The only word Junkyu could use to describe his next few days was: brutal.

Haruto’s first comment that day sparked the beginning of a vicious cycle of snarky comments from him and his friends. It was easy for Junkyu to think about taking the advice of his friends. “Kyu, ignore them.” “They only keep going because you react how they want you to.” “Want to fight him? I’ll help!” Some advice was more… extreme than others, but nonetheless, actually trying to put it into action was near impossible.

Junkyu’s replies were getting weaker and weaker each time another comment landed on him, and it was clear to Haruto that he was breaking him down. Every time they saw each other, Haruto’s cockiness grew. He knew he was winning.

In all honesty, Junkyu was just tired. He could care less about being made fun of for the video. He was tired of being on high alert, tired of caring. Mostly, he was tired of the pounding in his head. It was arguably the worst side effect of everything going on; more than the unwanted attention, more than the permanent record of him on the internet.

Junkyu had been resting his head down on his desk, hoping to fall into a deep sleep and have his teacher ignore him. Instead, he is greeting with the scrape of the chair in front of him being pulled out.

Haruto, of course. Always perfectly on cue in the worst way.

“Can we take a break for today?” Junkyu grumbles, “I really just want to sleep..” This he mumbles into his arm, not even bothering to look up at the boy.

All he’s met with is silence. 10, 20, 30 seconds pass. Eventually 1 whole minute. Nothing. That only makes Junkyu more on edge. What was he doing? Taking pictures of him? Some other cliche bully thing? As he thought more about it his heart rate spiked. , he thought. How do I get out of this one?

He jolts up, almost gasping for air. It takes his eyes a few moments to adjust, and he blinks, trying to make the picture in front of him more clearly.

Mashiho.

It was Mashiho in front of him. That explained the silence. Junkyu furrows his brow, trying his best not to look too startled. He succeeds somewhat, opting for a more accusatory look. Mashiho, however, is impossible to read. He stares back at Junkyu with a blank stare. It was impossible to tell how he was feeling.

The face-off feels like it lasts hours. Eye contact held, but no words were exchanged.

Mashiho is the first to fold. “Kyu-” he starts, but stops short.

Junkyu’s expression turns cold. Why did I think it would go differently? he thinks. ‘Kyu’ had become a name he despised. The way it rolled off Haruto’s tongue disgusted him.

For a short second, Mashiho’s emotion shows. It’s... apologetic? regretful? It was hard to pinpoint exactly what because as quickly as it showed, it disappeared.

Junkyu doesn’t see it. He was leaving. He couldn’t take it anymore. Everyone, including the professor, just watches as he walks out the classroom door, not bothering to stop him. They all know, subconsciously, they should let him be. Everyone knew what was happening, but no one had the balls to step in.

–

Junkyu doesn’t breathe until he steps into the door of his house. He falls to the floor, desperately trying to get air into his lungs. Everything is on fire. His body, his mind, maybe even the floor. He hadn’t stopped running since he left his classroom. He couldn’t stop, and nothing could’ve stopped him. Not the phone calls, not the school staff, not the pain. Nothing.

He finally broke, no one knew he did. The endless stress, always being on high alert. Junkyu thought if he had just ignored it he’d be fine, and he really believed he was. Something about today set him off.

Junkyu felt… dramatic. Running out of school over this? It was so insignificant, but it felt like his world was crashing down on him. He just panicked. Acted on impulse.

Laying back, his back hits the ground harder than he intended it to. He’s flat to the ground, staring up at the ceiling of his doorway. The dots in his vision from the throbbing in his head dance around, making little black and white figures. He tries to blink them away, but it seems they’re here to stay. Junkyu sighs and exhales, slowly coming back down to his regular breathing rate. He stays in this little oasis for a few minutes, the most calm he’d had in days. The quiet hum of the house is something he’d never appreciated until now, or never even noticed. It competed against the hum in his own head, but not in a way that hurt him. They complimented each other. It eased the pain.

His moment is ruined by the ring of his cell phone. The high-pitched noise pierces sharply into his brain, ruining any peace he was feeling. Junkyu scrambles to find his phone and promptly turns it off. He struggles to even see who's calling, opting to just hit the decline button. He puts his phone on silent to prevent any more interruptions. He was moments away from sleep and there was no way he was moving from his spot.

So, he sleeps.

It feels like just minutes before his nap is interrupted by a loud pounding on the door right next to his head. Maybe not the best location for a nap. Silently, he rises from his spot on the floor, unsure of what to expect when he opens the door.

Junkyu slowly unlocks the door and cracks open barely enough to see who is outside. Before he gets a chance to say anything, the intruder pushes the door open forcefully. This causes Junkyu to get hit in the forehead by it and promptly fall back to the floor.

He groans, hands flying up to cradle his head, “Ow..”

“, Junkyu! Why were you standing there?”

Hyunsuk.

“..Nevermind. Why haven’t you been answering my calls, dude? You left midday and it's been radio silence ever since, no one can get a hold of you. We’re worried,” the last part comes out quieter, less accusatory.

Junkyu sighs, giving himself time to breathe before he answers. And think. He still didn’t have a clear answer, much less one that he wouldn’t be embarrassed sharing with Hyunsuk.

But, he knew he would have to be honest. If not, it would only get worse.

“I can’t take it anymore, Hyunsuk,” he looks up to make eye contact with him, “This fabricated feud with those boys is draining me. I’m scared to enter classes with them.. over a ing video!” Junkyus voice is gradually getting louder, and he’s standing up now, getting more and more heated. “Everyone forgot already, it wasn’t a big deal after the initial shock. But these s won't stop! Haruto is ing relentless! And Mashiho,” his anger falters for a moment, “Mashiho is what set me off. Using that ing name for me knowing it’s been ruined. It seems ridiculous but I can’t do it anymore. I need a break.”

When he stops speaking he's breathing heavily. It was exhausting, but it felt so great to let it out. Hyunsuk stares at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. He’d never seen Junkyu express so much all at once.

“God, Junkyu, why didn’t you say anything? No– sorry. We should’ve done something. We all noticed but you never seemed bothered until today. I’m so sorry Kyu- Junkyu.”

Junkyu flinches at the name, and he regrets it. It wasn’t supposed to feel bad, it was what his friends had called him for years. All to be ruined in a week.

He closes his eyes and collapses into the chair behind him, “Hyunsuk, it’s not your fault. It’s no one's fault but theirs, you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“I know but–”

“Stop. Let’s stop talking about it? I got everything I needed to say out, I’ll move on.”

“Are you sure?” Hyunsuk isn’t budging.

Junkyu laughs at the others' concern, “Yes, I’d rather think about something else. Wanna watch a movie?”

Hyunsuk smiles hesitantly and nods, “Sure. Let's do it.”

The two spent the night watching movies, talking, and ignoring ‘the situation’, as per Junkyu’s request. It was fun. Junkyu hadn’t felt genuine comfort or happiness like it in a while. Hyunsuk left after the second movie as they had school the next day, so they said their goodbyes, and Junkyu was left alone again.

This time, however, he didn’t feel so torn apart.

What Junkyu had failed to mention to Hyunsuk, or anyone, was that he was taking the next week off from school. If he went back in the morning, any progress he made would be in vain. He needed time to improve himself.

The first step was going to be singing more. While watching the movies, he had been searching his brain for the next perfect song to cover for his YouTube channel. It had come to him moments after Hyunsuk left:

Breath by LeeHi

The song itself was beautiful and he knew it would make a great second video, but he related to the lyrics a little too much. It hit him. Hard.

So, he got to work.