The next part of my life I named "the-period-of-ing-up". My parents, after long difficulties and hours of working for their business (I even sometimes forgot what they looked like) finally achieved success. Their company entered the international market. They are millionaires. And it scared me. They wanted me to work for them, but I literally ran away from home, temporarily settling with Jeno, who also shared the rent with Jaemin.

I found a job in a large international company that offered me good conditions. However, I had to work for my fullest. I worked non-stop, staying at work until twelve at night, and now I completely understand Taeil's feelings.

But I was lucky enough to get into a small and friendly team. Our boss, who asked to simply call him Renjun, was an incredibly kind man. He never took advantage of his position, on the contrary, he always encouraged us and stayed until late at night himself.

But my colleagues... Haechan was the youngest among us, but the loudest and most audacious. He brought a lot of loud laughter to our team, even the way he introduced himself to me for the first time makes me smile.

“Hi, you can just call me the Sun,” the guy in the fashionable glasses said, smiling.

I liked him right away, but we didn’t manage to become friends.

Other colleagues were also nice and pleasant, and after some chat with them, I felt an intense gaze on me. Looking up, I met eyes with a tall, handsome guy who instilled an aura of strength and self-confidence.

"You're Park Jisoo, aren't you?" his voice was low and husky, and a serious look even somehow frightened me.

"Yes, it's me, and who are you?" a little embarrassed, I examined him from head to toe. He obviously invested a lot of money in the suit.

“Seo Youngho,” he replied, still serious, and I frankly began to feel uneasy under such intent gaze. “But for friends... you can call me Johnny, little Ji."

My eyes widened in shock, and Johnny could no longer contain himself and began to laugh openly in my face. I wanted to punch him, just like in the childhood.

We haven't seen Johnny since the moment when all four of us left in different directions: Yuta to Japan, Jeno just disappeared, and Johnny to the United States.

Now, seeing him in front of me, I would never recognize him. Johnny was always the oldest in our gang, defended us with always repeating "only I can tease them." He constantly lectured and teased us, but in more brotherly and loving way, but we still fought a lot.

A couple of days later I brought him to Yuta with Jeno. At last. Finally we were all together again. Yuta joked endlessly, and Johnny in response, and Jeno was silent, sometimes laughing, but inserting his own jokes at the right time.

The work went on as usual, Renjun was the best boss in the world, he helped us, gave us needed rest, rewarded generously, which made us want to work harder. He even ate with me during our lunch break, talking about the latest news and plans to expand our department. He really devoted himself to this business with his fullest. 

It turned out that Johnny had been working in this company for three years, in the marketing department, and had such a big success that he became the boss of his own department, earning ten times more than me. Johnny hasn't changed, still making me admire him.

A couple of weeks later, John shared the news with me before anyone else that the Chinese branch of the company was transferring new employees to our office. I was curious if there would be someone new in our department. And at that moment he entered our department office. I will never forget how a cup of hot coffee almost fell out of my hands, as soon as I saw him.

“Hello everyone, I'm Wong Yukhei.” His deep voice made current running through my veins, igniting them, his cocky gaze that shook my knees. He was so tall and indescribably handsome. "From this day on, I will work with you."

At that moment our gazes crossed, he grinned, and I realized that I was falling.

From the very first day, he was surrounded by immense attention, both women and men. Still the people admire beautiful people. I didn’t dare to approach him, but from time to time we met eyes, which made me feel hot somewhere down. Wait, how long has it been since the times when I had a boyfriend?

Calmly eating salad in the cafeteria (I tried to keep my diet), I felt someone sit down with me. I looked up, expecting to see Renjun, but almost choked on a piece of tomato when Yukhei appeared in front of me.

"What's your name?" and he grinned again with his signature smile, and I flinched. For some reason I think he is incredibly good in bed.

"I'm Jisoo, and you are Yukhei, is it?" I smiled back, lightly the fork that I was holding. He didn't take his eyes off the fork.

“You can call me Lucas... baby,” he said defiantly, looking up and facing me. His 'baby' towards me made my blood boil. I couldn't understand why but I just wanted him, or maybe I started to fall in love.

He began to have lunch with me every day, sometimes even with Renjun, and at the same time constantly hinted at something ambiguously, and he wasn't even embarrassed by the presence of the boss. But his vulgar flirting didn't frighten or irritate me, but rather fueled my interest. I wonder how many times I had obscene dreams with his presence at that time? Probably not even countable.

One day, when I stayed until the late night, working on the report, only he remained with me in the office. Even the boss decided to leave early, advising us too, but I couldn't leave work half way. And Lucas ... apparently stayed to keep me company.

