after. 

They stayed until Jinsoul had bound the wounds. Jungeun had wanted to leave once her leg was wrapped up, but both Jinsoul and Yerim had forced her to sit back down. Twice. 

Yeri had joked that they’d drained her stock. Jinsoul had promised to help her make the next batch, which would probably just involve a lot of gathering. 

The walk from there was slower than before. Jinsoul could feel the effects of the healing. Her foot ached. Jungeun seemed to be losing energy just as quickly. 

They were walking along the river again. Jinsoul felt revitalised just being close to it. After a silent debate of almost a minute, she stepped onto the river and starting walking on top of it. 

When she looked back, she saw Jungeun start to smile. Then she chuckled. 

“What?” 

“Some mortals believe in someone who walked on water,” Jungeun said. “If they ever saw this, they’d be amazed.”

Jinsoul shook her head. “They’d think I was a trick, maybe worse. Most react poorly to such a thing.”

“Well,” her smile was still there, “if you came to them glowing and with sparkling eyes, I think they’d call you a goddess.” 

Jinsoul looked back to the river. It’d only been something hypothetical, but the way she’d said it reminded her of earlier. Her face warmed. 

Jungeun coughed once, before wincing. “Thank you for healing me,” she said, sounding a bit more cautious. “You really, really didn’t have to, but thank you.”

Jinsoul could hear the Astra already—laughter, talk, and music were waiting in the distance. It was starting to feel familiar. 

“And,” she started. She didn’t continue. 

“And?” Jinsoul stepped off the river. She still kept a metre between them. 

“I won’t tell anyone you can combine the two—water and—you know.” She was looking at her hands. “They already know about you being a healer, but most don’t think it’s as effective as moonlight.”

Jinsoul couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “Really.”

The corner of her lip tugged up. “Yeah, but I haven’t exactly corrected them.” She looked up. That uncertainty was back. It didn’t quite fit with who Jungeun was otherwise. “I don’t know if you were, or if you even feel this way, and I know it doesn’t matter what I—”

“Jungeun,” she said, “just say it.” She still wondered where this self-doubt came from. According to so many of the Astra, Jungeun was probably the best at what she did. Jinsoul believed that now too. 

“Don’t feel like you have some duty to fulfil here. We have a lot of healers and those numbers have gotten the Astra through for a long time.” Jungeun’s voice sounded a bit stronger now. “If you don’t want to fall back into what you were doing before, there’s other things you’d be the perfect for.” She’d held her gaze until that last word. Then she was walking towards the camp, her step a bit quicker. 

Jinsoul didn’t remember actually saying anything about becoming a healer again. She also didn’t think she’d been all that critical about it. At least not aloud. 

“Why’re you telling me that?” she asked. “Couldn’t Haseul help me to combine those things too?”

“She wouldn’t tell anyone,” Jungeun said quietly. 

“I know,” Jinsoul said. “But why wouldn’t you?” 

She was looking at the river, not avoiding the question. Just thinking. 

So Jinsoul waited. Still, she had another thing to consider. Jungeun knew of her reluctance to get into the role of a healer, helping people she didn’t yet feel at home with. And now she was telling her, almost with too much understanding, that she could choose not to help. She was reminding Jinsoul that she had that option. 

“The Astra work a little differently,” Jungeun said slowly. “Some people’re gradually relegated to a duty, but most end up choosing it. The seers don’t choose, the elders don’t either, but the rest, like Sooyoung, Haseul or Heejin, they can go from guard, to fighting or even healing. Maybe some’re kept to something, and people like Haseul still have their own duties, but they have that freedom.” She was quiet for a few seconds. “I’m mainly on patrol and guard, always in combat if it comes.” She shrugged. “What I mean is you don’t have to get stuck on one thing again. Well, not stuck,” she grimaced, “but—I mean,” she sighed. Her ears were red again. 

“I know what you mean.” 

