Warning: Trigger! Attempted suicide! Read at your own discretion!

The fire was hot and out of control. It up at the ceiling, laughing at her as it began its chase. Yerin scrambled down the halls, trying to find the exit, but each new turn only created a new addition to the maze. A high pitched scream echoed around, but she couldn’t find where it was coming from. She knew who was making it, though.

Yerin called out for her, begging her to come out so they could escape together, but she never surfaced. The flames were getting higher, consuming everything in their path. Nothing could stop the fire. Yerin threw herself at every door, willing them to open, to give her some sort of relief from the heat and chaos.

Pieces of the ceiling began to fall down all around, barely missing her as she jumped from side to side. But after dodging the first few pieces of debris, her luck was running out and an ember that had fallen from one of the beams up above struck the arm that was protecting her head, setting her sleeve on fire. Yerin screamed at the sudden pain. Every nerve was in agony and she couldn’t put it out quick enough before the damage already was done. The skin was inflamed, blistered and red beneath the chared fabric of her shirt. 

Finally, through the thick smoke that clouded her lungs and stung at her eyes, she saw the door to freedom. Running as fast as her exhausted legs could handle, she made her way to the door, slamming her full body weight into the wooden barrier. It splintered away from the frame and swung open. She landed on the ground and the air was forced from her lungs. She crawled away from the house. The fresh oxygen was welcoming to . Her lungs pushed out the polluted air, soot coming up with each cough. Continuing the crawl to safety, her eyes watering from the smoke pouring out of the doorway. She could still hear the screaming.

She called out for her. Over and over, begging for Yerin to come rescue her. But she didn’t go back in the house. All she could do was sit and stare at the once pretty blue house as it went down in flames.

Yerin woke from the dream with a jolt, covered in sweat as if the fire had been real, there in the apartment with her, teasing and mocking her memories. Cursing, she broke down into tears.

It had been years since she'd had the dreams. She’d been able to keep the memories at bay, only allowing the ones that didn’t hurt so much to come through. But she’d lost control, lost her grip on the steady wheel that was her mind. All of her days were now spent constantly worrying about the boys that she had connected with. Their anguish was connecting to her own. But that connection was bringing back demons she didn't want to confront. 

It had been over a month since Dr. Wang put her back on blood duty. It was maddening, having to try and focus on the results in front of her or even keep the right slides in order. Yerin's mind kept going back to the cells, trying to figure out what the “next phase” was, as she was still being kept in the dark with little to no details.

Marcus’ offer bounced around in her brain, but she shoved it away. It was too dangerous. And she didn’t want to give hope where there might not be any.

According to the cell phone that was charging on the nightstand, it was just a little after five in the morning. Not finding it worth it to try and go back to sleep, Yerin got out of bed to take a shower, hoping that the hot water might be of some comfort.

It was still early when she arrived at the building she now hated. The sun was just beginning to rise and the receptionist hadn’t even shown up. Yerin knew it was silly to come well before her designated time, but she could only sit on her couch alone for so long. The two guards Yerin had once caught in Yixing’s cell were making their rounds. When they saw her coming, they quickly steered to the other side of the lobby, avoiding her the best they could. At least that got a small laugh.

Before she could reach the entrance to her hallway, a voice called out, stopping her zombie-like trance. It was an orderly she’d never seen before. Or maybe she had met him since he knew her name. Panic was evident on his face. His breath was shallow and quick from running. He grabbed Yerin's wrist, pulling her away from the lab.

“Come on!” he urged. “I already sounded the alarm, but no one’s coming. Please, hurry!” He pulled her into Sehun’s cell. At the sight of the youngest subject, her blood ran cold.

In the middle of the floor laid Sehun. His left hand was covered in blood. Next to his fingers was a jagged piece of plastic.

Where did he get that?

Blood was pouring out from his right wrist. Pushing down her own feelings, Yerin immediately went into doctor mode. Throwing her things to the side, she unwrapped the thin scarf from around heur neck, pressing it to Sehun’s wrist to slow the blood flow.