For some time I didn't even notice him, until at some point I felt hot breath on my neck. I immediately got goosebumps, and my legs automatically gathered up. I turned and bumped nose to nose with him. He looked with slightly closed y eyes straight into my soul, as if he knew what I wanted secretly and for a long time.

"Baby.. I've noticed how you look at me all this time," he whispered, heating me up with every word. He smelled of expensive cologne and even more expensive cigarettes.. I was starting to feel dizzy from his proximity. "Do you want me?"

I was confused, unable to concentrate my thoughts. He is so handsome. My lips trembled, I thought to answer at least something, as he grunted and leaned to me.

He kissed passionately, even to some extent aggressively, biting my lips and getting out my muffled moans. His hands had already seated me on the table, and wandered over my body. Every touch was hot. He was as good at it as I expected.

I remembered this night for a long time, and I could no longer stop thinking about him. Is it possible to fall in love because of ? I think yes.

After that night, Lucas no longer approached me, which upset me insanely. He just wanted to me and that's it? He was still surrounded by female attention, and he still didn't look at me. And I decided to forget.

Until it happened again. However this time he took me to his place, where we spent the next night. He was experienced and tried much more than one woman, it was obvious and this made him really good at it.

It happened so many times that I lost count. Lucas didn't care where and when, if he wanted, he took me. And I didn't resist, because I fell in love more and more.

"What's going on between us?" I once asked, because I was already fed up with all this.

"What do you want to be, baby?" he asked, pressing me closer to his strong chest. Every time he addressed me like that, I forgot what I wanted to say at all.

"I want to be your girlfriend. So that you are only mine," I whispered, burying my face in his neck and drowning in this scent of his body, to which I am so used to.

"Okay, then we're dating."

As simple as that. No questions asked. He often made decisions like this, recklessly, hastily, sometimes even regretted them, but he never lost his calmness and was immensely confident in himself. I adored that in him.

So that's how we dated for an year. Sometimes it seemed to me that we weren't even dating, though I lived with him. He slept with me, I cooked for him, sometimes we watched some movies together, and these moments were my favorite. I was ready to get lost and frozen in space and time just to be in these moments forever. But there was something that always made me suspicious of him.

He used to disappear for all night long and coming home completely drunk, smelling of undistinguishable something ... or someone. I tried to talk with him about that, to see the truth, but as soon as he smiled calmly, pulled me to his chest, kissed my forehead and lovingly whispered "what are you, talking about, baby, I love only you", I forgot about everything in the world.

After some time, Lucas was transferred to another department, which was good, because I couldn't work normally when someone I love is just next to me, but my brain intoxicated with love was absolutely against it, though I couldn't do anything about it.

Once again, I stayed late at night in the office and decided to meet with Lucas at home, thinking what to cook, when I heard muffled sounds at the end of the corridor. I swear I would have walked by and ignore it, if I hadn't heard the notorious "...baby."

I got shocked. I stopped and as if on an automaton, like a wooden soldier, I went towards the slightly open door. Opening it wider, I saw slender female legs and a large male figure right between them. For a couple of seconds I just stood, looked, digested what I saw. I recognized the back. I recognized him immediately... but it was dark, I refused to believe, it wasn't him.

"Lucas~" a woman's moan brought me out of my stupor. It's him.

Tears unconsciously flowed from my eyes. It's him. I walked away from the door with stiff legs and again, as if automatically, walked towards the elevator.

Already at home, at his home, I sat down on the bed, on his bed, and cried. Cried bitterly, filling every bit of this pain. But I still... love him.

In tears, I gathered my things, everything I could remember, and left. I just left his house, I just left him. To Jaehyun's place. I don't know why. I hoped he would understand.

And he understood and allowed me to stay at his house. He didn’t even ask anything, letting me calm down. The next day I saw Lucas.

"Where did you go out so late at night, baby?" I shuddered at this word. I felt sharp pain in heart again.

I walked past, not allowing myself to look at him. All week he tried to talk to me, followed me, tried to catch me, but I still ignored him. I couldn't look at him.

One day, he finally managed to catch me, dragging me into a small and empty conference room. I didn't look at him until he grabbed my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes.

This was the first time I saw him so angry.

"Now you tell me what happened."

"Let me go," I looked away completely emotionlessly.

"You won't go anywhere, until you answer me. What happened to you? Where do you sleep at nights?"

"Look, Lucas, since when do you care about me?" he was taken aback, replacing anger with confusion.

“For a long time, since I started loving you,” and he tried to pull me close to him, but I pushed him away.

"Don't touch me!" I moved away from him at the safe distance, looking at his bewildered handsome face now with disgust. "Go to that girl, who you so passionately hugged in the office. Or to any other one, with who you cheated on me!"

