the rest of That Day flew by with tears and apologises filling the gaps of what was once a seemingly perfect relationship.

between the two, the incident was never spoken of again. the younger kept going for her classes, returning home to yongsun who would usually be preparing dinner. yongsun would spend the day writing - for what else does a writer do - and clean up the house whenever she got bored. eventually, they fell back into the routine they had prior.

moonbyul told no one of what had happened, and neither did yongsun, at least, of what she knew, and that was the way they kept it. it was almost as though if the two tried hard enough to pretend nothing happened, then maybe everything would just fall right back into place, back to what everyone was familiar with.

that was what moonbyul thought, at least, pretending that her mind would not randomly fly back to the memories of that day, pretending that her mind did not conjure up images of the woman she loved with someone that was anyone but her behind her closed eyelids.

she acted like her nights were not plagued with nightmares of the woman she loved with a faceless stranger in the midst of intimate acts. she would jolt awake in the middle of the night, hands clutched to her chest. she would be short of breath, panting slightly with tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.

moonbyul felt a sense of emptiness, coupled with a strange fear. she felt like what they were doing was only going to be a temporary measure, taping up the broken shards of a ceramic mug with weak tape.  

these thoughts, the dreams, images, all angered her. she did not like that at all. she did not like the feeling of not trusting in yongsun’s feelings towards her. she was frustrated with herself. the girl found herself touching the couple necklace she shared with the older girl that she wore daily. she constantly looked around the house to see traces of the other girl’s love for her, desperately reaching for any kind of reassurance she could get. the pictures in their frames on the shelves, the clothing they ended up sharing, even the cards moonbyul still keeps from their honeymoon phase, which yongsun wrote and gave after every single date, for a whole 5 months. anything.

despite the ‘normalcy’ the couple had settled into, their relationship was somehow filled with tension in the gaps of silences that would overcome them, as though a colourless and odourless gas that was denser than the normal air had seeped into the apartment. what was once a cheery and light apartment filled with the sounds of laughter was now thick and heavy.

//

the elephant in the room was getting increasingly hard to ignore now, 2 weeks after That Day. moonbyul was finding herself suffocating amongst the uncertainty of where the couple was heading. she knew something had to be done, but she wasn’t sure where to start.

it was in the tiny things that moonbyul saw change. the way yongsun’s eyes would get shifty every time the younger entered a room, the dwindling of good morning texts and goodnight kisses, and the hesitance before the initiation of every touch.

moonbyul did not like this change, but she thinks that she would rather this than nothing at all.

//

another 2 more weeks marks one month since That Day. the couple was sitting in the living room, the older girl lying with her head in the lap of moonbyul. the two were silently watching whatever that was playing on tv, 2 bottles of soju sitting empty on the coffee table in front of them. moonbyul knew the other girl was very tipsy, but she herself was almost drunk too, having drank over two bottles worth of the alcohol. yongsun had barely taken 5 shots, but her intolerance shining through, them drinking on an empty stomach not helping either of them too.

yongsun had suggested for the younger to get alcohol on the way back home from her classes, for the both of them to unwind after a particularly taxing week, filled with tests and project deadlines. what she did not expect was for the girl to already have been drinking when she texted, half a bottle in at the convenience store a block away from the shared apartment.

the younger girl had stumbled back after finishing that bottle, not bothering to reply the older girl’s message, with 2 more bottles of the bitter substance in a plastic bag she was dangerously swinging around.

she fell into her girlfriend’s arms the moment the door opened, having been too lazy to find the keys that were somewhere inside the dark hole of her bag, resulting in her repeatedly abusing their doorbell. “babyyyyyy, i’m not sober, heh,” she said, a lazy smile drawing across her face as she was helped into the apartment to the couch, where she plopped down with a huff.

“i can tell. what a sight you must’ve been, probably tripping over your feet on your way home, drunk at 4 in the afternoon huh?”

“nooooo? what do you mean? this is normmaalll. anywaysss let’s drink more!” moonbyul drew out the last syllable of her words, before her voice rose at the end in excitement, and she propped herself up, her eyes lighting up when yongsun took the bag from her, and took out the green bottles to put them on the table.

“don’t want a bite first? did you eat before you started drinking byul?

to which she shook her head, popping the p at the end of the “nope” she let out, adding on a “don’t need,” with a childlike pout and a fervent shake of the head.

“okok you big baby, wait here, i’ll get the shot glasses. be a dear and turn on the tv okay? the remote is beside you. i’ll be right back,” yongsun said, standing up and walking away, her voice getting softer as she disappeared into the kitchen, not seeing moonbyul’s nod.

