Time spent with Jae was amazing, but ... school was over. I had to go to the university. And his parents sent him back to the US to study. And I was left behind, alone. We tried to maintain our relationship at a distance, I sincerely believed that we would succeed. But it didn't work out. We broke up exactly three months after his departure. And I still loved him.

I was stressed and in eternal tears from my failed relationship. I moved into the university dorm, I didn't really make friends with the girls, and my three best friends were so far away from me.

Jae ... I couldn't talk to him, and he's so far away. Mark also transferred to Canada, entered the university there. The only one who remained close was Yuta, but ... we can no longer be as carefree as we were at school, the university draws out all our strength, and he has new friends now. But Yuta saw me often anyway, and I felt a little better.

After a couple of months, I recovered from my relationship with Jae. I again began to look at people differently, healed again. And on the same day I literally ran into some guy.

He was handsome and tall, and he was definitely stronger than me, because only I fell after our collision. And he, like a gentleman,gave me his hand, helping me to get up, while smiling charmingly. I got flashbacks about Jae before my eyes.. He looks so much like him …

"...okay?" I brushed away my memories and raised my already conscious gaze at him.

"What?" I exhaled, at what he laughed slightly, still holding my hand.

"I said, are you okay? I didn't notice you, I'm sorry that I knocked you down."

"Um, yeah, it's nothing…" I laughed awkwardly, removing my hand from his grasp. "I should be sorry, I didn’t notice you either."

"What is your name, absent-minded girl?" kindly teasing me, said this cute guy, now evoking pleasant memories of Yuta.

"Park Jisoo, what about you, cute boy?" I answered trying to joke, as the guy fell silent in response, and his friendly face turned into surprised expression.

"Park Jisoo?" I gave him same surprised look.

"Do I know you?"

"You don't remember me? That's why I thought you look familiar. Remember me, little Ji? I'm Lee Jeno."

"Jeno?! Four-eyes? Is it really you?"

Jeno was a childhood friend of mine, one of my childhood gang that I loved so much. Yuta, nicknamed the cute girl, Johnny, nicknamed the sloth, and here is Jeno, whom I called the four-eyes, getting into fights for that every time.

But this new Jeno no longer had glasses, he wore lenses, revealing his charismatic gaze. This Jeno was already much taller than me, and his fists were already much larger than mine.

He also lost contact with Yuta and with me, as it happens with children because of a childhood quarrel, he stopped communicating with us. And now, ten years later, we chatted non-stop, restoring what we had missed in so many years.

The three of us all met again, laughed and walked until late at night, remembering our childhood and creating new memories. If only Johnny would come here, to our childhood gang, and everything would be as it should.

At the university, I healed again, hanged around constantly with Jeno, and sometimes Yuta joined us, I talked with Mark via the social media, but still couldn't talk to Jae.

Life went on, I studied well, mainly thanks to Jeno, who often pushed me to work. I even decided to join the debaters club to overcome my stage fright.

The leader of this club was the charismatic, cheerful and unbelievably sweet Moon Taeil. He was our main mentor and inspiration that really lived for his ideas. He was an excellent debater, he could defend his point of view in any case, and people always liked him and were attracted to him. And he attracted me too.

I was fired up by this club from the very beginning, and I even started to like this guy, but I was afraid to fall in love again and relive what I have experienced, so I thought to just become friends.

I began to leave the club later than everyone else, for a long time I myself debated with Taeil about various topics, trying to find arguments against him, but still lost every time. But what I liked even more about him was that he didn't indulge in victory and didn't humiliate anyone for losing, but on the contrary encouraged attempts and emphasized some mistakes, after laughing and treating us to dinner.

I didn't forget about friends, trying not to drown in relationships or my slowly growing love again. Jeno was my dorm roommate, so we often walked home together chatting cheerfully, sometimes annoying Yuta at his university.

And Taeil ... he was older than me, almost finished university, so it's not surprising that he found out about my feelings. And he began to show his.

At first, he often stayed alone with me, sorting out different sides of issues, tactics of the debate and other details, and soon thanks to this I became the vice president of this club. Which means I was staying alone with Taeil even more. My stage fright has completely disappeared.

And one day, when I once again stayed with Taeil, I leaned closer to him, because the book that we were reading was closer to him, when I felt his cool fingers touching my cheek. I turned to him, surprised, and he was very close to me, just like Mark once when he tried to kiss me.

"Jisoo ..." he whispered my name, slowly approaching and closing his eyes, his fingers gently my reddening cheek, and ... he kissed me.

Quite gently, softly, as if asking for permission. And I didn't mind, slightly opening my lips. He realized this, deepening the kiss and acting more assertive and bold.

After this kiss, which obviously showed both mine and his feelings, he asked me to a date.