Jungeun looked relieved. 

As they walked, Jinsoul realised something else. Jungeun had had a very clearly defined role among her people. Everyone who’d heard of her had as well. She’d excelled in it too. 

Then she’d come to the Astra and stayed in that place as well, but with a few other duties. 

Somewhere along that, the guilt had probably set in. Whatever had led to the way Jungeun was now didn’t match her role before, nor really the one she had now. 

And now, she wanted to make sure Jinsoul knew she could leave her own behind. 

______

“Where’s Jungeun?” Jinsoul asked. She didn’t want to seem too attached, but unless it was because of patrol or guard, the red-eyed girl had always been there for meals. She’d even been there yesterday, bowed over her bowl of food, but there. 

Haseul looked up and smiled slightly. “Sleeping.” 

“Now? Isn’t this like the day for—I mean, it’s not that late?” She spotted Jiwoo and Chaewon sharing a look. 

“She’s getting back to normal,” Hyejoo muttered. 

“Meaning her schedule,” Chaewon added. “That’ll take about a week, I’d say.” 

Jinsoul frowned. Jungeun hadn’t been sleeping for a different reason. That was what it'd looked like. And she wasn’t a born Astra, so wasn't it natural to be awake during the day?

Haseul seemed to pick up on her confusion. “She’s been here long enough to become nocturnal,” she said. “You’ll be getting there soon enough as well.”

They weren’t talking about what had actually happened. Jinsoul had thought Jungeun wasn’t sleeping because of her dreams. Why had Jungeun’s sleep schedule been disrupted in the first place? 

“But why’s she just starting to sleep early now?” 

Silence. The others were looking at each other. Were they silently debating whether or not to tell her? 

“Is this supposed to be a secret?” Jinsoul asked. 

“No,” Haseul replied. “But it’s not exactly something you can explain out of the blue.” 

“And she wouldn’t be telling it to you like we would,” Jiwoo added. 

Jinsoul felt herself getting impatient. They were dancing around this. “Just say it.”

“She spent about two weeks getting back to being diurnal,” Haseul explained. She didn’t wait for Jinsoul to ask why. “Didn’t want you to be awake when no one else was.”

“But she never talked to me much during the day.” Only when Jinsoul hadn’t immediately left the camp. Otherwise, Jungeun had been going off to towns or other villages. Sometimes she’d even just done some hunting herself. Apparently, it was for the camps, but just this small group could eat three day’s worth of food in a single night. “I thought she was awake because of her dreams.”

“They come and go,” Haseul shrugged, “but she’d be completely sleep deprived if she followed that.” 

The words hung in the air. Jiwoo and Sooyoung had started talking about their next hunt. Chaewon and Hyejoo were teasing each other about something—it might’ve been Chaewon’s cooking? And Haseul wasn’t adding anything else. 

Jinsoul felt a weird feeling stewing in her stomach. It wasn’t guilt, but something close to it. 

Jungeun had come to the sea during the day. She’d made sure her sleep schedule was something that fit Jinsoul’s. She'd maintained that for several months. 

Then she remembered what Yeri had given Jungeun on that first visit. She remembered the vials she’d spotted in the tent. Had they been potions to keep her awake? 

There was a pit in her stomach now. She hadn’t noticed any of that before. Should she have? 

“I miss fresh fruit,” Jiwoo groaned. She tossed a wrinkled berry into and grimaced. 

“Jungeun’ll bring some when she’s back,” Hyejoo said. She was also looking at her dessert with distaste. There were a few fruits in the creamy mixture, as well as berries, but they didn’t look as fresh. Either they’d had a stockpile of fruit, or some sort of magic had been used for it.

Then Jinsoul registered what she’d actually said. “When she’s back?” 

Chaewon lightly swatted Hyejoo’s arm. 

“Another ‘secret’?” Jinsoul raised a brow. 

Sooyoung shrugged. “She didn’t tell you yet, so I guess.” 