His face changed. He understood. He realized that I knew.

"Baby…"

"Don't call me that!" fists clenched so much that I felt like digging my nails into my skin. “This is the end, Lucas. I'll come to get my stuff tomorrow. Don't come near me anymore."

And I quickly left the room with my head held high, no longer looking at him, and my quick pace gradually turned into a run, and my makeup into a mess because of tears.

He obeyed me and never came up to me again, I never saw him again. In front of Johnny and the others I pretended that everything was all right. Only Jae and Yuta knew. They knew me too well.

That night I cried all over to Jaehyun, telling everything from start to the end. He listened to me patiently, my hair, and if necessary, he hugged me so that I could cry into his already soaked with tears shirt.

“Listen, Jisoo,” Jaehyun said quietly as I began to calm down. I looked up at him inquiringly. He looked at me affectionately and my head. "Do you want to marry me?"

"Marry?" I was confused, and he smiled kindly at me.

"Yes, us to get married."

"Jaehyun, that's not funny. '' I playfully slapped his arm, looking up angrily.

"I'm not kidding," he suddenly became serious, and I was wildly embarrassed, not knowing what to answer. "Just think about it. Now go to sleep."

I was unable to sleep at night. I can't stay with Jaehyun. He is like a handsome older brother to me. I can't, he's just not the one for me, I don't want to lie to him.

The next day, Jaehyun and I went to Lucas's house. He opened the door as Jae immediately knocked him down on the floor. I wanted to stop Jaehyun, but he wasn't going to continue. He gave Lucas a dismissive look and walked inside, beckoning me. Lucas didn't fight back either. He knew, he deserved it.

I packed my things. Jae helped me to take them out, as Lucas pulled me away, he didn't look the same as usual. His cocky smile had disappeared, dark circles laid under his beautiful eyes, and his gaze, once mischievous, was just tired.

"Bab... Jisoo," he stopped in time, still not letting go of my hand. I wanted to remove it, but he looked at me too pitifully. "I really love you."

"That's all you wanted to say?" his words made my heart beat faster. I was ready to burst into tears right here, but I won't stay with him, no matter what he says.

"I... come back to me," he said more quietly, almost pleading. In response, I just scoffed, looking away. "You don't believe in my sincerity? Jisoo, I want to marry you."

"What?" I couldn't say anything to that. Something broke inside me. “No, it's over, Lucas. I don't love you anymore."

I pulled my hand out of his grip and walked towards the exit, where Jae was already waiting for me. Lucas followed me, but didn't stop. We went out the door, but before the door closed, my heart broke again, because I heard that:

“You're lying,” he whispered, slamming the door.

A month have passed, I worked hard, earning myself a solid bonus and going (like in the good old days) to travel with Jaemin, maybe even bringing Jeno with us.

I moved away from Jae a long time ago, after that night of talking about marriage, I felt awkward with him. But he pretended like nothing had happened. I kept saving money for my vacation. There was still a hole in my heart.

My apartment was directly opposite the one where only Jaemin lived now, because Jeno had already found himself a wonderful girl with whom he lived together. Jaemin preferred to be alone.

And Yuta... one night I was woken up by a phone call. Persistent one. I answered angrily, but when I heard Yuta's drunken voice... I immediately ran to him.

He sat in a cheap road cafe, pouring another bottle of soju into himself. He has broken up with his girlfriend. The same cutie that he dated for such a long time. Why? Her parents were against it. They didn't want their daughter to marry a Japanese man. Outrageous.

"Is it normal that I regret being Japanese?" Yuta chuckled softly, his head had been lying on the table for a while already. I lightly hit him, convincing him that it was a nonsense. "You know what?"

I looked at him questioningly. He straightened up sharply, looking straight at me.

"Let's get married."

"What?!" I choked on my own saliva, looking at him like he was crazy.

"Why not? You are a loser, so am I. Our love life is a complete mess, but if you and I get married, oh, how great everything will end up! We'll be like married best friends, understand each other well, and stuff like that."

"And what about love?"

"Well, I love you! You are like a little sister to me, I love you a lot," I laughed, and Yuta continued about this brilliant wedding idea.

"You know what?" I grabbed his hands, which he was waving around so enthusiastically. "Let's do it like in the TV dramas. If we don’t get married before thirty, then we’ll just marry each other."

"Oh, that's a great idea," his eyes also lit up with mischief and enthusiasm. We sat together for a while, laughed heartily, and I helped him to get back home.

After two months, I finally managed to save enough money for my coveted trip. I pulled Jaemin with me, who was always ready for adventure, and unexpectedly Johnny, who wanted to visit Tokyo for a long time already.