Dating an older guy (as he seemed to me at that time) was very unusual, even great. Compared to my relationship with Jae, Taeil was confident in his feelings, in many things in general.

I went on many dates with him, he sang a lot to me, because to my surprise, he had an angelic voice. He was graduating from university, doing his final project, worked at the part time job, and sometimes he didn't have time for me. And I was a first year, I just wanted some romance and love.

And Teil arranged it for me. He bought tickets to distant islands in Japan, and I couldn't believe he did it. Taeil worked a lot, his parents weren't rich like Jae's parents, but he wasn't even going to take money from me for tickets or anything else. 

The island was magical. And it was a season at which I wanted to see something out of tales: cherry blossom. But the time spent there with Taeil made everything a hundred times more beautiful. It was comfortable with him, I knew that he would always help and protect me.

That night we went back to our hotel and Taeil ordered a fine expensive wine in our room, which brightened our mood.

And that night our kisses became hotter, it felt better to kiss while lying down, his hands felt softer, and his fingers became hotter.

I wanted him. I have never been with anyone like that, with Jae we never got to this point, I felt that I wasn't ready, and he was ready to wait. I have never tried it with Taeil, because I was also afraid of everything, and he is a grown and patient guy.

But tonight ... tonight I felt ready. I want him to be that special guy.

That night he was insanely gentle and attentive, he pressed me tightly to him, his lips and hands were everywhere. Despite his tries, it still hurt me.

The next morning, my whole body ached and I was ashamed to look at him, but he understood everything and even joked about it, which made me relaxed and I felt more comfortable, especially when he told me that I am beautiful ...

We had enough nights like that after, even incredibly many, which I liked a lot. At those moments I understood that I loved him, and he constantly reminded that he loved me too.

Jeno and Yuta met my boyfriend, and I was not even surprised that they liked him. Taeil knows how to win over people. Yuta even made friends with him, and Jeno treated him with respect.

The first year of my studies came to an end, the exams were passed, and my boyfriend was finishing university. Me and Yuta, and the whole debating club, came to his graduation. I knew most of his friends, for them I was more like a little sister, which was annoying but also cute.

He looked great in his graduation uniform. Handsome, I was once again amazed at my boyfriend. And then we went to celebrate at his home.

While I was on holidays, he found a job in a prestigious company, and spent time there from early morning until late at night, taking big steps in his career. And for me ... I was a little lonely.

And at that exact time Jaehyun texted to me. The same old Prince Jae who has grown even more handsome over the past year. I was glad to finally have a normal conversation with him, he was also glad, he said that ... he missed me.

Jae spent the whole week trying to flirt with me, sometimes even suggesting to renew the relationship, but I kept ignoring it. I love Taeil.

Two more months passed like this. Taeil was constantly busy, and I went out for a walk with Jeno and Yuta. Mark came back for the holidays and I was incredibly happy to see him again, he had found a wonderful girlfriend, whom he constantly boasted about, and I was happy for him.

Jae also came back. Our small gang gathered again, we began to hang out for the whole summer and it was a lot of fun, but ... Jae didn't give up. Even knowing that I have Taeil.

I haven't seen Taeil in a month. The second month started. I felt terrible, but I understood him, I knew how hard it was for him as well. A second year of study has begun.

I studied, had fun with friends. And I was lucky if I saw my boyfriend once a month. I felt tired of this.

“Tae,” he looked at me questioningly as he sipped his drink in front of me.

"Are we still dating?" an intense stare, I'm scared to hear the answer.

"What are you talking about? Of course, we are dating, I love you," my heart skipped a beat.

"Tae, I see you only once a month ... this is not a healthy relationship."

This conversation went nowhere once again. And I cried in my pillow at night once again. So another six months passed. Six months during which I saw my boyfriend only a couple of times a month.

That was the end. We both knew it. It was very important for him to achieve career heights, and I couldn't stop him in this. Our feelings also weakened. And we went our separate ways. Tears once again.

Jae found out about my breakup and offered to bring 'us' back again. But I didn't see a boyfriend in Jae anymore, he was a prince, but not from my fairytale. He was as the first love, which is just nice to reminiscence.

And the end of my second year was approaching. On the holidays, I decided not to idle just like that, but to get a part-time job. Jeno found himself a girlfriend, like Yuta, who had found a girl a bit earlier (he constantly changed girls, but this one had been with him for quite a long time). And they no longer had time for me, and seeing happy couples made me sad, so I should have changed my life.

The cafe where I got a job at was cozy and nice, but at the same time it belonged to huge conglomerate, which is why they had high demands. I immediately became friends with my colleagues, a nice girl and an equally nice guy who called himself YangYang.