1 hour flew by and shot by shot, the both of them finished the bitter liquid, the afterburn lingering in their throats. moonbyul could feel the older girl’s steady breathing, and how she would hum in response to the characters in the movie that was playing. she herself was absent-mindedly playing with yongsun’s hair, not really focusing on the movie, her mind blank.

eventually the ending credits started rolling, and she felt the older girl shift in her lap, turning so she was facing her girlfriend.

moonbyul had always liked yongsun’s lips, them being the first feature she actually noticed about the older girl the first time she laid eyes on her.

she had seen her future girlfriend - at the time - talking and laughing, walking by moonbyul with her group of friends, in her first year of university. thus, it was not surprising that her eyes tend to focus in on them, although she did get laughed at and teased by the older girl because of it.

it was no different this time, moonbyul’s eyes going straight to yongsun’s lips, and yongsun sensed it too. the air around them grew thick and tense, moonbyul feeling yongsun’s eyes trail down to her lips too.

yongsun got up, her eyes not leaving moonbyul’s lips, leaning in to place a quick kiss on moonbyul’s lips. she pulled away. call it the alcohol talking but moonbyul reached out and gently held yongsun’s chin between her index finger and thumb, pulling the older girl closer and connecting their lips again, moving past the chaste kisses and short hugs that plagued their relationship over the last month.

it was familiarity and comfort that struck moonbyul first, as yongsun habitually bit softly on moonbyul’s lips, tugging on it gently before she would release it, it and it afterwards. just like the old times, the times moonbyul missed.

that was when moonbyul’s hazy mind jumped back to That Day, the image of yongsun in bed with the stranger, hands wandering, lips connected, almost just as the couple was now, and moonbyul pushed yongsun away. the kiss had gotten heated, leaving the two of them panting slightly, as yongsun looked at her in confusion.

“byul? what’s wrong? did i do something?”

“… do you not feel it? or are you choosing to ignore it?” moonbyul asked, gulping as she waited in anticipation for the older girl’s answer.

“feel what? the ? well… obviously, i’m not ignoring it, am i?” yongsun replied, a cheeky smile appearing on her face, but dropping when she saw moonbyul’s expression hardening.

“we’ve put off this conversation for a whole month, this would come eventually you know,” moonbyul said, her voice deep and tone serious. she was not fully sober, but something told her she needed the alcohol to muster up the courage for this conversation neither of them were ready for.  

//

moonbyul had tears streaming down her cheeks, her vision blurry as she left the apartment, a duffel bag in her hands. whimpers escaped her lips every now and then as she went down in the elevator.

she remembered how yongsun was sobbing on the foor, choking over her cries, begging the younger girl to not leave. she remembered the overwhelming urge to drop her bag and hold the girl in her arms, apologising for the hurt she had just caused, and wipe her tears away. she remembered the way the girl held onto her ankle, grip weak from how hard she was crying, trying to not let the girl slip away from her grasp.

when she reached the ground level, she stood by the entrance of the apartment complex, looking out to the rain falling as constantly as the tears that were flowing. she knew that the moment she stepped out of this apartment complex, her life could never go back to the way it was.

she hiccupped occasionally as she in a breath, before she stepped out, bracing the rain, and walked forward. her tears mixed with the rain droplets, each deliberate step putting more distance between herself and the life she knew and loved.

//

the university student would spend the next few weeks couch-surfing, job-hunting, and drinking. she barely turned up for classes, spending most of her time at convenience stores, green bottles and bowls of ramyun being her staple meals for the coming days, as she scrolled through job offerings on her phone.

she had spent majority of this time at the house of her friends’, wheein and hyejin, who were also friends with yongsun. they had heard of the couple’s breakup, and instantly opened up their place to the older girl, knowing that she had nowhere else to go in seoul, her parents staying in bucheon.

this was a few days after the breakup, stumbling upon the distraught girl on campus, walking by without noticing the couple despite the numerous attempts at trying to catch her attraction. they had instantly sensed that something was off – even finals week never seemed to stress out the girl too, too much, not to this extent – so what could have possibly happened?

the news came as a huge shock to the younger girls, no one really expected the dream couple to break up, but moonbyul explained that she was hesitant to approach anyone about the troubles they were facing pre-breakup, that she did not want the girls to view yongsun differently. she wanted to keep it under wraps because she had hoped that things would go back to normal, and she did not want to tell them after, because… what if they wanted to try again? where would that leave them? what would others say about them, about her, about yongsun?

to moonbyul, it was just easier to keep shut.

