September 18th 2018

Dear Johnny,

          It's been a while … I don't know if it is even appropriate writing to you after so long, not to mention the likelihood of you still living in the same apartment.

          Our friendship has been on my mind recently, a lot, actually. I keep thinking how things would be if I just replied… I don’t imagine you are the same person that I was close to years ago, and that would be fair. Time has changed me as well, some for better, and others not as much so. I keep trying to imagine a matured version of you seven years later, but for some reason, it’s proven to be difficult. You were such a free spirit then, I have trouble picturing a version of you who is settled down and married. I hope you are well though.

          I was at the grocery store yesterday trying to figure out what bread I wanted, and you came into mind. Not that you have anything to do with my dilemma of choosing between Rye and whole wheat, but somehow in aisle nine of the grocery store you showed up. It seems like most things remind me of you these days. The other day the smell of coffee that wafted across the street from a nearby café had pulled me in on my walk home from work. You're right, coffee does have a bad reputation of being a luxury that can only be enjoyed on the go. Sitting there, in that cafe with a cup settled beside of my laptop, it was the most centered I had felt in weeks. Suddenly the writer's block that had been haunting me for the past month had disappeared. It's unfortunate that my body had changed since the last time we had communicated. It seems that even the small amounts of caffeine at 5pm was enough to keep me up the whole night. Things I had never thought I associated a memory to, still remind me of you. There is a man who walks his poodle and crosses by our building at 8:20 sharp every morning, and I couldn't help but remember your comment about how they reminded you of a dog wearing those judicial wigs. You said that you imagine they were the judges of the dog world and it would be a lie if I said that didn't bring a smile to my face. Interesting how a man staring at you and your dog, with a smile plastered on his lips on a random wednesday can make strangers uncomfortable.

          I know all of this may not mean much after so long, but I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for not keeping in touch. I was young and insecure of the person I was back then, but I didn’t want that insecurity to be the reason for another regret of not reaching out. Whether you receive this, if you receive this, I don’t expect there to be a response to this letter, but I needed to let you know that I miss you. I owe a lot to you and I’m thankful for it.

Yours,

Jaehyun