“Run to the emergency room at the end of the other hallway and bring me a gurney along with a first aid kit. Grab any guards you see along the way. Go!”

The orderly nodded before running out the room. Yerin turned back to her patient. Taking the tiniest risk, she peeked at the wound. The cut was deep, nearly sawing his arm down to the bone. It was deep, apparently deep enough to slow the rapid healing process she knew he was gifted with. Biting back tears, she ripped a strip of cloth off the scarf and tide it tightly above the wound. She didn’t have much experience with trauma patients and she worried that in her panic she was getting treatments mixed up. Gently slapping the side of Sehun’s face, she tried to keep him conscious. “Sehun, can you hear me? Come on, Sehun, stay with me!” 

Please, don't let this be because of me. 

He moaned, his eyes splitting open enough to see who was hovering above him. “Yerin? You said you were coming back. Why didn’t you–”

“I couldn’t,” she interrupted him. Water pooled in her eyes as guilt ate at her. Should she have never come to them in the first place? “But I’m here now. Why couldn’t you just wait?” She sniffed back the tears, trying to remain indifferent, separated from them, but she couldn’t. Was he able to feel her trembling hands that pushed down on his arm?

The orderly returned as Sehun lost consciousness again. Behind him were several guards and a doctor from the onsite infirmary that Yerin didn’t recognize. She explained what she had already done, although it wasn’t much.

“I’ll take it from here,” he said. The guards lifted Sehun up gently, setting him down on the gurney. Yerin didn’t let go until the doctor nearly forced his hands under her own, replacing the scarf with a white towel. She followed them out of the cell and tried to go with them to the ER, but–

“Dr. Lee!”

Dr. Wang ran frantically up. “What the hell happened?”

“Seh- I mean, Ninety-Four somehow got ahold of a piece of plastic and, um-” She had to push back the tears before they spilt over. “He cut himself. Deeply. I didn’t even know that was possible.”

Dr. Wang frowned, shaking her head. “This has never happened before.” Looking down at Yerin's hands, she sighed. “Go clean yourself up. After that, there’s a file on my desk. Bring it to me. I’ll be in the infirmary, watching over Ninety-Four.”

Yerin stared after the doctor as she walked away, calm as the sea now that she knew what the chaos was about. It wasn’t hard to believe anymore that she might not have a single ounce of remorse in her towards the boys. Sehun’s cutting seemed more like an inconvenience to her than anything else.

Like a zombie, Yerin walked to the restroom. At the sink is when she finally saw the amount of blood on her hands. Scrubbing it off started out calm at first. But it seemed the harder she scrubbed, the more the blood remained, staining her skin. Her fingers were raw and throbbing, but she kept adding more soap and scrubbed at her nails with more force. With her breath quickening, the act became obsessive. The sobs could no longer be held back. The cries echoed off the walls, mocking her. Letting out a wordless yell, she splashed water all over the sink and mirror before pushing away, falling down to the floor. She crawled backwards until her back hit the wall. Yerin stared at nothing, willing herself to go numb like everyone one else. But she couldn’t. She'd seen more than the others, heard more than the others. 

“Yerin!”

Nada had walked into the bathroom to change into her scrubs when she saw Yerin on the floor. She shook her friend out of the daze, meeting her eyes.

“Yerin, what’s wrong?”

Yerin opened several times to explain, but she couldn’t speak. So, she just held up her hands. That seemed to be a starting point to let the rest out. “On-one of the subjects tried t-to hurt himself,” she explained. She knew exactly what Sehun was trying to do, but saying it out loud made it too real. “He’s in the infirmary, but I g-got his blood on me. I needed to c-clean it off.”

Nada stared down at her hands, hanging open. visibly trembled as she swallowed. “Well, you got it off, Yerin. It’s all gone.”

Yerin nodded shakily. “It’s all gone.” She stood slowly as Nada helped steady her wobbling legs. “I have to go Dr. Wang’s office. She needs a file. I have to take it to her.”