Jiwoo shot her a look. “Or she forgot,” she said. “You can do that when you’re exhausted.”

The burgundy-eyed girl softened, looking a bit apologetic too. 

“Jungeun always leaves when this happens,” Jiwoo said, looking at Jinsoul now. “Usually just for a few months.”

It began to fall into place. The strange expressions on their faces after the attack. Then Yeri’s look of disappointment. They didn’t agree with what she did, but they’d accept it. 

“Why?” 

“It’s just how she deals with it,” Chaewon replied, a pointed look in Sooyoung’s direction. Why, Jinsoul also didn’t know. “Needs time to herself, and she needs it away from here.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?” And if she always did that, wasn’t there the risk that people just took those opportunities to get her alone? Far away from any healers as well. 

“It’s always a risk,” Haseul grimaced, “but patrols are risks too. Same for anything else she’d do away from here.” 

And if they overpower you?

Then they get what they want.

The more Jinsoul learned, the more uneasy she felt. 

“I know we didn’t say this sooner,” Jiwoo broke the silence that’d fallen, “but thank you.”

Jinsoul couldn’t even hide her surprise. “For?”

She smiled then. “Healing her properly,” she said. “Nuala’s always complaining that we don’t go to her for help soon enough.”

“And why don’t you?” 

“They’re stubborn,” Hyejoo said. 

Chaewon elbowed her. “You spent a whole night with a broken arm. Nuala nearly had to break it again to get it straight.”

Hyejoo didn’t defend herself, but she smiled sheepishly. 

“But while she’s gone,” Jiwoo leaned forward, “you can come with us. Or Haseul, or someone else.” A bit of that insecurity came up. It reminded Jinsoul of Jungeun. 

“Or you can do both,” Haseul added. “Whatever you want.” Her expression was kind, less distant than before. 

Jinsoul just nodded. “Both’ll be fine.” 

______

Jungeun slipped the bag over her shoulders. 

“You’re leaving?” It was Jinsoul. 

She nodded. “Need to see the mountains first. Then find one of the wandering bands of Astra.” And hopefully she’d manage all of that without killing someone. 

“I thought you weren’t supposed to travel on your own.” Jinsoul frowned. 

“That’s for the people vulnerable during the day or night,” Jungeun replied. 

Her brow rose. “And you’re not?” 

“Not anymore.” She walked to the exit. 

“Jungeun.” 

She turned. 

Jinsoul’s brow had arched upwards. It was different to the usual frown that was sent Jungeun’s way. “Why’re you actually going?” 

The way she said it wasn’t as pointed as the question. By the way there was still a bit of hesitation, it looked like Jungeun could’ve not answered and it’d have been fine. 

Why that made it easier to tell her, Jungeun didn’t know. 

“This’s how I clear my head,” she told her. “I’ve always done this after—well, when I need it.” She deciddd against telling her the exact reasons. 

Jinsoul just nodded. “Just,” she trailed off. 

Jungeun waited, another knot forming in . The cautiousness she’d always felt around Jinsoul had lessened, but the nerves hadn’t. She wondered if the weeks she spent away would change anything about that. She’d debated going for longer, like she always did, but she wouldn’t do that. 

“Be careful.” 

“You too.” Jungeun walked out of the tent, feeling both relieved and disappointed. 

______

Author's Note 

I don't think it's too soon to say there've been some positive developments here. It's been really fun for me to work through these two in this story, compared to what they are later. 

However, I'm planning on being a little more flexible when it comes to the 'timeline' of this story. Until now, most of what's been happening has been in a relatively short time. I don't yet know how far the time skips will go, but they'll be coming. This story is about the development of their relationship, not quite with a plot separate to that, so I hope you won't mind the jumping around. 

It's been two weeks since November began and so much has happened. I won't go into any of that, but I hope you're all doing well or will be soon. 

See you next chapter.