Once at the airport, I realized that Johnny had pulled up another friend with him whom I instantly recognized.

"Kim Doyoung?"

"Park Jisoo?"

Our exclamations were simultaneous and equally startled. Not seeing Kim Doyoung for so many years and meeting him just like that? It turned out that he and Johnny were friends from the university. And Doyoung still remembered me.

I told him what I wanted to say for such a long time. Sorry. Forgive me for not responding to your feelings then, for not talking to you, for acting not as a friend, but even worse than an enemy. And in response he ... he just laughed.

"What are you sorry for? I was a friend as well, I stunned you with my confession, and I left you alone after a week, without even explaining myself. By the way, where is your boyfriend, I think his name was Mark?"

We all laughed at this for a long time, we had to explain a lot. As well as him. It turned out that his father had been planning to move for a long time, already transferring him to another school, and he confessed to me, because he thought he wouldn't see me again. And after that he was just afraid to approach me.

"I was a terrible coward at that time, I'm sorry, Jisoo."

I was amazed. Anyone could call himself a coward, but definitely not Doyoung. He was weak and afraid, but even in this situation he defended me. I should've agreed to date him at that time.

We all had a great time on this vacation, took a lot of photos and made as much memories, and promised to go somewhere together again. Jaemin suggested Germany. My broken and shattered heart gradually healed.

When I returned, I continued to work. One day I heard that Wong Yukhei had been promoted and transferred to a new branch in Los Angeles. I... was happy for him.

The next destination of our vacation was Berlin. Jaemin nevertheless persuaded us, even though it was expensive. Childhood memories of that strange guy were all over this place. Even though he seemed annoying at that time, now I think that he actually was pretty sweet.

Jaemin and I were able to drag Jeno and his already fiancée (we were shocked) with us on this journey, Yuta joined, when he finally got rid of his protracted drunkenness and depression, and of course Johnny, who now constantly traveled with us.

During the tour, slightly falling behind our group, I slowly walked through the Art Gallery, trying to see as many paintings as possible. I stopped next to one of the paintings that interested me and felt like someone stopped next to me as well.

“I’ve been expecting you to call me all these years,” this extremely familiar voice. But this time it made me smile. I didn't even have to turn around to figure out who he was.

"I crumpled the paper with your number on the day you gave it to me and threw it away. I told you, I had a boyfriend," the guy standing next to him smiled.

"You don't have one now, is it?"

“Not yet,” and we both smiled like idiots, having talked like that for a while.

Hendery hasn't changed. Just as handsome, just as weird, but this time not annoying, rather cute. In his strange manner, he announced that it was fate and offered to marry him, which caused only a slight laughter from me.

It turned out he was a famous artist and this exhibition was for his paintings. One of which he showed me, saying that I inspired him. And I chuckled, because on these scribbles I saw only a weird shaped human.

He was a very eccentric person, and I spent the whole evening with him while he explained the meaning of each painting and asked for my opinion. At the end of the day, he gave me his number again, but this time I folded it neatly and stuffed it into my purse.

At these moments I was happy. Even when I worked to the point of exhaustion in order to earn my own vacation and sometimes honestly hated my job.. I still was happy. But happiness is fleeting.

"Jisoo, that's Zhong Chenle, he is a very nice young man. I hope you will get along," on this day, when my parents for the first time invited me to their place for dinner, I realized that my quiet life is over.

"Mom, are you trying to arrange marriage between us?" after dinner I could not remain silent. I recognized Chenle. I knew who he was. Since our school days, he has changed, he seemed like a different person, but it didn't matter. I won't be forced to do this.

“Jisoo, do you understand how much your father and I invested to our business? Do you understand that we did all this for you, for your good life, so help your parents in return. His family is influential in China…" I no longer listened. There was just a deafening buzz in my head.

Our parents made us go for walks together, go to some events together. Everything together. At least I still lived alone. But that's for now.

Chenle wasn't a bad guy. To be honest, I was still hurt at the memory of Taeyong and his gang, but I knew they had all changed. Chenle became calmer, I would even say really modest. He never raised his voice, treated me with respect, and when we were alone, he uttered unexpected words.

"Sorry. For everything that happened in high school. I was a jerk, I just followed Taeyong's lead, didn't even try to stop him... I... I know this is all unexpected, I didn't know either about marriage, but.. if that's necessary, then I promise I will never hurt you or offend you, perhaps I'll even grow to love you. If you can accept my apology.” He often paused, as if he was considering his every word, it was clear from his expression that he was sincere. I even started to like this Chenle, but I can't do that. I can't be forced to do it, as well as I don't want him to be forced into this mess of a marriage.