the young couple understood where moonbyul was coming from for sure, but that did not stop them from chastising her like a small girl, before they brought her back to the apartment and fussed over her, making sure to cook her a nice warm meal, something she haven’t had in a good couple days.

still, she spent most of her time after temporarily moving in with the 2 girls outside of the apartment. she was trying to find a job while drinking cheap alcohol and unhealthy meals, trying to make herself as absent from the apartment as possible. she felt increasingly guilty, and although she knew that neither wheein nor hyejin were uncomfortable with her there, she felt like she was overstaying her welcome.

it also did not help that when the 2 girls found out about the breakup, and after helping moonbyul settle in, hyejin had gone over to moonbyul’s previous home – moonbyul overheard the couple’s whispers from the kitchen – and she felt like she was making them choose sides, when she was not trying to at all. of course the girls would be worried about yongsun, after all, she was always known to be the more emotional one in the relationship.

it was not like the older girl did not have any savings, she just wanted enough to not have to live paycheck by paycheck, wanting to have at least some money to keep in case of rainy days.

luckily for the girl, she had found a job at an amusement park slightly out of the city, as a park attendant, that paid a fair amount on a weekly basis. it was perfect, not too taxing, except that travelling took too much of her time.

the 2 young girls had protested when she broke the news about the job, insisting that she was welcomed in the apartment for as long as she needed, and that they would rather have her focus on school and getting herself back together first before even considering about moving out. she had reassured them that she was fine, and if anything, the job would provide her a good outlet and distraction from what had happened. adding on with a wink and a cheeky grin, she revealed that she knew the two would rather have their own private time instead, causing them to let out an ugly screech at the older girl scampering into the kitchen with a laugh.

//

it was moonbyul’s first day at the amusement park, and 2 hours prior, her phone had been rudely buzzing beside her face in its attempt to draw her out of her slumber. she had stumbled through the still dark apartment, attempting to be as silent as possible to avoid waking the other girls up.  it was truly an ungodly hour for college kids to wake up, stranger than to be have been awake, for all-nighters were a common thing for them.

yawning again for the nth time that morning, moonbyul drowsily made her way to the bus stop after leaving the apartment, the world still covered in a slight fog, the late September air turning slightly colder as autumn drew near. it was barely 6am, the sky, like moonbyul, was still trying its best to wake up and start the day fresh.

she dozed off more several times in the bus, almost missing her stop, when her head jolted up, body rising before her brain could even comprehend the situation. her hand reached out to ring the bell to alert the bus driver that she wanted to get off, right as the bus was about to pull away from the curb.

she leapt off the bus, shouting a quick “sorry!” behind her, as the bus drove off, before she took off in the direction of the amusement park entrance.

//

amusement parks were something else completely empty, early in the day, moonbyul realised as she was led by her supervisor through the numerous attractions and rides. she imagined how in a couple of hours there would be tens of hundreds of kids, and even more adults running around the same paths she was now walking on, hearts full of anticipation and excitement, laughter and cheer filling the air. it was a stark contrast to the empty venue she was in now, barely anyone wandering around, only a handful of park cleaners and food vendors beginning to prepare for business.

her supervisor was a kind, slightly older woman, by the name of chorong, looking roughly to be around yongsun’s age, and moonbyul’s mind instantly thought of how much yongsun would like this woman, probably saying that she ‘enjoyed the energy radiating off chorong’ and probably how they could definitely ‘vibe together’.

the girl’s mood had died a little when her mind started straying to her ex-girlfriend, and she was trying to distract herself but somehow missed the bunny mascot that was making their way in the 2 girls’ direction, even though chorong had been trying to call out her name for awhile now.

the two bumped into each other, the force of the interaction causing moonbyul to take a few steps back, while the weight of the bunny’s head seemed to throw the mascot off-balance, making her fall over and the bunny head falling off, rolling a little to the side.

“oh my gosh, i’m so sorry!” moonbyul gasped, racing forward to grab the bunny’s head, before she turned to the mascot herself, where chorong was helping the said girl up.

“irene! i told you to be careful when you wear your mascot, are you okay?” she asked, when mascot, or irene in this case, turned back to moonbyul.

“yeah, i’m sorry chorong… i’m clumsy-“

the words irene were saying in her soft, mellow voice faded to become background noise as moonbyul froze in her spot, completely in shock by the beauty of the girl in front of her.

a/n: soooo update! hehe... sorry about all the angst, i promise it gets better from here on out! i think my three-shot will become a four-shot because chapter 3 really became toooooo long (it's really me being vERY self-indulgent tbh) i hope you enjoyed this chapter, and i will see you in the next!