He was a Chinese, now studying in Korea. His Korean was very cute and I liked him as a person too. I wanted… to feel man's warmth next to me again. And maybe that's why I started flirting with this guy. He was shy, because he was a bit younger than me, and this intrigued me even more.

I dragged him with me on a date, walked around with him, held his hand, and he was so shy and charming. When we climbed the Ferris wheel to the very top, I kissed him.

He didn't kiss skillfully, but I liked even that. That night I took him to my room. I also made love to him there, I was his first. He was inexperienced, but I experienced a great pleasure, which I so lacked for relaxation lately.

It is, of course, not right to sleep with a young boy, but I wanted to be bad so much.

After that night, I decided not to get involved with Yang anymore, but at work he looked at me so lovingly, tried to touch or catch me in some dark corner and kiss me. I felt guilty, because I didn't feel anything for him.

However, I need to take responsibility for what happened, and when he tried to kiss me, hug me or ask me out, I didn’t resist. I didn’t resist when he awkwardly tried to hint at , and I didn’t refuse when he offered to date.

Dating a guy younger than me was weird. But there was also a plus. He was so in love with me. I was surrounded by care, love, almost drowning in his affection. And it turned out that he was not just a schoolboy who decided to earn some money in cafe, he was the son of the boss of this huge conglomerate.

This made me even more embarrassed. It was as if I started dating him just because of this. He was crazily in love, bought us tickets to Shanghai, his homeland. And again, he didn't accept my money, and I just went with him to Shanghai.

Shanghai was great, YangYang taught me Chinese and showed me around. His enthusiasm was so adorable. And funny. And this boy was insatiable, which was exactly what I needed. But everything collapsed with one sentence.

"I love you."

"What?" after rough , I hoped that I just heard it wrong.

“I love you,” he turned to me and looked into my eyes, pulling me closer. "I'm serious, I've never felt this way."

At that moment, I was scared. I realized that I had gone too far with this short term fun. He's a nice guy who really liked me, and I behaved like a with him. It's time to end this before things get too far.

"Yang, let's break up," I uttered these cruel words as soon as we once again met at work. I avoided him all week and wrote a letter of resignation.

He looked at me with eyes full of pain, confusion and misunderstanding. I didn't want to make things worse, I just did what I had to and left. I never saw the radiant and enthusiastic YangYang again.

The year flies by fast, nothing really changes: Yuta is still dating that cute girl, it looks like everything is serious, I'm still hanging out with the guys and she's now a full-fledged member of our group. Mark and Jae come over from time to time and also spend time with us. I keep studying.

But for Jeno and Mark things are not so rosy. They both parted with their girlfriends and now, from time to time, they look in pain at the interactions of Yuta and his girlfriend. Although, I'm not better, nothing changes.

Jeno introduced me to his roommate, who turned out to be a handsome guy named Jaemin. He initially instilled fear in me with his bluntness of judgment, but I quickly got used to it and he even reminded me of Yuta.

We became good friends that we even began to hang out without Jeno and even flew to Jeju together, having fun there. Also together we helped Jeno to forget about his ex-girlfriend.

At the university, I started doing my final project, which means  whether I will finally graduate from the university or not. I was put on a project team with Kun. Initially, I didn't remember him, but later it turned out that he was friend of my ex, Taeil.

He was a pretty quiet guy who came from China. Although our interests varied in many ways, it was fun to hang out with him. He was one of those people who would say something funny unintentionally, and that was what I liked about him.

My curiosity ate me up, so I casually asked how Taeil was doing there. It turned out that they are still in touch, and Taeil finally achieved what he wanted - he rose high and founded his own business to buy out and reinstall the buildings. And he recently began to date a new girl.

It was only at that moment that I realized: I still hadn't forgotten him. One sentence with his name.. and I began to think about him again. I need to let him go, because he let me go long time ago..

It was tough, but I dug into working with Kun and gradually in jokes, hard work and parties with friends, I let him go. Let him go and let myself fall in love again.

Finally, the day of the presentation came by, which was a little tough, but we passed, which means I finally finished my studies. Kun and I spent the entire prom ceremony together. He also looked very good in the suit, and he gave out compliments to me as well, which was a very rare occasion: to hear compliments from Kun.

All my friends came to my prom: Yuta with his girlfriend, Jeno was also there, of course, Jaemin and a couple of other people I knew. Mark and Jae couldn't come, because the graduation was held for them as well, fortunately, at the Yuta's university the graduation took place later. Parents didn't come.

We also went to the Yuta's graduation with the whole crew next day, laughed, , but were incredibly happy. Our "foreigners" were supposed to arrive in a couple of weeks and we all planned to have fun, flood our sorrows, hardships and a frightening future with alcohol. Today we didn't care about anything.