“I can get–”

“No.” She couldn't let Nada go instead. She needed to appear somewhat composed. “I can do it. I’ll see you in the lab.”

Yerin ran out of the bathroom and to the lab that held Dr. Wang’s office. The light was off, but her door was unlocked. As Dr. Wang had said, there was a single file on her desk. But Yerin couldn’t just stop there.

Something inside – something fighting for Sehun – compelled her to go further. The drawers were unlocked, so she started shuffling through different faxes and data sheets. Nothing new was jumping out at her. All this she'd seen before. When she was beginning to think that there was no bigger secret, her fingers found a thick folder place carefully in the overhead cabinet. Scanning the lines of the different papers, she was horrified of its contents.

It wasn’t DNA they were testing any longer. The ‘next phase’ that Dr. Wang spoke of was the most taboo experiment: mind control. They were trying to find ways to take away all forms of free will the boys had.

It would make them the perfect soldiers. Following every order given to them without question. Deadly, strong. A war could be won with them alone. But who was behind this? Marcus insisted it wasn’t the government and - for some stupid reason - she was inclined to believe him. If any word of this leaked to the public, there would an outcry and other countries would feel the need to get involved as well, if they felt threatened. There was too much risk. So, who exactly was willing to take it?

Yerin carefully put the file back where she found it, hoping it was in the exact postion it had been in before. After grabbing the file she was originally sent to get, she slowly made her way to the infirmary. She needed to know how he was doing.

Dr. Wang was standing on one side of a glass window, watching as the doctor’s patched up Sehun’s wrist.

“Thank you.” Dr. Wang took the file, placing it under her arm. “It’s a shame. He doesn’t heal as fast as the others. But they say he’ll be fine. You got to him in time.” She turned away from the glass. “Dr. Lee, I think it best that you take the rest of the day off.”

“I’m fine,” Yerin argued. Her hysteria had dissipated, the clouds rolling away. Things were coming into sharp view now.

“That’s an order, Dr. Lee,” she snapped. “You can come back tomorrow. And… I’ll talk to Dr. Kwon about resuming your sessions with the subjects as soon as possible.”

Yerin bit back a humorless laugh. None of this would have happened if her sessions had been allowed to continue. Sehun was already fragile, barely beginning to  open up to you. Then they took away his one outlet. Enough was enough.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Dr. Wang.”

Yerin walked away from the room, returning to Sehun’s cell to grab her purse. A different orderly was already cleaning up the blood. The plastic shard was gone and her things were sitting on the chair in front of the control panel. Smeared blood stained the bottom of her purse, sticking out strikingly against the white leather. 

Going home was the last thing she wanted to do, but what other choice was there? Focusing on work would be impossible and meeting with the other boys would be too much of a risk. They coudln't find out about this. They couldn't.

She needed to find Marcus.

He’d only just arrived in the security office when Yerin ran inside the room. As soon as he saw her, he enveloped her in a tight, warm hug.

“I heard what happened,” he whispered, not letting her go long after what should have been appropriate.

For appearance's sake, she hugged him back. But this was no time to be worrying about her own state. “I’m in.” The words were barely audible, even to her self. The way that Marcus stiffened against her, she knew that he'd heard. 

He let go, taking a step back to study her face. Seeing the resolution in Yerin's face, he cleared his throat, nodding. “Let me take you to dinner tonight. I’ll meet you at the bar around six.” His voice was loud enough for the cameras or any passerby to hear. 

Yerin smiled, playing the part of the thankful coworker. “Thank you. I’ll see you tonight.”

Walking out and to the elevator, she had a new found sense of purpose. Whatever had scared her away from helping Marcus in the past no longer applied. Screw her job, screw her squeaky clean record. She’d spend the next twenty years in prison if it meant keeping their free will. No longer would she sit back and let... this happen to them. She should have agreed in the first place. It was cowardly not to and she would regret it for the rest of her life. But now, she was determined.

They would see the sun again. They would live lives of their choosing. Even if you didn’t get to see it.