“la douleur exquise”
spring rainBefore her classes would start, Yuna made it a habit to go on a run around campus. Music blasted into her ears, her heart becoming synchronized with the sounds.
However, just simply running couldn’t stop the brewing thoughts. Yuna decided to ignore her strange dream and forget about that green bunny but was it weird to think that the bunny felt familiar? Never in her life she encountered the furry animal — not even as a plushie.
Yuna ended her run relatively quick, stopping by a nearby vending machine and tapping the water. Sweat dropped down the side of her temples as she fell onto the bench next to the machine and looked up to the scene above.
The real sky seemed inferior to her… “state of mind”. It wasn’t as blue, instead grey and had dark clouds.
Yuna shook her head. Nothing sounded right to her anymore.
Just as she was going to go back to her dorm and wash up, the device in Yuna’s hand vibrated softly. Her eyebrows furrowed, looking down at her phone before sitting back down. At first she was mildly annoyed, but that was until she saw who the messenger was.
A rush of emotions washed over Yuna, overwhelming her mind, as she swiped on the text.
“Morning eonni!”
Yuna tucked her bottom lip in, staring at the jumping dumpling emoticon. Butterflies flapped in her stomach and her blood rushed faster throughout Yuna’s veins. Before she could identify what she was feeling, a giant smile plastered across her face, reaching from ear to ear. Happiness was a blessing emotion.
One sign.
Texting a quick morning back, Yuna silently waited for a reply. Then the ding came again.
“Are you free after six? I was hoping we could eat together”
If someone was looking at Yuna (which is very likely), they’d assume that she was crazy for gawking at her phone like that. But what could she say? It’s called being excited when you get a text from someone!
Two signs.
Yuna texted a simple, “yes, let’s do it” in capital letters.
“Is it okay if I bring a few friends? I think you’ll get along with them”
The heart that was flying in the sky, dropped miserably to the depths of the earth. She stared at the text with a blank stare. It’d be a lie to say she wasn’t hoping to hang out alone with her. Though Yuna couldn’t exactly say, “I wanted it to be just us” to one of her best friends.
Three signs.
“Yeah it’s fine”
It wasn’t fine and, as dramatic as she may sound, Yuna was about to punch a . A scowl immediately replaced whatever smile she had. The reply came rather quickly but Yuna knew she’d become even more bitter after reading it. Turning her device off, Yuna sat in silence.
Oh.
That once fleeting emotion was back. Yuna swore it was gone but, in reality, it never left. A flame burned strong in her heart; fueling her desire and greed. No. She wasn’t greedy — asking and taking things for her own was out of character. It reminded her of an itch that she couldn’t get.
Entering that dark hole was such a mistake. Maybe it’d be better off if Yuna stopped talking to her. It’ll cause pain and yearning but it’s better than feeling that stupid cursed word. Yet no matter how hard she tried to do that in the past, the feelings always came running back.
Just as she came running back to her.
and a new question was asked.
“Is fate real?”
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